I’m a university professor and I’ve slept with 3 former students
Like the title says. I didn’t go after them. I was never an instigator. They had each graduated by the time these encounters happened, but I still feel kinda weird about it. I’m in my mid-30s, probably about 10-20 years younger than most of the other professors.
I don’t think I’m much to look at — I’m a short, scrawny nerd — but everyone seems to think I’m the “cool” professor. I’m not flirty or creepy or inappropriate in class. I keep it professional.
The first time it happened was about 2 years ago. A (28F) had graduated the year before, and we kept in touch. I had just moved into a new apartment after leaving my serial cheater wife, and I asked A about babysitting while I went on dates.
She agreed to come over and talk about it, and when she got here, the first thing she did was corner me into a wall and jam her tongue down my throat. I hadn’t given her any indication that that’s what I wanted her there for.
She just did it. Said she’d been wanting to. That turned into a thing that lasted a couple months.
I broke things off with A and started dating women who weren’t students. I was on Tinder a lot. About six months after the deal with A, I matched with B (29F).
She had also graduated the year before, and she had taken a class with me, but I had no idea what her face looked like because it was the pandemic. I had only ever seen her in a mask.
She knew who I was, but I didn’t recognize her. After a couple days of texting she was like “you really don’t remember me from class?” By then we had already agreed to meet up, so I figured why the hell not. That also lasted a couple months.
Fast forward about a year, I’m at a bar with friends. This girl comes in, C (23F), eyeballing me the whole time. I’m not there to meet anyone, I’m literally just drinking and hanging out. She comes up to me and starts hanging on me, telling me she thinks I’m cool and hot and stuff like that, really laying it on.
My friend jumps in, “oh, did you know he’s a professor at the school you just graduated from?” (They knew each other). Guess he was trying to prevent anyone from making poor choices. She goes, “yeah, he was my professor.”
Then she begged to come home with me. I didn’t remember who she was, it had been 4 years since I’d seen her. She came home with me, didn’t see her again after that.
I know a couple other male professors who have been in similar situations. It’s not something that we can really talk about with each other. I don’t think I did anything wrong here, because I’m not actively flirting with current students or hitting on them or trying to pick them up.
It’s just that they’ve thrown themselves at me after graduating. But it still feels kinda weird, like I’ve done something I wasn’t supposed to do, even though everything was completely consensual and no rules were broken. I don’t wanna develop a reputation, I just wanted to get that off my chest.