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Friday, December 2, 2022
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WOMAN WARN OTHER WOMEN WHO HAS A GAMBLER BF, “DESTROYS FUTURE”

I used to have a boyfriend who gambles.

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I left him after 2 years as I could no longer see a future with him. And the reason was not just about the gambling but also a collective pattern in his behavior that made me decided to leave him.

He is with friends with people who gamble. His family members also gamble. They moved houses a few times because of loan sharks.

He told me he hated his dad for gambling and making his mum suffer and being forced to work 2,3 jobs to keep the house running. They gamble in hundreds and thousands per session depending on the game. He has a bad temper but has never flared up at me in those 2 years of being together but I have seen him get angry at his friends and family and it was an ugly side of him.

I wouldn’t dare to make him angry. He uses and abuse his weaker friends and sucks up to friends who are more powerful and richer than him. I hated the way he treated service staff. He uses index and middle finger to pass card or cash. Soon I realised his entire family member does that so it’s a learnt behavior.

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I spent hours and hours watching him play. Some days he lose some days he win. He plays with people he hate and also with people he like. Sometimes someone will accuse him of owing them $500 or $1000 when he don’t even remember and he would just pay even when his bank account is left with $50. When he wins he splurge and treats everyone for a meal or drinks. He gambles not only the weekends but also during weekdays after work. Sometimes I pay for meals, dates and transport when he is broke. He has never tried to borrow money from me and I’ve never offered.

One day I just had a revelation. I want out and I started to spend less and less time with him. I got no balls to tell him to his face that I do not want to become his mother and suffer. The week when we broke up he took a while to realise why I left without me saying the truth. He told me he quit gambling but I never believed him.

This happened in my early 20s. 2.5 years is enough of a time for you to decide if your bf is worth sticking around for. From the way you talked about him, I think you know the answer already. Gambling aside, you would not want a gaslighting husband. Good times everyone can be nice. Don’t be blinded. Look at everything as a whole. What matters more is during the hard and bad times, what does he choose to do?

Your future children can’t choose who their father is but you can. Choose wisely.

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