We’ve been together for a little under a year (10 months to be exact). It got serious pretty fast. He was 3 months out of a 4 year relationship before we met. Red flag, I know.

A few days ago, I was rummaging through the glove compartment of his car (while he was inside, driving) for some CD’s and found a crumpled-up pair of panties. I knew they were not mine. To be frank, they were trashy. The first time I opened the compartment he promptly closed it, which I figured was to keep all his from flying out while we were moving. Then I opened it again, and kept rummaging, until I saw them there. I seemed to have done this just as he was saying “Please don’t go through my stuff”. Our mutual friend was also in the car, so I didn’t say anything in the moment. I was shocked. He knew I saw them.

Later that night, I told my friend what had happened in the car and she excused herself so we could talk asap. I asked him for the keys so I could go grab the panties and throw them in his face. He was hesitant to give me the keys, but did. When i went back, they were gone. I looked everywhere. He had moved them.

I confronted him about it but took it all with a grain of salt. He said they were his ex’s and she left them in there after fooling around in his car during quarantine. He would remember they were there from time to time but kept putting off throwing them out, because “memories”. He says he swears they’re in the dumpster now and that he has never cheated on me. But I can’t shake the feeling that he’s lying about something. Could be about how the panties got there, how long ago she left them(cheating), or if they’re even hers. And the most suspicious thing, moving the panties when he already knew I saw them.

Of course, he’s on perfect behavior now. But I don’t know if we can move past this. He’s shown me before that he’s a liar.

What should I do? I am leaning towards leaving him but I could use some advice. I love him, but this hurts so much.

Over glasses of wine a good friend of mine, who I met years ago through my husband, let me know a little “secret” that she and some of their friends had been keeping.

Evidently, after my husband and I slept together for the first time years ago on our third date, he told a few of them, his good friends (some male some female), that he had just had the best s– of his life. (That’s the good part)

These friends of course pried more details out of him about why it was so great, and evidently he told them some things about my body and my moves.

Just friendly banter, I get it. But of course we ended up getting married, and they had those details, and she said it’s all no big deal but sometimes they still tease him about it.

I even had a nickname for a while but that has been phased out now that I’m “official.”

Is this weird? These people are my friends and I feel a bit odd knowing there was this secret thing. But on the other hand it’s kind of silly/funny.

Curious what others think.

Netizen’s comments

You guys only had three dates, he was in a way closer to his friends at the time than he was to you. It happens that people share these kind of details with their friends on this kind of occasion. It was probably a marvellous moment for him and he wanted to share it with his friends.

This seems to be a long time ago and it also seems that he hasn’t shared more recent details since.

It is just an anecdote, don’t overthinking too much. Your husband was happy, he shared his happiness with his friends and now his friends are so close to you that they share that story with you 🙂

Cheating mum

My mum cheated on my dad ever since possibly when i was a baby.

When i was young, i remembered they were extremely close and genuinely thought they were just friends until i grew much older and realised something was amiss. My mum would put down everything even if it means an event that is something dearly to both me and my dad(e.g. a family outing) just to go out with him and leave us hanging after. I’m not close to my mum after i left the house and stayed outside as she abused and slap till i bled. Since then wasn’t really close to her but i would occasionally hear stories from my aunt or my dad about her. There was once my mum was supposed to meet my aunt, but ended up she told my aunt to postpone the meeting to later timing last min just to send the uncle to the hospital. And once she was done, she lied to my aunt saying “oh i have to send to my friend to hospital” . My dad also asked her where she was gg and she said the exact same thing.

The uncle has a family too, with all having prestigious degrees and background. I don’t get why has it be to my mum. And ever since, the uncle seems to be “in love” with my mum. Every morning will meet for jogging at waterfront, take photos and she will post on her instagram(only to delete after cause she afraid of misunderstanding). And the photos are like zero social distancing very close to each other and one photo seemed to be hugging my mum. Two weeks ago my aunt caught my mum and the uncle together in the lift because just so happen they were eating at the same coffee shop. My aunt jokingly said “orh hor u kena caught already hor…” in Chinese and my mum just ignored and didn’t say anything. They ate their meal quickly and left never even say goodbye to my aunt like normally they would. I would name all the incidents if i could have but it’s just too long. Thereafter i have been having sleepless nights thinking about this. I know this is not my problem as this is their adult issue, but this is about my dad too. My dad really treats my mum as a princess, giving in everytime, never had temper and a demure quiet kind who never seeks trouble.

My dad works as a deliveryman with only a basic salary of 700-800( i know it’s very less but he doesn’t want to leave as he stayed in the company very long) and even with commissions is only 1.3-1.4K a month but nonetheless still spoils my mum with her internet shopping and good food. The recent jacky cheung concert was also sponsored by my dad cause my mum wants to go. My mum is a well-to-do person who owns a company of her own, earning a reputable sum of money but always eats my dad money. I don’t know what to do, should I tell my dad about my mum and risk the divorce so he can be happy and i could take care of him? I’m lost…

Recently my boyfriend of 3.5 years has been talking about buying a new car. Not just any car, but an Audi RS3 which costs over $370,000 for the latest model. He used to own a Golf R a few years back but sold that as it was causing financial strain, and he wanted to buy a motorbike instead. After selling his car his financial situation improved greatly and he currently owns an old runaround car, and a motorbike.

Well recently I got in a car accident where my car was written off, so I used it as an opportunity to upgrade. Using my insurance payout and savings I was able to purchase a nice little GTI which I’m thoroughly happy with. I am comfortable financially and the purchase hasn’t created any strain on my lifestyle.

Over the past few weeks my partner has become fixated on the idea of buying the RS3. I am not keen on the idea, as I think it is unnecessary, and he doesn’t have the funds to purchase it outright. I would prefer for him to save his money as we both would like to purchase a house in the next few years and I know a big car loan will affect our borrowing capacity when applying for a mortgage. We are currently renting and I am keen on us buying a house as soon as possible – although with the house prices it may take a while to save up enough of a deposit.

He’s applied for the car loan and been approved, which he’s ecstatic about and I’m very upset about. I am not the only person trying to convince him that he’s making a mistake – his whole family are despairing over this decision he’s made

Unfortunately, he has now been informed that he needs to pay an additional $2.5k upfront as the car must be insured before he takes ownership of the vehicle. Obviously, he has not budgeted for this and has no savings left. He has asked me to loan him the money and I have refused to state that I do not want to assist him to purchase the car which I believe is going to be a huge financial burden on both of our lives.

As angry as I am about the situation I do feel bad for refusing to help him out of his predicament, as I love him and don’t want to see him struggle.

I hold a GCE ‘N’ Level qualification; I know it’s very low. I have been working part-time while studying to support my family and subsequently started a full-time job at a healthcare company for two years after my exams. Following this, I left and worked at other companies. Unfortunately, I faced unfair and unacceptable reasons for termination in some instances.

The primary reason I am writing is to caution others about this particular company. They seem to prefer highly talented individuals who possess extensive knowledge, yet they are willing to offer a low salary. Employees are expected to work for over 10 hours for a mere $50.

Seeking another full-time job, I interviewed at company name redacted. The HR was unavailable when I arrived, and a Chinese lady conducted the interview.

I informed her that I had not sold those gadgets before but was willing to learn. She mentioned they would give me a chance, possibly for a trial period of three days, and if that did not work out, they had another type of shop focused on stock management that I could try. (*Note that all the shops are managed by the same Chinese boss and management.)

On Friday, I began work at Tampines Mall. I arrived promptly at 10:30 am, but the shop was not open yet. I waited until a guy (RH) arrived and opened the shop. He was surprised to see me, stating that no one had informed him that I was coming to work.

The day commenced with RH briefing me about product warranty periods and instructing me to ask him any questions. I started exploring the shop, serving customers, and operating the cashier.

However, RH repeatedly said I was confused and questioned who had introduced me. I mentioned the guy at Hougang Mall, to which RH commented negatively about him, questioning why such a person had been introduced to him.

I explained that it was my first day, and I was willing to learn. I served customers, receiving positive feedback on my attitude and demonstration methods. RH frequently left the shop, instructing me to take care of it in his absence.

I expressed my interest in learning how to apply screen protectors since many customers were asking, but he refused to teach me. Later, he claimed that working with me gave him a headache.

From 10:30 am to 10 pm, I did not take any breaks or rest, except for a restroom visit. I did my best to learn and adapt, serving all customers even though my leg hurt due to previous injuries. Everything went smoothly, but RH continued to show his dislike for me.

At 10 pm, RH handed me $50 and informed me that I need not come back. I was shocked, and he reassured me, stating that Singaporeans can easily find jobs, and this place was not suitable for me.

Without further discussion, he closed the shop and left. I immediately texted HR, inquiring if I did not need to come in the next day. Unfortunately, there was no response. Notably, the HR read my message only when the subsequent incident occurred.

On Saturday, I went to Hougang Mall to find my sister (my sister and my previous workplace are in front of the shop). I shared the situation with her, and she, along with others, found it implausible that I was asked to leave after just one day and offered only $50 for such long hours.

Coincidentally, the manager, YY (later discovered to be married to RH), arrived. My colleagues informed her about my situation, emphasizing that I had worked at her husband’s shop for just one day, and they requested an explanation.

YY’s initial response accused me of bad-mouthing the colleague to her husband, but I clarified that her husband had made those statements, not me. However, she insisted that I had influenced her husband’s words. Seeking an explanation for being asked to leave, I was told that since her husband deemed me unsuitable, there was no need to waste time, and the $50 offered was reasonable.

My colleagues argued that at least a few days should have been given for me to try, especially since I had not done anything wrong. YY claimed that, having worked in sales before, I should not have come to their shop to quarrel with them.

I tried to explain that I only needed an explanation since HR was not responding. YY firmly stated that what they did was right. Accepting the situation, I mentioned that I would seek opinions on Facebook regarding its acceptability.

Back at my sister’s shop, I chatted with them. Ten minutes later, YY called me over, handing me a paper with a number on it, instructing me to call immediately. Surprisingly, it was the same HR number that had not responded earlier. Feeling that it was futile, I did not call, and she insisted that I call immediately. Eventually, my phone rang, but I did not answer the call.

It’s noteworthy that all the individuals I interacted with were not Singaporean. From last year until now, the companies I’ve encountered have had few Singaporeans. This raises questions about our country’s quota rules.

My objective is to find a long-term full-time job. However, those who terminated me without reason often say, “Singaporeans can easily find jobs, don’t worry.” Since when did this become an excuse for arbitrary dismissals and mistreatment?

A woman shared how she divorced her husband because he is a “mummy’s boy”, and that he needs to ask his mother about every decision that he makes.

Here is the story:

“Hi, Recently I walked out of a marriage as my soon-to-be ex-husband is a mummy boy. Every single decision he will check with his mother.

Eg, buying shirts, he will call his mother and discuss this. And wherever he calls his mother, he will go to another end to speak on the phone.

Some of the weekends, when mother and son go out they will ask me to stay over at my parent’s place.

I am glad that now I made this decision of walking away. There wasn’t much communication between us. He is definitely not an ideal husband.

Taking off his pants is also an issue where he needs to ask his mom.

Guys what are the red flags of a mummy’s boy? Please care to share more of your experience.”

Editor’s note: Does his mother choose the outfits that he wears as well?

A little context, my boyfriend is still in BMT and we have been together for a little over 2 years.

[ decided to preface this by saying that I truly think it is an honour to be an NS gf, I’m honoured to get to learn about the ns reality and life through my bf and to be someone’s support system during such a tough period. Not everyone will have the experience of dating an NS guy, so I truly truly view it as an honour to have been given this chance to learn more and to better myself as a partner ]

Before my bf went into NS, I made him a care pack full of stuff from caps to mosquito repellent, KT tape, muscle relaxant patches and much more. I even prepared tons of letters for my bf which are colour coded by how his day went, so that the letters he reads everyday would be more contextualized towards his experience for that day and I think this is a super good gift for all NS gfs to prepare!! Plus I also bought a voice recording card on shopee to record a message for him, so that he can listen to my voice too before he sleeps.

When my bf enlisted, I made sure to be super super supportive. Till this day (3 months+ in), I still fetch him from every single bookout and drop him off for every single book-in, so long as it doesnt clash with my working hours (mon-fri, 9-6), as I’m currently working full time before entering uni. I kid you not, I’m there waiting at the mrt where the bus drops all the NS boys off, every single book-in and book-out that I can. By this point probably my bfs entire platoon recognises me lmao. And every time he books out, I do my best to buy a different drink for him ( diff brands of bbt, boost etc.) before rushing down from my workplace to pick him up from book-out. Girls, you dont know how badly your bf misses civillian food and his favourite bbt. But yeah, presence is key, always show your support for your NS bf every chance you get, I promise it means the world to him!

So what do I do when my boyfriend is busy in NS? Well, I do my research on different things about NS. Mostly I spend time on this NS thread, reading about the experiences of different NS guys and the kind of inside jokes yall have, or whatever complaints yall have about cookhouse food or field camp. In fact I’ve genuinely become insanely interested in NS life. I’ve watched all the mindef playlists (yep even the ones from >10 years ago with the stupid 240p resolution), because I want to better understand what my bf is going through as well as his experience. Tbh I dont understand why NS bfs always complain that their gfs aren’t interested in what they have to say about the army. I literally ask my bf so many questions about the army, to the point he’s sick of talking about it already HAHA. But in all honestly, mindefs youtube is a hugely helpful resource for NS gfs to understand how NS works. I’m so fascinated by the different types of trainings they undergo, how to use the SAR-21 and before this, I never even knew the grenade had a lever! Now I better understand the military rankings and different vocations and all this I’ve learnt from mindefs youtube, without having to ask my bf. And in fact it’s so cool to really see that the NS facilities look like, because we girls will otherwise never be able to relate. Watching the videos gave me such a better picture of how the SOC looks, how the dismantled SAR-21 looks, how the BCCT premises look and so much more. And I’ve learnt so many cool things from asking my bf questions as well! How else would I know there’s such a thing as a tracer bullet or the different shooting positions or the different things you guys carry during FBO. It’s literally so interesting, you can learn the head knowledge about the NS process and go ask your bf for the practical knowledge and experience. I know from a macro-view that guns, grenades, marching and shooting sound incredibly boring, but I promise you it’s not! I never saw myself as someone who would be interested in these things, but boy was I wrong. It’s really fascinating and Im sure your bf will really appreciate you taking your time to deepen your knowledge in what is his everyday reality!

In terms of keeping an NS relationship strong, it takes 2 hands to clap. Ive been so so fortune to have the best bf in the universe because idk how he even makes time to text me everyday during his limited admin time. Not only do I ask about his day, he also puts in the effort to ask about how my work went and we always talk about what we had for lunch. Always communicate with your partner, even on the most mundane of things! I’ve honestly never felt happier in my relationship than now, it is the easiest because Im so touched by how my bf makes time for me out of his busy NS schedule. But dont expect too much, some days your bf will be too exhausted to text. Instead, just be understanding snd wish him goodnight immediately when he expresses exhaustion. You will never be able to understand just how exhausted he is from getting scolded by sergeants all day and having to do intense physical workouts. Just support him and remind him that you’re always there! Don’t be quick to get angry with him, always empathise, his NS life is tougher than you can imagine. Always reassure him that you love him and only him, your loyalty will motivate him through the toughest of trainings!

I was genuinely shocked when I saw NS guys in this thread saying that their gf expects them to pay for both parties on weekend dates. I think it’s horribly insensitive and selfish on a gfs part to expect that. In fact, I do the complete opposite. I’ve asked my bf if he would allow me to pay for our meals whenever we go out, seeing as I know he wants to save as much as he can out of the peanut pay that NS gives. I’ve told my bf that everything is about proportionality, I’m earning more now, due to my full time job, hence I should pay for the dates and his food. However, he didnt want me to fully pay either, since he says my money from work belongs to me. So we’ve decided that whenever we go out, we eat simple and if I decide I want to eat something more expensive that day, I would pay for 80% of the total meal. For dates and outings to movies or places like USS, I’ll pay 100% for both of us. It’s only fair to do so. So ladies please dont expect your bf to pay for you ya, he barely earns enough for himself, be the generous one! I’m sure it’ll relieve his financial burdens too.

And for weekend dates, try to plan chill stuff if you must! Keep in mind that your bf has been walking, marching, jogging, running, swimming, climbing and so much more, all day every day. He’s probably already so exhausted and just wants a break to rest, so do indulge him in that. Try to plan more home dates, just grab snacks or order in food and watch some movies together. Better yet, just take a nap together. If you wanna go out, pick a close mall or one with a direct bus route, so your bf can rest more. Please dont plan full day outings, you dont want to torture him. Also, on weekend dates, be the bigger person and let him choose what to eat most of the time. After all, he only has those 2 bookout days to indulge in civilian food. If you want to eat smth badly but he doesnt like it, just eat it yourself during the weekdays HAHA. He has less freedom than you, so let him enjoy those little moments of freedom and I’m sure he will appreciate you for it.

Remember to let your bf spend time with his family and friends too. Give him bro-time to game, gamble, drink or just catch up with his guy friends too. After all, he’s only human and as much as he loves you, he has a life outside of your relationship as well, so let him enjoy that. Dont cut him off from his family or friends, things in NS are already hard for him as they are.

Andddd words of affirmation! I always remind my bf that I’m very proud of him and that I believe in him, every time he completes an exercise, whether it be a run or a strength training or something else. Hearing that you’re proud of him will really brighten his gruelling days.

All in all, the NS relationship experience really is what you make of it! I live an hour away from my bfs book in/drop off point, while he only lives about 20mins away from it. But some days I will still wake up at 7am and travel all the way down to his house, just to accompany him in the bus for those last 20mins before he books in. Quality time is everything to a man with such limited time, always show him how important he is to you by making sacrifices for him, your little sacrifices will eventually go a long way in his heart. Jiayou to all the NS gfs and bfs out there!!

( just wanted to add that my bf is going for his field camp soon and I’m filled with worry and excitement, I’m so proud of him and I know he will do amazing, I can’t wait to surprise him at his post-fieldcamp bookout and treat him to good food and hear all the stories he’ll have to tell me about his field camp experience!! )

A guy recently vented his frustrations online after failing to find a suitable woman to be his wife. The man claims that he wants a wife that treats him well gives him everything and can serve him like a king.

Here is his story:

I can’t take it any more! Why is it so hard to find a girl who is willing to do the traditional role of a housewife, maintain the house and look after the kids?

I have been working for more than 10 years and had been in several serious relationships. I have also tried dating a few girls for the short term. The only request I have is to find a potential wife is that the girl should be willing and able to maintain a good household and look after the kids. I am not asking her to be a full-time housewife and she can work. Just that she can do everything in the house, I feel like I should be doing nothing at home while she serves me like a king.

If she wants to work she can work in less demanding jobs and those with good work-life balance if she wishes to.

But most of the girls I have dated, especially those with a degree, are pretty career-focused and wanted to do work hard and do well in work. Some wanted a maid to handle the housework if they were to settle down or they wanted to delay having kids etc. Financially wise, I earn above average my peers and my income is enough to support a family even if I am the only one working.

Advertisements

I am driven and ambitious as a guy and on track for a promotion soon, which will further boost the income. I am just finding it very hard to find a girl who is ok with focusing her attention on the household. Do such girls exist in Singapore?

A netizen shared a story about how he owes Ah Long money and was on the run from the loanshark when he bumped into the loanshark that he owed money to.

Here is the story:

“Suay until laosai ah, really.

I borrowed about $10k from an Ah Long and had no money to return, so I was hiding from them.

I was heavily in debt at the time and out of desperation, I went to borrow money from them.

They are really bloodsuckers, the interest rates were sky high and it ballooned until the interest became more than the initial loan.

I had no way of returning the money so I hid from them.

Then one day I was at Geylang visiting some “chickens” at a house.

I was very excited and wanted to destress, but as soon as I walked in, I saw a familiar face.

There he was, the ah long that I owe money to.

He shouted at me and I immediately bolted out and ran for my life, and he was hot on my heels chasing after me.

I ran across traffic and through shophouses and purposely ran through crowded places and eventually I got rid of him.

Suay right?”