My husband and I have been married for 13 years, and we have 3 children together all under 10-years-old. We got together less than a year after he and his ex broke up because she was moving to another country for work.

They’d been together through Poly and Uni. I had no indication there were any feelings left over from that relationship, he’d led me to believe he was completely over it by the time we got together. Even after she moved back to our town I never got the idea there was anything still there.

Last night, he went to his friend’s bachelor party, because his friend is marrying my husband’s ex. He got very drunk at the bachelor party, which was a surprise because he’s never been a particularly big drinker. I had to come and pick him up. He rambled drunkenly the entire way home, and at one point mentioned he was depressed his ex was getting married because he still had some hope they might get back together.

He admitted to me that he settled for me after their relationship ended. He said if he’d known she was coming back to town he would have waited for her, and he wished he had waited. He assured me he does like me and he’s happy with me, but he sees her as the one who got away and he regrets that, and if he could go back and do it again he would have waited for her and tried to rekindle the relationship rather than getting together with me. I didn’t say anything, because I knew if I tried to speak I would probably cry.

He either doesn’t remember that conversation (or most of the latter part of the evening for that matter), or is too embarrassed to bring it up. I have no idea where to go from here. My husband basically just admitted he wishes he didn’t marry me, and he only did because he thought he’d never have a chance to get back with his ex.

I love him so much and I thought he felt the same, but it seems I was very much mistaken.

So, I met this guy “adam” 5 months ago, he’s really sweet and loving. he has a 2-year-old kid with his baby mama.

the problem I have is that whenever we plan on going on out for a date, adam’s baby mama would call and demand he take their son to stay with him. They never married so there’s no legal custody arrangements in place. Every time we plan to go out, she’d call and demand that adam come pick their son up to stay with him for hours resulting in our plans being cancelled. I told him his baby mama has been doing this deliberately, he said he noticed too but can not tell her no because if he refuses to take their son, she’d not allow him to see him for a whole month as a punishment. I told adam he has to put an end to this because it’s affecting how our relationship is progressing and he said he’ll try.

Last week, he invited me out for dinner at the restaurant. I was excited because he told me he was already at the restaurant so I thought “his baby mama doesn’t know so she won’t wreck our plans”. I got dressed nicely and did my hair and just took care of myself real good looking forward for some quality time together.

however, when I arrived to the restaurant I saw adam and his son there. I felt rage and disappointment washing over me. adam saw me and waved me to come closer but I turned around and walked out. he followed me outside trying to explain but I decided to go home and the date was obviously cancelled.

later he texted explaining that his baby mama did it again (he said he didn’t know how she figured out we were going out) and demanded he takes their son for the night. He said he didn’t want to “be punished” but neither wanted to cancel our date so he brought his son to the restaurant and I was wrong to turn around and walk out. I told him I was sick of this woman dictating our life and being intentionally hurtful, but he said I ruined our night after he tried to compromise and he didn’t appreciate that.

Maybe I did but I just wanted a quiet dinner for us both and I’m disappointed that he once again let his baby mama bully him into doing what she wanted.

Does that woman have some spy app on his phone?