My father is embarrassed with me for being close friends with girls instead of guys.

Hi I’m a guy who just got lectured by my father for being close friends with girls instead of guys.

So what happened today was, I went out with a group of girls as it was one of my friends birthday and we decided to celebrate and I told my father about it and the second I told him about it, he asked me why there are no other guys…

proceeded on to tell me that other people will talk badly about me if they see me hanging out with girls instead of guys.

I was previously from ite in an all girls course so my friends were all girls.

Even though I’m in poly now and I do talk to guys, but I feel that I can click with girls better as most of the guys that I talk to are either interested in gaming or football, which I am not a fan of.

I am actually quite pissed about it as it is not the first time he’s been saying like this! Idk if I am the one at fault or is it a mental problem of mine

Netizens’ comments

1. There’s nothing wrong with a guy having a social circle consisting of primarily women. I don’t know how you can talk to your dad about this though.
2. That sounds like me but the opposite. Female with lots of male friends.
   Honestly, its just old people mindset. My parents be hella angry whenever i hang with my male friends because im a female. Why i dont have female friends etc etc (i do indeed have female friends).
   I’m an adult now and they still get pissed. So basically, as i grew older, i just dont share with them. If they found out, one ear in one ear out.
3. Loser father. Girls are hotter than guys so of course get girl friends la DUH!
4. Probably old people stereotypical mindset. Girls with lots of guy friends, hang out mostly with guys = tomboy. Guys with lots of girl friends, hang out mostly with girls = agua.
5. Tell him if he harbours hopes of ever becoming a grandfather, then stop complaining

Hi, need some advice. I’m currently renting a common room at $800 on a year contract, so far I’ve only stayed for a month. The place is sort of an old shop-house, which is really huge.

So before I moved in, I asked the landlord if the wifi connectivity is good, she said yes. Handed her $800 deposit and $160 air-con maintenance.

TA was signed on the day I moved in. She ran through with me the house rules, DOs and DON’Ts. Landlord’s personality seemed nice and friendly online.

On the second day, I happened to use one of her Mugs which she hanged on the kitchen wallhooks. Soon later she found out and came knocking onto my door to confront me, asking why I used her mug as she dislike sharing her personal items with strangers due to hygene.

I sincerely apologised and told her that I did not know that I’m not supposed to use the households stuffs as she DIDN’T brief me about it. I washed the cup and returned it to its original place.

30minutes after, to my horror, she threw away both mugs of the same designs in the trash bin. I find it strange because she could’ve given me the mugs instead of wasting it away since I’ve already used it and she no longer wants them.

I also realised it was very difficult to “talk” to her as she doesn’t respond nor give proper response and most of the time she’s in a very “agitated/tense” state.

Sometimes when I see her at home, I would give her a “hello nod” but she would completely ignore / disregard it.

Couple of days back, she confronted me again over toothpaste stain on the basin. I mean I didn’t do it on purpose, as I’m sleepy AF while doing my morning wash up and I might have missed the spot. It’s minor but she made it looked bad.

Not only does living in with her makes me feel pressurised, the wifi on the other hand is tedious. I can’t even play games during my free time to relax, as I’m bombarded with ping spikes and packet loss.

I’m really annoyed by this as gaming helps me cope. Tbh, I don’t think she’s gonna do anything about it as she’s very old fashioned [she’s still using the PS5 look alike router from Singtel, which is like 10 years ago kinda shit] and she’s hard to talk to.

Hence, I’m planning to early terminate the contract and just let her have the deposit and aircon maintenance fee.

However, I’m afraid that she would demand for more fees since I’m terminating the contract early. On the TA it was never mentioned that there will be penalty fees to be paid, but I’m just worried she would charge me. I’m really lost and stressful over this. Please advise/suggest on what I should do. TIA

Being a girl (F27) that’s good between the sheet, how do you find a partner that actually likes it?

I don’t want to come off as arrogant but since I figured out what intercourse was I became fascinated with it. I experimented with my exes.

I watched a lot of videos… if you know what I mean because I wanted to get better at pleasing men. I read a lot and would practice a lot and I’m really adventurous.. during my experiments I never said no to anything.

Anyways at my big age I’ve become very good at blowing.. to the point my partners don’t really last long… and in bed when we are f-ing it doesn’t last long at all…

it’s been years since I’ve seen actually been satisfied in bed myself like I was when I first started sleeping with men..

sometimes I just wanna crawl in a ball and cry because I’ll meet a guy… we start talking and going on dates…, when we do eventually f.. the first time is very fast…

I usually hope that the next time will be better but it never is. They always apologize after… or they see me as a fk machine and not a person.

I dated a guy few months ago and he was great.. wasn’t the best in bed but I really liked him as a person and was willing to eventually teach him how to please me…

Eventually every conversation he would have with me was about the next thing we’d do in bed, or what we did last time or what he wants to try etc etc.. eventually he never really spoke to me about anything except for what we would be doing in bed.

My ex from years back followed me on social media. His gf saw and she ended it, but reached out to me for info… so during a conversation he and I had he only reached out to me because he really wanted fk and that his gf was bad at it.

Now as much as I love hooking up I have no desire for it because what is the point… only way I got exes to last was drinking.

Pooped my pants and caused the whole office to shutdown

My stomach went from being a bit upset to emergency within the span of 2 min. I didn’t make it entirely to the office toilet sadly.

Without going into the details I ended up trying to flush my underwear and socks down the toilet to try to hide the evidence and save myself some embarrassment.

That proved to be a terrible idea and immediately caused the toilet to clog. In the panic I flushed it more and caused it to flood. I got out of there and just went back to my desk pretending nothing happened.

30 min later we get an email that we are to work from home for the rest of the day and that the men’s washroom will be closed pending maintenance.

To summarize. I shit my pants at work, flooded the bathroom badly, and shutdown the office for a day

Update –

1. Yes, I’m royally embarrassed this happened to a grown ass man
2. Flushing underwear down the toilet was a terrible idea. At the time it seemed like the best and fastest solution and I assumed the work toilet was more powerful. In the moment the rubbish bin felt far away.
3. I used the socks as makeshift gloves so they were toast as well
4. If they caught me on camera I’m just going to admit what happened and apologize to the cleaning staff.

Netizens’ comments

1. I figure in the span of our adult years, almost all of us will shit ourselves at least 2 times. I’ve done it once in the car driving to work.
2. Every day for months, someone would crap over the stall. I mean all over. The walls, the toilet, down the front. All over the toilet paper dispenser, the ceiling would get it also. It’s like there a-hole just gave out as they took down their pants. It never failed. I still talk with a few people that work there still. This phenomenon is still going on. Smh
3. So why did you think flushing fabric down a toilet would somehow be easier than just trashing it? Where did you get the idea they would even flush? Lol
4. Note to self: keep an extra pair of pants + underwear just in case this happens

Do Men Ask Women Out Here?

I am a American so forgive me if I am ignorant to any cultural norms. I’m just wonder how people actually meet other people here. I tend to talk to everyone and just have general conversation with strangers. If I see someone I like and the conversation is good , I will directly ask them out for a coffee.

My colleagues told me I was weird for doing it. However, it works for me. Of course, sometimes, I am rejected but its all apart of courtship and at least I had a nice social interaction. I just can’t see using a dating app, it’s just not for me.

I would love to hear your opinions

Netizens’ comments

It’s not so much that men don’t ask women out directly.

It’s more that we don’t talk to strangers much in general. There is a pragmatism-focused “safety shell” Singaporeans tend to keep up by default.

In this context, the local general approach to dating tends to be more presumptuous / implicit in nature.

It’s more like friends that get along in a platonic context that will gradually start doing couple-stuff with / for each other on the assumption that it’s reciprocated. Like going out together (as part of a group) more often, the girl bringing tissue paper and water bottle for the guy, the guy sending the girl home, peeling prawns for one another, etc.

Then one day one of the parties will just initiate hand holding, for instance, to confirm the aforesaid assumption. It’s usually done with plausible deniability, like holding her hands when crossing the road because you’re worried about her safety. When the other party accepts the hand holding (or doesn’t quickly let go when they finish crossing the road), that’s when it finally becomes a romantic relationship proper.

It’s not as upfront and express as your method, so it’s less intimidating to the couple’s safety shell.

From the male perspective, it also strategically slowly eases into the woman’s heart; what might have been a “no” at the start could slowly be turned into a “yes” over time. If you ask them out for coffee at first, you immediately crystalise the “no”. Once it leaves her mouth, the decision becomes express and that would be the end of it.

It does more likely lead to misunderstandings though when there’s only unilateral interest. (E.g. getting rejected while hand holding, and parties never speak again. There goes 4 months of your time peeling prawns!)

It is also why Asian women tend to reject gifts or rides from platonic friends. This is to avoid the implication in para 4 above given the cultural context they were raised in.

It is also why Asian aunties (once they are past dating age / looks) suddenly become so friendly to strangers. They are suddenly not afraid of sending wrong para 4 signals anymore. Hence they can unleash the full extent of their social skills and cultural hospitality without reservation.

Advice on hooking up with older woman

I’m 28(M) and in a fwb with a 41(F). She got divorced recently and has two kids. We started seeing each other and getting physical like two months ago.

This is my first time in a fwb. She wants to F like 4 to 5 times a week, which is great and I’ve no complaints. However, for fwb I’m not sure whether there should be a limit to sleeping together per week? Sometimes we even meet during lunch time to F each other.

Secondly, she moans a lot! Literally screams. I tried kissing her but she is loud. I have a roommate and it worries he might judge me. I’m pretty sure he’s already judging me with sleeping with older woman. Any advice?

Because of the age gap should I let her to be dominant? Also, we both are exclusive to each other in bed and we talked about going raw in the coming weeks and she’s on pill. Is it okay?

Sorry for all the questions, I’m new to this.

Also, after finishing, we cuddle and pillow talk. Sometimes even take showers together. I was thinking about taking her out on dinner. Is that too much? She has spent the night and even weekends at my place but wanted to take her out. Like an appreciation for her sleeping with me.

Netizens’ comments

1. You two are both legal adults who care what your roommate thinks or go to a different place to hook up.
   Hooking up in a fwb schedule is based on what you both agree on. Open communication is the key. I suggest you both have std tests before going raw just to make sure you two are both disease free.
2. Why are you worried about judgment from your roommate? Unless you actually share a room it doesn’t have anything to do with him except for her being loud (which I do understand can cause upset for some people).
   Regarding her being loud, it’s likely that she’s enjoying herself. It is possible to ask her to tone down the noise but she might become self conscious and then enjoy it less.
   As to the question you asked about her being dominant. That’s a personal preference thing. Do you enjoy her taking charge or would you prefer being in charge some of the time? If you’d prefer to be able to take charge at times, talk with her. If it’s that you’re fine with how things are, just let it be.

Boss wouldn’t accept my two week notice and told me to sleep on it.

After 4 years at my current job and some personal problems I decided to put my two weeks in and my job and my boss refused to accept it.

My father was diagnosed with cancer, chemo just started this week and my boss kept pushing for me to stay back. Eventually I handed in my 2 weeks notice.

The absolute truth is I hated the job before the cancer but between both things I’ve been way too stressed out.

Despite telling my boss my feelings the conversation ended with “sleep on it and we’ll talk tomorrow”, 2 hrs later he calls me and asks if I’m willing to meet with hr to discuss leave. I told him we’d talk tomorrow.

Within the last few months multiple other employees have left the job for various reasons and there have been huge changes made recently that a lot of people don’t like.

It’s now 11pm and I’m honestly just upset and riddled with anxiety. This is my first “real” job I’m leaving even though it’s shitty and I’m honestly dreading going in tomorrow.

For those who ask I’m a mechanic and this was the discussion with the service manager.

Is he doing the right thing or just making me feel guilty? I’d also like to add that I’m 23M and this is my first real job since graduation.

Netizens’ comments

1. My take:
   They need you more than you need them. Not only is that a good position for negotiation, it indicates your skills are in short supply. Which makes sense bc good mechanics are impossible to find.
   Tomorrow your employer will say they’ll let you be there for your family, in hopes that you’ll return once things settle down. Accept their offer; it costs you nothing and gives you something to fall back on.
   But! When your family situation stabilizes and you start thinking about returning to work, talk to a couple other shops before returning to your current job. If they want to have a bidding war for your talent, let them.
2. First, I’m sorry about your father; but y’all are going to fight this and come out safely on the other side.
   About the boss: He is trying to do the right thing by offering to talk it through; but if you feel pressured, it is NOT the right thing for you. You are not obligated to talk with him, but perhaps the current trends at your workplace are making him re-think, or maybe he watched Undercover Boss and feels guilty.
   He may be thinking that once your Father wins his chemo battle that you’ll have had some time to breathe, and perhaps you’d be happier in returning somewhere familiar rather than having to add a job search to all of that stress. Finding a new job while going through this with any of my family members is much more than I could handle.
   No matter what, you need to level with him. Tell him what is going wrong, what is holding you back, and get it off your chest…in the best most professional way you can. Give him the opportunity, even if you do ultimately leave, to maybe, hopefully, make it better, even if not for you, at least for others. Make the best decision for your family and yourself.
   Rooting for your dad, best to him.

How to make my private parts smell less like onions? I know everyone has their own smell- mine is very onion-y and always has been.

I’m healthy, wash well, use intimate wash and then wash with a yoni bar in a mesh bag.. one a day, sometimes twice.

My husband goes down on me and is super sensitive to smells and taste. Even if I scrub and he’s on me as soon as I leave the shower, I smell as soon as the going gets dirty or he says I still have the underlying onion smell.

I know it’s normal, it’s me. But have any of you found any wash- literally anything- that I can use to set me at a clean slate in the shower? The stuff I have is obviously not it and I’d like to not torture my husband.

I know you can change your diet- but literally everything has garlic and onions in it so that’d be near impossible.

Thanks to any ideas you all have for me!!

Netizens’ comments

1. Never clean inside with soap. Only a bit of water, but never too deep. You’ll disrupt the bacterial balance and ph and just make eveything go crazy.
   I would go get tested for BV if I were you and then do the treatment if you have it, otherwise just start generally sound hygiene and drinking a lot more water 🙂
   Also the female genital does not smell like nothing. It has different smells depending on what part of your cycle you are on, but generally speaking it should be a bit musky, but not stinky.
   Onion smell is usually what happens when you exercise and wear clothes that don’t let your bits breathe. The bacteria then multiplies and gives you the onion smell.
   Try all cotton underpants during the day and no underwear at night to help eveything air out and keep bacteria from multiplying. That might help too.
2. Taking a daily probiotic has genuinely changed my life. I also switched to unscented soap and laundry detergent as anything with a heavy fragrance actually upset my pH more. Definitely don’t use any ‘intimate’ washes.
3. Drink A LOT of water. Besides hydration probiotics + cranberry extract tablets are probably the most effective. Also stop with the cleaning. Just use a fragrance free ph balanced cleanser externally only.
   Other adjustments that you can try: eating lots of fresh fruit, eliminating dairy, and eating more fish and less red meat.
4. I think your issues are with the intimate wash and yoni bar (whatever that is). You don’t need these things to clean yourself.
   Unscented soap and water with a washcloth to gently clean is fine but the internal stuff does not need cleaning with soap at all, that could mess with your pH balance which could cause certain smells.

I am our single income and just found out my partner has gotten $35k into debt. We’ve been together for nearly 10 years now and have lived together for 5, previously being long distance.

Partway into our relationship, my partner was badly injured and lives with daily pain. This had a pretty major impact on daily life as they can’t remain upright for long periods and were previously in quite a physical line of work.

We moved in together after this point and I made it clear that I would be happy to cover all the finances for at least a year or two so that they could have space to work on their physical and mental health, as well as get situated in the new location and hopefully end up in a good position to find part time work that would supplement my income.

Unfortunately it took longer than expected and then the pandemic hit. Now they have long COVID and can barely make it around the house.

I cover food and daily expenses and don’t even really expect them to be able to handle chores any more. They have no available support from family and their own basic living payments are extremely limited, with a very small amount of money coming in.

I let them manage that themselves as sanity money because God knows it’s rough being stuck in bed as well. I know they don’t want to be in this position either.

I’ve been stressed about money for a while, I had a feeling that there was money I couldn’t account for. Things would arrive in the mail and my partner was spending up on fashion, boardgames, and other luxuries for both of us.

When I confronted them about it, they would tell me not to worry so much as they had it under control, or that we deserve nice things sometimes, or that it was ordered a long time ago when money was a bit less tight.

It would bother me but I didn’t want to make a scene about it and I do occasionally really enjoy having someone spoil me with gifts.

I also know I don’t always have the best perception of money and wasn’t sure if they had managed to put together some savings with their own accounts to splurge occasionally.

Recently I brought it up more directly and laid down that I need better visibility of both our spending habits because I was feeling like I pinch pennies at every corner and I hate feeling this imbalance…

And it came out that actually they’ve just been getting deeper into debt this whole time. I don’t know if they were scared to tell me or just genuinely hadn’t acknowledged it was a problem… And it is way, way more than I was thinking it would be.

I was trying to keep us afloat and put aside some money for a future, and now I’m really struggling to picture one for us.

I’m hoping I can ask for some advice about how to talk to them about this – should I go authoritarian and cut up their card and any hope of some limited financial independence from me? Has anyone tackled something like this in their own lives and has learnings they found invaluable?

Hopefully this is the right info. I’ve never posted here before.