My niece is 17 so she’s started thinking about her career/university.

Yesterday, the family was asking her if she had decided what she wanted to do with her life. She told them her dream job was the same job as my job.

Everyone automatically assumed she meant she wanted to work in marketing because that’s what I’m currently doing.

My niece said that’s not what she wants to do and she wanted to be a trophy wife.

Admittedly, this is a sore spot for me because a lot of my extended family went from treating me like someone who had worked hard to get where I currently am to a glorified trophy wife the second I got married.

My parents did call her out for what she said but my niece said her dad said that’s what I was.

I got annoyed and I ended up calling my brother-in-law and giving him a piece of my mind, and telling my niece I didn’t think it was a realistic dream for her.

My sister is upset with me for what I said to my niece and claims that her husband was only joking.

Netizen’s comments

• Let’s face it – your sister is upset because she and her husband got caught bad-mouthing you and are covering their embarrassment by getting mad at you. What they should be doing is apologizing to you for talking about you behind your back.
  As far as what you told your niece and your BIL – it was entirely appropriate. What did you sister expect you to say? That they were correct and what they said was fine?

how do people simply trust the people they meet on dating apps?

some of my friends use dating app because they are afraid of being left on the shelf. it seems like once the guy/girl fulfill a certain set of criteria, they will just go ahead and get married.

Mr A earns 6k a month, has a decent job, a few years older, already bought his own car. Miss B is working in the teaching sector, loves children and her family.

Mr A paints a good picture of a supportive and financially stable husband while Miss B is a potentially loving wife/mother.

of course there are many successful dating stories from online dating, often seeing comments about “i met my husband/wife on CMB etc”

but i wonder how many are actually messed up. for the messed up marriages, the affected parties are unlikely to talk about it so it will not be known.

many people on dating apps know how to market themselves well. all you see is just a photo (taken at their best angle) and a description of themselves which is likely well crafted to make them hot in demand.

how many Mr A actually met their full description? and how many Miss B are really kindhearted and loving? the whole thing just seems like a hoax but for people who use it, they willingly chose to be hoaxed.

Here are what netizens think:

• It’s just a way to meet ppl lah. After meetup, catfish will be eliminated and time will tell if rest of description is a hoax or not lah. And pls dun trust anyone u meet online. Google the shit out of them. U may find out they are married or have whatever cheating scandals that ppl have blog abt. Very interesting

• It’s about luck.Dating apps suit people who have a small social circle of friends.There are still nice people around.The bad sheep normally has the same characteristics.Inconsistency treatment is the most frequently seen RED FLAG.

• It’s not blind matchmaking la.You see their profile, but take it with a pinch of salt, both parties are interested to meet then y’all see if there’s any connection/chemistry etc. You get to know the person before committing to anything, not get married straight away I mean sure there can be hoaxes and catfishes on the platform but there are good people too and u only need to meet that one right person, which may mean meeting many other hoaxes first

A guy pays me just to ignore him

I work as a financial dominatrix and do online sessions and I’ve had a sub for the last few weeks now who’s just been paying me good money to ignore him.

It’d be like the most mundane thing like I’d be doing my makeup or reading a book and I’m literally muted and have his audio turned off and he still pays me hundreds of dollars to just ignore him like I don’t even look at the camera.

I have other subs who want me to degrade them or provide some form of stimulation for them but this is really throwing me!

Netizens’ comments

• I had a friend who did this, only he didn’t use camera, it was phone only. He would literally put down his phone and ignore the guy and we’d be playing video games together. He’d occasionally pick up the phone and be like “are you still there? Ok, I’m still ignoring you.” Apparently he made really good money from the guy. To each their own I guess lol

• …..I’m in the wrong business.

• He’s taking a feeling he doesn’t like–being ignored–and exploring that in a way where he has some degree of control.
  Paying you to ignore him is his way of taking control. In that situation, he has more control than in a scenario where someone just naturally ignores him.

So I’m just chilling at home. Go on Snapchat see who’s broken up and who’s birthday it is that I couldn’t care less about when I got an add from my cousin.

I knew it was my cousin because her username is literally her exact full name so I added her back and that’s when she sent me some explicit photos of herself 5 minutes later saying “you like?”

I don’t think she realised who she sent that to and so I sent back a photo of my face quoting “our parents are cousins.”

She then realised who I was. And then blocked me. The end.

Our family is messed up and that side of the family have completely disowned me so it wouldn’t shock me if she didn’t remember me.

Plus we haven’t seen each other in about 7 years lol.

Netizens’ comments

• Can’t be worse than this one dude in my school bus who told us of this story where he and the girl that made out found out they’re cousins through a family reunion.
• Print the photos, frame them, then give them to her as a present and say “thought you might want these back”

After some of my fail relationships with girls my age or lower here, and as I’m about to graduate, I realize that one thing I have never tried is to have a relationship with a married woman. Had a senior 4 years my age that I liked back in the past, but she turned me down because she deemed me too immature for her taste (or at least that is what I guessed). I started to realize that what I need is warmth, experiences, and understanding of an older-sister figure, yet also providing me the space to become the man to protect her.

So why married?

Probably because I see them as hotter and more forbidden – the more difficult it is to get the more appealing. Yes, yes, I know that my taste in women is degenerative and if I get caught trying to flirt with a married woman, I will be beaten to death. And I don’t really like widows either, I like to have the feeling of taking away the wife of another man and successfully conquer the feeling of a settled, serious, and difficult woman. People say that the more challenging it is, the more satisfying it feels to overcome. I have tried to flirt with girls who had boyfriends before but so far it wasn’t successful (one of them agreed to sleep with me as fwb but cut me off a few days afterwards out of guilt).

What should I do in my case? When I start to work, should I flirt with my older female colleagues and persuade them to leave their husbands for an adventurous and immoral-feeling relationship? How should I do so without the risk of losing my jobs or reputation?

For your information, I would rate myself a 8/10, I have an okay appearance, a bit on the thinner side but also taller.