I recently cheated on my wife with a girl who looks exactly like her. It was a moment of weakness, and I’ve been filled with feelings of guilt and regret ever since.

When I first met the girl who looked like my wife, I was immediately taken aback. She had the same long brown hair and small lipsp, the same curves and facial features. It was like looking into a mirror, like seeing my wife in a parallel universe.

I started to think about what it would be like to be with someone who looks like my wife, but isn’t her. It was an exciting thought, and it quickly became an obsession. I started to spend more and more time with this other girl, until eventually we were seeing each other without my wife knowing.

The whole time I was seeing this other girl, I felt like I was living a double life.

I felt guilty about going behind my wife’s back, but I was also feeling a thrill from the forbidden nature of our relationship. It was like I was getting away with something.

The relationship between the other girl and I lasted for a few months, until I eventually realized I was doing more harm than good. I was cheating on my wife, and I was hurting someone who had done nothing wrong. So I ended things with the other girl, and I tried to put the incident behind me.

But even though the relationship is over, I can’t seem to shake the guilt I feel. I’ve been filled with feelings of shame and regret ever since.

I can’t help but wonder if my wife will ever forgive me, and if she’ll be able to trust me again.

Although it’s been over and my wife never found out, I am contemplating to tell her as I feel guilty. Should I do it anot?

This happened on a Saturday night and I just got home. We had been dating for over a year and had been inseparable since. I thought nothing could come between us until I found something out of the ordinary.

I was getting ready in the bedroom when I heard a noise coming from under the bed. I moved the bed aside and saw the person underneath.

It was my girlfriend’s lover. I was shocked, angry, and confused all at once. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

I grabbed him and started to beat him up. I punched him several times in the face and kicked him repeatedly in the stomach. I was so angry that I didn’t even care that he was crying and begging me to stop. I just wanted to hurt him for what he had done.

After a few minutes, I finally stopped and stepped back. I looked at my girlfriend and she was in shock. I was so mad at her that I slapped her in the face.

I shouted at her and asked her why she would do something like this. She just stood there, speechless.

Finally, I told her to get out of my house and never come back. I watched her as she packed her things and left. I felt completely betrayed and hurt. I had trusted her completely and she had broken my trust.

It’s been a few weeks since that night and I’m still trying to process what happened. I still can’t believe that my girlfriend was cheating on me. I’m embarrassed, hurt, and angry all at once.

I’m trying to move on from this, but it’s hard. It’s hard to trust someone again when you’ve been betrayed like that. I’m not sure if I can ever forgive her or if I can ever trust someone again.

All I know is that I won’t be making the same mistake again. I won’t trust someone so easily and I won’t take anyone for granted. This experience has taught me to be more cautious and to not let my guard down.

My advice to anyone going through a similar situation is to take your time. Don’t feel rushed to make a decision.

How come he always finds my g spot but I can’t? Any tips?

So I’m seeing a guy and whenever he uses his fingers on me I can come so good and so quickly, I think he might just hit my g spot perfectly.

And that’s great and all, but I’d love to learn how to make myself come like that too since the ones I give myself take a lot longer.

Problem is that I can’t seem to feel as amazing when I try to use my own finger on myself. I thought maybe my hands are too small, but a toy doesn’t do the job either. It’s better than my fingers, but I can’t come from just that.

Are his fingers maybe just the perfect length? Or is it the angle that’s hard to achieve by yourself? I’d appreciate any advice on how to properly stimulate myself.

Netizens’ comments

1. I have a similar problem because the angle is so hard to get right with your own fingers. My fingers aren’t even that short but I have to put my arm/shoulder in a really awkward position to hit it right and it’s just not comfy. I now use a vibrating plug that I stuff inside me to reach it.
2. In my experience, using your own fingers on yourself doesn’t work that well. Your hands are coming at the situation from the wrong angle and you can’t put the same amount of pressure from that angle. Toys work much better for this.
3. Sometimes it’s not a case of finding it but mentally being in a different place with another person. Even a particular person. I know that’s the case for me.
   When it’s myself I’m more self aware, my heads focusing on other things I should probably be doing, I’m not as relaxed, it’s very much the only thing I’m doing to myself.
   Whereas when someone else has my body I’m more focused on them, on mutual enjoyment, there’s other things we’ll have done/be doing that give sensations to my body I don’t get on my own… it has my focus and I tend to come much easier. For me it’s entirely mental. Could this be the case?

Me (F25) got ghosted again by (M30) why does this keep happening? This has happened multiple times in my life with different guys – so idk if it’s a guy thing or a me issue.

It usually goes like I’ll be seeing a guy casually for a few moths, nothing serious we will just be having fun and sleeping with each other and then after a while they will ghost me when I think in my head things were going good/no issues. Why is this?

It happened to me recently the guy came to my place, we went for drinks, slept together I texted him the next day and then ghosted – we had been hanging out for months – it’s kinda disappointing/sad honestly.

Why is the reason guys will do this after months of seeing each other?

Netizens’ comments

1. First time? Maybe he finally got what he wanted, didn’t think you were a match, or got scared of having to commit to something.
   Who knows but it happens and very common, you’re not the only one. Keep picking yourself up and move onto the next while setting firmer boundaries and express what you want from them.
   • (OP) No we slept with each other a few times!
2. If that is your experience, you are the common denominator. I don’t want to be mean, but it’s not a male thing. It’s something that the men you pick have in common.
   If you’re honest with yourself, you probably saw some red flags and chose to ignore them because they have other qualities you value more. Might be good to evaluate how you go about selecting a partner. Wish you the best.
3. It’s very common, men usually “wham, bang, thank you ma’am” and disappear once they manage to get into your pants.
   You mentioned in another comment that you slept together with him a few more times, so possibly he got tired of you and wanted another woman.

Boss asked me to come before my shift unpaid to set up for work

I’m a receptionist/typist & I start work at 9:30am, I’ve been at this job for a couple months now and have never been late, not even a minute, i’m usually dead on time.

So, today I clock out (again, exactly on time) & my boss says “we need to talk about your time, you’re meant to be on the computer typing at 9:30, not getting in at 9:30, if you’re leaving at 4 then that all adds up.”

She got a phone call and we ended it there and I went home, but what do y’all think?

It says in my contract that my hours of work are 9:30am-4:00pm and I get to work at 9:30am and leave at 4, I feel like she’s essentially having a problem with me working my hours??

Keeping in mind I literally get there and go straight to my desk and turn on the computer, I’m not making a coffee or anything like that, I mean we’re talking like 3 minutes or something here.

She’s basically wanting me to get there unpaid and spend my unpaid time setting up for work fkn ridiculous…

Also to add on – she regularly leaves me by myself at the office by myself so I’m forced to have my unpaid lunch breaks at my desk basically still working if anyone comes in. What do y’all think I should do?

Netizens’ comments

1. Quit, you can do better. Of course find another job first, all I’m saying is if this isn’t your dream job than its probably not worth having to put up with a stupid ass of a boss. There’s always a better job you just gotta keep looking and don’t let yourself settle.
2. My job does the same thing, I am scheduled 9am to 6pm, but I arrive and clock in at 8:55am to get setup, then start working at 9:00am.
   Do not work unpaid.
3. My sister works from 8:30 to 4:30. One time she started shutting down her computer at 4:28. Her section supervisor gave her a hard time about it and told her she couldn’t start the shutdown process until 4:30 since she’s “paid to work until 4:30.” In response, my sister told her supervisor that, if adhering to the time is so important, then she would no longer have her computer up and running by 8:30 since she “doesn’t get paid to start work until 8:30.”
   How did her supervisor even know my sister had started to shut down her computer at 4:28? Well, she had been standing behind my sister’s desk next to the door chitchatting for the last five minutes with another supervisor, both of whom had already closed up their offices waiting for the clock to strike 4:30 so they could be the first ones out the door.

Hi everyone. I’ve been doing a bit of online dating of late and it seems that a lot of women I encounter get a little antsy when I suggest coffee or tea for our first date.

Is this normal? It gets a little demoralising, to be honest.

A lot of them suggest dinner, some insinuate that they want to be treated to a meal at least, others outright say they expect a treat.

My intention is just to see if we get along in real life and I thought a chat over coffee was a good way of doing that (it’s much harder to talk when your mouth is full and I personally dislike having to swallow my food quickly to respond to another person).

Is coffee really such a bad idea for a first date? Should I be open to dinner? Do you have any good date ideas?

Thanks in advance!

Netizens’ comments

1. Good that you have already filtered out those just looking for their free meal ticket.
2. No, if they suggest or insist on dinner or a treat, they are most likely gold diggers.
   It’s perfectly okay to suggest a meetup over coffee first, which is a safe way for both persons to assess and decide if they should proceed further or back out.
   I didn’t encounter much resistance with coffee first dates, so perhaps you’re asking the wrong way or just plain unlucky to have gotten the gold diggers. Either way, keep trying and keep honing the approach till you get the coffee dates. Good luck!
3. “foodie call” is a thing. Don’t fall for it no matter how gorgeous she is.
   These women have a long list of cafes they wanna eat at and you’re just gonna be one of those sponsors.
4. Politely tell them to fk off. Those expecting a treat are just camping for free meals.
5. Here’s a rule for men but in general dating. You pay your own food the other party pay their own. Dw pay then pay your own and walk out
   I’ve heard of girls getting on dating apps solely to get free meals. Legit finding those nice guys losers say some bull and keep leading him on to get more free meals.
6. As someone (F) who used to use dating apps in my mid 20s, I never once requested for free meals lol. Then also, they also quite thickskin hor? For saying outright they are to be treated lol. Like who are they to be treated to a meal sia.
   Though for those who requested dinner (but not requesting to be treated and hopefully is not expecting to be treated), it’s understandable. Because dinner is longer and also shows us your eating preference more than coffee dates.
   So for me, I’ll usually go for 5-15sgd per pax places for first dates and that’s also cause I also use it as a way to subtly jio for first dates by sharing that I feel like trying this place that an article reviewed on etc and whether they wanna try as well hehe.
   But it’s definitely not wrong to go for coffee dates either la. Your preference. For me, technically both is fine but I’m more of a food person than drink? And the topics I can bring about, like “oooo this place not bad but I know of another place lagi better” haha

Laid off, $3 in bank, rent in three days

Got laid off and had major expenses at the same time. Can’t get approved for personal loan and my credit is bad.

I’ve made job hunting a full time job for the past month, including jobs outside my field. Even unskilled food service jobs are either flaky or hyper competitive here.

Primary skillset, software/web development. Been applying to literally hundreds of roles, including generic office admin roles. Also looking for landscaping, barista, etc. type jobs. Even looking into sales roles.

What are my (ethical) options, if any?

Netizens’ comments

1. Might be able to find a temp agency that can get you a labor job and paid same day per day.
2. Call your landlord asap. Don’t wait until the day rent is due. Tell them you’ve had some emergencies and are hoping they can help you out. Don’t demand anything, be humble and ask for their help.
   Try to sell anything you don’t need online. Even stuff like furniture. You can worry about getting replacements after you get back on your feet.
   Keep looking for work obviously. Don’t be afraid to walk into places that are hiring with your resume.
   If you have a ride, something like food delivery might be a quick way to make a few dollars.
   Sorry you’re in this situation, keep grinding and you’ll figure it out.
3. What software experience do you have? Might be able to find a quick contract job on like indeed.com
4. Temp agencies are pretty solid – try looking around for some. That’s how I got into my current company.
5. If you haven’t already look for jobs outside of your area that you can work remotely. They are competitive right now but you may get lucky
6. Don’t just send in paper applications, call the companies directly, email the hiring managers directly, send messages and connection requests to the recruiters via LinkedIn.

My daughter found out I am actually her mom after thinking I am her sister her whole life

I (f29) got pregnant at 16, I wanted to keep and raise my baby so badly but realized both my baby and I deserved better.

So my parents decided to adopt my daughter and raise her as their own considering they were very much more financially stable than me at 16.

I was able to graduate and become financially stable and just make a life for myself.

I now live away from my daughter and parents I visit most weekends and holidays just because I want to see my daughter grow up and know her.

Yesterday was my daughter’s 13th birthday and so I decided to take a few days off of work so I could celebrate with her and spend some extra time with her.

I decided to take her shopping as her birthday present so she could buy what she wants. It went well we had fun.

Afterward, we were in the car and she asked if I had any spare change for ice cream and I told her it was in my purse.

Well, I keep a picture of when my daughter was born and me holding her just as motivation. My daughter found it and was confused asking when did I have a baby.

Then she looked at the back and realized her name was written back there.

Safe to say she freaked out and has not talked to me or my parents since. I honestly feel horrible I know she feels so hurt and confused.

Netizens’ comments

1. Do not distance yourself. Reach out to her like you typically do. If she wants space, then give her that. But don’t be the first one to stop reaching out.
   Ignore the comments who are blaming you for “keeping it a secret”. It’s easy to know exactly what to do at a given moment when you are not currently in that moment.
   Just continue to be there for her.
2. This is a completely natural response, the life she’s grown to understand has just been turned upside down. The best thing to do right now is let her feel what she needs to feel, let her understand and come to terms with what she’s found out, and once she’s had that time and has figured out what she wants to happen, then would be the best time to try and talk to her.
   It’s also important that you don’t blame yourself. You did what was best for both you and your daughter, and that takes a lot of courage for a 16 year old. This time was going to come at some point, it’s just unfortunate that it has happened the way that it has.
   Wishing you both the best.
3. I was in your daughter’s position. I was 10-11 when I found out my sister was actually my bio mom, and my parents were my grandparents. Give her space, its information that is life changing. From my experience, when she does start asking questions, be 100% honest from the start, or as much as you can be to your knowledge. A lot surrounding my adoption was lies and half truths. It’s been almost 20 ye, rs and it took a long time to actually trust people and not feel like I was worthless or a mistake that people were forced to take on. Give her space, be honest when she does start asking questions, and if she’s mad/upset, let her and don’t undervalue her emotions. Good luck.