How do you deal with an overly needy gf?

My GF has been pestering me to be with her or game with her all the time.

We used to go on dates and game often because I was jobless.

But I found a job and she seems to still want to keep up the previous gaming lifestyle.

She keeps pestering me to game with her the entire day, making a big deal out of it if i say i am busy.

I had to resort to telling her a white lie that I am busy at work sometimes, just to catch a breather.

To put things in perspective, it is something along the line of gaming before work, gaming during my work breaks, gaming after my work till late at night, gaming the entire day during weekends, gaming with her when she is bored at her relative’s home.

She has depression, and the jobs she was in did not last long, and she is mostly a stay home person, I already do all her chores, go to work to support our living and now i am also expected to entertain her the entire day?

To make it worst, she even invaded my personal gaming space by joining my 5-man team with my kakis, thanks to that, we had to exclude one of us so that she can join my games, even had my bro bitching to me that she is causing our ranking to drop because of her low skill level. I did not tell her this because I do not want to create drama.

What do I do? Sometimes she even resort to coming over to my place during my work at home just to squeeze out every last drop of time i have left, or straight up ask me to game with her when i am offline from the meetings etc

Here are what netizens think:

• Establish boundaries. Tell her your availability and stick to it. Don’t allow unauthorised home visits and don’t eject your teammate because of her. Manage and talk.Most importantly, it was mentioned in passing but it could be the real problem: you said she had depression. it might be worth encouraging her to see a psychiatrist as that could be the root of some of the issues

• Do you think the world has only one girl to be your girlfriend? Even if so, you don’t need this girl in your life. Take care.

• Mobile legend is it? Or pubg? She have to find a job n cut gaming time. If she dont want to then u both are on different path. Talk to her

Been on 3 dates with this man and there’s something very charismatic about him that I can’t describe. He reminded me of the pure, sweet first love I had experienced and ended a couple of years ago with my first love amicably. Since then, I haven’t been able to move on as I always knew he was the one for me, and I thought we could build an amazing life together but circumstances chose to tear us apart.

Recently I heard from a mutual friend that he is expecting to be a father soon. It’s a bittersweet feeling as that could potentially be “us,” but I guess life has its way of teasing you, which is inevitable to bring you to the ultimate one. Despite that, I am happy for him from the bottom of my heart. Being single all these years has made me prioritise and be selective with how I spend my time and who I spend it with, as I enjoy alone time and away from the dramas and negativity.

Going back to him, I felt like he let me see a glimpse of light to the end of the tunnel. You know how when you meet someone for the first time and go, “oh this person does have a purpose in life and doesn’t waste time on things he don’t enjoy or sees value in?” I guess that summarises my encounter with him. I also learned that he’s sporty and humorous, yet chill (lives in the moment vibe). He might be the missing piece I need in my life. Perhaps it could help that our family is acquainted, which makes me feel that extra connection in this relationship.

I am already looking forward to the next date, and also, shoutout to the singles out there: don’t give up. I am sure someday you will meet someone who makes you feel that special connection tho atm I am not sure where this is heading, but I am getting a good feeling out of this.

Is it a common practice now for companies to reveal their remuneration package only after a verbal acceptance from the candidate?

Graduated recently and have been job hunting. Interviewed with a reputable company and the hiring manager called me a day after my interview to let me know that they would like to offer me the role.

However, when I asked if I could review the remuneration before accepting the offer they said it’s not according to their SOPs and can only send it to me after a verbal acceptance.

Remuneration is a very essential factor for me in deciding whether to accept a job offer or not… so i found it very sus but said the company is very well known in the industry? would appreciate advice thanks!

Here are what netizens think:

• I suspect it’s a black shop, better report your interview experience with MOM and check first
• Request an employment contract draft. It must include KETs like your pay rates
• It’s shady AF. But still the choice is still yours if you find the compensation is not something that would work for you.
• The whole package in details may be not. But at least they should tell u what is the base pay, if you have AWS, leave entitlement, etc. This sounds sus af to me
• This is not common practice. They know you are fresh grad not much job hunting experience, trying to play you.
• Not common , usually they tell u the base pay and benefits when they offer. But since its a verbal acceptance u can say u accept on the condition they send the details of job pay and benefits along w the contract for ur review

I have seen many people always say that they want to work in a big company after their university graduation, but they don’t know the bitterness of working in a big company.

Everyone in the big company has always been intrigued and often tells right from wrong.

Only the treacherous and cunning talents can survive in the big company safely. Going down, honest people will soon be eliminated by big companies because those old drivers will try their best to harm newcomers.

For example, put sleeping pills in your water bottle to make you feel uncomfortable after eating and you can’t go to work on time in the next day. Thus,you will be fired by the boss. The famous saying of big companies: If you are strong, I will use any means to drive you away. If you are weak, I will look down on you and I will also drive you away!

I have only worked in a large company for two years and I don’t want to work it anymore.

Therefore, I suggest that you go to small and medium-sized companies to hone after graduation. Please don’t go directly to large companies. You are still very tender, so let yourself understand what I told you that the ugly side of society wonders so you can decide whether you want to work in a large company or not.

I’m back to work in my old bean company.

Currently, I am the general manager of my father’s company. My father tells their employees whoever dares to harm me, my father will expel that person directly or they will be sent to court if the case is serious.

I feel very happy and comfortable because I can go back to my old bean company to help my father work instead of going to a big company to see those scumbags.”

Had a conversation with an older colleague today over lunch.

He is 65, and about to retire by the end of this year. He told us:

“At this age, you’ll realize life actually has got no meaning. Like what’s life?

You wake up, go to work get yelled at by your boss and tolerate colleagues, earn enough to pay bills and support your family, and once or twice a year, you go overseas for a short burst of happiness. You come back and then everything is back to normal.

Some of you are stressed about buying a house, some want to buy a nice car, some of you are stressed about marriage wondering if you have enough money to bring up your kid, and some of you work so so hard till never eat lunch and then fall sick.

You add so much burden and kept adding and adding till you feel heavy every month. And at the end of the day, you realize your entire life was spent chasing something. You add so much burden to yourself that you didn’t get to fully enjoy life. And when you reach 65, it’s too late, your entire life just went by and you have missed it.”

And funny enough, a few of us can already relate to his statements at the age of 25-35.

The mundane way of living has become the default standard. The more we earn, the more we feel burdened. We look forward to our salary, only to see it down by half the very next hour after paying for our expenses and bills.

We work our butts off, chase for that promotion, getting by with minimal hours of sleep. Weekends / off days are literally for you to sleep at home to prepare for the arduous week ahead. Yes, people always argue that we should “not compare and be thankful” or “i just don’t compare lol” but saying that is as easy as saying “bro, it’s okay one” to someone after the passing of his loved ones.

It’s not the same. Ans especially in Singapore when everything is so fast-paced, and people are always challenging and ousting one another, it can truly wear down someone. Recently heard about an ex-schoolmate who ended himself because he felt as tho didn’t do his job well as a father and it made me realize how fragile life truly is.

So folks, what’s the meaning of life to you and how do you find meaning in life?

A netizen shared that he is married and that he and his wife are dating another girl together, in a “male-female-female” relationship.

Here is the story:

“How do I open up to my conservative friends and family about our girlfriend in a polyamorous (MFF) relationship?

My wife and I have been happily married for 4 years. Six months ago, we both found a girl (I’ll refer to her as C) who melted our hearts. We both went on separate dates with C and eventually she moved in with us.

My wife isn’t mentally prepared to have children yet, but C recently got off contraception after a consensus decision.

We never felt a need to talk about our relationship with others, and many of them think we are just close friends, but we realize it has become somewhat pressing that I inform those around me about our relationship.

When we first started dating, I was able to open up about all of the ups and downs to my best (male) friend. But one day, his fiancee audited his texts and told her that she didn’t approve of him talking to me about polyamory – which I thought was quite petty and insecure – and so I lost that pillar of support.

Many of my close friends are in very committed marriages that motivate their normative views of what makes an acceptable family unit. I tried to steer conversations towards this topic a few times, but no one seems to take it seriously.

The most frustrating response is when you can tell that they think it’s some form of infidelity or fetish.

I also tried to gauge my parents’ opinion on this and asked casually if they were OK if I sought a second wife.

But my mother was vehemently against it with all kinds of non sequitur reasoning, such as “You don’t have enough time to take care of both wives.” (I’m usually the one being taken care of!)

This ended in an argument when I pointed out that it was unfair that they didn’t oppose our Muslim family friends for having second wives.

I already had a hard time years ago when I first introduced my wife as they weren’t expecting her to be Caucasian.

And now that my parents have warmed up to my wife and really dote on her, I feel they’ll be even more outraged if they knew I was about to start a family with C.

My wife and I want C to feel co-equal in our relationship and don’t want her to have an awkward introduction to my friends or family.

It’s quite frustrating that everyone is accepting of the relationship in my wife’s and C’s social circles (my wife is American and C is Dutch), but it is only my Singaporean side that comes across as dogmatic and intolerant.”

Editor’s note: Wow, you have a huge appetite.

As the title states, my wife has gained upwards of 30kgs in the last 3 years. Her entire body type has changed completely, and I’m finding it almost impossible to be attracted to he and of course there is almost no “exercise”.

I feel like a complete jerk, and I never want to tell someone how their bodies should look. I still love her, don’t have any intentions of cheating on her, etc. But as hard as I have been trying to embrace and be attracted to her physically as she is now, I can’t seem to do it, and I don’t know what to do anymore.

I keep a healthy calorie count, and am also the one who tends to do most of the cooking. I always try to make health-conscious meals and snacks for her to have. She eats them and seems to enjoy them, but will also always buy or have chocolate, chips, ice cream, etc. that she seems to be eating consistently between and after almost every meal.

I also suggest we work out together when we have time. She’ll sometimes reluctantly agree, but then is very quick to cancel or find a reason not to when the time comes.

She has been experiencing some small indicators of her health declining since the weight gain (back pain, shortness of breath when walking, etc.) that she will always make a point to say obviously has to do with something else. Bringing up the possibility that it could be related to weight is a recipe for an intense argument, and I don’t take that route anymore.

Every once in a while, she’ll say she wants to lose weight, and I say that I will support her in whatever way she would be comfortable with. But every time, after either a week or two, the effort is dropped either because of a holiday, some friend event or birthday party, etc. And then it goes right back to the same way it was.

I’m trying to read as many articles as I can for how I can reframe my mind to change what I can find physically attractive. I try to let go as hard as I can to what my initial physical attraction to her was. But I can’t, and I just find myself increasingly depressed and frustrated.

I’m kind of at the end of my rope here. I would be more than happy to go to a therapist for myself, or maybe a couples councilor if that would be helpful. Though I fear that even bringing it up in a counseling session would start a huge fight.

I simply feel defeated and a bit lost at this point. Any insights into similar circumstances, recommendations for how to approach this, etc. would be so, so appreciated.

Thank you!

So I’ve known this girl in Ho Chi Minh City. I even went to Vietnam and travelled the country with her and now marriage has come up.

So we got married and eventually, I had to help her apply for a Long-term visitor pass to let her stay in Singapore.

But here is the problem, she is telling me that she works in Singapore but she has next to zero qualifications and she has a language barrier.

So I paid for her to go for some English courses but she failed terribly and gave up.

When I married her I already told her that I am not rich and will have trouble feeding her if she decides to be a housewife.

But here comes the bigger problem, I can spend less and make sure I can give her the essentials like food, home and a phone but she wanted more.

Just 3 months into the marriage, she said she wanted to go back to Vietnam to find work to feed her family.

Of course, I did not want that to happen and I took up a 2nd part-time job as a Grab driver to basically to earn more and let her feed her whole kampong in Vietnam.

However, after a few months. This is getting very tiring. Day time I work office, evening time I work Grab, and other Grab drivers will agree that one bad Grab customer can really spoil the whole day. I am even driving Grab on weekends.

She is still not having any intention to upgrade herself and wants me to feed her and her whole damn kampong while she is on the bed all day watching Youtube or something.

I am at a loss and thinking about what to do.

My friends told me about the annulment of marriage but I don’t what to do. Time is ticking as there is like a “1-year rule” for the annulment of marriages.