One time I shocked my friends with how loud I was in bed (f19)

So earlier this year my friends and I went on a girls trip away, and they accidentally overheard some uh… let’s say “sounds”

That night we hit the town and the theme was “cowgirls”. We all went out dressed like cowgirls with the hats and everything and it was very fun.

The night goes on and we get pretty damn drunk. I met a guy at a bar who was a really cute and he managed to steal me off my friends for a while.

After some time talking with him and getting to know him I was pretty much glued to him for the rest of the night.

He bought me a ton of drinks and when we went outside we made out. I flirted with him a lot after that and asked him back to the hotel we were staying in.

He agreed and we went back and hooked up in my hotel room. The thing is, I was heavily intoxicated, and drunk me knows no limits.

Especially when it comes to noise levels. I’m naturally very loud in the bedroom but combine drunk me + loving it and you get a very noisy girl.

So me and this guy is getting it on and he’s hitting it good. I’m really liking it and getting into it. He’s hitting all the right spots and I’m enjoying every second. It gets hot and steamy, and after he finished, I finished.

That was that (or so I thought). He leaves early the next morning and I meet up with the girls again. They’re all giving me the eye, looking like they’re holding back laughter and I’m like “what?”.

That’s when they play the audio. They all came back drunk af together and they decided to record how loud I was being outside my door. It turns out drunk me is way louder than she thinks she’s being.

My friends all found it hilarious and were stunned that I was that loud. It must have been the main talking point for the next hour. It was all just a bit of fun though, I’m glad they enjoyed their free show.

I (34f) had lunch with male coworker (34m). Husband (35m) is furious.

Spoke to him on the phone during my quick morning break and said I’m really hungry today – the weather always makes me eat more!

Told him I might grab a sandwich at lunchtime and he suggested getting something hot from a cafe. Then spotted a male colleague at the school I work at and he asked if I fancied lunch at the cafe, another female colleague would be joining us.

I said yes – stomach was growling and I’m not one to sit in a cafe by myself anyway.

Lunchtime, female coworker changed her mind so me and male colleague popped down and ate (his wife teaches at the same school but she didn’t fancy coming as she had stuff to catch up on).

Great lunch, a good natter, happy days! Finished work, and my husband called me, asked who I had lunch with – I said someone dropped out so me and male colleague went anyway.

He had a massive strop, hung up on me, called me back to carry on having a go at me (eg. “Does his wife know you went for lunch together?!” And I said “yes? Of course she does”)

It was a quick half hour in a busy cafe with a hot chocolate and a panini – I was honest, no reason to lie, but sort of wish I had.

Have I crossed some sort of line by having a bite to eat with my colleague?? Be honest, I am happy to apologise for being in the wrong, but I just didn’t read that much into it and my husband clearly has… and now I’m wondering if he’s projecting.

Things were rocky lately anyway, and it feels like everything I do is wrong these days.

Once again, I just wanted unbiased opinions, I guess; my friends would be on my side regardless but I WANT to hear if I’m the one in the wrong here!! I had such a lovely day, not just lunch but at work in general and it just feels ruined now!

Small business owners/managers and their egos

I’m not sure if this is a common experience for freelancers but just want to rant on 2 recent experiences I had:

Service-based business, middle manager reached out to my cold call for help with his “complicated accounting system” (it’s Microsoft Excel VBA and each retail shop has its own Excel file). Work was done, but the fella kept dragging payment. Only when I gave him deadline before I file for Small Claims Court then he paid up, but not before asking for a discount.

Retail shop owner looking for help with his broken website (it’s WordPress, namoamitabha), we met up at a McDonald’s. I told him I was in an SIM tee, and he spent 5 minutes pretending not to see me despite me being the only guy with that tee in the restaurant.

Called him on mobile and he finally acknowledged the reality. First thing he asked was “oh you from SIM?”, and I explained to him I graduated from university more than a decade ago, and it was a free t-shirt. End up after discussion, he went to DIY fix his site with Wix.

No hard feelings on the meetup since no work was agreed on and it was just a preliminary discussion, but it was certainly really weird.

That said though, I have had positive work experiences with other people. Just find a certain demographic of people being really weird/egoistic with their business plans. I wonder if this is a common thing in SG?

Netizens’ comments

1. I mean go for biz meeting probably don’t wear you SIM tee would be best especially if you are no longer a student there. It’s all about image, your client probably don’t take you seriously that’s why jerk you around.
   Imagine someone show up for job interview in SAF t-shirt, similar feeling.
   Just my opinion do what you like.
2. I think it’s about creating respect and boundaries while being professional. Of course you need to be good in your work and provide a service they need.
   If you lower the customer qualification criteria just to get more jobs then eventually all you get are those customers.
   This kind of ego and behaviour happened even in MNC or with “educated” folks it’s an individual behaviour thing not a company thing. But when you qualify them then you are less likely to deal with such folks and also can produce better quality of work since the client also knows what they want.

Dangerous jobs in SG that pay extremely well

No need degree, just risk your life can bring in at least 4k+ each month. Easy hire. Any suggestions? No SAF/SPF/SCDF

Netizens’ comments

1. Commercial diver
   • This is true. I know people who’ve done very well for themselves in this trade.
     • But it’s long hour at random timing depending on project. In Singapore the pay is not that good unless you go offshore. And the cert cost a bomb. About 20k?
       • This is also true. But you don’t need high academic achievement for this trade. And you can exit quite rich. Provided if you save well
2. Oil rig worker. No need higher qualifications, very long shifts out at sea with no immediate medical help but pay is good.
   • Would you recommend for a female to join?
     • It’s doable but you need to be okay with very traditional male dominated work cultures. O&G guys are stereotypically muscular jocks who like rough and tough stuff.
       Also for some reason, all the girls in the industry are very stereotypically attractive. I think the industry attracts the alpha personalities.
     • I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody, male or female. It’s a very tough job and the majority of people quit within 2 years due to social isolation and mental fatigue. You have to be desperate to do it.
       Plus global oil dependence won’t last long, there’s going to be alot of rigs closing down once renewable energy production scales up over the next 2 decades. Some will still remain open to supply the raw feedstock for chemicals and other manufactured goods, but the bulk of oil jobs will be gone.
3. my friend, was a guardsmen for ns. after ord, rappel off building to clean window. 6.5k a mth, 8-5, No cleaning at night due to visibility safety, too windy also cannot clean, rain also cannot clean.
   • This one like solid eh where to sign up
4. Diver, underwater welder
5. I used to work on offshore oil rigs. Pays well. Crews on boats and ships pay well too.
6. High raise building window cleaner, don’t need degree but need certificate…
   Class 4/5 driver
   Construction equipment operator (especially those involving heights)
   Demotion Specialist
   Work involving ships or oil rig maintenance or going up the shop/vessel/rig when it’s moving
7. Ship cleaner/painter. 10k per trip.
8. The issue with all these high risk jobs is that you can only do them when you are young. Commercial divers usually stop in the 40s. I know one who quit in his 40s after he lost most of his hearing and has to now rely on a hearing aid. He works in an office job now.
   • You need to plan for a second career if you work in one of these dangerous jobs because they cannot sustain you until retirement.
9. Security on commercial ships. 9k+ for a mostly mundane job if I heard right
   • Not sure but the people I know who got it were referred by other people so it seems like a “networking” position. Most time they say the sea is boring cos there’s no wifi and not much to guard but in the event that there are pirates, well then that’s a different story. High risk, high financial reward. A lot of money changes hands in international waters.
10. can try oil and gas companies in jurong island (technicians and such), with ot pay easily can reach 4k. think most of them trying to hire ppl, cause no sg’reans wanna travel to JI

My husband was talking to other women and now I want to date other people

I (26F) been with my husband (33M) for 7 years married for 3. He has a drinking problem. He gotten better over the years but its still an issue.

Before we got married we both cheated on each other. I cheated one time and he cheated on me twice. He still reminds me til this day about it, even after we got married.

I been loyal ever since the last time i cheated because i felt horrible about it even though he cheated first. We have two daughters 6 and 4 and the reason we stood together for this long is because of them.

Even after getting married he still continued to talk to other women while i busted my ass at work and he been home with the kids.

The love for him has drained from me little by little every time for all his drinking, his infidelity and now I’m at the point where i want to date other people.

I want to feel that passion again and feel on top of the world, i want to see other people but i feel stuck because he’s the one who watches the kids while i work.

I just feel like i have nothing left to give this marriage and want something more.

Netizens’ comments

1. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep him warm.
2. This is a toxic situation just divorce and get it over with. You destroyed your marriage. There isn’t anything there. I wish you the best of luck, but I would suggest divorcing and moving on with your life also before you get involved with somebody again get some counseling.
3. OP, please just get a divorce. You are doing more damage to your children staying together

My gf (24f) insists that I (26m) go somewhere else to ‘satisfy my needs’

My gf and I have been together for 5 years and we always had a steady life in bed, as usual it was wild and 24/7 in the early stages and dropped off a little by little as we got into the comfortable stages and life got busy.

We were always great and passionate in bed despite being less often. We now have 2 kids, after the first, life pretty much went back to a steady routine, and we did it 2/3 times a week.

But since having our second, her drive is gone… and like not reduced, just straight up gone.

We now on average go about 6/7 weeks before we get intimate (because she just doesn’t feel it) which I am struggling with as I would still be having it every day.

I have tried many options and suggestions with her, like agreeing time schedules to take the not knowing away, but she wasn’t keen on the pressure of having to be in a set day so we didn’t do that.

Have tried to suggest mutual stimulation but she doesn’t even want to do that anymore. Tried me just doing stuff to her or her just talking into my ear while I do my stuff myself but she doesn’t want that either.

After It now being 9 weeks, it’s hit a point where she won’t let us kiss for more than a peck because ‘she doesn’t want me to get excited’

there’s 0 passion or affection, no touching, no teasing nothing intimate in any regards. She has now started telling me that I should ‘as long as you always come back to me, find what you need elsewhere’ and I really don’t know what to do?

Netizens’ comments

1. I would recommend couples counseling and potentially a therapist. I think you both need to understand what is going on with the other.
2. In situations like this, outside help is something that should be a priority. This is not a healthy relationship at this moment. Some sort of relationship counseling is a must. My wife went through a similar period, and it took months to figure out the root cause. She wan’t ready to communicate it because she didn’t know how. But once it finally came out, we could take steps to fix the issue and we did! But looking back, I realize how much better therapy would have been for us and her.