A woman who got married earlier this year shared her horror story about living with her mother-in-law and warned others about moving in with their in-laws.
Here is the story:
“I just got married earlier this year and decided to move in with my mother-in-law (her husband is not in the picture).
She has retired and owns a 5 room flat. She lives there with my husband (the only son in contact with her). She has 3 other children and all do not keep in contact with her.
5 room flat – more than enough space for all of us. But many things happened that caused us to eventually move out.
1) The master bedroom is empty and is used as a storage room (she has many items that she refused to throw). Before we move in, we asked her if we can use the room and she agreed. However, weeks before our wedding when we were preparing to move in, she refused to move the items in the storeroom. So, she actually expected us to stay in there with all the items she does not use but refuse to throw. I was upset but I have no choice, it’s her home.
2) Her home also does not have an electric kettle. When I bought one, she did not allow me to use it in the kitchen (although it is huge and the countertop has a lot of space). I ended up using in my already cramped room with her things everywhere.
3) When I brought some of my clothes with me to move in, she kept saying I am bringing too many things into her home. Mind you, I didn’t bring too many things since I did not even have a wardrobe (it’s full of her clothes and items that she refuses to move). I only brought 2 duffel bags.
4) She also woke us up daily at 5 am asking us to help her with house chores before we go out for work. My husband said she has never done that before we got married.
There are many other things but these are the ones that I can remember clearly. Throughout this ordeal (which lasted only a few weeks), I did not say anything mean to her or talk back to her at all. In fact, I tried to talk to her nicely and asked her how her day was, prepared food for her. She completely ignored me every time or just glared at me. I just remember crying a lot. She did not even talk to me, she only spoke to my husband. She did glare at him and all, but at least she talked to him.
It has been a few months but it really hurt me. It also affected my marriage negatively. It made me feel like I was better off not being married since I felt very unwelcomed. I felt like nothing when I was living there. I cannot lie but at that point in time, I even felt regret marrying my husband. She was totally normal before we got married FYI.
Finally moved out
Now we have moved out into our own resale home. Whenever I visit (just out of obligation), she is mostly normal and acts as if all of that did not happen. However, I don’t think I can ever forgive her for treating me that way. I am still extremely hurt today. I even have nightmares about it.
I have made it clear to my husband that she is not welcome to stay with us in our home, even if she gets sick and needs extra care. I feel bad but I really cannot forgive her. I wish I can get rid of this pain and hatred I feel towards her.
So.. yes.. pls be cautious about moving in with your in-laws.. you will never know their true colors until you have lived with them on a long term basis (staying overnight doesn’t count!).”
Editor’s note: Very well said.