If you found out your spouse was cheating on you, what would you do?
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in the wake of the recent controversies, i realised that all of them are “healing with their families” which is inconceivable to me.
if i found out that my spouse was unfaithful, there would be a divorce immediately with no exceptions. if there are children involved, that would solidify the decision even further.
i would never want my children to grow up while being influenced by someone who could hurt their own family like that. what does everyone else think about the controversies and what would you do?
Netizens’ comments
- I used to think that things were always black and white. But growing older and hearing more stories of different perspectives, it really depends on who else is involved (kids, usually) and what the situation was and what your spouses attitude is like. Personally, I’m still more skewed towards not forgiving, but guess just wanted to put it out there that circumstances aren’t usually always so clear cut.
- To all the married cheaters, yes after marriage for years, it’s easy for the rs to grow stale, with neither party bothering to ‘ignite the spark’ anymore. But despite this, you have made the decision, you have made the vow, the least you can do is to exercise some discipline and not act like an animal.
To answer the question, no way in hell would I keep the rs. Ill learn to manage the aftermath, but ill get a divorce no matter what. - i have friends who stayed on in their marriages despite spouses cheating. love is a complex thing and not so easy to always walk away. plus, the cheating spouse didn’t not love their partners.
trust is difficult to be rebuilt but it was. the ones who betrayed chose to forgave, didn’t forget, and their spouses chose to practise radical, radical honesty, working on rebuilding the trust.
keyword: chose.
i think there are also different degrees of cheating too and divorce may not be the immediate answer to all of them. you have running a whole different family on the side kind of cheating on one end, and also emotional cheating with no intimacy etc. of course many other types out there. - They all have children. The impact of an immediate divorce on the kids cannot be taken lightly. It’s not at all inconceivable that trying to mend the relationship can at least be attempted for the sake of the family.
That said, healing with their families and an eventual divorce also need not be mutually exclusive events. - Leave and take half of everything. Once a cheater always a cheater. The trust can never be regained once broken.