This happened 8 months ago. Also just wanted to note that we are no longer together, i just wanted to share this because I can now laugh about it.

So let me just say that I know that going through your partners phone is wrong and that you should always trust your significant other.

Here is what happened

So it’s probably about 12 AM and my boyfriend had fallen asleep. I was on my phone originally until I saw his and got this really bad gut feeling like something was wrong. Now I will say I’m not the most secure person and that I do have a lot of anxiety due to past relationships but honestly this wasn’t just plain anxiety it’s like my intuition was trying to tell me something.

I decided to look through his twitter account just because I knew he had a secret account that he briefly mentioned to me when we first started dating. He never let me see it. I didn’t even know the name. Honestly I was just looking through the tweets which were him venting and that was all.

His timeline was no different just random accounts nothing suspicious. At this point I start scolding myself for doing that because there was nothing. Honestly felt disappointed in myself. I was going to tell him what I had done and own up to it because of how guilty I felt.

Then I remembered the search feature. I felt like I wasn’t going to find anything anymore but looked anyways. Boy what I saw.

I see an account pop up and i didn’t understand at first until I realized. It was a f-ing ‘adult’ account. Like of a specific woman. This woman looks nothing like me. I could just tell from the profile picture I didn’t even want to click it I was so sick to my stomach. (Adult films is one of the boundaries I set in my relationship early on. My boyfriend agreed with me. I don’t feel like getting too much into why as this isn’t truly that relevant just know it’s a boundary lol)

Anyways it wasn’t just that account…like he had searches of “bj” and other stuff I can’t really remember but I felt like crying and did. I had seen enough so I shut his phone off and I felt so much anger I woke him up and decided to confront him.

He ended up crying hysterically so much so that I had to calm him down. He said he was sorry and that he doesn’t remember when he watched, but knew that it was not recent. That was really a lie because he had just gotten this new phone like 2 months prior.

I never told him where I found it and I asked how he even knew what to look up because it was a specific persons account. He started saying, “you know the websites.”

At this point i was so angry because that meant he did it several times on several platforms, I didn’t even know what to say.

So anyways I realized that he probably had been watching the whole relationship and lying about it.

I was on a date with a woman I had recently met, and the conversation had taken an unexpected turn.

She had just told me that she wanted a rich boyfriend, and the implications of the statement had left me feeling a little uncomfortable. I knew that she was beautiful, and had a great personality, but I couldn’t help but wonder if she had some kind of ulterior motive (Because She know I stay at landed property).

Was it her beauty that she was relying on as her ticket to a rich man’s heart?

I had to ask her if she had a double D cup breast and a supermodel’s face, and she laughed. She said that she was beautiful, but that she wasn’t relying on her looks to get her what she wanted.

She explained that she wanted a rich man because she wanted to be able to have the lifestyle that she wanted without having to worry about money.

I was a little taken aback by her response. I knew she was attractive, but I hadn’t really thought about using her looks to get a rich man. She seemed to be expecting something from me, and I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t giving her the wrong idea. I asked her if she was expecting me to be that rich man, and she said no. She said that she wasn’t expecting anything from me, and that she just wanted to find someone who could provide her the lifestyle that she wanted.

The conversation left me feeling a little confused. On one hand, I could understand why she wanted a rich man. But on the other hand, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was expecting too much. Was she expecting something that she didn’t deserve? I knew that she was beautiful, but I also knew that rich men don’t want just any woman. They want someone who is more than just a pretty face.

So I decided to troll her

Anything lesser than D cup I cannot accept because no feel in the palm, I want squeeze orange but end up squeeze grapes.

I want big bao, not xiao long bao. I am rich of course I want a rich sensation not some half-baked girl. I need to “finished” on a supermodel face. Your face cannot sia, at most $3.50 chicken rice or cai png auntie.

The date ended very awkward for her and very funny for me.

I am currently 22 years old and I am already making 4.5K with some of my friends (also in early 20s) making 4-5K at local firms.

I only hold a BA from uni in Australia and my friends are holding masters or even PHDs elsewhere but we are taking home similar salary.

What I am trying to say is that, education background does not matter that much and what matters more is your skills, knowledge you have at the moment. If you want to earn as much as they are, start learning now and equip yourself with skills/knowledge to help you succeed.

Keep going, Keep pushing and keep fighting! Don’t admire them, do something about it to catch up with them

Here are what netizens think:

• Masters & PhDs are another level of skillsets perhaps in research and academic contributions which may not be applicable in their current role, hence the salary range. However, having a Master or PhD set you above the rest who may only has a Bachelor.

• How did they finish NS, get a Bachelors, masters or PhD and still be in their early twenties?

• How did they finished PHD by early 20s, want to write story also don’t even know how long is the PHD route.

• yes. in this day and age, your uni certificate is just the “passport” to enter a company. how you fare depends very much on your attitude and performance in the company. and education is a lifelong process, not just that 2-4 years in the uni.

Infatuation at work

Saw many posts about people catching feelings for their colleagues or friends despite being a relationship. Sparked an interest in me to post my story as well.

Im a F25 who is in a relationship with a M27 for about 4 years now.

Our relationship is great and we genuinely love each other. However, sometimes in July, a new colleague joined the company and we became acquinted due to a work project. Somehow, I was drawn to his charisma and wanted to get to know him more. We exchanged numbers due to work and that started a friendship.

He has a generally outgoing personality and he texts me a lot, almost every single day. Though I wouldn’t usually do that for male friends, I thought it will be ok since I like him as a person and we are colleagues (don’t want to make things weird too).

However, I soon find myself catching feelings and looking forward to his messages. He also came to mind more frequently. He once shared that I was his type and would date me if I was single. I have literal butterflies when I see him… but I am unsure about his feelings and never dared to ask about it.

It came to a point where I decided that I needed to do something about it.

Things like cutting back on the frequency of texts or simply not responding unless necessary. It was very difficult at first and the urge to act upon your feelings is real. But deep down in my heart, I knew that I love my bf and will never do anything to hurt him or jeopardise our relationship.

It took some time but the excitement of talking to someone new eventually fade and I stopped looking forward to his messages or seeing him. That’s when I realised that I was simply infatuated and not in love with this new person in my life.

Today, my relationship with my bf is still strong and we are looking to settle down very soon. No, he doesn’t know about this story and I did not share as I don’t wish to create unnecessary misunderstandings or unhappiness.

I just want to encourage those who might be going through what I went through. Infatuation and feelings will fade. Love is a choice. Make that choice daily. Establish healthy boundaries and be responsible. All these go a long way in building a happy long term relationship.

Is it OK to bow to people I meet?

Hi! I’m 21, and for context, I’ve been in SAP schools for 12 years, 6 years primary school + 6 years IP (remained in the same school environment for sec and JC, I think that narrows it down to DHS or RVHS lol).

(Also I feel like I should say I’m definitely for the abolishment of the SAP system, but that’s like a whole other thing.)

I’ve asked my friends from both SAP and non-SAP schools, and I find this is very much a SAP school thing, but bowing to adults is very ingrained in the school culture. Every time we see an adult (be it teacher, visitor, janitor etc.) around the school compounds, even if we’re just walking past them with no real interactions, we just give them a slight bow.

I think this is a habit I’ve picked up from my schooling years because now I’m out of JC but I still bow to everyone I interact with. I mean I don’t bow to people I’m just walking past, but if let’s say I’m in NTUC and a staff approches me or if I approach a staff, I’ll bow to them out of habit. And I’ll also bow when saying thank you to the cashiers or staff who’ve helped me. Or if I see the janitor in the toilet I’ll also give a slight bow, out of habit. Slightly more absurd would probably be bowing to the old people after I give up my seat to them on MRTs. Slightly more appropriate examples would probably be to my profs/TAs in uni, also out of habit. BTW all these bows aren’t like full 90° bows lah, just slight ones.

I don’t bow to fellow students, though.

Anyway, I know some of my sec school/JC friends also have the same habit as me, but quite a few of my other friends have picked up on this, which they find weird that I’m constantly bowing to random people, which sometimes make me question this habit of mine because I feel like I’m not hurting anyone right? And it really is out of habit, like I genuinely don’t give a second thought before I do it, so it’s not like I’m grovelling or anything.

Some people who I’ve bowed to have expressed annoyance, these are usually profs, which I’ll just keep in mind to not do it again. But I also have a few friends who told me it’s actually quite a bad habit because it makes people around me uncomfortable, especially the people I’m bowing to. But personally I feel like it’s a good habit to have, and I’m showing respect to the people around me.

TLDR: Picked up a habit of bowing to people since young, some people have given feedback that it makes others uncomfortable, but I feel like bowing is showing respect to others.

Just wanted to get some opinions on this, and if it’s a habit I should get rid of?

A netizen shared how he rented a master bedroom at a HDB unit for $1,300 per month from a landlord, who was good and friendly at first, until the payment was made and the agreement was signed.

Here is what he said

This is to share awareness on a recent tenancy in Pasir Ris. Things turn horrid since the second month of staying.

It all started when I saw a listing on Facebook that there is a post that is renting out the Master Bedroom for SGD 1,300.00 per month. I made the arrangement to view the unit, and it was all good and friendly Landlord until payment and TA has been signed.

I have been a good paymaster (paying rents two weeks earlier that requested dates each month) and the nature of my job was to travel alot. Hence, I have only stays approximately 15 to 20 days each month.

It all started when I started washing clothes with a longer mode (1:04 hours) and the landlord came yelling saying that why did I need to wash that long. I have justified that the clothes were rather dirty due to me visiting outdoor sites and nature of my job. Then, after that, all kind of additional rules start coming out. I am only allowed to use air cond from 10pm till 8am weekdays and 10pm to 10am weekends. Washing clothes are only allowed after 7pm. Mind me, that I am staying less than 30 days there and all these additional rules were not in the TA. So I have questioned on all these new rulings and the landlord wasn’t happy about it.

Next minute, he evicted me with less than 30days notice, without any reason, for a merely 2 months’ stay. HDB minimum requirement is 6 months rent, but he said that he will deal with HDB that part. I decided to move out as I do not feel comfortable staying in a HDB with someone like that.

After that, when I was washing clothes after 7pm, I divided the load into two loads so that it will not burden the washing machine. He went through my clothings and then started throwing tantrums by slamming his doors so loud that the neighbours would be able to hear. He was expecting me to wash 7kg load of clothes each time, which again, it wasn’t stated in the Tenancy agreement.

Lastly, on certain weekends when I am staying in Singapore, he would blast his music as loud as possible and do all kinds of knocking and cleaning jobs at 10 in the morning. Indeed, this is by far the worst renting experience as I have rented other properties in other countries previously.

Currently, landlord is blaming me for the toilet grouting and request me to pay for the whole refurbishment. As I have stayed less than half of the time during the three months period and it seems like normal wear and tear. He is withholding the full security deposit and ready to go to court.

My advise to readers, try not to rent a room that is to be shared with landlord, especially a middle aged man who listed “prefer ladies tenant”. That is a red flag. I have learnt it the hard way, and I hope others do not need to experience what I had experienced.

What options do we have against inconsiderate smokers in public areas?

My biggest beef are with these smokers at bus stops. There are limited options that us victims can do. I have tried speaking to them nicely to outright commanding them to stop smoking within 5m of bus stops.

Most of them continue smoking, at most taking a courtesy step away like it makes a difference. Worse, they throw their butts on the ground since the bin is nowadays placed far away.

The worst are aggressive pos who confront u back like they are in the right.

Short of enduring the smoke, what can one do? Can I take photos or videos of them? Send them to police or something?

Netizens’ comments

1. Bring water gun and squirt at their cigarette. I think hard to get angry at someone doing that.
2. take a photo and lodge a complain via myEnv app. i done it once and it works. the dustbin ended up got shifted further away and i have seen enforcement officers walking the ground at my stated location at that specific timing when people smoke (usually rush hour morning crowd)
   even if it doesn’t, there is a continued record of the complain in the app. complain enough time then raise it to your MP
3. you could always walk 5metres in the other direction if you want an immediate solution.
4. Lol funny story, I once had MP walkabout in my estate and when I raised this issue of smoke from filthy smoker neighbours entering my house, the politician literally said “we’ll look into it. Here’s some little things for you and your family” – hastily shoved mosquito repellant bottles into my hand – “feel free to email my office if you have more concerns. Ok thank you bye bye take care!”

Does a good working environment even exist???

The question is what it is. All the 3 companies I’ve worked at before had bad bosses and poor management while lead to unhealthy workplaces. And based off the experiences from my friends and colleagues, it seems like healthy working environments and good work culture are just modern day myths. Has anyone had a genuinely good working experience anywhere?

Some examples of common bad experiences would be:

1. always promising a pay increase/more benefits but never following through
2. higher ups not taking responsibility (and always blaming teams for all mistakes)
3. micromanaging
4. bosses and managers gossiping about employees to other employees all while saying that “we’re a family”
5. praising people who work OT (and not providing compensation) and therefore expecting others to do the same
6. tracking employees’ online activities
7. bosses using company money for their own side ventures
8. limiting when employees can go on leaves/ expecting employees to work even while on MC

Netizens’ comments

1. Good working cultures exist, but you have to keep looking. Personal experience, the list you stated has applied to every locally owned company I’ve worked for, in various degrees. The last one irks me especially. Currently in an MNC, and they’ve kept every promise they made regarding promotions, pay raise and don’t need MC as proof. And when you’re on leave, NOBODY is allowed to bug you for work. It just took me over a decade of work to find this place
2. Places with happy employees, their turnover rates are much lower, hence the odds of even having a vacancy for you to apply for is similarly low.
3. No workplace is perfect since toxic people are everywhere but I think my workplace is pretty decent, all things considered.
   Not only do they not limit when we can go on leave, but we’re actually nagged to clear all our leaves that cannot be carried forward (we can only carry forward 15 days) since any leave forfeitures is considered poor management rather than the reverse.
   We don’t do OT. If someone is consistently staying back they get looked at as low performers with difficulties coping with their work load rather than praised for it.
   Increments and bonuses are declared annually with clear KPIs for bonuses that are tracked and announced quarterly so there are no unpleasant surprises in that regard.
   Gossiping and pushing blame is sadly, still prevalent human nature being what it is, but it’s possible to not take part.

Will I ever see my money again?

I have a close friend whom I loaned >10k five years ago for their startup. The business is open today but apparently making very little profits. I am in no real desperate financial need as I have adequate savings, but I am just wondering about the chances I will ever be repaid.

I also loaned 2k to another friend who got scammed two years ago; they swore to pay me back but yeah, I have yet to see the money too.

Am I just a sucker for not demanding IOUs? How often do you all loan money to others? Did your friend pay you back without asking?

EDIT: Conclusion is that I am a succccccccccker.

Netizens’ comments

1. I’m afraid not. You’re a kind person but a bona fide succccccccccker.
2. my dad was the same way. even partially paid for his girlfriend’s HBD. lent his friends money even though he was struggling with 2 jobs.
   in the end none of them were there for him when things went downhill. sure some came to the funeral but the money gone with him to the grave. generosity is overrated.
3. Well, i am in need of few k.. how do i apply for ur friendship ?
4. For the 10k business that’s still open till today, u probably can ask them to include u as 1 of the owners and then get probably profit sharing till u have recoup ur money. Once recoup, from there, u can either juz leave (since u got back ur 10k) or juz continue being a sleeping shareholder loh.
   For the smaller 2k personal loan, I think it’s as good as gone also.
5. Why don’t you ask them to slowly pay you back $100 – $500 every month. If they can’t even do that count it as your money is gone and they have no intention of ever returning it. Don’t be a sucker in the future.
6. Stop lending people money. As a personal rule I am only willing to lend to immediate family and my best friend. Everyone else, no matter how close, is off the list.
7. One rule especially when you enter working life + for me to learn also:
   NEVER lend money (especially large amounts) to others.
   Have heard of many cases exactly like yours where someone lent like a lot of money to their friend and their friend disappeared/ghosted them and didn’t want to return the money.
   If I were in your situation, I would probably make a police report? I don’t know. What’s the best course of action for this?
   Off topic: The most money I’ve lent to a friend was $1 back in primary school when they forgot to bring money for recess 😂 and when I borrowed from them, I made sure to write down what I owed and pay them back the next day.