I haven’t been with anyone for over a decade.

Context

I am the mother to a beautiful, almost 14 year old girl. My last partner was her dad, who told me he wanted to break off our engagement when I was 6 months pregnant outside the hospital, where I was going to have a check-up.

It wasn’t a shock, and honestly, I wasn’t that heartbroken over it.

I fell pregnant at the end of January 2009. Our last intimate moment was somewhere in March, April, or May. I consider it April as he was at my house over the weekends that year.

When my girl was 2, I went out with a mate and her boyfriend to a club thinking I might want to get back in the game. I ended up making out with a guy she knew. That was my last kiss.

As time went on, I didn’t want to hit the club/bar scene and so the chance of meeting someone slipped away. I don’t go out often and when I do I’m invisible. So it’s fine. I’m used to it.

I don’t have urges much any more.

Okay maybe what I am going to share soon is too much info, but I do get the needs a few days after my period ends but I am able to pretty much switch it off and the feeling goes away. It is literally that easy. I think, I wish I had someone to call and then no I don’t I’m good and the feeling is gone.

I always said I was going to hire a ‘duck’ for my 10 year celibate anniversary but that was just a passing idea and I didn’t really want to do it.

The saddest thing is that my ex is going to be the last man I ever have s- with and it wasn’t even that great. So depressing.

Sorry but I had to get it off my chest. Enjoy your s- lives people before a drought occurs. Someone go and have s- for me lol.

I told my best friend I have feelings for her.

Context

I’ve (20M) been friends with this girl (21F) for about a year and a half now and we’ve grown really close.

Initially we actually met because I asked her out but it developed into a platonic relationship. She very much saw me as a brother figure and wanted to keep it that way.

She was under the impression I had gotten over my feelings for her and I told her I did. In reality those feelings still existed and I was just repressing them because I wanted to be a good friend.

I knew if she found out again things would be over because she explicitly told me how much she values having a friend who isn’t interested in her romantically.

I tried for so long to keep it that way but it made it impossible for me to move on.

Whenever I tried to think about dating other people my feelings for her just made it impossible. I knew there was never a chance of us getting together and to be frank we would never be a good match.

We’re very different people who expect different things from a relationship right now. The guilt kept eating away at me for feeling this way, I truly didn’t want to.

I felt dishonest and ashamed because I felt like one of those guys who is only friends with a girl in hopes of dating her.

Was I like that? Not sure, but I never really had hope that we’d get together.

I felt like I had to do this in order to give myself closure and move on with my life. It seems like that has come at the sacrifice of our friendship and she doesn’t want to continue it anymore.

I feel absolutely terrible.

She was the closest person in my life and I pretty much just ruined it out of the blue for my own sake.

I think it would’ve been more admirable for me to keep it to myself and continue the friendship and learn to move on without sacrificing it.

Discovering my boyfriend’s ex’s birthday suit pictures on his phone

Here is the story

Hey guys, I’m *name redacted* and I have something to share with you all.

So, I’ve been dating this guy Jack (not his real name) for a few months now and things have been going great between us.

We’ve been spending a lot of time together and I really felt like we were getting serious.

Yesterday, Jack left his phone at my place when he went to work, and I decided to be a good girlfriend and charge it up for him.

As I was scrolling through his photos to make sure everything was backed up, I stumbled upon something that made my heart sink – pictures of his ex-girlfriend’s birthday suit pictures.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Jack had promised me that he was over his ex and that he had no contact with her anymore. But here were these pictures of her, completely wearing nothing and in provocative poses.

I felt sick to my stomach and my first instinct was to confront him right away. But then I started to second-guess myself. Maybe there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he still had these photos.

Maybe he had forgotten to delete them or maybe they were from a long time ago.

So, I decided to wait until he got home to talk to him about it. I tried my best to keep calm and not let my emotions get the best of me, but as soon as he walked through the door, I blurted out everything.

He claims he forgotten about the photos

He was shocked and embarrassed and tried to explain that he had forgotten about the photos and that they were from a long time ago. But I just couldn’t get over the fact that he still had them on his phone.

It made me feel like he was still holding onto something from his past.

We had a long and emotional conversation about trust and boundaries, and in the end, we decided to work through it together.

But it’s going to take some time for me to fully trust him again.

So, there you have it.

I wish I hadn’t found those photos, but at least now we can address the issue and hopefully move forward as a stronger couple.

I’m from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I had been living in Kuala Lumpur my entire life, earning about 4000-5000 ringgit a month until I decided to make a change and relocate to Singapore for work.

I was determined to make a better life for myself and my family and I knew that the only way to do that was to try something new.

Instead of 4000-5000 RM, it became 4000-5000 SGD

I began working in Singapore about three years ago and it has been an incredible experience. I’ve been able to earn a much higher salary than I could in Malaysia, about 4000-5000 also but in Singapore dollars and it gave me the opportunity to save more money and provide a better life for my family.

The main thing that has allowed me to come back to Kuala Lumpur and live like a king is the fact that I am earning Singapore dollars. The currency value is much higher in Singapore than it is in Malaysia, and this has allowed me to save up more money in a shorter amount of time.

I am able to use the money I have saved up to purchase nicer things for myself and my family, like a bigger house and nicer car.

It is also close to Malaysia, can come back anytime

Besides the financial benefits, I also enjoy being able to come back to Kuala Lumpur easily as it is an hour away by plane and 5-6 hours by car or bus and thus I do not have to be away from my loved ones for too long.

If I miss Malaysian food, I can just cross over the border to JB

I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the same lifestyle if I hadn’t been earning Singapore dollars and still earning Malaysian Ringgit.

It has enabled me to save more money and come back to KL with more money to spend.

This has allowed me to live like a king and provide a better life for my family.

When I heard my best friend tell his grandmother that he couldn’t spare her ten dollars, I was shocked.

He can spend freely in siam dius, but won’t even spare $10 on his ah ma

Here was a man who would spend hundreds of dollars at the siam dius on many different siam bu, but wouldn’t give his own grandmother a measly ten dollars when she asked for some money.

It was so unfilial of him, and it made me angry.

My friend had always been the life of the party, never hesitating to throw money around. He would buy rounds of drinks for everyone, and was always generous when it came to tipping the siam bu at the siam dius.

It wasn’t uncommon to see him spending hundreds to even thousands of dollars in a single night, just to make sure everyone had a good time and had a girl with them to entertain them.

But when it came to his own grandmother, he was strangely stingy and really just sibei ‘niao’. He would always tell her that he was too busy to visit, or that he didn’t have the money to spare.

I had seen him spend more money on a single night at the pub than he had given his grandmother in the past year.

It made me angry to see him act this way. Here was a man who went out of his way to make sure everyone else was taken care of, but refused to help his own grandmother.

I spoke to him about it before and he just brushed it off as he was not very close with his grandmother and there are people taking care of her.

It was so unfilial, and it made me sad to see.

Exactly 1 year ago, I wrote a confession here. I shared about dating a guy who earned so much less than me, and I had concerns with that. At that time in the comment section, I got bashed a lot.

Anyway I took the feedback, I went ahead and agreed to be his gf. Today, we have broken up for 4 months. The reason for breaking is (again) because he earned too little, and therefore his mindset was too different from mine when it comes to financial goals and spending. I also find it was too hard to feel happy when I had to keep hearing him complaining about paying for dates (to clarify, most of the time we split 50/50, sometimes I treated him but when it was his turn, the complaints came out). On top of this, with a humble financial background also comes very uneducated behaviors (for example, being mean to family members or cruel to animals). Not saying it is the case for all who earns less, just saying it’s a common risk.

Hence, for those girls who feel alright dating down, good for you. I can’t. I’m not demanding to be treated like princess here. Thinking back on how I was bashed and advised to not be materialistic 1 year ago, I just feel bitter. How women are often looked down on even for asking for just a little bit of fairness in relationships.

Recently, I’ve started dating someone who earns more. It feels good that he is classy and willingly picks up the bill most of the time (although I still insist to pay for some to maintain 50/50). So I’m not in for materialism but pointing out the financial capabilities speak something.

Here are what netizens think:

• To justify your action of not about money, then you should try to date someone low in financial but yet lovingly and motivated, and family chemistry is good, to prove us wrong. To be honest, guy who earn low and complaining need to do a lot of self reflection and yet it is a rough journey for him too because he is in the hard mode from the beginning; unlike you, in the easy mode for the beginning somehow. Anyway, I havr to say that you tried. Thanks for giving him a try. Hope this one will bring you happiness and don’t educate your kids too much on seeing financial value as the measurement for their life value.

• u just tama tama met someone who earn less and mean, and someone who earn more and classy. all this is tama2, zui hao it’s so easy la. then everyone just find rich girls and guys jiu hao

• I always tell people and especially my son … there are no free sex. Gotta pay for it in some way, shape or form. Boys should not be dating or get married if you are not at a financial standard

How do deal with such co-worker?

There used to be a group of 10 of us but due to COVID, it’s now just me and my coworker. Our reporting manager is located overseas. This teammate of mine is such a nuisance. Although we are doing the same job scope, I am also handling the reporting work on top of our existing tasks. My co-worker keeps trying to stick his nose into my business and it’s getting very frustrating.

During a meeting with our manager, he volunteered to help me by taking over some of my reporting work to “ease my burden,” even though I didn’t ask for his help. This isn’t the first time he’s offered to take over my work. Eventually, he was given part of the reporting work after changes were made to our reporting procedure.

A few weeks later, he asked if he could take over some of my clients which I found very inappropriate. I told him that I would ask for his help if I needed it. What is wrong with him? I don’t understand why he is always trying so hard to stand out. It’s getting very annoying.

Whenever our manager TEAMS us on the group chat, he responds immediately within seconds. Every single time. Could you let our manager finish her context before replying? During meetings or group chats, he always tries to show his “Can do. Just pass it to me” attitude and sometimes it’s just too much. I’ve never seen such extreme bootlicking.

When I asked my colleague if he was planning to take any time off to clear our annual leave by mid-year, he replied that he would but not consecutively because it would be difficult for me and our manager to handle all his work. *Eyes rolling.

It’s just the two of us now and it’s getting frustrating especially since I’m not the most vocal person in the room. Sometimes it feels like he’s getting all the credit and I’m losing out.

As a girl, if im going out with a hunky and handsome and rich guy, then i will offer to spilt the bill. Coz i need to demonstrate that im good catch.

However if im going out with an average looking guy or average income guy, then i will prefer him to take the bill. Coz they would need to show more sincerity

Im cognizant of the fact that i only have 10-15 years of youth till abt 35 to find a gd mate. It is important for me maximise my gains.

Childcare is expensive, housing is expensive. Everything is expensive. Im not being materialistic, im just being practical

Here are what netizens think:

• When you don’t behave your usual self, it usually sets off alarm bells in the guy’s head already. Guys can tell when a girl is being fake. As for those whom you can fool, then they are definitely not a good catch. Good luck having kids with those guys.

• Lols if your aim is rich and handsome, why bother going out with an average looking / income guy

• man or woman wanna marry a teammate. unbalance relationship(any kind) is goin nowhere. u 一開始就 establish 不對等 alr

• Is this real? Very sad to see that you treat love and marriage like a business deal. Usually you are what you attract. Don’t be surprised when you invest in a guy who only like you for your looks and youth only to have him replace you years later.

• No wonder some people find wanam women to marry

• Average guy kena pay full to “show” his sincerity? Ure in a way telling him to get rich fast to accomdate ur lifestyle. n rich guy u offer to pay half because u want him to know ure a gd catch? Ure practically selling urself to him to make him choose u. He knows that game, he just play along. This is why guys are actually aware of this and wont date twice.