My husband and I are both in our 40s have a very good and loving relationship. For the most part he’s a very helpful and engaged spouse and father. He cannot/will not remember the dates of important milestones.

I plan and organize the kids birthdays months in advance and he participates. I spent the first few years of our marriage sulking about him forgetting my birthday and since then I plan it out myself and let him know what I want as a gift. I remember my in laws and close friends birthdays and greet them on my behalf, leaving him to manage his relationships with them on his own. And I do love him a lot so I plan and celebrate his birthday (I know he’d forget it if I didn’t do so.)

I gave up caring about valentines days long ago. But, to his credit, he is good about remembering and celebrating mother’s day for me. He always forgets our wedding anniversary and after 8 years of planning and having him simply “participate” I left it on him to do something on this one event. He forgot it every year since then. We’ve been married for thirteen years now and we haven’t celebrated our anniversary for the past five years. I’ve made my peace with that.

We had a family gathering this weekend and in a group conversation, someone asked my husband how long we’ve been married. He did this oh I don’t know, wife keeps tracks of these things. And he and his siblings are all like haha typical husband. They ask me how long we’ve been married and I did the same tone of oh I don’t know, who can remember haha. Everybody became a bit awkward and husband looked upset at me. Later, he asked me why I’d say that and I said that we don’t celebrate our anniversary so it’s not at the forefront of my mind. The realization that we haven’t celebrated our anniversary in years came as a surprise to him.

He pointed out that I remember how old our home is, how old our cars are, even how long he’s had his laptop. He doesn’t remember those things, so for me to not remember how long we’ve been married is showing everyone that my marriage is of much lower value to me. I said that instead of making his forgetfulness a point of contention, I chose to be like him and not track the age of our relationship and he should be accepting of that.

I may be the “bad person” since I do remember how long we’ve been married, but I am pretending not to, because if he can’t bother to remember and celebrate then I shouldn’t be expected to either.

Here are what netizens think:

• This man may not remember much, but he does have the ability to buy himself a calendar and use it. Its not your job to care for the both of you.

• Yup. I have all important dates in my phone’s calendar. Even birthdays and anniversaries even if I know when it is. It’s just a reminder for the day of it as I can get days mixed up sometimes.

• I’ve saved my family’s birthdays, events, holidays and appointments on my phone ever since I had one because I know how i am. I tend to be extremely forgetful when it comes to numbers and dates, so putting them down on my phone saves the embarrassment of not remembering and I even have dates on my phone for roughly a week before to make sure I buy presents/make something before the date. It’s not that hard. 

I’m a 26-year-old guy and I’ve worked at a clothing store for the past 7 years. The store mostly sells women’s clothing and it is known as a women’s store.

My GF has never been to the store until yesterday and when she saw how it was almost all women who shopped there she said I needed to find a different job because she isn’t comfortable with me working where there could be a chance that one of the customers flirts with me or something.

I like my job and don’t want to quit especially considering I make a good amount and my boss is nice to me now and nowhere else offers that amount of money with my level of education.

What should I do?

Here are what netizens think:

• She’s being ridiculous. Does she want you to wear a bag over your head as well, so no women look at you?

• Hear me out, if you leave your job, she will continue to pull that kind of shit on you because of her own insecurities. Decide your own power, if you enjoy that job you just stay and that’s the end of it. If she doesn’t like that, she can fuck off. There’s no reason for her to think you’re cheating, and there’s no reason to make this an argument.
• At any job, or while running errands etc, he’s going to see other women. Pretty ridiculous indeed.

• People who are insecure and controlling cannot be appeased. Reduce her anxiety by quitting. Next it will be your time spent with friends under scrutiny. Then any time apart. Before you know it you will be not allowed to enjoy yourself without her in case you realise you have more fun when she is absent. Get out before it gets too complicated.

• No way! She has no right to try and interfere With your money if you haven’t done anything. With her logic both of you should just stay home so no one ever looks at or flirts with either of you. What a ridiculous ask.