As I grow older, I’ve noticed how people can turn their backs suddenly and simply leave without any explanation or actual conflict.

I haven’t even hit the big 2 yet and my social circle is getting smaller… I no longer know who’s true and who’s not. Everyone seems temporary. But when I open my Instagram, everyone else’s social circle is still booming.

And before anyone advises me to join activities and make friends, trust me, I’ve been doing that. But it’s undeniably hard to meet decent human beings.

Is this normal. how does one deal with the loss of relationships they truly care about?

Netizens’ comments

• Don’t believe what you see on Instagram. What you see might not be what it actually is

• The simple answer is that this is normal and relationships will form and dissolve over time.

Even your best friends will come and go due to various reasons (no time to spend with you or have different priorities in life).

It hurts but you need to get used to it. Over time you will learn who are the people that stay with you when you get into problems and ask for help.

Also cherish the relationship while they last and let go of the relationship when it’s appropriate to end.

My husband and I have struggled with fertility for years, we have been trying for seven years and nothing ever happened. We finally went to the Doctors about this issue and we were told that we wouldn’t be able to have a child the old fashioned ways and our options laid out for us.

My husband wants to go the route of IVF or a Surrogate while I suggested adoption. I do not want to sink even more time into IVF which could likely not work not to get into the hell it would put my body through and the money it would cost to keep trying that way, as for the surrogate idea I just am not fully comfortable with that.

My husband is against adoption as he wants a child that is “fully ours” and has brought up that we’d know the medical history this way too and avoid any problems, he also added to his argument that we can afford the IVF or surrogate so we should. This upset me as any child would be our child regardless of blood, we ended up fighting over this and he told me firmly he will not adopt a child and to drop it. I was so upset with him over this that I ended up sleeping in the guest room.

I don’t know it just shocked me, we’ve been trying so long for a child shouldn’t any child we raise together be enough? I never thought he was someone to get hung up on blood connections.

Here are what netizens think:

• Let’s be clear, you have absolute control over what happens to your body. If you don’t want to go through that, then stick to your guns. He would be the AH for pressuring you to undergo IVF treatment if you really don’t want to.

• Each person in their relationship needs to be on the same page here. No ones personal preferences take precedence over the others.

• My friend works at a gynecology ward at a large hospital, and multiple times per month they see women who are undergoing IVF treatment, with complications.

• This is exactly what happened with my ex husband and I, I just couldn’t deal with the meds and monitoring anymore (plus the cost!) even though the issue was with his sperm. We decided we were fine not having kids but it just affected our marriage and we got divorced.

My father told our family he had another son.

I assumed that it was a like a kid no more than five, it turns out he was 16m almost the same age as my younger brother who was 15m at this time.

After this announcement our family’s hasn’t been the same, which to be fair our family was never normal anyway. I had already held a lot of dislike to our father because the way he is.

Anyway when he told us he swore he didn’t know anything about the kid till recently. My mother went along with it even though it was obvious he was lying. So since then my dad has been in contact with this second son.

We had a meet up with family that had adopted him. My dad talked to both us, and the kids dad’s about wanting to bring him into the family and how this could be his home. I think he’s on his self-righteous bs, but my mom really believes him. The problem is it’s clear the kid doesn’t want that.

Recently we had him over for dinner and I could tell he was visibly uncomfortable around the family. He didn’t talk much, he didn’t touch his plate, and he would disappear in the guest room (where he was staying) for an hour at a time.

It turns out the kid is vegan and also has peanut allergy.

So I went to get him a meal from a vegan food place, and when I gave it to him his face lit up with happiness. It was the happiest I had seen him around us, and he seemed to had relax around me. When spent the rest of night talking and I learned a lot about him.

He’s a music prodigy and plays piano and violin, and overall is a really sweet kid. He showed me a picture of his mother that he keeps with him.

After that our relationship has been really good, but the problem is right now is that my dad is still pushing the “join the family” rhetoric.

The kid is shy, so how exactly can I go about tell my dad to step off about the subject?

My bf and I have been dating for over a year and in that time he’s never owned a car. I have one and he basically has been using my car for things like groceries, seeing friends, going hiking, appointments etc. He does split petrol with me but I pay for insurance, maintenance etc. He probably uses the car as much as me at least 3-4 days a week but he refuses to get his own. I had many discussions about him getting his own car but he made it clear he thought cars were wastes of money and he didn’t want to pay for one.

I lived pretty close to him and he wanted me to continue living in my apartment nearby so he could have access to my car. That’s not what he said but that’s the impression I got. I moved to a cheaper apartment 10 min away by car which is 45 min by public transport. I did it partly for the cheaper rent but partly to stop him from using my car.

He was pissed because now he can’t use my car and asked me to give him my car from fri-Sun so he could continue to use it. I said no and he said I need to drive to visit him every time because it took too long by bus and I had a car so I can visit him easier. I told him I would only visit him once he made the effort to visit me once because I felt he would get use to me giving in to whatever he wanted (like letting him use my car).

After 4 month of this he got frustrated enough to buy his own car but he complains it’s a waste of money. Btw he is not poor he’s actually an account that makes good money he just hates spending any of it. He called me the asshole for not driving to visit him and forcing him to buy a car because the bus takes too long.

Here are what netizens think:

• Move away from the relationship

• Your car matters more to him than you do

• Yeah it feel like he mainly use her for a car. They need more communication but why should she pay for a car he use 50% of the time because he doesn’t want to buy one because he is so stingy with his money. And he still bring it up it didn’t make him realize how much he relied on her car.

I wish people wouldn’t judge me so harshly for my job

I’m 35 years old and I’m a cleaner, I have ADD, autism and learning difficulties which makes everything ten times harder for me

so I didn’t do well in school, so cleaning was the only option for me, my only problem with my job is the shit I get from people friends even my own family

I just had a family reunion and I overheard my aunts telling my mom it’s OK to be disappointed in me, I lost most of my friends when I told them.

now I’m down to 3 friends who are not bothered by my job.

today my cousin told his kids to study and used me as an example of why it’s important.

I cried so much because of this, I feel so worthless and alone. iv even considered quitting because of this, the worst part is I actually really like the job, it gets me out the house, it’s satisfying to do and I have no boss or manager breathing down my neck

it’s low stress and when the work is done, that’s it, no phone calls, emails after, it’s great.

I consider it the best match for me which makes me feel worse

I really needed to get this off my chest

I hate my history teacher.

So about 3 days ago I stayed up late last night and I came to school extremely tired. In period 2 (history) I was half asleep and I didn’t hear the teacher say where the work was.

So 5 minutes goes by and I ask her where the work was and she said “it’s on OneNote” but she assumed that because I asked the question I wasn’t listening to her, which was true. When I asked her where the worksheet was, she just walked away.

So 3 minutes later I get the work up and I already knew what to do but she explained it again really slowly.

But the icing on the cake is her saying I could do a more easier version of the work she assigned. So I just said I didn’t do the work and she kept me in as usual. And she kept talking in the slow voice.

So I told her face that she obviously thought I was incompetent and she “didn’t want to have the conversation anymore” and she “had the expectations students did their work”.

So I said that “teachers shouldn’t unreasonably assume students had brain damage”.

Then she kicked me out of class.

A girl shared how she met a guy online and they started talking and flirting with each other, but she recently found out that he was actually married and is looking for an affair.

Here is the story

How common is cheating/ infidelity in relationships and marriages? How to know what your partner is really thinking or doing outside of the relationship without infringing his/ her personal space?

I (24F, single) consider myself as an average person, and I have a fair mix of female and male friends because I am friendly and outgoing. I also enjoy talking to and meeting new people.

Recently I have been using an online chatting platform and began talking to a guy. We chatted quite a lot and found out that we shared similar interests and worldviews. I was drawn to him and felt he was different from other guys who have previously expressed their interest in me. I would even consider being in a relationship with him after knowing him better. As time passed, we became more comfortable with each other, showing care for each other and also flirted a bit.

However, a few days ago, I came across his social media page and realised he was married! (He is much older than me). I was horrified and felt betrayed as he didn’t previously mention he was married despite me asking. And when I clarified with him about it, he told me he was looking for something along the lines of an affair (!!). I was really shocked and didn’t expect it as he is in a prestigious career and a high-ranking position.

Since then, I chatted less with him and he says we are just friends when I asked him his intentions for talking to me. Is what he’s doing counted as cheating and are such occurrences common? I have never thought about and will never mess with others’ marriages. But my hope for finding a loyal partner has declined and I don’t know if I can trust guys that easily anymore! How to find out what a partner is doing outside of the relationship while giving him/ her the personal space?

A netizen shared how she found out that her friend’s boyfriend is cheating on her and doesn’t know if she should be telling her about it.

Here is the story

A friend (25f) of mine (29F) is pregnant & I found out her fiancé (32M) cheated on her multiple times with the same girl. Do I destroy her happiness (and potentially our friendship) by telling her? or stay out of it?

Two of my friends have been together for 4(ish?) years, got engaged recently. He (32M) and I were friends first, but her(25f) and I have grew close over the past year.

They recently moved further away but we still talk every week or so.

Long story short about a month ago I found out that before they moved, he cheated on her once before they got engaged and then at least 3 times after they got engaged, all with the same girl.

Shortly after finding out this information they announced that she’s pregnant.

So now I’m at a loss. She doesn’t have a job, and relies solely on him financially. He’s extremely successful but clearly takes advantage of his situation.

I really don’t know what to do with this information. I want to tell her, but she is absolutely head over heels in love with him, to the point where I don’t even know if she would believe me.

Do I even get involved?

Am I a bad child for not taking care of my parents?

Since young, I’ve never had any affection for my parents. I find it weird that when my dad was working, he can spend his salary on gambling and other extra activities. As a result, I never had a nice childhood. Went to school, they told me I need to get specs as I was short sighted, my parents insist that I was fine. Even the dentist told me to get braces for my crooked teeth, they still insist it was fine. Even I was pulled out from swimming classes because he had to sign the waiver of responsibility from the consent form.

My whole childhood is practically a nightmare. I can play with toys, only because my relatives gave them to me. My parents don’t buy for me anything because my aunties are nice enough to buy for me. I want to read books, but my parents told me they can’t afford it. But they can enjoy their lives. Even when I have fantastic results for PSLE, they told me to go to a good secondary as my sister, going to the likes of RI can be expensive. Even when I wanna go to poly after that, they insist on me to go to JC because uniform is cheaper. Don’t get me started on my own clothes, I practically grew up on just a rotation of few clothings. And my underwear will only be replaced once it’s badly worn and tattered. So, every year, I get a few bursaries, either from the Union, govt and such. Guess what? My father will take them all, and insist that he’s paid for my upbringing. Don’t get me started on upbringing. I eat shit food since young. Now that I’m older, I practically grew up on the cheapest food available. I eat white bread on its own without any spread. My mum cook, but never beef or fish, just scraps of chicken, either made into a soup or fried to be eaten with sweet soy sauce. It totally make sense now why I totally enjoy eating normal food. Eating laksa or mee siam is soooo enjoyable for me now even though it may seems nothing to you guys.

As for discipline, I realised I probably had ADHD or something. I had trouble listening to instruction and I was super hyper active. On hindsight, it was probably because I was mostly cooped up at home. As a kid, I usually go out with my relatives more than my family. My relatives didn’t have any trouble disciplining me though. But at home, I was more of a punching bag. I knew when was their salary date. Because closer to the date, my dad will always be angry and fight with my mom, and somehow, I will trigger either of them, either my dad will whack me with things, or my mum will slap me to appease him. Thinking back, I felt like I was an offering for either of them to ease their anger. If there’s free balloon outside, I will only take the string ones cos it will hurt less later. That hard metal pole to hang clothes, yeah.. It bent, I was stronger than that soft metal. I was surprised that I made it till an adult without any serious injury. Even called the police once, they did nothing to help me.

After JC, my dad told me to work. nahh.. I went back to study. Somehow in anger or something, he sold the house to take most of his money. What a pathetic loser. I was actually homeless, even the school didn’t believe me that I was homeless. Since then, I got married and was out of his life. Eventually, my mother divorced and remarried. I hate her less than my dad but I still blame her for being an enabler to his actions. How dare she let those 20 years of mine be in suffering? Probably as a result of that, my next 20 years are kinda stunted. While others are making families and moving up in their career, I was just happy being free, enjoying the simple things in life. Sure, I got a decent job now, but I wasn’t doing as well as my peers. Most of them are high flyers, I sometimes compare to them and wonder if the difference between us are probably supporting parents.

For my dad, I didn’t keep track of him if he’s alive or not. He could be dead for all I care. That’s how deep my anger is still now. People may say, it’s okay, let go and forgive and forget. He’s your parent afterall. I prayed to God for help as a kid. Heck, I even prayed to Satan for help. Both didn’t even help me at all. That’s probably why I’m not so religious. Most of my friends told me, I shouldn’t do that, and I should take care of them now that they are old. For me, if given a choice, I rather not to be born at all. Probably the same reason why I do not want to have kids. Am I wrong not to take care of them? To those who might be in similar situation as me, how do you cope?