Is it just me, or has the “main character energy” in this country reached an absolute breaking point? I was at a popular mall in Orchard today—you know the one, the one that smells like expensive perfume and regret—and I genuinely felt like I was navigating an obstacle course designed by people who have never heard of the concept of “spatial awareness.”
The “MRT Door Blockers”
Let’s start with the morning commute. Why is it that the moment the MRT doors open, there is a specific group of people who feel the need to charge in like they’re storming the beaches of Normandy? There are literally yellow arrows on the floor. Yellow. Arrows. They aren’t there for decoration. They are there so you don’t headbutt the auntie trying to carry her groceries out. But no, we have to play a game of human Tetris every single morning because Uncle Tan needs to secure that one empty seat like his life depends on it.
The Escalator Standstill
And don’t even get me started on the escalators. We have a simple, unspoken social contract in Singapore: Stand on the left, walk on the right. It’s not a difficult equation. Yet, every single day, I encounter a group of three teenagers or a couple in their “honeymoon phase” standing side-by-side, effectively creating a human blockade. When you say “Excuse me,” they look at you like you’re the one who just insulted their entire lineage. The sheer audacity to be annoyed that I want to actually move at a pace faster than a tectonic plate is mind-boggling.
The “Chope” Culture Evolution
We’ve gone from tissue packets to umbrellas, and now I’m seeing people “chope” tables with company laptops. In what world is it safe to leave a $2,000 MacBook at a Maxwell Food Centre table while you queue 20 minutes for Tian Tian Chicken Rice? It’s not even about the “trust” in our low crime rate anymore; it’s the sheer arrogance of “I was here first, so this 6-seater table belongs to my single bowl of laksa.”
We have the best airport, the best infrastructure, and some of the highest SES rankings in the world, but our civic-mindedness is basically $0.05.
We complain about the heat, we complain about the COE, and we complain about the government. But maybe, just maybe, if we stopped treating every public space like our own private living room, life in this pressure cooker wouldn’t feel so suffocating.
TL;DR: Please stop walking four-abreast on the pavement and learn how to use a door. We live in a society, not a simulation where you’re the only player.
Edit: To the person who let the lift door close on me while looking me dead in the eye—I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.