Wife treats adult-age sons like pets.

I’m (54M) my (52F)wife of 32 years is treating my adult age sons (26M) and (21M) like they’re pets. After years of trying to get these men to become self sufficient and responsible citizens I’m at my wits end.

Both of my young men live at our home rent-free. They pay nothing for their phones, car insurance or anything toward our monthly bills.

I’ve tried to set up rent and went over monthly expenses and my wife comes to their defense and derails any accountability before I can collect anything.

They have a hard time holding down any jobs because they find issues with everything. They sit in their rooms and play games all day and night because they have no drive or motivation.

My wife says she’s just trying to be a protective mom and doesn’t see anything wrong with this parenting style.

She believes they will just magically mature someday. I’m going crazy because I feel like she’s harming these adult aged men by treating them like small children.

We both got married when we were young and struggled our way through school and had very little support from our own parents.

I don’t understand why she protects them from maturing and becoming self-sufficient. I’m ready to get divorced. I need advice.

my girlfriends poor hygiene is ruining our relationship

I (21F) have been dating my girlfriend (21F) for 6 months. I am really deeply in love with her and really think we could spend the rest of our lives together except for one big problem: how she looks.

I know it sounds so shallow, and the last thing I want is to force her to be something she isn’t or make her feel bad about her appearance but it’s really starting to effect me. I’m embarrassed to be seen with her in front of people I know, and I’ve had some comments made to me already about how she looks and even smells. Mortifying.

To preface, I have always been very concious of my appearance. I am always clean and tidy looking, never unpresentable. Even on my off days I’m somewhat put together. I shower everyday, and don’t generally struggle with acne or body odour. I am not gorgeous or perfect by any means, but I definitely fit the feminine beauty standard. I am mindful of looking nice, and feel best when I put effort into my appearance. I certainly don’t expect everyone to put the same effort into their app arance, but being clean is definitely a must. I have definitely made lots of excuses for my girlfriend because I just love her so much, but I think I need to be honest with myself.

My girlfriend doesn’t shower much. she seems to think she’s still clean after 4 days of not showering when her hair is nearly sticky with grease. She’s a big girl and quite active in her daily life, so I can understand a little sweat. But by my standards, if you’ve worked up a sweat then you need to shower, right? She seems to think she doesn’t smell bad at all and doesn’t wear deodrant, but I’ve never met someone who needs it as badly as she does. She has quite strong body odour, but seems to not be bothered to do anything about it. Even though I’m so attracted to her, I struggle to ignore the smell and it’s definitely a mood killer. I’ve tried to be subtle by gifting her deodorant and perfume, and always complimenting her if she smells good, but she just says she can’t smell it so she doesn’t care and that I’m just being picky.

She struggles also with cystic acne. This would be fine if she didn’t pick at it all the time, even in public. I’ve caught her eating the pus from her zits, she doesn’t even seem to know she’s doing it. A friend of mine even mentioned that she saw her eat her zits, that was her first time meeting my gf so obviously a huge turn off. Undeniably gross. She refuses to do anything about getting her acne treated, despite it taking a toll on herself esteem. I don’t get why she won’t just see a doctor for it when it makes her feel bad about herself.

She tries to do her makeup but that only makes it worse. She never really learned to do makeup in a traditional sense, and instead uses it in a more artistic way. She uses bright colours on her eyes and lips, with nothing for her skin. Despite her best efforts she usually ends up looking clownish. I love how much she enjoys using makeup to express herself, but I’m honestly mortified to go out with her like this. I can hardly take her seriously, my friends don’t seem to get how I find her attractive at all. In particular, she’ll put makeup on when she hasn’t showered and her hair and skin are visibly greasy, which looks unfortunate and ridiculous.

She also isn’t very bothered about her clothes. She is very climate conscious, and thrifts most of her clothes. She likes bright colours and wants pieces that are comfortable for her active lifestyle. Despite the fact she loves to express herself through her colourful clothes, she doesn’t put much to fort into dressing. Her shirts are always crumpled, her pants stained, and she has holes in socks and underwear. Not to mention there’s cat hair all over EVERYTHING. Even though I wouldn’t wear bright colours I love that they make her so happy, and think they really suit her! I don’t expect her to change her aesthetic to match me or any of that shit, I’d just like for her clothes to look like they’ve been washed at some point.

I’ve tried my best to encourage her to be clean. I praise her lots when she showers, I always comment on how fresh she smells or how fluffy and shiny her hair is. I’ll wash her clothes and iron them if i get a chance. I’ll even entice her by inviting her to shower with me. I’ve made it very clear that I’m attracted to her most when she’s fresh and clean, but it’s not enough. She’s barely presentable most days of the week, somuchso that I’m embarrassed to be seen or associated with her.

I feel so guilty about saying any of this but it weighs on me so much. Aside from her hygiene and appearance, she would be my perfect partner. When she does shower and have clean clothes she looks so extremely beautiful and fresh, I’m so attracted to her. But that’s only a minority of the time. I hate that it sounds like I want to change her, but I don’t feel like I’m asking for a lot, I just want to date someone CLEAN. Writing this post makes me upset, I really cherish our relationship but her cleanliness is just ruining it all.

My wife poops in the shower and stomps it down the drain. Not a joke. She recently told me this and I’ve been living with it for weeks now.

She even broke the news to me while laughing about it. “You know what a waffle stomp is?”, she asked me as she laughed and laughed so hard she started crying!

I feel disgusted and betrayed. I can’t even look at her over breakfast anymore before I head off to work and while at work all I can do is wonder to myself, ‘is she doing it right now?’.

Apparently this has been going on for years! Says she uses all the scented candles she obsessively buys online to mask the smell.

I work long hours so plenty of time to cover her shit stink. A few times we’ve had to snake the drain due to a clog.

Now I know why. I’m not sure I can live this life anymore

Netizens’ comments

• She knows that shower pipes aren’t designed for that right??

• I’m assuming you still shower in the same shower as her and I just have to say that you’re braver than an army soldier.

• Goes thru the drain like one of those old play-doh spaghetti makers

My GF just told me about an STD

My gf and I have had unprotected intercourse for about 2 months now and she just told me she’s had herpes for about 10 years. She currently does not have an outbreak, and says she has somewhat managed it.

Do I have a right to be worried and consider my options? I feel like a lot of the advice here would support me staying with her, but this is something I’ve always feared and stayed far from.

Im not promiscuous, and I’ve actually tried hard not to get this. I get it, I should have worn protection. So I’m not here to be scolded or reminded.

Just wondering if it’s reasonable that I’m considering leaving. Lots of worried thoughts about this right now. Is there any way I can get tested if there is no outbreak?

Netizen’s comments

Okay, so two separate issues here – trust, and risk.

I’ve had genital herpes type 2 for almost 20 years, and always advocate for people telling before sex happens. There are loads of people who say they don’t unless a relationship gets serious, but that’s illogical, because if it’s serious, there’s trust.

She should have told you, and I’m sorry she didn’t. You have an absolute right to be angry and upset. She doesn’t get to make the unilateral decision about your health and your body.

Your risk is probably lower than you think it is, if that helps ease your fears. If you are male, and all you do is avoid sex when she has symptoms, there is a 4% chance that you could get this a year, if you have sex 2-3x a week.

I don’t know what “somewhat manages” mean – that’s really vague. Is she on daily suppressive therapy with antivirals? Did you use condoms?

I will say that not only promiscuous people get this, so you should be asking all your partners to test before sex if STIs are a big fear of yours.

You can get a blood test now – make sure it’s a type specific IgG blood test. It can take up to 3 months to show positive, because it looks for antibodies, and those can take time to develop. 70% test positive by 6 weeks.

So I’m just chilling at home. Go on Snapchat see who’s broken up and who’s birthday it is that I couldn’t care less about when I got an add from my cousin.

I knew it was my cousin because her username is literally her exact full name so I added her back and that’s when she sent me some explicit photos of herself 5 minutes later saying “you like?”

I don’t think she realised who she sent that to and so I sent back a photo of my face quoting “our parents are cousins.”

She then realised who I was. And then blocked me. The end.

Our family is messed up and that side of the family have completely disowned me so it wouldn’t shock me if she didn’t remember me.

Plus we haven’t seen each other in about 7 years lol.

Netizens’ comments

• Can’t be worse than this one dude in my school bus who told us of this story where he and the girl that made out found out they’re cousins through a family reunion.
• Print the photos, frame them, then give them to her as a present and say “thought you might want these back”

A video was uploaded on the Facebook page which shows a video that was taken in an HDB flat in Spooner Road where a female spirit could be heard crying.

The flat should be one of the rental flats which is located at Spooner Road and it has been known to many Singaporeans as one of the most haunted estates in Singapore.

Skip to 0:40-0:45 and it’s best if you are using an earpiece.

FULL VIDEO LOADING…

The online realm has been abuzz with eerie whispers and spine-chilling tales since a mysterious video surfaced on a Facebook page. This video, captured in an HDB flat situated in Spooner Road, reveals an unsettling scene where a female spirit’s cries echo through the confines of the rental property. Spooner Road, notorious among Singaporeans as one of the most haunted estates in the country, has once again become the focal point of supernatural discussions.

The Haunted History of Spooner Road

Nestled in the heart of Singapore, Spooner Road carries a history shrouded in paranormal occurrences. With roots dating back decades, the estate has gained a macabre reputation, and the flat in question adds another chapter to its haunted chronicles.

Details of the Facebook Video

The video, capturing the lamentations of a female spirit, has left viewers both intrigued and disturbed. The comments section on the Facebook post reveals a mix of awe, fear, and skepticism. The haunting cries have sparked a digital conversation about the supernatural, drawing attention not only from locals but also from those fascinated by the unexplained.

I’m a newly wed. Met and married my husband after a few years of dating after school. I seldom visit his place for meals during our dating days because both of his parents had been working. They have retired not long ago and my mil started to cook more often and invite us over for meals.

I notice a few times after eating there, I will suffer a serious of bad diarrhoea the next day. I couldn’t go to work and would have to visit a doctor and I would need to take at least a day off because of this.

Other than avoiding raw egg yolks in dishes, I pretty much have a strong stomach and rarely have this happen to me until I start to eat at my mil’s place. I deduced it’s because of my mil’s food hygiene. She don’t allow me or others to touch or help out in her kitchen other than washing up the dishes so the food prep was solely done by her. I notice she chops up cooked meat inside the toilet, with the chopping board on the floor, instead of at the spacious counter top which absolutely disgusts me.

I do not know if this is normal practice for some people as my family doesn’t do this. I mentioned this to my husband each time when I am suffering from extreme stomach pain and he doesn’t think chopping meat inside the toilet was the issue. But he also can’t explain why I LS like crap the next day after having dinner there. I don’t want to be rude but I really don’t wish to continue eating there anymore if this continues. I have tried avoiding the cut cooked meats but I still LS the next day.

What can I do? Help!

This happened just this morning, and I was thinking that maybe I can entertain some people with it!
I rarely post on Reddit, so if I messed up anything, I’m sorry.

A little context before we start this story.
My cat had one of her kidneys removed last Friday, she was experiencing gallstones and said kidney was extremely enlarged, this kidney is currently being examined in a lab as the vets had no idea what was wrong with it.

She has been on meds before and after the surgery and has been recovering well. Spending fairly large amounts of time in my room as its one of her comfort places. She’s a purebred cat and currently 14 years old.

So since yesterday around 8pm my cat was hanging out with me in my room.
She was on my bed so I joined her and we just cuddled and watched movies until roughly midnight when I was very tired and decided to try and sleep.
I shoved most of my clothes off my bed and she wanted to stay which was fine with me, she settled in the right corner of my bed on my feet side and my blanket ended up covering half of her.
Eventually, I fell asleep.

It was 2am.

I woke up the sound of my cat jumping off my bed, and seen the time I decided to let her out my room incase she was hungry or needed to use the toilet.
What I didn’t know was, that she took a huge dump in my bed.

Apparently, while still shooting faeces she jumped off my bed, and when I jumped out of my bed shortly after, I managed to narrowly avoid the brown splatters she left when she jumped off my bed and let her out my room.

I left the lights off, as I am not very fond of light. I had no idea that there was **** everywhere.
When I crawled back in my bed and started to back to sleep I started to smell the surprise gift she left me.
I thought “Ain’t no way she took a dump in my bed”, so I went to sleep just thinking it was a singular crap somewhere, cause that just happens sometimes. And that I’d clean it up in the morning, as I was way too sleepy.

Well, I was wrong.

It was around 9am when my mom came in and woke me up.

Now I am not a morning person at all, it is safe to say I get suicidal urges every day I open my eyes in the morning, and it takes at least an hour for me to properly wake up and get my brain going.
She was talking to me but I didn’t hear anything as I was still half asleep and stretching, so I only heard my muscles, if you understand what I mean.
The only word I picked up was “poop”, and I already knew that so I didn’t think much of it.
At this point I still thought my cat had left a singular dropping somewhere in a corner of my room.

Eventually an hour later (for clarification, I think I became smell blind to it after sleeping with it in my room for apparently 8 hours), I decided to get my ass out of bed, this is when I saw the humongous (now smeared out) brown stain (with clumps still there) in the corner of where my cat had slept.

I jumped out of bed, and yet again narrowly avoided the brown splatters that were there. I looked around and saw another huge assmark close to my closet. Now my cat also has a history of pissing in my closet when she was younger, so I made sure to check she didn’t attempt to wipe her ass on my clothes. Luckily she did not.

But, it gets worse! 😀
At this point in time I thought only my room was hit with her anal explosion, it was not.

When I made my way to the upstairs hallway to have breakfast with my family, I saw another huge brown stamp right out of my door, followed with a huge skid mark towards the stairs.

At this point my heart dropped and I started to half-run down the carpeted stairs.
As you may have guessed, my cat tried to wipe her behind on these as the carpet has quite a rough texture. Three of the steps were brown.
I jumped over them and almost landed in another skid mark in the downstairs hallway.
The downstairs hallway is tiled, but the tiles are filled with all different types of stone (though a smooth surface), so it was almost impossible to see at first. Tippy-toeing like they do in cartoons I tried to avoid the large amount of feces and entered the living room.

It was a massacre.
There were skid marks every where, and I genuinely mean every where.
If I had to describe it in one sentence, I’d say it looked like a Formula 1 race track, with brown skid marks.
It was all over the floor.
Luckily she saved most our furniture, bless her.
The one exception was our coffee table, where my brother’s homework was located, I hope his teacher believes him.

I offered my mom to clean it all up as the culprit is my cat after all.
I got to scrubbing the floors.
The more I scrubbed the more I found, it was in every corner of the living room, one of the marks was even an 180° which was pretty impressive.
We moved the couch as our other cat had thrown up under there earlier, and lo and behold, another huge crapstamp. Even one of the bathrooms wasn’t safe for her excretion missiles.

Unsure if I have mentioned before, but this diarrhoea was liquid.

I have finished cleaning everything and my hands are pretty numb from my violent scrubbing.
I feel pretty guilty, if I only had turned on my lights I would’ve seen what was happening and could have prevented it from spreading through the entire house.

My cat is now sleeping behind my PC as I am writing this.

I guess I could say this really is a new core memory for me.

Just to clarify, we are in no way mad at her and she will not be punished, instead we will be reporting this incident to the vet.