Some weeks ago my mom was diagnosed with cancer, it’s not too late but it could’ve been diagnosed earlier, still, radiation and chemotherapy it’s needed and we’re worried about her.
When she got diagnosed, in tears she finally told me something I didn’t known: My Grandma died because of cancer, almost at the same time my aunt did.
I have 5 aunts (6 if I count the one who passed away years ago) and all of them checked themselves, two of them even found some early bumps who without much struggle they got rid off.
The others still needs to check every couple of months, my cousins too. She told me this so I can get checked immediately.
I was (and still am) pissed at her. She decided not to tell me that cancer is something that apparently runs through our family, and waited just because she’s the one suffering it now.
She said she was in negation, and that she never thought it would happen to her since she got checked only ONCE and everything seemed normal.
I got checked and, yes, you guessed it: I have high risk of getting cancer.
One of my cousins also had very high risk of cancer, so she decided to extirpate her bosoms and deal with the problem right away.
I talked with her and she didn’t encouraged me to follow her steps, but I asked, and she answered, and that’s how I ended up deciding to also take mine off for my own health.
My mom surprisingly was very acceptive of my decision, and we both agreed with the pros and cons of the surgery.
Here’s when my bf enters the scene. He was with me the whole process of my stress, from my mom’s diagnosis to my own, and he was with me all the time, reassuring me that he’s with me and he’s own my side so no matter what I want to do, but getting a double mastectomy wasn’t part of deal I guess.
When I told him to say goodbye to my bobas because they’re gonna leave eventually, his face dropped. “Really?” was the one first thing he said.
I explained to him everything, how my cousin also got a mastectomy and how it’s not 100% sure that I’m going to be cancer free, but it’s the best option for me and the one I decided to pick.
He said “Oh… Cool I guess”, he seemed in shock and tried to play it off, but I could feel the shift on his attitude and eventually I felt so uncomfortable I had to leave his house.
This morning I woke up with some screenshots one common friend we have sent me, and said he cannot hide this from me knowing how in the wrong my bf is in.
My bf basically said that he looked up aftermath photos of mastectomies and he’s grossed out by the scars, and how weird and masculine my chest is gonna look like after it.
He said that he loves me and my body, but he’s a bewbs guy, and that the fact that his “Perfect girl” is now gonna lose the best part of her it’s a big turn off for him.
After explaining his stupid reasoning, he also asked my friend on how to bring this up to me without looking like a jerk, but my friend called him out and told him that there’s absolutely no way to explain his reasoning without looking like a dumbass, and my bf decided to suck it up and just not bring it up to me ever, and that eventually he’s gonna find an excuse to break up with me without making it obvious.
I’m devastated. My life it’s literally in danger and his biggest worry is that he’s not gonna be able to touch bewbs again? What?!
My surgery is in five days, I’m nervous and now I’m depressed because the person who supposedly supported my decisions is planning on how to break up with me because I decide to look up for my health.
He’s an idiot, a stupid childish idiot, but still he managed to twist and add an insecurity it wasn’t there. I didn’t mind the operation, I couldn’t care less not having bewbs again, but now all this ideas of scars and blood, and the masculinization of my body is taking a toll on me.
I just wanted to vent here, that’s all. Thanks for reading if you did.