I have a friend working in the financial industry earning about $5k per month after cpf, minus away his bills and loans repayments, he has about $3.5k to spend every month.

He has been spending almost all of his money visiting the geylang fishtanks, like literally every night for the last 2 months, then once he no more money, come and find me and kpkb about having no money to survive and borrow money from me.

I asked him honestly, do you see what’s wrong with your life? but he just gets defensive and insists that he’s not doing anything wrong.

It’s really sad to see how much he’s been wasting his money and his life. I’m worried about him and I just want to help him get out of this destructive pattern.

And I also want my money back, he owes me about $1k and everytime I ask him about paying me back, he tells me “next week”, then next week I ask him, he tell me “next week” again.

Has anyone else been in this situation? this is really making my blood boil. How did you handle it? Is there really no hope left for him (and my money)?

Here are what netizens think:

• Invest in a ‘A’eroplane Cup / 飞机杯‘’ when need go Geylang, take out the money to be spend for the Geylang session put on table. Next take out the aeroplane Cup staring at the money while using the Cup. When finished using the Cup, take money from table and put back in the wallet. Happy man Happy wallet.

• If u can’t afford to borrow him money, just borrow him your hand, settle.

• yaa. We got one friend but he dont earn 5k. He earn more cos 2 jobs. But still post sad story no money to eat. Sad siaaaa

• Geylang got cheap cheese pies also what..Mai hiam I heard got those Sri Lanka ones only $20

My (F19) ex-boyfriend (M21) dumped me after getting me pregnant, and my parents kicked me out of the house and I have nowhere to go.

I’m feeling so lost and overwhelmed right now. I recently broke up with my ex-boyfriend and he had gotten me pregnant.

Coward wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility and dumped me. Then, my parents found out and threw me out of the house. Now I’m alone and have nowhere to go.

I’m so scared and confused about what to do next. I don’t know who to turn to for help and I don’t want the baby to suffer from my lack of resources.

I’m also worried about how I’m going to support us both. I don’t have a job and I don’t have any family members that can help me.

I’m not sure what to do. I feel like I’m in a hopeless situation and I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this.

I’m scared of being a single mother and I’m scared of not being able to provide the best life for my child.

I just need some advice on what to do next. I need to know how to get back on my feet and how to support my child. I’m also looking for advice on how to cope with being a single mother and how to get through this difficult time.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I’m so lost and I don’t know what to do next. Please help me.

Netizens’ comments

Shame on your family and boyfriend for doing this to you. Do you have any friends or relatives that can take you in while you sort things out? Stay with a friend or relative while you get a job and make some money first before you think about your next step.

My girlfriend and I had been together for a few years now, and while our relationship had gone through its share of ups and downs, we were pretty stable.

And throughout the relationship, she has always been the type to look at babies and go “awwww”, and she really loves children.

She just started work as an admin assistant earning $1.8k per month and I’m in between job, so we are not exactly in a good place financially.

So it came as a surprise when she told me that she wanted to have a baby, and we ended up having a big argument over it, where she shouted at me “if you don’t make me pregnant, then I’m going to find someone else to do it.”

Are you f-ing kidding me, we can barely take care of ourselves and you want to take care of another human life?

I was shocked and angered by her ultimatum. It felt like she was threatening to take away the control that we had over our relationship. I was desperate for her to understand how serious I was about her, but she seemed to be stuck in the idea that she needed a baby to make our relationship complete.

I tried to reason with her and explain why I didn’t want to take the risk of making her pregnant. I explained that we were still young, and that I wanted us to be financially and emotionally stable before we took such a big step. I wanted us to have a solid foundation before bringing a child into the world.

But my girlfriend didn’t see it that way. She insisted that we were ready and that having a baby would make our relationship stronger. She argued that it would give us a sense of purpose and that it would be a way for us to express our love for each other.

I tried to explain that our love was already strong enough and that having a baby wasn’t the only way to show it. I begged her to reconsider and to think about the consequences of our actions.

But she was insistent. She said that she wanted to be a mother and that she was going to find someone else if I wasn’t willing to make her pregnant.

The fact that she is considering finding someone else to do it, is raising all kinds of red, burgundy, maroon flags and I honestly don’t know if I want to continue this relationship anymore.

Any advice please?

Netizens’ comments

1. Advice? You just gave yourself the best advice, leave her. Like you said, the fact that she is threatening to find someone else to have a baby with just because you feel you are not ready, is the biggest indicator that you need to get out of there, ASAP.

How do you convince yourself to find a relationship in today’s economy?

i just find it tough to have a relationship as a responsible adult in today’s economy. i earn a slightly above median income for fresh grad, and the amount that i earned is barely enough to pay tuition loan, pay bills and insurances, buy groceries and cook myself. cant even afford to eat out at hawker, and i cycle to work everyday to save money, literally no savings at all aside from CPF.

also work is super busy and tiring, everyday go home, shower, cook, eat, do chores, then time to sleep liao.

I asked around, some people say get married can double household income, but wouldnt the expenses also shoot up with housing, and money to have kids.

there are also others that say relationship isnt all about money, some people dont mind living frugal, but i just cant get into the mindset of burdening someone else with my financial struggles.

Update: im setting aside 2k each month for tuition loan. i want to pay off that asap since its collecting interest.

without giving away my income, lets jus assume 4.5k, thats 3600 into bank. minus 2k tuition loan thats 1.6k remaining.

i give my mum $700 every month as ”rent” for staying with her, and i pay 200+ every month for health insurance and internet and other monthly misc services.

thats $500+ left for food and transport which i spend $300+ on food and $50 on transport which leaves me almost no money given that i dont earn 4.5k.

Netizens’ comments

1. If you’re at median income (assuming 4.5 excl. employer’s CPF), and with no savings
   That’s a pretty high amount of expenditure, what you have mentioned are must spends, not sure whether you’re missing anything else.
   You didn’t mention rent, but if you do have it, downsize I suppose, something has to give.
   And in relation to dating? If there’s a will there’s a way (without going heavily in debt)
2. I guess all in all main thing is.. it is not a must to find a relationship ba. So if u don’t want it, no need find lor. But if u wan it, want to have companionship etc. You got to work on the concerns u have about finding one and then start looking.
   I’m a person who don’t like to spend. Managed to find someone via the app who is a very suibian person. And tbh we have never eaten fine dining before lol cause we find not worth and like not filling haha. Coffee shop > fine dining anytime.
   As I see your situation, the loans that you have + housing (since you’re somewhat covering your mum as well), ultimately it will be cleared one day and I think some of your concerns will be relieved by then plus your salary definitely will not be stagnant. So if you really want to find, maybe give it some time?
3. For some people, being in a stable and genuine relationship is food they need for their soul that cannot be valued by monetary measures alone.

Crazy neighbour blasts his guitar on sundays around 9am, loud enough for the people on the opposite blocks to feel annoyed.

when asked to lower his volume, he scolds us back and says its 9am not 9pm, then proceeds to play even louder.

Think a police car happened to pass by and he went hysterical and went along the corridor shouting for who called the police and shouted vulgarities everywhere.

how do we deal with that idiot? can we call police on him for intimidation and harassment the next time he does this?

Netizens’ comments

1. Hello. Ur neighbour play guitar only every sun? How long does it been going on? I had been facing similar situation as u, but mine was blasting loud music everyday without fail.
   Sometimes in the late morning or evening time. For 2 hours….for me i reported to hdb yet still happening. My neighbour and me actually did call the police, but police reverted us back to hdb.
   Unless u call police, report as public nuisance. Maybe they will speak to him. To lower the music or something
2. Record video of him blasting music and gather evidence, then bring it to the police or town council and report him for noise pollution/harassment.
3. help him out, buy multiple green powerful laser pointers, and pass then around to the block opposite his. When he plays, start a light show by pointing the laser pointer into his room/unit. Coordinate with your neighbours and put up a show for the neighbourhood. This will give him the feel of a concert with laser lights. I’m sure he will appreciate it.
4. Please don’t do what the guy above is telling you to do.

I was hooking up with a guy and his toupee came off. Is there any salvaging this?

I m (27) was taking to this guy m(29) on an app for a few weeks, we met up for a drink, he came back to mine, all was going well.

We were hooking up and at one stage I got really into it and pulled on the back of (what I thought was) his real hair and the top of his hairline came unstuck.

He ran to my bathroom and locked himself in. I tried to talk him into coming out but eventually he just asked me to drop his clothes by the door so he could leave.

This was Saturday and he hasn’t responded since I text to ask if he was OK the morning after.

Is there anything I can say that would lessen his embarrassment? I feel like it was my mess up that lead to this and I don’t want to add to any insecurities, but I don’t know how to do that. Any advice would be appreciated.

To say I’m horrified is an understatement

Netizens’ comments

• He probably panicked. I wouldn’t put too much blame on the fellow.
• You handled it perfectly. You didnt make fun of him or anything. You asked him to talk to you about it and he fled like a child. Clearly it didnt seem like a big deal to you, so he has no reason to be embarrassed. Maybe losing his hair was a hit to his masculinity, but just let him know you liked him, the man, the person.
• Shave your own head to show support
• If you like him message him and ask him out again,tell him you like him and find him very attractive,tell him everyone has things they might not like about themselves but you like him as he is,asking him out again should be a compliment enough

Boyfriend lied about going to sleazy KTVs (advice needed!)

Boyfriend’s company has a history of visiting KTVs that offer hostessing services (i.e in his words girls pouring drinks, dancing, skimpy outfits in private rooms who accompany them the whole night)

He claimed that he was pressured to go and lied that he was at a work meeting but I found out afterwards.

Claims that nothing happened but nothing for me to verify, his words against mine. He does seem truly sorry but I think he was only sorry cos he got caught. If I didn’t catch him, he would have kept up the lies.

What would you do? Any bros that visited this type of KTVs before? What usually happens there?

Edit: Honesty I think I would understand if he told me beforehand, as his company usually have alcohol-involved parties/clubbing on a regular basis which I’m completely fine with. But it’s the part that he LIED & would have continued lying.

from my understanding a LOT of $$ was thrown, same girls stayed there whole night

Netizens’ comments

• Sounds like he’s just gonna keep doing it as long as he’s still working in that company, and you’re gonna continue to be not okay with it.
  Personally I wouldn’t be comfortable with a partner being in such places, I’d be thinking what kind of job is that and is it alright to change to some other company or work that doesn’t require such entertainment etc.
  I’m not the one with your partner and don’t know all the good things about him and stuff that you have gone through together etc. so you have to think for yourself about whether you can accept it and whether the good outweighs the bad or not. Probably gonna be a point of conflict each time it happens and stuff like these will accumulate over the years.
• Let me guess, your boyfriend is working as in insurance agent, isn’t he?
• If his job involves going to such places to entertain clients etc… you either have to accept or break up or unless he’s willing to change his job. Sleazy KTVs are sleazy for a reason. It don’t stop at just seeing the chiobu dance only.

NS is not honourable, it’s an exploitation

To all NSFs, regardless of rank, vocation or PES statuses:

I believe that NS is forced upon most of us, with the herd mentality that it is our responsibility to fight and defend our own country. People think that NS is acceptable, and that there is no other way around it.

The vast majority of us have to spend 2 years in an inefficient organisation, forced to work long hours and expected to uphold professionalism, yet being paid peanuts and ill-treated by some. It is really fked up that some people think this is honourable, that your son might possibly be dealing with selfish, incompetent superiors who only care about their own career progressions, or even more f-up ones who just like to play rank.

While some of us may have more positive experiences with NS, it does not defeat the fact that 2 years of your freedom was taken away from you.

Though in the view of collectivists, such sacrifices are necessary as they contribute to national defence, and that we should place the safety of our homeland before ourselves. But is it wrong to be selfish and place yourself over defending the nation? Should we be given a ‘No’ option to conscription?

Though it may not be a popular belief, but I feel that using the concept of glory/honour/collectism/moral values to force an individual to submit himself/herself to do something more than what they’re compensated for, is called exploitation.

Why must I do something outside of my job scope, my comfort zone, or my payscale just to benefit the majority? Unless you are a really righteous and noble kind of a person, else there is completely no point as to do things that do not benefit yourself.

Teachers, nurses and social workers for example are overworked professions that do not receive a proportional pay grade. Being forced to deal with long hours of shift and stress, can cause damage to both the mind and the body. Stop baiting individuals from taking up these professions with moral education. Instead, allocate more resources and compensation in exchange for the stress and hours of work they are made to deal with. Instead of using moral education to seal the pay gap.

Likewise, while national service cannot be measured in dollars and cents, it does not justify the fact that we’re paid close to 1/3 of a part time starting pay.

Also, push out more policies to protect our welfare. Why should order-in and nights out be a privilege, rather than an entitlement? Why must I eat at cookhouse if I am willing to pay for canteen food? Why am I paying the government for transportation, if I am travelling to serve my nation? Why must I do a regular’s work when I’m paid maybe 1/5 of him/her?

Though it is easier said than done, but please give all NSFs a proper, justified treatment. It is not unreasonable, but rather be fair to at least compensate us for the service we provide to the nation.

Netizens’ comments

1. Eh just shut the f up and finish your NS lah, you are not the only one who has to serve, just diam diam finish it and move on with life, no need to kpkb so much.
2. Hi OP, I understand your frustration. Im like you.
   Im now a NSMan. With 7 more reservists and just turned 31 this year unmarried, its really a waste of time.
   Im a cleaner and frankly speaking, no one cares about your NS in the CV world.
   You just do the bare minimum and just listen to your commanders. Don’t give attitude to them. Just serve and f off.
   Also, the world is really really competitive due to SG influx of foreign talents.
   The older you are, the less likely you be employed at your preferred profession because having reservist too is an obstacle to own career profession.
   NSF should be paid minimum 1-2k. Because basic needs such as transport fee and food risen higher due to GST, inflation.
   Then you’ve to think about your future, how about your marriage, whether you want to have children, aging parents. All of these cost money.
   In order to have money, you need time to earn. But with 2 years gone in the wind, you’ve to double up your effort to earn more by even work on weekends immediately after ORD besides full-time studying. Don’t wait, trust me.
3. Unpopular opinion : we need NS. Please don’t assume our neighbours are friendly.

I was in a relationship with my girlfriend and we had been together for several months.

We were both happy and things were going great. But there was a certain truth which I was hiding from her.

Don’t allow her to take taxi because I watched too much ‘fake’ taxi

Whenever my girlfriend wanted to go somewhere, I would insist that she walks or taking public transportation instead of taking a taxi.

At first, she thought that I was trying to ask her to save money but the truth was, I was worried about something else entirely.

You see, I had been watching a lot of ‘fake taxi’ and for those of you who don’t know, ‘fake taxi’ is a type of adult entertainment where the woman is picked up in a taxi and then seduced or coerced into doing it with the driver.

I knew it was wrong and I felt guilty about it, but I couldn’t help myself. I was addicted and I couldn’t stop watching.

So when my girlfriend wanted to take a taxi, I was worried that something like what I had seen in the show could happen to her.

I was afraid that the driver would be a predator or that she could be taken advantage of in some other way.

I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her, so I insisted that she not take a taxi.

Frustrated my gf afterwards

My girlfriend was frustrated after a while. She didn’t understand why I was being so unreasonable insisting that she not take a taxi.

We had a lot of arguments about it and it put a strain on our relationship.

Told her the truth

After a few months, I finally decided to tell her the truth.

I explained to her my addiction to ‘fake taxi’ and how it was making me paranoid about her taking a taxi.

I told her that I was sorry for not being honest and that I would do my best to get over my addiction. She was understanding and supportive, which was exactly what I needed.

Since then, I have been trying to overcome my addiction and I am proud to say that I have made a lot of progress.

I now try to focus on other things and I have limited the amount of time I spend watching adult films.

I also make sure to talk to my girlfriend about any concerns I may have and I try to be more reasonable when it comes to her taking a taxi.

It has been a difficult process but I am glad that I was honest with my girlfriend. I still have a long way to go in overcoming my addiction, but I am confident that I can do it.

I will continue to be careful and make sure that my girlfriend is safe, no matter how she chooses to get around.