My boyfriend of 3 years still won’t sleep with me. Should I just end it?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and we have never gotten intimate throughout the entire time, despite me always hinting and initiating. We are both in our early 20s.
The first year of our relationship when we were apart, we would talk dirty to each other, and he would say how much he wanted to be with me when we met in person. However, every time one of us would visit the other, he would not be able to “keep it up”. He swore up and down that it wasn’t because of me. He was just nervous. Okay, that’s fine. I was understanding and told him we didn’t need to rush.
After a year, he invited me to move in with him. He seemed excited about it. I decided to go for it because I really love him. After we moved in together, we tried a few times to have PIV. Every time, he still couldn’t get it up.
He started saying it was because he was self-concious about his weight (he’s a bit bigger than me but not much). He also didn’t want to do anything else sexual because he was self-concious. So no touching each other, nothing.
This went on for about 6 months before I tried to break up with him. I said that maybe we just weren’t compatible. He FREAKED out and swore up and down that he loves me, that’d he’d work on it, he’d go to the doctor, he’d lose the weight, etc etc. I love him so much, and our relationship was good otherwise, so I believed him.
Well, we just had our 3 year anniversary, and nothing has changed. He never did any of the things he promised, and we still haven’t even slept together ONCE.
He is now refusing to go to the doctor to get checked. I feel like such an idiot. I tried to go off my birth control because what’s the point? But he acted all hurt and said he wanted me to be on it because “he’s going to lose the weight soon and then we can F.” I just don’t believe him at this point.
I miss f-ing. I want to have biological kids one day, and I don’t want to have to do IVF because he won’t sleep with me. We are basically just really good roommates who kiss, but I love him so much, and it’s hard to move on. Has anyone else been through this? Am I being delusional thinking there’s ANY chance he could come around on this?