What do you do when your friends are on the phone every time when you go out?

So i had 2 really recent experience which made me angry. 1 was for breakfast another was for outing (5pm to 11pm)

For breakfast, i managed to book a timing with my best friend and we went out to eat. When we met, i was berated for my life choices (education and talking style) then once we arrive and start ordering all the way till we went home, this person was on the phone texting or whatever.

I tried to talk and create subject (new phone/laptop/cute animals/gossips/jobs) but what the freak. Even when he put the phone down, he would be staring at it while cutting his bacon or egg or sausage.

Once we finished eating i suggested going for a stroll through the shopping mall to see some cool stuff or anything that catch our attention.

Whilst walking through the assortment of cool equipment and saying how “wa this is cool, wa maybe we can go do this with that equipment” i realised i was leading the way and it’s too quiet, so i turned around and see what? 10 meters away using phone.

At this point i just said “lets just go home”. Took the bus, all the way back, I stared out the window wondering why even try to make time for breakfast with others when i can do all this myself lmao. And i know it isn’t work related…

For my 2nd encounter with another good friend of mine. All this person wanted was to take photos. From ordering food to walking around. Photo photo photo.

I practically became a free photographer. And every photo i took i got critiqued, whether it be my angling, lighting or timing.

Like…i asked you out to catch up and have fun. Not become your photographer for 5 hours straight. Went home and slept immediately.

So my question is, what do you do here?

Netizen’s comments

Leave. Clearly not respecting your time and you as a person so why stick around?

If first person wants to spend time on his phone, they can do it at home.

Is anyone else also super fixated on being successful in life?

I feel like my entire world revolves around being successful and if not i am amount to nothing in life. Its an overachiever mindset but i feel like ive taken this too far where it consumes my whole life

Everything i do, hobbies be it gym or recreational stuff i feel like i must be the best.

I enjoy reading books then suddenly its now become a matter of how many books can I read, i need to beat last year’s number.

Even gifts for my boyfriend, i constantly pressure myself to beat last year’s presents to him.

I initially picked up jiu jitsu for fun then i didnt enjoy it anymore cus i started training for competition and it wasnt as fun anymore.

I feel like theres something wrong with me

Netizen’s comments

• are you aiming to be the best, or are you aiming to be better than yesterday? because hard truth: you’ll never be the best.
  hear me out. i understand where you’re coming from. i am similar to you; i consistently pressure myself to improve and be better. however, i think it’s important to remember the difference between being the best vs being better than you were yesterday.
  if you want to be the best, trying your hardest is not enough. doesn’t matter how much you try unless you have freaky genetics, there’ll always be someone better than you. similarly, this extends to every other aspect of your life as well. if you keep chasing to be the best, you’ll never be happy. you’ll keep asking yourself why someone can do x thing but you can’t do it. some people are just built different.
  WITH THAT SAID, there is nothing wrong with striving to be better than you were yesterday. if you accept that your only true competition is yourself, i think that aiming for progress is a good thing. otherwise, it would be boring if you’re stagnant and never challenging yourself. of course, you should also recognize that you will have bad days, and that you will have many of them; just gotta pick yourself up and keep going.
  look back at where you were last year and see how far you’ve come. next year, look back at today and see how far you improved since now. celebrate all your little milestones along the way because you’re now better than you were the day before. don’t let the chase for progress stop you from celebrating what you worked so hard for.

My niece is 17 so she’s started thinking about her career/university.

Yesterday, the family was asking her if she had decided what she wanted to do with her life. She told them her dream job was the same job as my job.

Everyone automatically assumed she meant she wanted to work in marketing because that’s what I’m currently doing.

My niece said that’s not what she wants to do and she wanted to be a trophy wife.

Admittedly, this is a sore spot for me because a lot of my extended family went from treating me like someone who had worked hard to get where I currently am to a glorified trophy wife the second I got married.

My parents did call her out for what she said but my niece said her dad said that’s what I was.

I got annoyed and I ended up calling my brother-in-law and giving him a piece of my mind, and telling my niece I didn’t think it was a realistic dream for her.

My sister is upset with me for what I said to my niece and claims that her husband was only joking.

Netizen’s comments

• Let’s face it – your sister is upset because she and her husband got caught bad-mouthing you and are covering their embarrassment by getting mad at you. What they should be doing is apologizing to you for talking about you behind your back.
  As far as what you told your niece and your BIL – it was entirely appropriate. What did you sister expect you to say? That they were correct and what they said was fine?