Will I regret if I quit my job in the current economic environment? Everyone keeps saying there’s a recession coming

I (32F) absolutely cannot stand the people I work with right now. I’ve spoken to a few recruiters and while there are opportunities I am wary of joining a new place if it means I’ll be the first to be given the boot. Should I hang on? We can achieve FI in another 3-5 years, if I stay in my current role.

My partner and I are also currently family planning and intend to have our first child by next year. If I quit now, it would mean getting pregnant and going on maternity leave fairly soon in my new team (which doesn’t seem quite fair to my new colleagues).

Edit: I have no idea why some people are so offended by this post. I have never lived through a recession as an adult, so obviously I have questions and am allowed to feel fearful. The plan was to quit, get pregnant, give birth and look for a job after.

Netizens’ comments

1. For the past 10 years ever since i graduated i never once hear people telling me the recession is not coming
2. our people all hum chi one need to keep thinking the worst is gonna come like some global disaster every human gonna die
3. Theres always a recession. There is no such thing as a stable job market. My wife recently resigned (2 months notice) and is not looking out for work as well. For her because the workplace it too toxic and is affecting her mental health. Id rather she leave and find to let her recover for the next job. Mental health is always important
4. Consider it carefully, do you see yourself working in the same team for a year, not even to say for 3-5 years? If the cost to your mental wellbeing/stress is too great, you might want to consider switching jobs.
5. Yes! If you feel uncomfortable in your current role, just leave and find another one. Or ask for an internal transfer to another department. Don’t need to feel bad about going on ML and troubling your new colleagues in your new role. Just make sure when you come back you’re able to offer your best to the team.
   I’m also a 32F and planning to have a baby in the coming years. I quit my previous job and is focusing on my mental health so as to ensure that I have a healthy pregnancy in the future. I have an ok job now, more mentally stable than before.
   If being pregnant and having kids is your priority now, go ahead and do what’s best for you. Don’t worry too much about recession or fear mongering among the people lah. You will be fine 🙂
6. Tbh, sounds like you’re doing relatively well (lowkey flexing FI and all) even if you try something new and doesnt work out, still can easily find something else? And even you dont work for some time, also no major issues? So not very what you’re trying to get from the internet, as your qn sounds quite stupid

Is rain a valid reason for smokers to smoke in non-smoking areas? (sheltered bus stop, hdb void deck with no smoking sign etc.)

Just kidding this is a rhetorical question. It’s not allowed no matter what.

If you smoke in a non-smoking area (and these smokers invariably litter and toss their cig butts on the ground) you are objectively a morally bankrupt, inconsiderate and straight up bad person. Please consider changing for the better.

I say this because I just had to tell off a piece of sh– for smoking outside a kindergarten. Dumb guy said he couldn’t go out to the grassy area because it’s raining. Like is that supposed to temporarily lift the no-smoking law???

Netizens’ comments

1. obviously not. i just came back from Japan and i was so impressed that i didn’t smell cigarette much because they have smoking rooms that are sheltered (either in malls/individual shophouses). but i’m guessing SG will never implement such good facilities cos they want to eventually eliminate or at least reduce smoking in SG.
2. Simple answer, of course not. But sadly some smokers loves to justify their reasoning to smoke in such places.
   The HDB common corridor, lifts, and stairways are another example too.
3. If one wants to smoke, even if there is a storm, they do not deserve to get shelter and smoke at the same time. If they get struck by lightning, at least the lightning gets to smoke them. Win Win.
4. Or just mass hire more NEA officers to patrol everyday with quota. Catch littering and smoking indoors. Recently more people littering like nobody business.
5. i have never seen any smoker fined for smoking in non smoking area during rain. It is a special law that does not apply during rain
6. Well.. you should try smoking under the umbrella in the rain…

What does being middle class mean to you?

I see people causally saying “oh I’m middle class” or “ oh I’m from the lower class” but what actually made you feel that way?

Recently the Zoe C&K girl got exposed by netizens as they found proof that she isn’t as poor as she claims she is. And she same out to say that she’s not poor but in the “middle class”?

I used to be from the lower class when I was young. And that stemmed from not having enough money for daily necessities. Dad was earning 2.2k a month to feed a family of 4 so the struggle was quite real. He kept telling us he is poor and our childish self refused to believe it .

But I think now due to work and education, i can safely say that I moved out of the lower class. And some changes for me were the capacity to pay my parents medical bills on time, no debts, having the means to eat out often even tho it’s not at some fancy restaurant.

Im not rich rich, but I feel as tho I’m not struggling. I still take the bus daily because I can’t afford a car yet but that’s alright. Maybe next time me and my fiancés combined income will allow that privilege.

What about you guys? How do you define being in the “middle class”?

Netizens’ comments

1. have seen lower/middle class PRs struggling with daily meals but they’re unable to apply for financial aid as well
2. I’m definitely of the lower/lower middle class.
   We don’t own any luxury things like LV, Chanel etc. Even Charles and Keith is barely out of our reach because it’s expensive to us. We consider Charles and Keith luxury too.
   We don’t have a car, maid or a personal chauffeur like the rich people do.
   We live in HDB not condo or landed like rich ppl
   Always taking public transport instead of grab, personal car or chauffeur etc
   Only my dad works. He’s a teacher.
   All my 3 siblings and I share a small bedroom.
   Sometimes, I am ungrateful and envy other people when I see others being fetched to and from school in their parent’s car, wearing branded things etc.
   Sometimes I see spoilt rich and very rude children/ppl and I think to myself, “Life is so unfair. Why are rude and obnoxious people rich most of the time? That wealth should go to someone who is more humble”. Yes, life is unfair.
   But then, this also reminds me to be grateful for what I have. Some ppl don’t even have clean water, safe place to live in like SG and live under a roof etc. So many things to be grateful for, yet sometimes I take things for granted. Also, when I watch documentaries about the North Korean citizens it really reminds me to be grateful for what I have. They don’t have the freedom to even do what they want (e.g. wearing makeup, having free thoughts) and live as lifeless puppets
   My parents are working so hard and providing the needs and support for our family even though we don’t have much like others. I will definitely repay them when I start working

He said to me I’m past my sell-by date.

A guy I used to be involved with said I’m past my “sell-by date”. I’m 26 F. He dumped me when I was 25. He is several years older me, so obviously he doesn’t think the rule applies to him.

It infuriates me to think he wasted so much of my time.

I don’t want to internalise his toxicity, but it’s difficult. I hate the fact women’s worth is defined by their age, and even creepy old men think they can call a younger woman “too old”.

I don’t think I want to be involved with any guy who thinks a woman is worth loving only for a few years of her life.

And oh, he is still trying to sleep with me. Jerk. He told me not many guys would warm to me, especially because I’m past my prime now.

Netizens’ comments

1. Tell him you thought about what he said and agree, which is why you can’t be with someone as old as him because he physically disgusts you now
2. You don’t think you want to be with a guy who thinks women are only good for a few years? Maybe talk to a therapist so you can change the word “think” to “100% definitively know”. And don’t date anymore old idiots. That will help
3. I had the same worries your age, but you know what. I’m 41 now and feel more attractive than at your age, because i’m confident now. I have a husband that still adores me alot and still feel that many guys are interested in me.
4. I hate double standards so much. These men forget that we are no longer in a period of time where women are fearing to remain unmarried. Jokes on him when he will realize no woman saint in the head will want him. That is why he goes for younger women
5. You are 26 ffs! If you are past your “sell by date” I am only a green mouldy lump of cheese somewhere in the back of the fridge.

Being “jealous” of my brother with cancer

I (F18) have a brother (M26) who has terminal cancer.

Ever since he got sick, my family has given me less attention which is understandable. But now it feels like it’s to the point where they don’t care about me as much anymore.

We have a family groupchat, on my birthday everybody asked how he was doing instead of wishing me a happy birthday. My parents watch movies with him and spend time with him and never invite me.

A few days ago I got frustrated by the fact that I am feeling so left out and ignored that i told my mom about it. I told her i was feeling like a “glass child”. She called me disgusting and couldn’t believe that i was “jealous” of my brother with cancer. So, aita?

For clarification, im not jealous that my brother has cancer. To be honest i’m not jealous at all; i simply used that word because it’s the word my mom used to describe me.

I spend time with my brother. We recently went on an overseas trip just the two of us together. What i’m upset about is that my family doesn’t put much of an effort to check in on me or spend time with me.

I understand that he has a limited time left and that they want to continue to spend time with him before he’s gone but still, don’t i deserve love too?

Netizens’ comments

1.  It’s okay for you to hold two truths at once, you’re very sad/scared that your brother has cancer, your very sad that everyone forgot your milestone birthday and are excluding you from the family events.
   Usually I’d not say anything bad about a mother dealing with her child having cancer but her reaction to you was the only “disgusting” that I read here today.
2. My mother had cancer. It was treatable, and she’s fine now, but I was her caretaker, and at the time i was 10 years older than you are now.
   I remember one day I just got so frustrated. I was so burnt out. Exhausted from managing everything working and going to school.
   And every time someone called it was to check-in on her and one day I lost it and said can’t a single person ask how I’m doing
   I just wanted to be seen for one minute for someone to say are you okay how are you handling. I felt selfish for that thought then and still kind of do now even though it’s long since passed
   But I know it was because I was trying to hold it together knowing the person I loved was falling apart. And instead of feeling like a member of the family I felt like a rent-a-nurse outsider there for vitals and other people’s emotional support
   I don’t think you’re jealous. I just think you’re struggling to navigate.
   You did the right thing by speaking up. I’m sorry they reacted the way they did

Dating Life in Singapore

I am a 27F working in a Nordic country. I have a job offer in Singapore and thinking about moving there to be closer to my parents. I am not Singaporean but grew up in one of the SEA countries.

I am still single and I know people marry quite early in SEA. Does anyone have any advice on the dating scene in Singapore for expat women, esp those who are late 20s?

I want to settle down and find a long term partner so I don’t want to kill my chance while moving for job opportunities.

Thanks a lot in advance

Netizens’ comments

1. I think if you are looking at the possibility of settling down with a local, the main hurdle is integration. Will you as you are, be able to find someone that has similar values and outlook as you. If not are you willing to explore if the culture here, whatever that is, is something you may embrace. Everything else comes after.
   Generally speaking, men are still expected to be the initiators of relationships here. But women are the selectors. I’m sure being a 27F, you will have suitors. The only question is if you will find one suitable to settle down with.
2. Singapore is not like the other SEA nations. So we don’t marry that early. We have the typical issues of developed nations eg marrying late, less children, aged population.
   I would say everyone has a chance to date and marry it’d hard to tell knowing your personality and what you’re looking for.
3. Disclaimer: speaking from my (29M Singaporean) personal experience, as well as those of my friends.
   1. Where to find dates, outside of the club/bar scene: Online dating can be incredibly dull here, so I don’t recommend it. Instead, if you’re into any kind of creative activity (music, standup comedy, live painting etc) then find and hang out in those spaces. That’s how I met my partner.
   2. Make the first move: With local men, I recommend making the first move if he seems “stuck”. Make it explicit that you’re into him. Expat women can be intimidating to local men due to the perceived class difference.
   3. Having a place of your own is a huge plus: One thing to note is that most Singaporeans stay with their family until they’re married, because of how our housing subsidies work here.
   As you’ll be renting on your own as an expat, be ready to bring your dates home if it goes well… or to get a budget hotel room for a quick “staycation”. There’s an app for that, and it’s called Flow.
   4. Local men are taller than other SEAsians but shorter than Scandis: Finally, I notice you’ve been living and working in a Scandinavian country where people tend to be taller.
   If it matters to you, the average Singaporean man is taller than most SEAsians, but is still shorter than a Scandi man. The exact average male height is 1.73m, or 5’8.
4. Most expat women I know don’t have much luck with finding a life partner because it isn’t easy to integrate into local culture (if they date local men). It doesn’t help that expat men can date local women easily so they do not only date expat women. It is, however, not difficult to have casual relationships/ hook ups.
   That said, I also know a female expat that dated and married a male expat (they met in Singapore) so it could happen. Who knows what life has in store for you??

Is it wrong for me to dress so well as a straight guy? I love fashion and I work in the industry so compared to most men in Singapore, my fashion sensitivity is off the roof.

A lot of my guy friends come to me for advice on what to wear and even the girls will hit me up for ideas. Not that I want to haolian but I don’t just dress well, I’m not a bad looker too.

My face is on par with a lot of MediaCorp celebrities and I work out so I also got six pecs. I thought that what I have is already the whole package for boyfriend material already but somehow, I still can’t find a girlfriend.

Whenever I try to hint a girl that I’m interested in her, they’re always caught by surprise as they usually assume I’m gay.

When I reassure them that I’m not, they will laugh and say that I must be a play boy then. I really don’t understand leh.

Is this what they mean by fan jian? Got this good boy of their dreams here they don’t want to take, they want to get their hearts broken by some c grade d-bag. I really don’t get it.

Netizens’ comments

1. You know, people who claim that they are good looking, usually are the ones who are actually not good looking at all, but kudos to you for having the enormous self confidence, all the best to you OP and good luck.
2. From the way you describe yourself shamelessly, I think it is pretty evident why you are still single and no females want you. Maybe humble yourself a little bit more and people will find you attractive, or you are going to die alone still holding a mirror to your own face.

I’ve been tgt with my gf for more than a year now and I feel a bit cheated cos she wasn’t as clingy as she is now at the start.

When I first met her, I thought she was someone very independent and had her own life. I did tell her then that I found this very hot.

I believe that a couple should not revolve their lives around each other and should still have their alone time to do what they like.

Sometimes I really regret being a man cos I feel like I really walked into her trap. Now everywhere I go she wants to follow and not just that, everywhere she goes, she wants me to follow too.

She want to cling onto me is her choice but why must she force me to cling onto her too? She do manicure why must I be there to watch her nails being painted? Is it eye power the nail polish will dry faster?

I’m someone who really enjoys my freedom so even though my gf is gan hot and chio, I find myself becoming a workaholic now cos work is the only place she cannot follow me to.

Even when I think about her I feel like suffocating. I’ve told her a million times but she still doesn’t get it. Best part is when I told her I wanted to break up, she can still appear at my house the next day like nothing happened.

Really hin. Is it I need to move across the Atlantic Ocean?

Netizens’ comments

She got abandonment issues or what, that’s not healthy at all for a relationship, wanting to follow someone everywhere they go. People need their own space to do their own things. i think you need to evaluate this relationship and see where your priorities lie.

My son is 45 this year and he still doesn’t have a girlfriend. Whenever I ask him, he always say he already has me as the woman in his life, what for find another one?

This kind of response, when my son is below 30 hear already very sweet. But now he almost 50, I hear already on fire.

Is it he doesn’t plan on letting me and his pa carry grandchildren? I understand it’s not easy to find someone you like but never try never know!

Every day he after work not go gym is come home. Never go out with friend and meet new people like this how to find girlfriend?

I know gym actually got a lot of girls one so why is it none of them like my son meh? Come chase my son la! Cannot even attract a single girl, don’t know why he need all these muscles for this yao siu kia.

Netizens’ comments

1. Let him be la. For what u want grandchildren if your son forever miserable with his wife?! Isn’t it a very selfish thinking of u to not consider his happiness? And worse, your grandchildren will be affected if they see their parents constantly fighting. All this you as an elderly never thought of it meh?? Don’t see short term, see long term.
2. Hi madam…. There is one probability : he likes man?
3. U sure he is referring to a gurl?
4. Have you ever considered maybe it’s not because he doesn’t want to find a girlfriend, but rather, he can’t find one? Because men at his age are already past their sell-by date, and there are many other younger, more good looking guys who are financially stable already. 45 years old is not an easy age to find a partner or companion.