My (F29) husband (M32) doesn’t help with household chores even though we both work full time jobs
My husband (M32)and I (F29) both work full time. He works in the morning and I work a 3rd shift at the hospital as a cleaner. He makes more money then me so I’m thinking maybe that’s why he can get away with it. I also help pay some of the bills as well. Which isn’t a problem. But I’m started to get mentally tired of doing all the house chores by myself.
I cook everyday except every other Friday. Which in my case, I’m a better cook and I’m able to cook earlier in the day so that dinner is ready for him. Plus I don’t mind cooking! I wash the dishes before I leave for work at 5:30pm so he doesn’t have to when he gets home from work. I do all the laundry, vacuum, mop, clean the bathroom and everything that needs to be done. They only thing I expect him to do while I go to work at night is give our daughter a bath, feed her and put her to bed. I spend most of the day cleaning and when I’m done I just want to sit for a few hours which I think is fine.
There’s been times where he would get upset because it was a sock on the floor or I left my coffee cup on the table and he’ll tell me “I shouldn’t have to do anything when I get home”. It could be the smallest things. I pick up throughout the day and if you have a child you know how random things just pop up throughout the house. I do everything so when he gets home he can relax and not do anything. But no matter what I do he still nitpicks at things. He looks for things that I didn’t do instead of looking at what I have done. I don’t need a reward but I’m tired of feeling alone in all of this.
I’m just having a hard time understanding that even though I work just as much as him that I’m still doing all of the house chores. I don’t get as much sleep either. I get home at 2am and would have to wake back up around 6am to tend to our child. She goes to school 3 times a week for a few hours which helps me out a lot but I’m still tired throughout the day. I feel guilty when I sit on the couch and then I become overwhelmed because I have so much to do. He offers to help sometimes but he’ll pick something quick and easy to do like wiping the table down.
I have communicated this to him but it never goes anywhere because he thinks I’m just whining