Today marks the 4th month since i broke up with my toxic ex and i am still dealing with the aftermath of the emotional damage he left me with. He tore down my self-esteem and i felt so ugly about myself. The best thing that happened post breakup was that i finally plucked up the courage to attend therapy sessions.
As a girl who has been dealing with pcos for years, i have never been fit nor toned no matter how much effort i put into working out during my off days. My ex is very into fit girls and he follows a ton of fitness influencers/local girls on his instagram and likes + saves their pictures. I have communicated to him that i do not feel comfortable about it but eventually when nothing was done on his part, i tried my best to not feel bothered by it.
A year into the relationship, covid hit and i got really busy at work (i am in the healthcare industry). I had even lesser time to workout and i put on a few kgs.
That was when my ex started comparing me with certain local fitness influencers, saying that if i put in more effort into exercising i can look hot like them and become more attractive to him. He even requested me to dress like them.
Of course i felt really hurt by those comments because he should have been aware of my medical condition and my commitment at my workplace.
Furthermore those influencers do not have a fixed work schedule which gives them more freedom and some of them are even fitness instructors which means they are working out while at work!
My self-esteem started spiralling down and this continued on for more than a year. On hindsight i really should have left this loser earlier.
The last straw came when i found out through a friend that he signed up at the gym his favourite influencer was working out at.
The thing is, it was not even near his place and i would not have known if my friend did not tell me when she happened to see him there. I confronted him and he said that he does not see any issue with that because he did not cheat.
By intentionally approaching someone you are attracted to, is that not emotional cheating already? So i asked him whether he would be happy if i became like those girls, dressing skimpily and uploading photos and videos in provocative angles and poses to attract likes, would he be ok with his gf behaving like that online? Why does he worship all these girls solely for their appearances, to the extent of bringing his own girlfriend down? What if they had yucky personalities?
He just kept quiet. It was too much for me to handle at that point of time and we broke things off. He started insulting me and told our mutual friends that i was just being a salty and insecure b1tch. I lost some friends because of that.
So guys, if you want to simp over influencers online, kindly do the entire female population a favour and do not get into a relationship. Never claim to love your girlfriend when all you do is attack her confidence by comparing her with others and making her feel inadequate about herself. The damage is really hard to get over and i wish that no girl would experience what i have been through…
P.S my ex is not a buff guy himself