I cheated 6 years ago on my current boyfriend. I’m going to tell him.

My (26f) bf (28m) and I met in school 10 years ago, we got together pretty fast and been exclusive ever since. He was my first love and first intimate partner.

Every relationship has their flaws as did ours… The first 5 years were hard and he wanted more space in the relationship as I did.

One time after my evening shift I met a colleague and an old classmate of my boyfriend and a friend of my colleague at a bar and I would go out for a bit with them and bring those drunkheads home.

Then when we got to the place of my colleague the friend went outside because he was sick and the colleague and I started talking.

Then he started to kiss me. My bf and I barely kissed back then because we just weren’t good at it and this felt good.

I shouldn’t have done it but I let him. Then he wanted more, and he kept taking his man part out and I kept saying no, but he trying and trying and pushing me on the couch and kept talking me into it and i gave in.

I know that as soon as he wasn’t on top of me I should’ve run, I didn’t, I let it happen. As soon as I got to my bf parents house (we still lived at our parents) I took a shower and crawled into bed with him.

I’ve never told him about this because he said: “when one of us cheats it’s over) I didn’t feel guilty either, and that wasn’t the best feeling. I got over it and never told anyone.

My boyfriend and I got engaged a couple of months ago and are planning our wedding.

I don’t want to live with this anymore, I need to tell him and give him the choice of breaking up. It breaks my heart in a million pieces and it’s hard knowing that it might all be over, but I am very well aware that it is waaay too late to feel sorry for myself.

Caught between difficult mother and husband

This mother’s day, I planned to bring my mum to eat Chinese food. But she is very picky and on occasion has been known to complain about the food.

(Brought her to eat Chinese food for her birthday last year and she hated it, didn’t eat, directly complained)

So on mother’s day, my husband said that I should bring her to eat familiar Indonesian food, instead of Chinese. He also said that Indonesian cuisine is something that he can bring his own mother and grandmother along for. I also decided to bring my aunt to eat on mother’s day.

When my mum that we would be going to eat Indonesian food, she was not happy.

She complained that she didn’t like the cuisine and she was not happy that I was bringing my aunt along as my aunt would “make a fool out of herself”. As a result she says she doesn’t want to come for the mother’s day dinner.

She even tried saying “oh I don’t feel like eating Indonesian food” as an excuse to not come because she didn’t like the restaurant or company.

I feel so disappointed and upset. If I change to Chinese food, she still won’t be happy. I considered giving in and actually taking her for Chinese but that would mean the rest go with my husband. Not fair to do that to them also right?

Advice please? It is mother’s day and I am trying to please all but I don’t know if I should prioritize my mother at the cost of the rest. Also my aunt is a single mother, her kids neglect her. She was originally working on Mother’s day but I asked her to take leave so I can bring her out. Yes she may be chatty but I don’t see an issue like my mum does.

SIGH. So resigned honestly.

Here are what netizens think:

• Give them each a happy meal and tell them bye bye

• Is Mother’s Day and your mother want full attention (she sound like she want to be a princess ) instead of bringing your aunt who has her own children.Sit down with her,tell her your view,ask her what she wants and listen to her.Don’t assume she like surprisesRemember is her day so don’t please other people but her.

• I wonder why you are the one who decide what and where to eat. Why don’t you ask your mum what and where she want to go to celebrate?And do you really have to gather everyone on the same day? I think it’s just so it’s convenient for you, not them.So here is what I suggest: Ask your mum to decide. If you proritize her, bring her to where she wants to eat on MD. (anyway if she decide, she cannot complain)As for the rest, you can bring them to eat Indo crusine at an earlier or later date.The day is not important. The 心意 is more important.

• if your mum wants to be difficult and act like a superstar, just leave her alone at home. stop condoning her actions.

• Maybe can split into 2 diff days? Or ask her what kimd of food she wants, if she says anything but yet complain every single thing then might as well stay at home and just buy a cake and kfc chicken in a basket

My parents are looking at me as a retirement plan. They keep saying that they are waiting for me to work then they will retire and rely on me fully. They don’t have much savings, due to bad spending habits(involved in mlm, buy toto) and this resulted in stress for me. They are self-employed hence not much money in cpf too.

I have been paying for my own education since poly and groceries that I need, in case you all are wondering how I took so much money from them and didnt return the favour.

I would like to help out w bills and such, but I’m not like earning 10k straight out of sch so supporting them fully will be out of the qn. I wanted to help w bills and groceries and maybe give them a small allowance but how to draw the line?? I’m afraid that once I start helping out financially, they will really expect everything, like not just bills. They are alrdy telling me to leave a room for them in my future house so I can take care of them fully, but I really have no such plans since I’m intending to start a family of my own. Currently, they are still healthy though, just tired of working. I suggested that they would have enough pocket money once I move out, since they can rent out my room, but they are not happy with still needing to work.

I’m stressing out rn and would like some advice on what to do. Somehow I’m so envious of my friends, whose parents have their savings and not raise children to be their retirement plans.

Btw I do have an older brother but he cut contact after moving out, so somehow I became their last resort, and I resent him for that. If our parents ever need help w medical bills or need payment for nursing homes in future, are there legal means to push him to pay his portion?? It is really unfair for me to shoulder everything myself. He didnt give any allowance or pay the bills even though he was alrdy working when living w us.

Here are what netizens think:

• Ur bro should share the responsibility with you. At the same time, u need to have a talk with ur parents that ur need to save up for ur future. Dont they want you to get married, have a family of ur own and have a house of ur own. They need to stop wasting money on 4ds n stuffs n save up instead no matter how much.

• There might be 1,000,001 advices, comments or conspiracy theories on this one. There is a saying in Chinese “船到桥头自然直“, it just means things unfold and will come good in its own time. No point dwelling on this too-far-away-future issue now, and let it affect your present. You just have to look inwards within yourself what does family means to you, and how much you can or are willing to do for them. As long as you have done your best, then be it. That might give you a different answer. All best.

• Give them money by topping up their CPF. Pay bills only. No allowance. Once they get that, they will build up a habit to rely on you for that allowance.

• Can consider to Share some insurance premium with bro to rely on insurance for parents at old age which then transfer the financial risk to the insurance company.