I became acquainted with FM over a decade ago while we were both students. Our close friendship blossomed due to the nature of our program, leading us to spend a significant amount of time together. We shared our hobbies, discussed life plans, perspectives on the world, and much more. Meeting for meals and spending weekends together became routine, often just the two of us, with little or no interaction and knowledge of others around us.

I held a postive feeling for her, yet our relationship never crossed into romantic territory, and there was no trace of ambiguity. Could it be that we were simply pure friends with no romantic chemistry? Was it because of our differing backgrounds and varying aspirations and expectations for life partners? I never had the opportunity to directly ask her if she felt the same. However, I vividly remember a humorous incident where I played the role of an advisor to help her get closer to a boy she liked.

Graduation eventually arrived, causing our lives to drift apart gradually. We pursued our separate careers, got married, and started families. With each milestone, our distance grew wider. Before I knew it, years had passed since we last communicated.

Recently, I received the shocking news of her passing. I was left in a state of stunned disbelief, unsure of how to react.

The loss of someone who used to be so close to me left me deeply saddened, yet I found myself unable to shed tears. I regret not staying in touch with her as much as I could have, and now, there’s no chance to amend that.

I was taken aback by the fragility of life and how everything that seemed perfect could be abruptly taken away by nature, often with little warning. However, I realize there’s nothing I can do to change this reality.

These emotions have become a heavy burden on my chest, and I’m unable to express them. Perhaps sharing anonymously is the only way.

I implore you to cherish those around you while you still can. For those who are on your mind but not by your side, reach out to them now and maintain contact as much as possible. For those you hold grudges against, try to let go and forgive.

Life is fleeting, and if you’re fortunate, you may reach your 80s. There’s not much time to wait for someone else to pick up the phone, to hesitate about making the first move, or to guess instead of asking for answers.

Age matters so much?!

I have always been feeling inferior my whole life and have low confidence in my looks. It’s just worsen now at I approach mid thirties. I wanted to work on my look now but I was told it’s a waste of my money and time by my close friends and families. They think I should have started in my twenties and now I should just focus on saving for my retirement and family if I ever wanted one.

I am actually still very immature on the inside, I still chase kpop idols about half my age, laugh and enjoyed their silly jokes. I want to attend their concerts and fan sign if any. Again I was told by both fans (i was in a fan chat without revealing my age) and friends that older fans (especially fans older than the eldest member of the kpop group) shouldn’t attend fan signs. They said it’s just weird and creepy!? Why am I creepy just because I am older?

Here are what netizens think:

• age matters if you want to learn driving, have S, smoke or drink alcohol, buy a bto as single occupant… otherwise, no, age doesn’t matter much. Money matters more….Make more money and 你讲话 can louder abit

• Just do what makes u happy. Attend those fan signs if u wanna and F care those younger fans.

• Dont listen to people if u want to be n feel happy.

• Actually “working on your looks” also means working on your health. If you eat properly, exercise regularly, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

• Carry on working on your looks it’s never too late. But of coz cannot sacrifice family for it. Go to fan meets all u want.

• If you are of their age and noticing someone ten years older being similar to you, will you feel weirded out?

Best advice for someone who is lost in a r/s.

I have been together with this guy for like 2 years. We fight a lot, not sure if it’s me or him, or we are just incompatible. He did something terribly wrong in his past, and I couldn’t look pass it, which indirectly cause me to be emotional in a lot of stuffs. Another thing is he makes terrible decisions, especially financially and it has been stressing me out regardless it isn’t my money, but i just saw a bleak future in terms of financially with him at the moment.

He pampers me a lot but in the meantime spending a lot of me which I have told him multiple times i didn’t want him to do so if he didn’t have the cash but I guess he didn’t listened and now we fights sometimes because of this issue as well.

The thought of breaking up keeps surfacing. Not because he’s broke or whatever but because I felt that I am the reason for his downfall. Is breaking up at this moment a great choice? Need helps.

Here are what netizens think:

• Sounds like you’re riding in a luxury comfortable car. Real leather, plushy seats, in-car champagne. But that car is speeding down the highway at 200km/hr. It’s also on fire. Get out before you’re dead.

• If you cannot handle his past, it’s better that both parties part ways. If his current behaviour doesn’t change, it may become worse after marriage which may lead to the downfall of your marriage.

• You are not the reason for his downfall. But if you stay in this relationship that doesn’t make you happy, then you and only you would be the reason for your own downfall. Leave now before you feel too stuck to leave later.

Am I too sensitive?

Recently a series of things happened and I’m getting more and more easily agitated. Not sure is it I’m sensitive?

One day I found out that my MIL went thru our cupboard in masterbedroom and took out 1 of my clothes and put on my bed. I personally don’t like ppl to touch my things, so I nagged at my hubby. I want him to tell her don’t touch my things. My hubby was a little irritated at me and we quarreled.

Another day I was de cluttering my house, I threw out a lot of things. My MIL went thru the rubbish when I went out. She took out a figurine (not she bought anyway) that I discarded and placed it in my living room. When I saw it I flared. I turned to my hubby and asked why is it that your mum likes to touch my things. If I discard means I don’t want it. As I nagged my hubby felt irritating and we quarreled again.

Another day, I found out that she has been using our osim leg massage and never turn off the electricity after use. I asked my hubby why your mother can turn on when want to use but never turn off after use lei? My hubby said aiya small thing la. Honestly to me is a small thing BUT I’m the one paying for everything in the house. Why I cannot interfere in this?

Another day, I saw with my own eyes that my MIL likes to eat at the table and don’t clean up after eating. For example, she eats the bread, bread crumbs dropped on the table. Eyes can see big crumbs she used hand to pick it up. Eyes cannot see ones she don’t clean it. I told my hubby, he just kept quiet.

All these happened when I’m not at home (working). My MIL in my house cos she helps to oversee my helper and bb at home. When I got home then I found out above all. Maybe it’s not the end, but this is a few things that I hv to find out myself when I get home.

Hence recently I’m feeling more and more flared with my MIL. Quarrelling more and more with my hubby becos of her. What should I do?

A guy shared how his girlfriend is still in contact with her ex-girlfriend and theyhave been going out for meals and texting each other.

Here is the story

Hi admin, please don’t filter this post. Would like to see what guys(or girls) think.

I got together with my girlfriend recently and she told me that she was still in contact with her ex who is of the same gender.

She said they are just pure friends. I don’t mind as she assured me that she loves me now.

However they have been texting often (albeit no flirtatious/lovey dovey messages) and have been meeting for meals regularly.

I really like her and decided to pursue her but it kinda bugs me that she came to know me only weeks after her previous breakup(our mutual friend brought us tgt) and is currently still in contact with her ex.

I don’t want to make it sound like its a big fuss because I trust her, love her and she has not much friends around her in the first place.

So am just throwing out the question here. Will you be ok if they are still in contact?

Netizen’s comments

• You are in a rebound relationship. She does not like you enough to exclusively see you only. By meeting her ex, she is playing with fire.

You did not show her where your boundary is so she step over it. Don’t be confused by gender. Love is love.

Don’t be shocked if she gets back together with that person.

My life is a lie. How do I tell my family I will not be having descendants?

I have no drive and no passion in life. Everyday I do the same thing. I don’t live an impressive lifestyle. I don’t have debts because I’ve been blessed by my elders for they have repaid my mortgage years ago. I fully own the condo that I live in and my parents also let me take over a few of their fixed deposits to manage. I promised to repay them but at the rate I’m paying back, its unlikely I will repay the full amount in their lifetime and they don’t mind. All they ask for is that I get married and give them some grandchildren. I never thought of settling down because I’m bi so I just let them continue to dream. I suspect my mum knows but is in denial. She accidentally met one of my friend/lover when she popped by my place once but she didn’t have any reaction so I left it be. I don’t count on my father to be chill about it so I never thought of telling him unless I want to lose my inheritance.

I live simply but people keep thinking I’m some rich slob sitting on a fortune. Just because I work with no pressure and select fish when I order fancai. Everyone have their own stress. Just because my stress is not about money, I don’t show or act it, doesn’t mean I have no worries.

Loneliness is subjective. I think I will feel more lonely if I have to stick to the wrong person for the rest of my life. Is it normal to not want to seek for a stable partner? Or is it that I haven’t met the right one?

Here are what netizens think:

• Everyone will have to take ownership of their own life someday. If you think you are ok living alone for the next 30-50 years, no one can stop you. But stop complaining abt your life sux…It just goes to show you are simply lazy to even bother to find out what life has to offer. Life doesn’t sux…you do

• It’s ok to remain single. You do you. It’s your own personal life and choice not to get married. Why need to bother about what your folks think? As long as you are still filial and carry out your duty as their child.

• Yes you’re rich. You used the word fancai instead of caifan. Perhaps you ordered mee siam with no hum too?

• Its okay to live for urself, but at least dont gaslit urself to think that there is no way you can find significant others at the future, keep option open…

• You’ve probably not met the guy yet. Look into your hobbies and meet people from that circle. Who knows you’ll be able to find someone you are keen on marrying with?

For context, I am a 19-year-old girl still studying in Poly, and I’m working part time as a F&B server on the weekends, earning about $8/hr.

Ever since I was in secondary school, I have been using the Samsung Galaxy S6 that my mother bought for me under a cheaper plan with Starhub, for about $50/month which my mum pays for, using it until I started Poly.

I told her one day that I want to get a new phone after my Starhub contact expired, and wanted the Iphone 13 Pro Max.

But it was really expensive, the phone was $989 for a Starhub plan with 30GB, and monthly bill of $65, which was slightly more than my expired plan.

The other option was a Starhub plan that costs $55 per month for 15 GB, which is about the same as my old plan, but the phone could cost $1369.

My mum refused to get it for me and said that she didn’t have the money to spend like that, so I told her to transfer ownership of the plan to my name and I would sign up for the Starhub line myself.

I told her that I will pay for the phone and the Starhub bill myself since I’m working part time on the weekends and have some money.

She said okay, and I then signed up for the 120gb per month Starhub plan at $155 per month (with another $18 in add ons), and used my savings to buy the phone at $209.

I was so happy with my purchase.

However, the first two months I couldn’t afford to pay the bill and had to ask my mum for help. I make about $400++ from my part time job and after minusing my daily expenses for food and etc at school, I simply don’t have enough to pay for the bill.

I am starting to regret my decision, but my Starhub contract runs for 22 more months and I can’t terminate it without paying the penalty fee.

I don’t know what to do now, my mum is really stressed out with the extra financial burden that I am laying on her, please someone gimme advice.