I’ve been together with my boyfriend for nearly one and a half years. We met during orientation and thing went on smoothly afterwards. My boyfriend was kinda sweet to me in the beginning when we were dating.

He would usually shower me with gifts and take me out to eat good and delicious food, which I really enjoy. But anyway, after we got together officially in the 2nd semester, we started to stay over at each other’s hostel room (thankfully we were both staying in single rooms at that time). I would say that things started to be more intense afterwards. He would start to introduce me to some ‘films’ and we would watch it together, especially during Friday nights since we don’t have school on Saturday. He would ask me to try out certain positions while watching those films. I’m definitely new to it but I do love these intense actions and what he’s doing to me.

Furthermore, it’s usually on Friday nights so not many people are in the hostel so we can be slightly noisy a bit.

However, recently, I’m kind of feeling very drained as we are spending nearly 4 to 5 hours every week.

Loyalty test

My friends told me that I should test him since he was so “active” and I agreed. My friend called my boyfriend on the loudspeaker and said that she quarrelled with me and asked if they could hang out.

My boyfriend pause on the phone for a few seconds and said “why not?” Then my friend said “I was thinking to go over your place to hangout maybe watch a movie and netflix… and chill?”.

My boyfriend pause for a few more seconds and said “yes, but she (my name) must not know, it must be a secret”.

I exploded and grabbed the phone and questioned him. He hanged up immediately.

What should I do? Should I break up with him? We haven’t talk for 2 days.

A max who was previously employed in a bank said that the bank is not a nice place to work as it is very stressful.

Here is the story:

The back end and front end of the bank is very different, I used to work in the back end and doing support was a special kind of ‘hell’.

Although in the contract it is stated I work 9-6 but most of the time (I would say about 70%) I work 9 – 10, 11 or even 12 am. Im not working in the support you thinking of, not the phone service.

My job was to edit and update the details of VIPs of the bank. The amount of work is insane and we have to change it in a timely manner to ensure customer satisfaction.

Tracking Bank Employees

Every movement in the bank system is tracked, from one transaction to the other, from one click to the other. It’s all timed by the system to judge our performance.

Actions/Time = performance level

If I fall below the acceptable grade my manager will come and F me. The system is used as part of a grading system of the employee which can affect bonuses, increments and even promotions.

The daily stress level is very high as I need to maintain a high-level score and this score is not visible to me, it’s like an invisible forcing us to work like cows in a field.

Sure, the overall public perception of working in a bank seems to be rich and powerful but the truth is the people in suits that are looking cool are the 1% top earners of the company.

Most of us are not doing that well.

Hi guys, would need advice on whether I should stay in a “relationship” that I deem as toxic.

Basically, I’m not officially in a relationship with this guy but we’ve been together for almost 2 years. We fight so often & many times, the fights are very intense & aggressive. When things escalate, he would usually shout at me while standing close to me & face down to me (i don’t really know how to describe his stance; but it’s an aggressive stance). When he does this, I wouldn’t even back down & would face him head on and fight it out with him (i admit my words can be too harsh during these kind of fights & note that my temper are really bad so sometimes i maybe the one that escalated the fight). 

But ya, he raised his hands during a few of these fights but have never actually laid hands on me. He’d usually end up throwing my stuff across the room, snatching my phone away to make me stay (because i’d usually try to leave the room & get away from him), or he’d smash stuff. Just to note, he does not raise his hand/ throw or smash stuff/ snatch my phone in every single fight. It’s only during these very intense ones, but these happened probably more than 6-7 times during the 2 years – and 1 time in public. 

Other than these intense fights, we also have very frequent long & random fights (heated but not as intense as the above). 

These are the things that I can’t accept but at the same time, when things are good he’d be really very nice to me. He’d always tolerate me & gives in to me. He’d buy me stuff that I wanted to purchase myself to surprise me when I asked him for opinions on which item is nicer. He’d also always bring me to eat any food that I’m craving for & does many things that I want. Honestly, I would really settle down with him if not for the above stuff. I just don’t want to end up giving him a chance to actually hit me when our fight gets too intense? And I find that we fight way too often & too intensely with either willing to back down?

Oh on a side note, he snores REALLY loudly every night which disrupts my sleep so badly that I feel like murdering him sometimes. Any advice on how to make him stop snoring so that I can get some decent sleep when I’m with him would be greatly appreciated please!