Very uncomfortable at a new job after hookers were involved in a business trip.

Context

So I got hired by a company and relocated to deal with the operations here.

First few weeks were ok so far. My colleagues, despite their blunt way of communicating sometimes, are professional, “to the point” and do their job.

As this company is in semiconductors industry with a bunch of operations in Asia, frequent business trips to other countries in Asia are to be expected and are part of my job.

So a few days ago I came back from my first trip in another Asian country with some of my new colleagues, and I admit to be baffled by what happened here.

The first days of the trip was pretty usual: we dealt with the client, endless meetings and negotiations. Things then went well and objectives were pretty much met. So we decided to relax, go visit the city and eat at a restaurant.

That’s where things started to get weird: while we were drinking beer, my colleagues decided to hire local hookers for the night and blow some celebration.

I was quite surprised, cause they all are married with kids. But hey, its their private life, they do they and none of my business. I still felt it was gross, lame and cringey. But, again, as long as no one is hurt, they are free men.

They wanted me to get a ‘hooker’ for myself as well

However, they started to peer pressure me to go with them and participate in this hookers party thing. Scrolling pictures of girls on hooker websites, showing them to me “Which one would be for you? This one! You think she’ll be able to fit you in?” while laughing.

I mean, I am in a relationship too and they know it. I refused and frankly started to get pissed because they insisted, mocked me etc. Then, one of them a bit drunk angrily said that basically my attitude won’t help me integrate the company and become part of the “pack” (ie the team).

I immediately left the bar and left for my hotel. Next day we took the plane back to home, I was alone, felt really ostracized, didn’t talk to them during the fly while they were exchanging words and talked job things.

Supposed to go back to office this Monday, at one hand not so sure I want to go back there, on the other hand I blame myself for not handling the situation well and not having proper social skills to navigate through these tough situations.

Maybe I should’ve bought a hooker without really consuming her? Just to bamboozle them into thinking I did as them?

I [F27] have been in Singapore for 6 years and my mother-in-law treats me like I’m living under the rock!!

My mother in law thinks that South East Asians other than those from Singapore are uneducated

For context, I am from Vietnam and have been together with my Singaporean husband for two years and have been living with him and his parents.

She asked me if knew what an air conditioner is and if it was a new thing to us!!! She’s done so many ridiculous things like ‘ teaching’ me how to spell the word ‘ low ‘ and ‘ brunch’ when I didn’t ask for despite of the fact that I speak English.

She also kept telling me that my parents in Vietnam ‘can’t afford’ things when she has no clue about their business and how much they make.

I used to make my husband’s family some Vietnamese food and snacks for most our meals and because of that she labelled me as ‘poor’ because that’s what we eat.

She even thought that I never had anything local to Singapore or any other dishes from other countries before I came here which is unbelievable!!!

Worst part is that she dare to think that any South East Asian not from Singapore are all uneducated!!!!!!!

I hate to see her but I don’t want to make my husband sad.

We’ll also be having our wedding ceremony in Vietnam this November for my family, relatives and friends in Vietnam and having her there will absolutely be a nightmare.

What do I do?

Here are what netizens think

• Talk to your husband, forget the “im scared to hurt his feelings”. Shes literally making a hate crime out of you, and if your husband doesnt put and end to it, might be the end of your relationship, cause girl if it aint stopping now better say goodbye to it ending ever.
  
• Try to talk to your husband. This isn’t something you should try to protect him from. He’s an adult and he should know what his mom is doing to you. Don’t just lay there and take it from her.
  
• Tell your husband! You need to know BEFORE you marry if he is going to be supportive of you or put his mother first. Do not put it off.
  
  If you don’t tell him, this could end up being a lifelong problem. Always be honest with your husband, and do not set yourself on fire to keep him warm. You deserve happiness as much as he does.