Me (F25) got ghosted again by (M30) why does this keep happening? This has happened multiple times in my life with different guys – so idk if it’s a guy thing or a me issue.

It usually goes like I’ll be seeing a guy casually for a few moths, nothing serious we will just be having fun and sleeping with each other and then after a while they will ghost me when I think in my head things were going good/no issues. Why is this?

It happened to me recently the guy came to my place, we went for drinks, slept together I texted him the next day and then ghosted – we had been hanging out for months – it’s kinda disappointing/sad honestly.

Why is the reason guys will do this after months of seeing each other?

Netizens’ comments

1. First time? Maybe he finally got what he wanted, didn’t think you were a match, or got scared of having to commit to something.
   Who knows but it happens and very common, you’re not the only one. Keep picking yourself up and move onto the next while setting firmer boundaries and express what you want from them.
   • (OP) No we slept with each other a few times!
2. If that is your experience, you are the common denominator. I don’t want to be mean, but it’s not a male thing. It’s something that the men you pick have in common.
   If you’re honest with yourself, you probably saw some red flags and chose to ignore them because they have other qualities you value more. Might be good to evaluate how you go about selecting a partner. Wish you the best.
3. It’s very common, men usually “wham, bang, thank you ma’am” and disappear once they manage to get into your pants.
   You mentioned in another comment that you slept together with him a few more times, so possibly he got tired of you and wanted another woman.

Boss asked me to come before my shift unpaid to set up for work

I’m a receptionist/typist & I start work at 9:30am, I’ve been at this job for a couple months now and have never been late, not even a minute, i’m usually dead on time.

So, today I clock out (again, exactly on time) & my boss says “we need to talk about your time, you’re meant to be on the computer typing at 9:30, not getting in at 9:30, if you’re leaving at 4 then that all adds up.”

She got a phone call and we ended it there and I went home, but what do y’all think?

It says in my contract that my hours of work are 9:30am-4:00pm and I get to work at 9:30am and leave at 4, I feel like she’s essentially having a problem with me working my hours??

Keeping in mind I literally get there and go straight to my desk and turn on the computer, I’m not making a coffee or anything like that, I mean we’re talking like 3 minutes or something here.

She’s basically wanting me to get there unpaid and spend my unpaid time setting up for work fkn ridiculous…

Also to add on – she regularly leaves me by myself at the office by myself so I’m forced to have my unpaid lunch breaks at my desk basically still working if anyone comes in. What do y’all think I should do?

Netizens’ comments

1. Quit, you can do better. Of course find another job first, all I’m saying is if this isn’t your dream job than its probably not worth having to put up with a stupid ass of a boss. There’s always a better job you just gotta keep looking and don’t let yourself settle.
2. My job does the same thing, I am scheduled 9am to 6pm, but I arrive and clock in at 8:55am to get setup, then start working at 9:00am.
   Do not work unpaid.
3. My sister works from 8:30 to 4:30. One time she started shutting down her computer at 4:28. Her section supervisor gave her a hard time about it and told her she couldn’t start the shutdown process until 4:30 since she’s “paid to work until 4:30.” In response, my sister told her supervisor that, if adhering to the time is so important, then she would no longer have her computer up and running by 8:30 since she “doesn’t get paid to start work until 8:30.”
   How did her supervisor even know my sister had started to shut down her computer at 4:28? Well, she had been standing behind my sister’s desk next to the door chitchatting for the last five minutes with another supervisor, both of whom had already closed up their offices waiting for the clock to strike 4:30 so they could be the first ones out the door.

Hi everyone. I’ve been doing a bit of online dating of late and it seems that a lot of women I encounter get a little antsy when I suggest coffee or tea for our first date.

Is this normal? It gets a little demoralising, to be honest.

A lot of them suggest dinner, some insinuate that they want to be treated to a meal at least, others outright say they expect a treat.

My intention is just to see if we get along in real life and I thought a chat over coffee was a good way of doing that (it’s much harder to talk when your mouth is full and I personally dislike having to swallow my food quickly to respond to another person).

Is coffee really such a bad idea for a first date? Should I be open to dinner? Do you have any good date ideas?

Thanks in advance!

Netizens’ comments

1. Good that you have already filtered out those just looking for their free meal ticket.
2. No, if they suggest or insist on dinner or a treat, they are most likely gold diggers.
   It’s perfectly okay to suggest a meetup over coffee first, which is a safe way for both persons to assess and decide if they should proceed further or back out.
   I didn’t encounter much resistance with coffee first dates, so perhaps you’re asking the wrong way or just plain unlucky to have gotten the gold diggers. Either way, keep trying and keep honing the approach till you get the coffee dates. Good luck!
3. “foodie call” is a thing. Don’t fall for it no matter how gorgeous she is.
   These women have a long list of cafes they wanna eat at and you’re just gonna be one of those sponsors.
4. Politely tell them to fk off. Those expecting a treat are just camping for free meals.
5. Here’s a rule for men but in general dating. You pay your own food the other party pay their own. Dw pay then pay your own and walk out
   I’ve heard of girls getting on dating apps solely to get free meals. Legit finding those nice guys losers say some bull and keep leading him on to get more free meals.
6. As someone (F) who used to use dating apps in my mid 20s, I never once requested for free meals lol. Then also, they also quite thickskin hor? For saying outright they are to be treated lol. Like who are they to be treated to a meal sia.
   Though for those who requested dinner (but not requesting to be treated and hopefully is not expecting to be treated), it’s understandable. Because dinner is longer and also shows us your eating preference more than coffee dates.
   So for me, I’ll usually go for 5-15sgd per pax places for first dates and that’s also cause I also use it as a way to subtly jio for first dates by sharing that I feel like trying this place that an article reviewed on etc and whether they wanna try as well hehe.
   But it’s definitely not wrong to go for coffee dates either la. Your preference. For me, technically both is fine but I’m more of a food person than drink? And the topics I can bring about, like “oooo this place not bad but I know of another place lagi better” haha

Laid off, $3 in bank, rent in three days

Got laid off and had major expenses at the same time. Can’t get approved for personal loan and my credit is bad.

I’ve made job hunting a full time job for the past month, including jobs outside my field. Even unskilled food service jobs are either flaky or hyper competitive here.

Primary skillset, software/web development. Been applying to literally hundreds of roles, including generic office admin roles. Also looking for landscaping, barista, etc. type jobs. Even looking into sales roles.

What are my (ethical) options, if any?

Netizens’ comments

1. Might be able to find a temp agency that can get you a labor job and paid same day per day.
2. Call your landlord asap. Don’t wait until the day rent is due. Tell them you’ve had some emergencies and are hoping they can help you out. Don’t demand anything, be humble and ask for their help.
   Try to sell anything you don’t need online. Even stuff like furniture. You can worry about getting replacements after you get back on your feet.
   Keep looking for work obviously. Don’t be afraid to walk into places that are hiring with your resume.
   If you have a ride, something like food delivery might be a quick way to make a few dollars.
   Sorry you’re in this situation, keep grinding and you’ll figure it out.
3. What software experience do you have? Might be able to find a quick contract job on like indeed.com
4. Temp agencies are pretty solid – try looking around for some. That’s how I got into my current company.
5. If you haven’t already look for jobs outside of your area that you can work remotely. They are competitive right now but you may get lucky
6. Don’t just send in paper applications, call the companies directly, email the hiring managers directly, send messages and connection requests to the recruiters via LinkedIn.

My daughter found out I am actually her mom after thinking I am her sister her whole life

I (f29) got pregnant at 16, I wanted to keep and raise my baby so badly but realized both my baby and I deserved better.

So my parents decided to adopt my daughter and raise her as their own considering they were very much more financially stable than me at 16.

I was able to graduate and become financially stable and just make a life for myself.

I now live away from my daughter and parents I visit most weekends and holidays just because I want to see my daughter grow up and know her.

Yesterday was my daughter’s 13th birthday and so I decided to take a few days off of work so I could celebrate with her and spend some extra time with her.

I decided to take her shopping as her birthday present so she could buy what she wants. It went well we had fun.

Afterward, we were in the car and she asked if I had any spare change for ice cream and I told her it was in my purse.

Well, I keep a picture of when my daughter was born and me holding her just as motivation. My daughter found it and was confused asking when did I have a baby.

Then she looked at the back and realized her name was written back there.

Safe to say she freaked out and has not talked to me or my parents since. I honestly feel horrible I know she feels so hurt and confused.

Netizens’ comments

1. Do not distance yourself. Reach out to her like you typically do. If she wants space, then give her that. But don’t be the first one to stop reaching out.
   Ignore the comments who are blaming you for “keeping it a secret”. It’s easy to know exactly what to do at a given moment when you are not currently in that moment.
   Just continue to be there for her.
2. This is a completely natural response, the life she’s grown to understand has just been turned upside down. The best thing to do right now is let her feel what she needs to feel, let her understand and come to terms with what she’s found out, and once she’s had that time and has figured out what she wants to happen, then would be the best time to try and talk to her.
   It’s also important that you don’t blame yourself. You did what was best for both you and your daughter, and that takes a lot of courage for a 16 year old. This time was going to come at some point, it’s just unfortunate that it has happened the way that it has.
   Wishing you both the best.
3. I was in your daughter’s position. I was 10-11 when I found out my sister was actually my bio mom, and my parents were my grandparents. Give her space, its information that is life changing. From my experience, when she does start asking questions, be 100% honest from the start, or as much as you can be to your knowledge. A lot surrounding my adoption was lies and half truths. It’s been almost 20 ye, rs and it took a long time to actually trust people and not feel like I was worthless or a mistake that people were forced to take on. Give her space, be honest when she does start asking questions, and if she’s mad/upset, let her and don’t undervalue her emotions. Good luck.

My girlfriend asks me to dominate her, but it means “do all the work” and its ruined the bedroom activities between us.

Title sums it up good, but Ill add more detail. When my gf [23F] and I [22M] hook up she always wants me to “dominate” her.

But to me its started to feel less like her being submissive, and more like her being a pillow princess.

What she wants me to do is all of the work: hold her down in a certain way she likes but not too tightly as to hurt her, kiss her in all of her sensitive zones but in the way she likes or it tickles and turns her off, put some of my body-weight on her so she feels overpowered but not too much or its uncomfortable, etc.

I’d be less frustrated with this if I got something out of it, but I don’t. Us f-ing is basically just a full body workout for me except I have to be super aware to not hurt her and I can’t really do anything I want and it rarely ends in me finishing.

Lets also be real here shes the one who is dominating me, and no shade to you femdom folks, but this is a huge turnoff for me.

So at this point I basically just don’t want to sleep with her. Its no fun and a big pain and jerking off is more satisfying. What can I do in this situation if I have already talked to her about this before?

Netizens’ comments

1. Sounds like you want different things. If she’s not willing to give in any way after you get her off then she’s not really any different to those selfish dudes who spaff in their partners and then immediately roll over and go to sleep without thinking to use their hands, their tongue, or a toy. I’d bounce.
2. If you want to give it another shot, I think you can definitely say that you would like more XYZ or say you’d like to add some sessions where she is focusing on you in whatever way you like (if you make a specific request the way she does is she willing to give it a shot?), and see where that takes you.
3. I’m having a similar problem with a partner and I can understand your frustration. It grows tedious.
4. Might as well go to a cemetery and help yourself with a dead body
   • Wtf is wrong with you man

My husband ruined our marriage

My(f30) husband(m35) and I have been married for going on ten years this year.

Before we got married he couldn’t keep his hands off of me, everything was great. But, right when we got married he suddenly wanted nothing to do with me. He didn’t want to sleep with me and we hardly spent any time together anymore.

It got to the point where I would have to beg and beg and beg for any sort of physical attention, we wouldn’t have F for 3 or more months. If I didn’t bring it up, it wouldn’t happen. My self esteem hit below rock bottom.

Some how we had three kids in that time.

Now I’m very very open minded, and I like to think that I’m an open minded person.

I found out that my husband is VERY into cross dressing. Now, this doesn’t turn me on at all, but doing my best I tried to get into it while he wore heels and panties, but he wouldn’t do anything that I enjoy when we do F, and I still would have to go months without it.

Turns out, not only is he cross dressing, he’d been cheating on me the majority of our marriage. Going out dressed like a woman, lying about where he was going, talking to other men and women, meeting up with them and hooking up.

I was very open and willing to do my best with becoming even more open with the sissy and cross dressing, but the fact that he cheated on me and lied about everything? I’m beyond pissed.

I have lost ALL respect for this man. He wants to stay together since we have children, but I want out. He keeps gaslighting me to stay so my kids have both of us under one roof.

My husband and I haven’t f-ed in almost two years and he is still going out and meeting up with other people, I’m starting to see other people also but I feel guilty since I’m a very monogamous and loyal person.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading and letting me vent.

I (21f) paid for my bf(23m) for our entire vacation.

So I (21f) recently flew to Bali for 13 days, Little back story I don’t live with my boyfriend (23m) and we have been dating for two years,

He makes about $300 more than me per week and we have similar expenses, before this we split joint expenses perfectly 50/50 and have had a stress free relationship.

So during December my parents were kind enough to book me and my boyfriend a trip to Bali as my Christmas/21st birthday present, they paid for the flights and accommodation everything else was up to us, It was booked for early March.

All went well and then a week before we were meant to leave I asked bf “hey have you saved up some money for our vacay” he responded “yeah no stress”

But two days into our holiday he ran out of money and I had to pay for everything including his, food, drinks, alcohol and cabs, he even asked for $50 for gambling, because he literally wouldn’t pay

The total was around $1700 for both of us when I confronted him he said well “sorry I can’t touch my savings, I didn’t budget right I guess”.

When I asked if he was going to make it up to me somehow he said half of my spending doesn’t count as spending anyways because it was my “birthday money” that’s referring to the about $400 cash I got from my friends to spend. His only saving grace is he paid for his half of activities we did like the zipping ect.

I just want some advice as to if I’m over reacting as I am pretty upset and hold some resentment or if I should just drop it and be grateful I had a good time. Other then this he’s loving and sweet

Netizens’ comments

1. What were his savings for if not to use on holiday? Does he expect you to fund most things usually?
2. You should consider his behaviour a red flag. Considered your parents paid for his flights and accommodation and he did not feel the need to reprocicate and to cover some of your expenses is a selfish and unkind behaviour. He is just thinking of himself and his entitlement. Like you inviting him puts all the financial burden on you.
3. You ask him to pay you half of the money and then you break up with him.

Hired a girl because she was hot then had to fire her.

Happened a few months ago and I still feel awful. She was a customer, absolutely gorgeous and wanted a job, so I gave her an interview.

It’s an entry level job you don’t even need much qualifications, it’s basically retail, there’s a little more too it than your average retail job, but still not too difficult.

The interview didn’t go great, she hadn’t been able to hold a job for more than a few months but I hired her anyway.

Tried to reason that I’d give her a shot but regretted it as soon I mailed her her welcome letter. So many red flags that I honestly ignored because she was pretty.

It was bad, I kept her around for three weeks hoping she would improve, but she was a total airhead, nothing was sticking. Everyday my staff was telling me to get rid of her. We have a short probation period and then it’s next to impossible to get rid of an employee.

I’ve let people go during the probation period before but this poor girl was different. She was trying so hard but failing. She had a great attitude, always on time. She was just so happy and grateful to be there but could not do the job.

It’s just always so sad to see someone try so hard and fail, like I said it’s not a difficult job but she couldn’t do it and I was 90% sure when I hired her she couldn’t.

It’s never nice to be let go but I could see this poor girls soul leave her body when I did. I felt like I broke her, I could hear her crying as she walked out of the store and down the street even.

I didn’t need to put her through that, I’ve been doing this job for 20 years and never hired someone for looks. I could have spared her that pain and said no during the interview like I would have any other person.