I need some advice.

At age 37 my bf is only at the executive level. he earns around $4500 a month. I expect him to earn around $15k a month for a director-level position. At his age, he should be a GM/Director by now but he is just a lowly legal counsel with low pay working for an SME business with little to no benefits.

Should I leave him? Should I look for something better for myself? I am a 23-year-old local Chinese. And I still feel that I have a future unlike him. I don’t want to waste other opportunities for other men to provide me a better life. FYI he took a year just save up for a Gucci Bag. How pathetic is that?

We have been together for 5 years and I had not seen him get a promotion or increment since then. Girls and Guys please help. my BF is a local guy Chinese

Here are what netizens think:

• Leave him, but for his sake.

• Ok your post made me feel blessed that I am not rich, or else I will attract a gold digger. Thts real bad luck. You want an advice? Sure. For a materislic girl like you. It’s better you stay single forever. Don’t ruin a guy’s life, no matter how good or bad he is. Don’t tarnish our local girl’s reputation too. Later all men run away from those whom are singles. And yes please leave him, ASAP too. You want Gucci or branded bags? Buy yourself lah. You got a job and money mah.

• Why so materialistic and weighing relationship on monetary aspect. No wonder a few men that I know say that they are intimidated by these type of women. Leave him please so that he can find someone genuine who is kind, encouraging, caring and does not value relationship based on money!

• If ppl earn 15k a month, he definitely know how to calculate ROI. Invest in u is a depreciation coz u will start to grow old, out of shape n etc, therefore will need more n more money maintaining each year while investing in property/stock is much better option for a better ROI. So stop wasting ur time n look for another. Oh ya, leave ur current bf, he deserve better

• I think you should totally leave him! He is not suitable for you. He does not deserve you. In fact, he deserve way better! He deserve someone who is worthy of his love! And he deserve someone who can think and be better for him. If all u want is Gucci bag and LV, Prada, pls leave him. I’m sure he has other girls waiting in line to shower him with the love he deserve.

Is it ever appropriate to get in touch with an ex again?

My ex and I have been broken up for 10 yrs and we’ve got our own lives now. I’m happily married with 1 child and I assume he’s happy too.

Our rs wasn’t a good one, there was alot of lying and I couldn’t get over the pain. In turn, i became toxic too. I couldn’t forgive him for what he did but we ended it amicably.

I carried on with life but hated him for a few years. I don’t know if I got proper closure then but now, when I think about what happened, I don’t get angry anymore.

On some level, I laugh at it and I’m glad it happened. I’m glad he lied and hurt me because it taught me many life lessons that I’ve brought into my marriage.

It showed me exactly what I didn’t want and now I’m in an incredible marriage because of these lessons.

Now I recently stumbled upon his Facebook and it got me wondering if I should message him to catch up on life. I’d like to thank him for the rs and not only that, but I’d also like to apologise to him, for being toxic as well.

Our rs wasn’t meant to be forever, but it was what I needed at that time and I’m forever grateful for it.

So, is it appropriate for me to contact my ex again? I will also let my husband know about this but I just want to get feel of what what most people think.

Netizens’ comments

1. Don’t meet him to show off or spite him like “oh thank u for showing me what I don’t want so my marriage is incredible now”. That will be super uncalled for and unnecessary for something 10 years ago. I don’t think there’s a need to meet.
2. Don’t play with fire. Also don’t put your husband in a difficult position. He may agree out of concern that you may get angry. Just forget your past episode and move on. You have nothing to gain by re-establishing the contact. Looks like you still have feeling for him.
3. For what? If it’s genuine gratitude, you don’t have to reach out to him. If you truly think your experience with him has helped you. There’s no need to reach out. What you want is validation from him. Please identify your motives.

I feel like I got scammed today by a medical clinic and felt rather down after thinking about it. So basically two weeks ago, I went to stitch up a small wound on my knee which cost me around 2000 dollars.

Then today, I went back to the same clinic and removed the stitches which cost more than 100 dollars. Additionally, the doctor gave me a bandage to cover the wound which cost 50 dollars.

He also gave botox injection in the wound which he said was supposed to heal faster but wasnt mentioned earlier?

Just wanted to understand who have a similar experience where just stitching and unstitching a wound can cost up to a few thousand dollars?

And why does the bandage cost 50 dollars when it is just wrapping it on the wound? Did I really got scammed or is medical bills really so expensive now?

Netizens’ comments

1. Did u went private clinic? They give botox? Don’t seems to be a normal clinic but more for cosmetic surgery. If I had a cut and not that serious, most probably I will just buy some elastic bandage and gauze and do it myself at less than $5.
2. U just got scammed. A bandage cost less than $2 and u paid $50 for it. Omg. U must be damn rich.
3. i had a small cut at my knee area due to falls. i paid 2.3 at ane (mt alvernia) and subsequent follow ups are almost $200 each. total damage was ~$4000
4. My boy had a cut n stitch by a professional in mt alvernia
   I paid 1500 at ane
   But subsequent remove thread n etc r free
5. Why don’t you just go to polyclinic(s)? polyclinic(s) will give you referral letter to hospital for specialist and much cheaper than private clinics (for Singaporeans and PR) And also there have subsidise and medical social service) if you need help.

I’m starting to find my friend selfish and self centered. I used to be able to match her timings to meet until I changed to a regular 9to5 job.

She gets annoyed when I suggest to meet for a weekend breakfast or lunch instead of dinner because she doesn’t wake up till 2,3pm.

She would meet me in full make up even when we go to a neighborhood mall. And she’s always late. Sometimes an hour late even when she live 10 mins walk away from where we are meeting.

I have night classes and exercise classes to go to so I cannot accommodate meeting her at night anymore. She works odd hours, irregular days and she likes to stay up till late, sometimes till morning, even when she’s not working.

I know she’s not a day person but I don’t understand why can’t she accommodate once or twice when she wants to meet?

When we meet she would order too much food, take a bit from each plate and I have to try to finish the rest as I don’t like to waste food.

Moreover we go dutch each time as I don’t want to be calculative with her. I’m starting to find that we have more and more different views in life as we get older. She’s still spending like a teenager at age 30.

I’m seeing a guy for a few months and she’s been very judgemental. She thinks I should pick someone with a higher status or higher paying job.

The first thing she asked me about my bf is what does his parents do and what type of housing he stay. I still can’t forget the way she sneer when I said his parents owns a food stall. I used to be able to ignore and put my foot down but her behavior is starting to wear me down.

I started to meet her less as I spend more time with my bf. She noticed and confronted me. She broke down and claim she lost me as a friend the moment I got a bf.

I don’t understand her. I’m sure she will also mia if she’s not single. She don’t even want to try to get to know my bf and straight away look down on him. Of course I will give our friendship space since she is reacting this way.

Am I in the wrong for choosing to spend more time on my bf and other friends? Sometimes she make me feel like I owe her a friendship for the years that we’ve been friends.

10 years of friendship is not easy to maintain and I’m glad to have her but she’s really starting to wear me down and I’m starting to notice she has not grown after all this time.

No desire to self improve, no desire to save for the future, only care about status, only care about looking rich. Hate women who are younger than her.

Complain about being fat but does nothing to lose weight. Complain about aging but does nothing to take care of herself. Never self reflect why she’s still single and only end up having short flings. She never rejects when a man shows interest.

I’ve talked to her about this and find it alarming she doesn’t know she has a choice to reject. So far none of her relationships lasted more than 2 months. Isn’t it a sign that she has problems identifying red flags?

I don’t know how to help her anymore.

We have been together for 25 months and all we do when we meet every week is eat, netflix, be intimate, and sleep.

We dont talk. I ask u about work and all u say is “busy” because either u dont think I am smart enough to understand your work or u just dont like talking about work.

U dont ask me about my work and I will tell u about mine in order to fill in the silence.

When I asked why u dont share with me about your work, U said ”man in general dont like to talk about their problems the way a woman does” , then what do we talk about? Seriously what do couples talk about?

U dont like talking about your work because u say it is a source of stress and u only want to talk about stuff that u feel happy talking about.

But the thing is, we dont talk. Period. All we do is eat, netflix, be intimate and sleep. And we dont even get to watch finish the netflix movie because we will be intimate and fall asleep during the movie.

We used to go for movies dates until I started going to your place and it has been netflix and chill ever since. I dont even know whether to call our weekly meetups, dates or just hangouts. The former is romantic, the latter isnt.

I dont know what our future holds because we rarely talk about our future. We banter about how cute our kids will be and that’s it.

Are we so comfortable with each other that we no longer see the need to talk to each other?

We barely message during the week because you’re so busy with work during the day, which I totally understand, but we also dont talk after work, because you’re probably too busy doing your own things , which I dont know what and I dont know if I should ask maybe hopefully studying for your part time studies, but I think mainly because both of us dont know what to talk about.

I guess its a good thing that we dont talk on the phone like normal couples do, because there will just be awkward silence.

Seriously what do couples talk about??????????? I am feeling almost bored emotionally, and disconnected, but I am not allowed to tell u that, because u will get angry with me and say I am not being understanding and supportive of your busy work and part time studies.

But thats not the issue. We dont even talk f2f. All we do is netflix and chill.

Generally, I find that Malaysian guys seems to be of better calibre than our local ones.

Firstly, they are hardworking. Most of these guys who I know dont mind working overtime or help to cover the duties of those who are on leave.

Most of the time, they are the last to leave the workplace based on my observation. On the other hand, the locals are usually the first to zao, even before 6pm.

Secondly, even for those who do not have the opportunity for higher education and end up doing sales in shopping malls, they are usually quite friendly and polite to customers. They understand basic etiquette, unlike some local staff, full of snobbish attitude.

Moreover, they seem to be better looking even without going to the gym, compared to the local ones. They know how to dress up, work around a problem and don’t scream at cockroaches.

Figure-wise, they are more masculine and buff, hence are suitable for local girls. Most of the local ones I know do not know how to take good care of their body and have a high BMI. They may be relatively taller, but the horizontal aspect remains questionable…

Could diet and culture play an important role in explaining this big discrepancy?

Netizens’ comments

1. I have to admit that Msians are indeed more down to earth, more hardworking based on observation on my colleagues. That being said, they are here to work in foreign territory so not sure if its genuine or behavioural changes due to circumstances. Anyway im glad that they are good.
2. The solution very simple. Migrate to Malaysia and give up Singapore citizenship. Don’t give BS want to retain citizenship. You will have access to all the Malaysian guys. I am sure you will be top favourite. Good luck.
3. Not downplaying people who work hard but some of them work hard cause they want to earn as much SGD as possible which is of higher value in Malaysia.

Witnessed a Father Repeatedly Hit & Pinch His Child Due to Homework Matters in a Library

Was in a library when I saw a mainland Chinese father start to get quite rough with his daughter presumably because of her poor performance in her homework (don’t know exactly what).

He would pinch her in a hard fashion, and even punched her in the arm (though it was controlled, but there was still hurt behind it).

There were about 7 instances or so in the 10 minutes I was there. He was a huge guy with wild movements and it was clear that the girl was afraid.

I wasn’t really sure what to do, unsure if it was my business to speak out as I felt it was a borderline case with a certain degree of ambiguity, and also worried that the young girl might face extra punishment if I did.

I’ve covertly recorded their interaction and recorded 2 instances of the ill treatment, but it these instances were very much milder as compared to the rest.

Also no one else in the library seemed to notice this happening but I did as it was directly in my line of sight.

What should I’ve done? Perhaps I could’ve let the father know that such form of punishment is unproductive politely, or even make up a story on how I used to be hit by my parents myself, until one day I took a glass cup and smashed it in my father’s head while he was asleep, just to scare him in a friendly, well-meaning manner?

I’m also planning to head back to this library for the next few days (or weeks) to see if they return and observe if further action needs to be taken.

Netizens’ comments

1. I know the type. If you try to speak up and stop him, he’s just going to take it out on her more at home. Unfortunately that’s just how it is.
   • Yup, all he’s going to learn is to keep his pinching and hitting out of sight of strangers. All you’ll do is buy her 30 minutes of peace, and then when they are home, he’ll hit her more because she “made him lose face” in public.
2. i once saw a father bring his 2 daughters out to buy canes. they had bought them and were at the hawker centre waiting for food. the girl was hitting her leg with the cane and the father seemed angry.
3. You can alert a Family Service Center but that’s really as far as you should go. Don’t get personally involved in it.
4. The other day I saw a school kid kneeling on the floor and repeatedly bowing and crying “I’m sorry father” to his dad in public, behind a bus stop.
   A part of me wanted to step in and intervene because no kid in the world should ever do that, not to your own dad.
5. You can’t angrily confront this kind of guy, or it will escalate. If I’m in a good mental state, I might go up to them with a smile and comment something nice like “wow, your daughter is so hardworking! What a good girl.”
   Depending on his reaction I might offer to buy her some bubble tea to encourage her. I might start chatting with the dad and give him some encouraging anecdotes. It really depends on the situation.

Have your parents ever disapproved of your SO?

Recently, my parents found out that I (21F) have a boyfriend (24M). Actually, at first, I didn’t want to tell them about my relationship as it was still a new relationship and I would tell them if this relationship is serious enough for me to tell them. But, yeah, somehow they found out.

So, they started to ask a lot about him, such as his name, his photos, and all. So, I just told them as I didn’t really want to hide him and lie to them too.

After a few days, my parents suddenly came to me and say to not get any closer to my boyfriend anymore. It turned out that they went to a fortune teller and she said my relationship would not last.

According to the fortune teller, my boyfriend is very cheap and he would be very selfish and kerp ignoring my opinion in the future (which is very very not true).

I also found it very stupid to believe a fortune teller. I have tried to talked to them about it to just let me see how it goes because I am very happy in my relationship right now.

I have finally got into a very healthy relationship and I don’t want to risk it. But they keep persistent with their own opinion.

Current situation, I don’t know if both my parents are being denial or what, but, they think I am still in the talking stage with my boyfriend and ask me to stop talking to him, whereas I have introduced him as my boyfriend at the first place.

So, I just let them think what they wanna think and continue my relationship without them knowing.

So, I wanna ask, how important is your parents’ approval to your SO? Would you still continue the relationship if they disagree with it?

The cons of being a PR in Singapore

I’ve been living in Singapore ever since I was 4, enrolled in a kindergarten here, then pri school, sec school, poly, NS, and now I’ve ORD-ed.

In everything but official documents I am a Singaporean and I identify as a Singaporean; everyone who knows me thinks of me as a Singaporean and they get surprised when they see my NRIC or they learn of my country of origin.

I’ve recently ORD-ed, done with 2 whole years of NS with clean records and a bunch of injuries, and also I’ve applied to become a Singapore citizen a few months back.

But guess what, my application was rejected.

For my whole life, I always fit in socially, but never on ‘official’ government records. I’m tired of being not given a chance by the government and the red tapes preventing me from becoming a singaporean on record.

I just want to become a singapore citizen, to get the perks that were given to my fellow brothers, I’ve been paying higher school fees, I don’t get my thousand dollars upon ORD, i dont get as many perks even though this is my country and i have served 2 years of my life here,

im just tired of it all

Netizens’ comments

1. Did you apply before or after ord?
   • (OP) before, but i’ll apply again as i have my ord transcript with me
2. Dude apply now, with your COS and testimonial. I also got mine rejected during NS but got it accepted when I applied after NS
3. Go meet the people session. Ask MP help you write reconsideration letter in regards to your citizenship application matters. Good luck
4. These are the people we want, people who went through NS and fully integrated with our society.
   I hope you’d keep trying and not give up. As what others said, completing NS should give you the ammo you need for the application. Godspeed!
5. Bro I same situation as u, I applied during service kenna rejected, after ORD I applied and got it. Don’t give up