My bf has a coworker who has caused us some problems. We have been dating for a few years, and when we started dating he was dating a few different women, one of which he works within a school.

Basically, the timeline as I understand it is we started dating, he met this girl in September, there was talking/flirting, they went out once and got drunk and slept together, he wasn’t super attracted to her and gave her the “I’m not really looking for a relationship right now” speech and figured they were cool. (Insert narrator voice, they were not cool) We became official in November

He thought they could still just be friends but I could see she wasn’t cool with that and things eventually erupted with her sending him walls of texts about leading her on, which happened to come up on his phone while I was sitting right there. So being a new relationship I of course think he’s cheating, and demand to see the messages. What I can say is he wasn’t cheating, she confirmed they only slept together once, and she was just really hurt. But the giant paragraphs were very victim-y and made me super uncomfortable. He blocked her number.

We had a long talk that he needed to really just stay away from this girl as much as he could, she’s not his friend and would be happy if we broke up. I did what most woman do and looked her up online and found…a lot. A bunch of posts about how it’s heart breaking to see the love of your life with someone else, how two people can be in love and the timing be off, and a lot of posts about being kept on the back burner/being a side chic. This upset me a lot too, I think mostly because I’ve been there. I’ve totally been the chic a dude was keeping in the back ground and it’s not cool.

Now I sorta sat on this info for a while until the pandemic happened and since everyone was working from home, I realized her number had been unblocked. I saw the name come up on my bf’s phone again and was not happy. He’s like “we’re fine, we just work together” and that’s when I showed him all her posts and said no way, he needs to be careful with this girl. And shocker a few weeks from that convo she sent him all these walls of texts confessing her love and how they are meant to be and accusing him of leading her on. I took these messages and read them to my therapist because now I’m like…am I being gaslit here?

What’s really going on?

My therapist said they sound very manipulative and like someone who may have narcissism or another personality disorder trying to victim blame into getting her way. He reblocked her number (and to be clear they are not in contact on any social media or any other platform other than email). After that blocking she sent him an email when someone in his department got Covid that was like “I know you said no personal conversations but I care about you and want to make sure your ok” so I know he’s had convos with her about things being strictly professional between them.

Now moving forward to recently. He had a big issue at work where he had to work with her on something and came home and talked about it. I’m sorry but I just don’t like this girl. She makes me uncomfortable. So I googled her name again just to see if anything came up and I looked at her linked in. I think was hoping I would see something indicating maybe she would be leaving or moving on.

But its never ending

I have known this guy through online, we met and have some connections in terms of work.

We have been chatting but mostly it’s because of work and I thought we are just normal friends, until one day when we were out alone for lunch, he came and hug me.

I didn’t resist even though i know this is wrong.. he is just married and have a new born baby.

I have tried to leave him many times but each time he is telling me that he love me only but can’t leave them because of his baby.

I can tell from the way he react and treat me is really love though..

We still have connections in work therefore it is hard for me to sever the relationship with him.. So each time when i ask for a break up, it is going back to square one.

Cause i know that deep down i have really fallen for him.

He is selfish that he want two relationships because he can’t leave his family but can’t leave me alone too…

He will say things that hurt when i tried not to talk too much to him. I am suffering mentally. i know i am going to have a lot of hate comments from this. But I just need an outlet to rant…

Netizens’ comments

• Yea, you can stay cos he will need a clown for his child’s one-month party and future birthday parties.

Hi. I just got together with my boyfriend for about 8 months, and I’ve not met his family only because i’m afraid to meet her mom because her mom is super judgemental.

Not sure why and it obviously made me super upset and angry. She managed to find my instagram and she judge me based on my instagram on how i wear and my physical appearance.

She thinks I am super materialistic even when i’ve got no branded clothing or bags etc I don’t wear make up very often except for special occasions only because we’re wearing mask and there is no reason for me too.

She always have this assumption that I am spending her son’s money but I’m the working adult here and my boyfriend is still studying.

She assumes I don’t eat at hawker and only loves to eat at cafes because my IGS doesn’t post about it. BTW, I don’t even eat much cafe food.

I found out all these was because she likes to ring up my boyfriend and talk bad about me and when I heard them myself, I was overwhelmed, I am suppose to love myself but I actually felt crap about myself.

She don’t know me personally yet she attacked me. How should I deal this on my own, how do i overcome this?

Ultimately, I don’t want to be rude because afterall, if I wanna marry my boyfriend, She’s going to be my MIL.

BTW she does have over 5 IG accts, every block, she seems to have a new one stalking me.

I’m 21 this year. I’ve been with my boyfriend since JC1. I was 19 when I got pregnant. I chose to go for an abortion.

I never told him about the baby or the abortion. I knew he would have wanted me to keep it. He was that kind of guy who would have done the right thing and taken responsibility.

I wanted the baby too, but it was bad timing. He was in NS, due to start school in NUS, and I was already in NUS at the time.

I made the decision to abort even though every fiber of my being told me not to. I paid a taxi driver $80 for his time and to make sure that I got home safe after the procedure.

Every year, on the 14th of August, today, I feel guilt and sadness. The kind that feels overwhelming that I find it hard to get through my day.

Today, two years ago, was the day I got my abortion. I never knew my baby’s gender, but I chose Sam for the name itself was ambiguous.

I miss you so much, Sam, I’m so, so sorry. Not here, but loved and remembered all the same for the rest of my life.