My (28F) husband (32M) wants a divorce after we just welcomed our first child

I (28F) have been married to my husband (32M) for three years. We just recently a few months ago welcomed our first child (withholding age and gender in case someone recognizes me).

Prior to our child, he was the most amazing husband a girl could ask for. Once we had our child, it was as if a switch went off and who I once knew was gone.

He is an amazing father, but a mediocre husband at best. The once loving man who would send me flowers once a week “just because” started to mistreat me and say things I can’t repeat, as well as always throwing divorce in my face.

My postpartum issues were so bad at one point, and I knew the source of it was him. I am extremely passive and typically tend to let things slide. I endured months of taunts, comments, and overall horrible things being said to me.

Yesterday I had finally had enough and told him he disgusts me, I would never forgive him for the things he said, and that he is emotionally manipulative.

He told me what I said was the worst thing he has ever heard (I’m not withholding anything, that is what I said and that he wants a divorce.

For context, he is a multimillionaire. Early on, we decided if we had kids, I would stay home with them u til they are old enough to be in school and then I could work if I wanted. Therefore, I have no income.

I am alone. I don’t know what changed, but it’s like the man I married just vanished one day. Any advice? (If there are any more questions so you can have more context, please ask).

My stuff moved in my sleep and apparently no one did it

Stuff moved in my sleep and this was never explained.

I’ll keep it simple. My sisters bed is next to my bed. So close I use it like a nightstand. I put my clothes for tomorrow and my glasses on that bed before I went to sleep. The glasses were at one end of the bed while I was on the other and the clothes were on the same end.

I woke up at like 2am for some reason and started playing a game on my iPad when I was going to go to the toilet. I went to reach for my glasses only to see they were gone and my clothes were messed up on the side of the bed close to me in front of my face.

I initially thought my sister just moved my things so I was just annoyed at first and started looking for my glasses and while doing that it made less and less sense to me that this was the case because my sister didn’t live there and she didn’t have keys to the house. When I did find my glasses the were at the foot of my bed with my chargers.

I put them on and this is when I really took in the situation. I went to the toilet very confused and kind of creeped out but my grandma lives with me so I just tried to stay calm and ask her in the morning.

In the morning when I asked she said she didn’t move my stuff and never got up last night. She said I probably sleep walked but that just doesn’t seem right to me because I’ve never sleepwalked before and I’m not at the age where it just starts happening as a teenager.

When I’m stressed I can experience insomnia and exhaustion which triggers episodes of sleep paralysis but no one’s ever told me I sleepwalk and I’m not a particularly heavy sleeper.

Plus the way I tuck my feet when I got to sleep under my sheets was the same when I woke up and I don’t know much about sleep walking but I thought it’s simple motions and repeated behavior. It’s a nonsensical pattern yes,but it’s almost too perfect.

It’s my conclusion that it was my grandmother but I just don’t see that either cause she doesn’t sleepwalk either.

Just something weird that happened.

I cried earlier because I found $10 in my pocket. It means I’ll get to have lunch tomorrow.

I know things aren’t easy for anyone right now. I’m barely surviving. I had to pay a babysitter out of pocket to watch my toddler tomorrow, because her daycare is closed (lady who runs it has been shut down since Thursday so not only did she get paid for this week, I’m paying even more to find alternative child care) and my manager would not let me take tomorrow off because the store is already short-staffed.

You know what I had for dinner? A piece of bread with peanut butter slathered on it and my daughter had a can of mushrooms. I’ve cried a lot since the beginning of 2023. Things have just been tough and I don’t know when or even if they’re going to get better.

I had already resigned myself to just not eating until dinner tomorrow. I have 3 eggs left in my fridge and wanted to save those for my daughter’s breakfast.

And I hate spending money at the food court in the mall where I work. I was putting on a jacket I don’t normally wear, but it was the only clean one I had and reached into the pocket and found ten dollars. I guess I had stuffed it in to my pocket one day and just forgot about it.

It’s so dumb. I know it is. But I cried. Like I cried a few tears of joy. Like I can actually have lunch like a normal person instead of “fasting” until 6 or 7 pm and eating one meal.

How silly is it that I’m excited to get some cheap food and share it with my daughter tomorrow night? I know in the grand scheme of things, this is so dumb but man, I needed this little pick me up tonight.

Netizens’ comments

1. Oh my god, I’m so sad for you and so happy for you at the same time! I really hope things turn around in your favour soon! You’re good people and you have your kids interests at heart
2. Oh god do I understand you. Maybe not on the exact level, but I grew up in a poor family and my parents would buy & hide 99% of the food for themselves and leave their children to go hungry. It felt like a blessing any time one of us found a way to feed us all. I hope things get easier for you soon man!
3. Do you have any family who might be able to help you, OP?

My 28m wife 31f has started to make me uncomfortable.

A year ago my wife brought up the possibility of role-playing in the bedroom. We are very active in the bedroom. I was open to the idea and asked what she had in mind. She had a few ideas. Most of them involved fantasies that involved our job. I brought up others but they mainly get shut down.

We are both teachers. We work in the same building just on separate sides of campus.

It started with easy ones. Staying late for detention, better grade, principle and discipline, coach and athlete, etc It was fun at first.

But lately, she has started to act like her students. Attitude, dressing, and acting younger and younger. She does that when we get home. It is making me feel like a predator. She acts normal until we get home. It is like a flip has switched.

I have expressed concern and that I am uncomfortable with the way she acts. She gets better than 1/2 way through she switches back. I stop and she gets upset with me. I make an excuse for being tired or mentally drained. If I tell her I’m not into it anymore she makes me feel like I don’t love her anymore.

I don’t know how to tell her that I miss my wife. The grown-up, smart caring, and wonderful woman that I married. I can’t handle dealing with an adult child who makes me feel like a monster if I want to love my wife.

I have been making excuses lately on why I don’t want to engage with her anymore but I can’t take it. I want my wife back.

Also, I have never or will never engage with a student. Just to make that clear.

Selling everything and travelling for years – possible?.

There are ton of stories where foreigners sell everything they own and travel for years. Is there a reality where a late 20s guy can do this too without reservice/mindef obligations to worry about?

No work visa or proper documentation, just extended travelling being a digital nomad.

Edit : Sorry didn’t make this clear but financials wise is not a concern, I am able to generate income whilst travelling. Concerns are mainly if the government will let me go w/o coming back

Netizens’ comments

Possible? Yes

Will it be easy? No

What those travel vloggers rarely tell you is their background or how they are able to finance their travels. Quite a few of them came from money background or left from a very paying job, like lawyers, tech, finance, consultancy like Claire and Peter were financial analyst in an investment/bank firm. These give them a lot of wiggle room and runway from their savings to find alternative source of income. Hence, you rarely see any travellers that come from lower to middle class background

Alternatively, you will need a job that allows you travel and be independent like a digital content creator, a writer, graphic designer which isn’t very high paying until you gain a significant level of following or job that push you to travel, that will be client relations, factory visits, sales or you have a very highly demand skillset.

I have heard of travellers who beg on streets in every countries they travel in to cover their travel cost but they kinda look down by other travellers. As they are seen either taking business from licensed street performers or making a fool of themselves.

Realistically, you may consider taking a work holiday, which you get free accommodation and food in exchange for work or travel for a few months in the SEA regions on a shoestring budget.

I’m leaving my husband due to his flatulence

He used to fart in public, rank and rancid, and find it hilarious. There were gross sounding farts and often when I went to clean his clothes there was mucus in his underpants which reeked of ancient sewer systems.

I have him an ultimatum – simply to stop farting on purpose when in public and at parties and family gatherings, or I’d leave him.

He promised me. He continued his behaviour though. At a family dinner at our house, he trusted a fart and fully blew chunks into his pants.

At first he tried to say the sound and smell came from me, and I just stood up exasperated and left the table.

When the stench stayed without me in the room, everyone knew it was him and he once again tried to blame me, saying that I cooked him bad eggs for breakfast.

Everyone ended up leaving as he had literally splurted slime down the leg of his pants.

I was mortified and had to tell all of our guests about his constant flatulence later on when they asked why I was divorcing him over this.

He’s tried to win me back by promising not to fart any more and saying that he’ll even clean his own washing. It’s all too late though, for a 40-something year old man to act in such a way.

His family has suggested I support him through whatever he is going through at the moment and said that brain conditions like alzheimers run in his side of the family.

Call me cold but diarrhoea runs in his jeans and I’ve had enough, medical illness or not. I’m done. I’m leaving.

My wife (39F) and I (33M) have run out of things to talk about

My wife and I have been married for a good decade. Two kids, and live a picturesque life (in my opinion). I am committed to her and our life together. But, our minds are definitely different.

My wife is a social media lover. I’m confident she spends 4-6 hours per day on Instagram, etc. Her life revolves around those who she watches on the web. Those who she is frustrated with, what they are doing, their kids, their fashion trends, etc. etc.

She lives and breathes the lives of others online. All day. Every day. If she could, she would spend every night sitting at home scrolling through her phone.

Social interaction tires her, she works part-time (no complaints on my end), and I would say all of her recreation time revolves around those whose lives she is peering into on social media.

Myself. I am the total opposite. I have no social media. I am a very social face-to-face person. I have lots of friends, and, spend more of my time thinking about ideas. Concepts, politics, philosophy, betterment, etc. I read and socialize. But, I socialize face-to-face.

Now, where the rubber meets the road – I find when we are together, just the two of us, our conversations are flat. They almost don’t exist. The only conversations that are exciting are when I bring someone up who we both know (my family, her family, mutual friends, etc.) and she will excitedly dive into all the drama in their life. Where, truthfully, I don’t care. And I find the conversation never gets passed that.

Again, I am committed to this relationship, but, I am looking for advice. Any good ideas on how to bridge this gap? Any way that I can make our conversations lively and exciting?

I (25F) don’t know what to do with husbands’ shady behaviour(26M). Please help me.

Is this alarming?

I found my husband’s secret Instagram he never told me about. There I found pictures of him in the club, and other photos(every day) etc but in every photo his hands are visible and he is not wearing a ring in any of these.

I am so confused and hurt. First, I don’t know that he goes out, second why the ring? He posted a photo from our one trip( I know cuz of the outfit) and he took it while I was getting ready in the bathroom and I knew he had a ring on.

Why did he take it off for a photo? That Instagram is full of ‘lifestyle photos’ as I call and he seems like a different person up there than the one I know at home.

I feel hurt and lied to. Some pics are even just in his boxers( he goes to the gym and kind of has gym photos also up there but still I feel very bad).

I am thinking about leaving him actually with no explanation because I feel like he always makes something up if I ask. I know he is gonna lie if I ask. What should I do? Please give me some advice. Should I tell him, ask him why?

Netizens’ comments

1. I’d totally be like, “Honey, do you not like your wedding ring?” He’ll get confused and ask why.
   “I found your instagram full of pics without it.”
   Let this sit and watch the blood drain from his face. Enjoy that for a minute before he start gaslighting and lies.
2. He is most likely cheating or trying to cheat. I would check his phone and see if you can check his conversations from said instagram. It might be in a hidden folder/ secure folder. Also document everything. Talking to a lawyer is also good if you consider divorce.
3. Sounds like a habitual cheater thing to do. Have an Instagram that you share with friends and family. Another to give out to other people that appears ‘single’.