My Husband Died in Front of Me 2 Nights ago

He had a cardiac arrest in the car. I was taking him to the hospital. He thought it was food poisoning or a gallbladder issue. He was only 48.

His birthday is next week. We just got back from a beautiful trip overseas. I am so shattered and heartbroken. I don’t know what to do.

This pain is unbearable. I just want him to come through the door. I want to hug him so tight. We adored each other. I don’t know how to go on.

Netizens’ comments

• I’m sorry for your loss this sounds like a hard situation. I haven’t had anyone close to me die before so I couldn’t imagine. Make sure you take your time to grieve and remember it’s ok to feel your feelings.

Grief is just love in reality it hurts so much because you love that much, and that’s a beautiful thing. It’ll take some time until you feel alright again but eventually, you’ll feel better.

I hope you know your husband doesn’t want you to be sad for the rest of your life. Your emotions grow the more you give to them.

You can give to sadness for a bit because your husband just died. But a little bit more every day give happiness.

Remember the beautiful parts of life, remember what you have rather than don’t have.

My close colleague has been accused of molesting by a woman from another organization, but sharing the same workplace.

A police report was made but my colleague is adamant that he didnt molest her as what she claimed.

Does anyone know whats the usual process that the police will undertake for this kind of case?

Will he need to be detained etc? From what i understand that area has no cctv camera. SO its kind of her words against his. How would the police begin to investigate with so little to work on?

Sincerely appreciate your help.

Here are what netizens think:

• Sorry to hear that you’re in this unfortunately situation. Best advice is to get a good criminal defense lawyer and try to mitigate the situation. Going forward, learn to protect yourself, i.e. don’t be in an enclosed room with another female and keep a distance of at least a chair at all times.

• Hope the bad person is sent to jail (if real then the guy need jail, if fake then the girl need jail)

• It don’t have to be a touch or slap or a grap of a female breasts or crotch to be consider OM. An innocent tap on a female thigh can also constitute to OM. The benefit of doubt is usually given to the female especially if there is an absence of CCTV or other evidence. It will also depends on the victim’s reputation. If she is a normal girl holding a normal job and has no previous convictions like making a false report or giving false information, her words against your friend, is strong. If she is a working lady of the night, the situation will be different and the benefit of the doubt might be given to the Accused. In some certain cases and scenario, OM can be compound and settled out of Court.

• Am female and how can a tap on a female’s thigh be innocent? There are other parts of a woman that someone else can tap. Or just open their mouth and call us…

A few netizens shared some of the horror stories that they faced as teachers when dealing with unruly and self-entitled parents.

The self-entitled one

My friend is a teacher at an atas kindergarten. Because of covid she now stands outside to take the kids temperature before going in.

There’s this woman that drops off her son in a bmw. But won’t come out and open the car door for him. Neither will she let him open it himself.

Because she wants my friend – the teacher, to do it. My friend refused to, and the woman legit sat in her car for 10 minutes until she couldn’t take it anymore. She came out and scolded my friend and complained to the kindergarten. They told her the teachers are not chauffeurs lol

The no-boundaries one

Was a contract teacher in 2012 in a primary school. I’m so glad I did not go into NIE. Anyway it’s a good thing I didn’t because I couldn’t see myself being a teacher.

One parent called my personal number at night asking whether her son needed to bring the textbook the next day. She didn’t want him to carry a heavy bag. I asked how she got hold of my personal number and please don’t call me at night except for emergencies. She proceeded to tell me as a teacher it’s my job to care for the students and especially so for her son because he’s mildly autistic. He deserves more attention than the other students.

This parent was also one annoying one that requests the school hold monthly meetings with the teachers who taught her son for updates on his progress.

The on-the-dot one

I’m working at a Student Care centre in primary schools now. Some self-entitled parents expect their kid to be punctual on the dot (dismissal 3:30pm means to their hands at 3:30pm)

Some text at 3:27pm where the centre phone will be boomed with messages. So they expect their child to fly down within 3 minutes to the gate.

What they don’t know is, when they send the msg, we forward the msg to the class teacher, then the class teacher will send them down.

Sometimes, the class teacher is preoccupied with something, imagine taking a class. If they wan their child to come on the dot, then message early lah pls.

Some parents also cannot wait, 3minutes pass the dismissal timing shouting at us, “why i message already still not OUT YET!!!!!!!”

Omg parents can come late but expect us to get the kid ready on time

My wife had an affair many years ago.  We went through all the drama, stay or go, and worked things out as much as we could.  There were thousands of miles between us and extended time periods.  We had been married a few years and gone through a lot.

I’ve heard most of the details, including some of the physical details.  But I still feel like at times she hasn’t just “come clean” with everything all at once and apologized, though she has more than admitted fault.  The only reason it really bothers me is due to the fact that when interacting on random things, she seems to be up this time of her life quite often, and without realizing it is hurtful to me.  She was living in a place we never lived together, and the affair was with a colleague.  And she’ll bring up working there like it’s nothing. 

We now have a child and I don’t think I will ever tell the child, it’s just hurtful and something they don’t need to know.  And I know my wife doesn’t bring these things up with malice, it’s just a matter of where conversations go.

In the past, it seemed like we never really completely cleared the issue up.  Both of us were guilty of using it when we were angry or arguing, and we never just talked it all the way out.  At one point we did go to some marriage counselling, and when the subject came up my wife put up a wall quickly.  I’m not sure if there was more to the affair than I’ve been told, or if it’s just still embarrassing for her to others aware of it.  I’ve never told anyone else about it, never shamed her with her family, friends, etc.  

So really, I just want it all out so she understands the pain it causes when she brings up the “triggers” for me, in hopes that she will be more considerate about it.  I know enough to know it was an affair, that became physical, then they remained close until she came back to live with me again. 

But my main concern is how to approach it so she knows it’s all just to clear the air and end my “triggers” on the issue.  I’ll be honest, I don’t care if it was more in-depth, intimate, longer, etc than she claimed, I’ve already accepted that as a possibility.  Though she’s never said it out loud, I do think she was in love with the guy, and the physical relationship was very limited. I don’t think this makes her a terrible person, and she did confess when I asked.  She was talking about him quite a bit, to the extent that I honestly think she couldn’t just come out and say it until asked.  

So what would be the best way to approach this? 

I don’t want to upset her over the past, I just want to communicate that I don’t want her to upset me over the past.  I’d especially be interested in hearing from others that used the full confession of events to help them move forward.

In a recent incident at Tampines, a National Parks Board (NParks) contractor faced consequences after a crane-related mishap, raising serious safety concerns among the public.

Heavy load being lifted over moving traffic below

The SG Road Vigilante Facebook group took to social media on 22 Nov, sharing images capturing the alarming scene. The pictures depicted a crane lifting a substantial load over passing cars, prompting immediate safety worries.

In response to the incident, NParks swiftly directed the contractor to cease lifting operations and mandated re-training for the work crew in work safety protocols.

The incident unfolded along Tampines Avenue 10, where a crane was seen maneuvering its load to a group of workers on an overhead bridge.

Concerns were expressed regarding the potential hazards posed to passing cars and even double-decker buses. The admin of the Facebook group emphasized the gravity of the situation, pointing out the imminent danger.

Fined

Mr. Oh Cheow Sheng, Group Director of Streetscape at NParks, confirmed the incident, citing the contractor’s involvement in planting works at the overhead bridge.

NParks, cognizant of the safety lapse, took immediate action by instructing the contractor to halt any further lifting works, prioritizing public safety.

Following thorough investigations, NParks imposed a safety infringement fine on the contractor on 24 Nov, underlining the severity of the situation.

In addition to the fine, the contractor is obligated to send its work crew for re-training on work safety, a crucial step in preventing future safety lapses.

Mr. Oh emphasized NParks’ unwavering commitment to safety, stating that the organization takes all safety-related cases and feedback seriously.

My husband’s crossdressing is the bane of my existence

It makes me sick. All of this started right after we got married. And I do mean RIGHT after. On our honeymoon, he wanted to wear the lingerie I had brought for myself. Then, he shaved his beard and his entire body. He started wearing my clothes. He would only use razors, shaving cream, body lotion, etc that smelled super girly. I was not into this at all, but I wanted to be a good wife so I tried to indulge him. I bought him lots of lingerie and pretended I liked it. I did this to avoid a fight. Now he had started watching adult videos. Pretty soon he no longer wanted to sleep with me. It was always the strap-on or some other weird kinky stuff. We were always kinky before but it never involved crossdressing.

He started tucking and even going out in public in bimbo mode. Our intimacy was extremely emotionally exhausting for me but I did it anyway because I didn’t want a fight. I even brought in an old fling of mine to spend a weekend with us. My husband was dressed up the whole time. I feel sick even remembering this experience, but at the time I just did it on autopilot so my husband would be satisfied. Soon after this, he convinced me to buy him a $600 chastity device. This was sort of fun for me at first. But then he decided he wanted to get it resized. He got one that was about 3 sizes too small. It would take him 40+ mins to get it on because he really had to jam himself in there. It was painful to look at. I was afraid this would cause permanent damage and I begged him to stop. He wouldn’t listen. He wanted to shrink his manhood. This made me incredibly angry, but I bottled it up.

His crossdressing just kept escalating from there. We had an agreement that he would not do anything permanent, and that he had only one hall pass per year. The hall pass thing I had agreed to before we got married, because I already knew he also liked guys and I accepted it. There is one thing a man has that I don’t, so I agreed to let him get that elsewhere once per year. For almost the whole first year of marriage, he was a walking kink. I then found emails between him and a hormone replacement clinic. He was asking them about doing a consultation to go on estrogen. That was the straw that broke the camels back. We had a really long discussion about it, and I told him that if he does this I am gone. The next day he went backpacking to find himself. I was creating an exit plan while he was gone, fully expecting him to come home and tell me that this fetish is more important to him than I am. But actually, he came back a changed man. He wanted to be normal again!

That was almost a year ago, and things have been amazing since then. We’ve even adopted the traditional lifestyle, he works and I stay home. I take care of all the cooking and cleaning. We even do domestic discipline. Things have been so wonderful. It’s been almost a year since he stopped with all that. I’ve never been this happy. I found out we’re having a baby! We were over the moon! And then…

He tells me he wants to start cross dressing again. He said he’ll only do it for “Locktober”. I told him then you must mean next year, not this year because I will be newly postpartum by then and I can’t deal with that in such a vulnerable state, nevermind that I also won’t be feeling up for any intimacy either. He considers this, then says he’ll do it in June this year (I’ll be 6 months then). I try to put it out of my mind, since at this time it was only February. But I’m already thinking of places I can go for that whole month of June so that I don’t have to participate in this crap again. This fetish is absolutely repulsive to me and I don’t think that I can slap on a brave face and suffer through it. Maybe I can for a month, I did it for a year! But I’m thinking it would probably just be easier if I am away somewhere while he’s at home doing that.

We’ve been here before. Either I put on an Oscar worthy performance, and enthusiastically participate in whatever depraved kinky crap he wants to do, or he withholds all love and affection from me until I do. I feel like he’s slipping away and I’m losing him again to this disgusting, life ruining fetish. When he stopped cross dressing last year, I told him that I will not go back to home doing this full time. I can’t. His entire life revolved around this kink. He assured me that he was over it, and no longer found it appealing. That it was a phase. I believed him. And now we’re here. What can I do. Grin and bear it I guess? I feel trapped. I felt trapped before, but now I’m pregnant so I’m REALLY trapped.