I, like many other people get my period once a month. Up until recently I have only been using pads, but I’ve been wanting to switch to tampons or other alternatives for awhile. This is mostly because I have an extremely heavy flow, which causes me to use pads meant for overnight (which are giant btw) during the daytime and I have to change them really, and I mean really, frequently. I’m always anxious that I may be leaking while wearing them and it makes me really uncomfortable.

For context, my mother is very traditional. I came up to her one day to ask to switch to tampons, expecting her to agree with a fairly normal reaction. Instead, she flipped out on me and gave me a whole lecture of how I should be ashamed of even asking such a thing and that apparently she genuinely thinks a piece of dry ass cotton would take my virginity.

I literally thought she was joking, but she was being 100% serious. I argued with her for a solid 20 minutes on why a tampon would in fact, not take my virginity.

It was obvious that even trying to convince her was like trying to convince a brick wall, so after a few more arguments I got fed up and decided I’d buy tampons with my own money.

My brother was kind enough to agree to drive me to a nearby store and I bought some without issue. A couple weeks went buy and everything was going fine until my mother decided it was a good idea to rummage though my room, and you guessed it she found my opened box of tampons in my closet. I would’ve hid them better if I knew she liked to snoop around my room.

She was furious and was basically screaming about how I’m a whore and how I’ll essentially (she didn’t say it in these exact words but she definitely wanted to) I’ll die alone for having used a tampon.

Now she’s giving me the silent treatment until I apologize to her. But I still don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, and I’m not one to throw out meaningless apologies.

My girlfriend (27) is saying that I (25) can’t watch certain shows

My girlfriend of 5 years is upset and concerned with me watching shows with specific aspects and themes throughout them. The list is mainly including shows that have violence, gore, rape, and etc.

It started years ago during Game of Thrones. She would watch with my family and I as we were invested into the series at the time. She would come to me and tell me that she was uncomfortable with the show and that I needed to look away when rape scenes would come on. I disagreed as it does not disgust me to that point, I don’t think anything does. Mind you, I don’t cheer for it or revel in the fact that it is there. It does make me uncomfortable, which I assume is the purpose of the scene (and the emotion to have to it).

This has extended to other shows like The Boys, which I have not watched the newest season of as I did not want to stir up any commotion, as well as the newest one from the past few days: Peaky Blinders.

I started Peaky Blinders as it was recommended and sounded interesting. We were both unaware of the show. After I mentioned I started watching a couple episodes, she immediately started looking it up and said “You can’t watch this.” I was not asked to consider anything and the is bothersome. After some back and forth I agreed to just skip any rape scenes (the concern at the time). Then I was told to skip all the scenes where the characters are not clothed. Ok.

Following to the next day, she’s looking it up again and saying there is too much gore and that it’s disgusting that I would watch a show like that. I’m being told that she’s considering ending the relationship because I am interested in shows with those aspects and can’t grow up to watch “good shows”.

I understand that they are bad qualities. I am watching the shows for production and storyline, not for the torture, violence, gore, and rape. Personally, I don’t think I should be disallowed to watch shows as such as I don’t fantasize, look forward to, or get influenced by those scenes.

With all of this, I am looking for perspective. Perspective for her side and for mine. I don’t understand being so polarized on something like this, and I also don’t understand myself enough to explain it any better to give an understanding.

My daughter wants to be an influencer… How do you advice her against it?

With 9k followers on Instagram, she wants to quit uni to pursue being an influencer… I hope I am not seen as a bad parent for saying this..

But she can’t dance or sing.. All she does is post weird random vlogs on insta..

Even a basic degree job already will yield 3k salary.. Any advice on how to make her stay in uni?

Netizen’s comments

Stay in uni while being an influencer as side hustle. Being in uni can give her extra connections and also helps her produce relatable content that reaches her age group (eg “day in my life as a uni student” vlogs, “uni outfit ideas”). Some influencers actually lose popularity once they make it their full time job, because their followers think the content is no longer relatable. When your content goes from uni daily routines and outfits for school/work, to daily life attending influencer events and eating at nice restaurants, the original followers might lose interest.

There are many influencers who graduated uni and went on to do full time jobs as well. I’m talking influencers with 6 digit followers, come from well to do families, but still went on to work. They just don’t publicise it for privacy concerns.

Being a successful influencer also requires a lot of business and marketing skills, which she can learn from work experience. Strategising how to create content, handling finances, etc. Also, many successful influencers go on to start their own business because they know the influencer career cannot go on forever, it’s hard to stay trendy as you age. Worst still kena cancel and your income takes a hit. That’s when uni and work experience can help.

Look at bellywellyjelly who created iamkai, denisesoong who has a tuition center, jade rasif went to become a nurse or sth? And they have way more followers than your daughter.

So don’t look at uni/work and influencer as mutually exclusive. Strategise about how to use both to boost each other.

Edit to add: don’t look down on her content. Appreciate the effort and creativity she put in, so you can discuss as equals on how to boost it further.

I’m naturally slim/have a flat stomach etc even though I don’t really work out or eat healthily.

I feel like the first thing that men like to comment on when I go on dates or just post a picture online is how I have the ‘perfect petite body’ etc, and it’s honestly pretty creepy.

I feel like the only reason these men are going out with me is because of my body and not really because we have shared interests and I leave the date early because we have nothing to talk about.

What’s also creepy is that a lot of men say that I have a nice ‘teen body’ and I’m like 22, it just disgusts me how a lot of men seem to be so fixated on my body like I have absolutely nothing to offer.

I even had a conversation with a guy saying that what if I gained a bit of weight because of a health condition, or got pregnant, or you know just naturally put on weight because I aged, and he kept telling me that ‘he would help me lose weight and it seems like he’s so fixated on my weight that nothing else really matters.

I just want to take a break from dating or meeting people because I’m just realizing that a majority of men are so sick and obsessed with women maintaining a perfect body shape which is disgusting and horrible.

Here are what netizens think:

People can say what they want and see what they want, suck it up.

Lan lan suck thumb, this is how the world works. Be glad that you naturally have a good physique.

People fat kpkb, u slim also kpkb. Maybe you can just stay at home don’t come out the best.

My girlfriend doesn’t have a good relationship with her parents growing up (due to various issues such as biasness towards her other sibling etc.) and was away from home for a few years but moved back home just before we got together.

Recently, she has been staying over at my place quite regularly and goes home only once in ~2 weeks. I have been encouraging her to go home at least once a week to see her family and spend a little time with them but instead she feels like I am pushing her away to ‘have my own time’ which honestly I don’t really need.

On the other hand, I have a fairly good relationship with my parents and I have always hoped for my girlfriend to mend her relationship with her parents too ever since we have been together and I knew of her strained relationship with her family. That is why I ask her to go home about once a week to see her parents and spend some time with them, and it would also give her parents a better impression of me as I would not be seen as someone who kind of ‘stole’ their daughter from them (considering that she stays over at my place almost everyday). I have also suggested having meals with her parents once in a while but she is kind of reluctant to do so as she said her parents would most likely not be up for it.

On the rare days that my girlfriend does go home, I feel that she talks to her parents and sibling pretty rudely and I have always reminded her to be more polite when having conversations with them. She is not rude by nature and talks nicely to everyone else, even my parents.

Everytime I bring up the point about the way she treats her parents, my girlfriend would start to be angry and insist that I don’t and won’t understand since I have a good relationship with my parents. I have explained to her that I don’t stand to gain anything by reminding her to watch her tone when she talks to her parents and asking her to treat them better, but my gut tells me that I can’t not do anything seeing her treat her parents in this way. Afterall I’m like an outsider/ third party and I can be ignorant about this issue if I really want to.

Over the course of our relationship, this issue has been one that has caused us to argue sometimes. My girlfriend feels that I don’t understand and can never understand her relationship with her parents but I am trying my best to do so. Her believe stems from the fact that we come from different family backgrounds and she doesn’t have the family support which I have growing up all these years.

Any advice on how I can solve this recurring issue with my girlfriend?