28F and my fiance is 29M. He has full custody of his 2 daughters and 1 son from his previous relationship. I have been with him for 5 years. His oldest is 10.

When the world crashed and burned, the kids were put into remote learning. Because I was the one with a smaller income, I ended up having to stay home with the kids while he continued working. This year the school decided to stay remote, so I am still home. I worked remotely for a little while but soon was terminated due to the noise the kids made and not having a space away from the chaos. We have not had a break in over 2 years. No one offers to help with the kids. We never have date nights. Nothing. The kids are always here. Their mother is a deadbeat.

She took them for 4 hours the other day, despite having agreed to have them for 3 nights. The kids now hate her. We do too.

Anyways, we got invited out tonight and I’m itching to get out of this house. Our buddy is having a small get-together at his place (5 people, including us). We found out a week ago. Since this point, I have asked my fiance to find a sitter multiple times. I have searched as well. I’ve asked my mom and my gram- both of which cannot. So I told him to ask his mother. He has given every single excuse not to. I need to get out of this house.

After all, I’m the one who is constantly home with the kids and I need a break. I need adult time. Period. So I told him either he finds a sitter or he can stay home with the kids while I go out. In which case he says that I am taking things too far and that im acting like it’s the end of the world.

What are some stories of some of the best bosses you’ve worked under, and what did they do?

We frequently hear stories of bosses from hell. I thought it would be nice to hear the opposite for a change. And also to have examples to emulate when interacting with the workplace juniors.

Netizens’ comments

1. My first boss, a hokkien-speaking vulgarity-spewing guy who killed his own career by making it his mission to be as offensive to as many people as possible. (During a department meeting, he nitpick a presenter slides just because he was bored. The HOD got to step in to ask him to shut up.)
   He saw my potential very early on, took me under his wing and gave me projects to showcase myself. It was saikang but to be fair, he blew my trumpet during ranking. That resulted in my CEP getting improved right from my first year.
   He was also super protective of his team. Being an Ah Beng, it helps when people come complaining to him. He brushes them off but will tell us off behind closed doors. I think this is very important, being sensitive and showing unity.
   Alas, he blew my trumpet too loud. Other HOD took his word and there was a political tussling to get me transferred, I was out of his team after my first year. But he was pivotal in me getting the kind of street cred that I’m enjoyed in that org.
2. Something I can share about! My line manager is a great guy, before he was my superior he was one of the only people I could have a proper conversation with at work and it was not necessarily about the work scope. He seemed to be one of the only people who cared about my wellbeing and me being a naive youngster at my first job, I treated him like a line manager more than my actual line manager at the time who just did not care about me or the things I worked on.
   He’s also very relatable and tells me about things he’s stuck on or things that have stressed him out in the past. I didn’t realise it was so easy to bond over something like that with a colleague because people don’t normally share this kind of thing at work.
   He has never micro managed and respects work life balance. I don’t have to work 9-5 if I can finish my work on time. I obviously will do whatever I can during project time including extra hours if I have to but he has never enforced it.
   During covid I was assigned to help another team by another higher up. This extra team was a nightmare and I was forced into spoon feeding them because they were stressed and needed help and I did not know how to set boundaries.
   After much distress over a 6-9 month period I called my line manager to tell him how much stress I was under and he immediately pulled me off the project.
   He has also defended me when business asked why a piece of work still wasn’t completed but tbf that work was way too big for a single person to work on.
   He has a lot of belief in me and the work I deliver, although I don’t see what he sees in me. Perhaps it is imposter syndrome or maybe he has a clearer idea of what a good employee looks like.
   He wants to assign me to a new big project that is coming up soon, I am very worried about not being able to handle it, but it sure feels good inside knowing that he thinks I’m worthy of working on it and that he respects my opinion.
   One time I overslept and did not login to Teams all morning. I woke up at 11.15am panicking since it was my first time oversleeping.
   He sent me a text message asking if I was OK or if I was on leave because I didn’t inform him that I would be away. Then he reassured me saying it was OK and that everyone has those days.
   There was a rare ocassion where I sneaked out of work during working hours to pick up my friend who came to visit from another country.
   It was a Friday afternoon and I didn’t think anyone would look for me but lo and behold, he came looking for me lol.
   So I was honest and told him I wasn’t at my computer and that I was heading towards the airport to pick someone up and he was super chill about it.
   He called because the company was undergoing a change and because both me and him were going on leave, we needed to wrap something up before a certain date.
   So he gave me a summary of the things I needed to do, then wished me a happy birthday in advance and told me to enjoy myself on my holiday! Felt very guilty that I got caught but I don’t normally slack so I think he trusted that I wasn’t going to take the piss.
   He always provides assistance when I get stuck on work. He is a busy guy but always helps out within an hour or two.
   I asked how to get promoted and he told me what the process involved then wrote up a huge 3-4 page essay of everything I had worked on since going under his wing.
   When I think about it now, I’m surprised he remembers everything I’ve done to this point or maybe it’s because he had a plan laid out for me to work on x y z lol.
   Unfortunately I didn’t get the promotion but I do trust him when he says that he fought for me to get promoted and that he will try and get me a bigger bonus this year.
   I’m really glad I got this chance to write about him. Honestly I’m grateful I got to work with him after some not so great managers.
   He is amazing and I don’t think I will chance upon anyone else that is so good at what they do and also at managing!
   If I ever become a manager, I would like to be like him but unfortunately my personality is not so chill lol. I have plans to leave the company within a few months and I feel so much guilt. He has been telling me about long term plans for our team and the project coming up and all I can do is nod and try to wrap things up nicely before I go so that he doesn’t have a hard time.
   I never thought I would ever say this but I really wanted to be a good underling for him because he was so nice. I thought that nice people would get taken advantage of but I’m here trying to return the favour so 🤷🏻
3. My ex-manager of 5 years made all the difference in my career. She believed in me when i didnt. Gave me many many opportunities beyond my scope so that, as she says – i get to shine.
   She gave me all the autonomy at work and yet was extremely patient when i needed help. Every appraisal she would fight for a promotion or as high a pay raise as she could. On my last day, we both cried like we’re at a funeral.
   She is the best boss i ever had and i hope to be someone like that someday
4. When I was younger I worked F&B. It was a small, family owned restaurant. Got the job through one of my mother’s friends and was working while waiting for school.
   At the time, my grandmother was rather sick and had been in hospital for a while already. She was the one who brought me up (parents both worked) so it affected me quite badly.
   One day I got a message from my mum during a shift saying that my grandma’s condition was worsening. She told me to go to the hosp. straight after work, which I agreed.
   Obviously I was quite affected and was showing it. The boss saw me and asked what had happened. I told her and she immediately told me to go down to the hospital ASAP. I honestly didn’t want to (this was during the lunch time so the restaurant was quite busy) but she insisted.
   Because of her, I got to spend those last few hours with my grandma. Meant a lot to me.