I’m losing attraction to my boyfriend due to him being cheap.

So it can be hard to get my boyfriend to want to go and do anything if it comes to money. He’ll drop $500 on a trip or hundreds on something for a hobby it can be hard to get him to go do stuff($10-$20).

It just seems like he can easily fork out money for things for soley him but not on stuff on us together, even if I pay for myself.

It’s gotten to a point that I just offer to pay so we even go out but it’s becoming super unattractive.

Prime example I paid $80 for his birthday dinner but he wants to just bbq with friends for mine. I don’t expect him to pay for things for me but it’s hard wanting to go out having to feel like I have to pay for us both.

This is leading to resentment and then he’ll want to get intimate and I’m just not into it because I feel like he doesn’t seem to care about spending money on things for us to do together.

He even makes more money than I do and I get by fine but he’s always saying he doesn’t have money, then will go buy something expensive for him

Netizens’ comments

Money represents a lot of things – power, fears, dreams, insecurities… to name a few. To understand why this is happening, you’re going to have to figure out what it means to your boyfriend to spend money on you.

Specifically, what is it about the relationship dynamic with you that makes him reluctant? This may feel incredibly personal, but chances are, it has little to do with you. For example, it may come from a childhood experience or something his parents did.

If you’re otherwise feeling loved and respected by him, it could be worth talking it out. Try to put your feelings aside and approach him with curiosity, in a nonjudgmental way. You need to get to the heart of what money means to him.

You might even want to do some self exploration to see if there’s a deeper reason for why his aversion to spending money on you is hurtful to you.

It’s natural and normal for conflicts to come up in a relationship. When handled the right way, they can be an incredible opportunity for growth and developing deeper bonds. See if you can use this situation to get to know each other on a deeper level.

Husband (35M) says he forgives my (32F) infidelity but I have NEVER cheated!

Basically what the title says. Last night we were having an argument when he threw it in my face that if he can forgive my infidelity then I can get over the issues we were arguing about.

Guys, I’m completely blown away. He insists he has proof but won’t show it to me. Won’t tell me who I’ve allegedly cheated on him with or when I’d even have time to cheat between working full time and doing almost all the housework and childcare.

He alternated between saying that I know exactly what he’s talking about and saying I should just drop it because he forgives me so it doesn’t matter.

This morning he’s acting like the whole thing never happened. What the literal fuck? I want to bring it up but I don’t even know how??

Does he actually believe this? To everyone reading this, could you just casually continue with your life if you actually believed your partner cheated on you? Or is he just doing this to deflect from the actual issues, which we never ended up resolving after he dropped this bomb?

I don’t honestly don’t know which is worse. I haven’t spoken to him all morning because I don’t even know what to say.

But he is, or seems to be, totally oblivious. If anything, he’s in an extra upbeat mood this morning while I’m sitting here in total shock and disbelief.

Where do we go from here? What do I do? Can someone give me suggestions on what to say because I honestly feel like I’m going to cry every time I try to put my feelings into words, and he will absolutely see those tears as proof of guilt. Please help.

tl:dr Husband accused me of cheating during an argument, refuses to discuss it further, and is now pretending it never happened. I am stunned and don’t know what to do.

Have you encountered strangers coming to your house to bai nian for ang pao?

Just encountered a literal stranger coming to my house to bai nian – he held out two oranges and said he was here to bai nian.

Obviously I was pretty shocked and told my parents but they told me to tell him that they were in the toilet so cannot bai nian and no ang pao for him lol.

But apparently according to them it’s tradition for strangers to just go over to some random persons house to bai nian and get ang pao?

Is this true? Cause if so the guy must have gotten quite some cash.

Netizens’ comments

• Better not give angpows to strangers who show up at your house during cny. They may keep returning to your place to pester for monetary donations if they know that you are kind and generous. Likely to pose future risks to your family.
• Lol he think he trick or treating??
• when we first moved into our new home, our next door neighbour waltzed in through our door on her own without ringing bell or knocking and asked us what we were going to prepare for dinner for CNY day 1 because her family wanted to come over. everyone else was stunned like vegetable but my brain + mouth got no filter, so i just frowned at her and asked her “eh where got people just come into someone’s house without an invite and expect dinner on cny day 1? are you my mother-in-law or what? we no need to visit our family meh?” she turned red and tried to use the “but i thought we are neighbours so we can spend cny together and have dinner mah.” i just stared at her until she felt so awkward she left.
• It’s a very old tradition, it used to be that everyone would know everyone in the village (or kampong), so it wasn’t that awkward to go to a ‘stranger’s’ house and bai nian. However, nowadays it’s really weird to go to a strangers house and ask them for blessings and ang baos
  I have village relatives back in China that still do this because it’s their culture and it’s a small village, but idk anyone from the cities that do this anymore.
  Edit: Also some older generations still do give out Ang Baos to strangers if they knock on the door. My grandparents still do give $2 Ang Baos to door-to-door sales people (etc.) regardless.
• Wth? Never heard of this behaviour. Unless you know that person, and that person is okay with you visiting during CNY, it’s pretty rude to go to people’s house to ask for red packets.
• Nah. It’s not a tradition. You go to your relatives house to bai nian, not strangers.
  Some people might say just to get in your house. I’ve heard people have opened their doors to strangers and ended up getting robbed.
  I used to have grasscutters and rubbish collectors who happen to pass by receiving ang pow by generous homeowners. I would give too.

For some reason my son cannot wipe properly. This was never a concern to me as his mom did the laundry.

Unfortunately she is sick right now so I have taken over the household chores that she used to handle. My son is still responsible for his and I do mine as well as hers.

First day I did laundry I gagged and almost puked from his underwear. If he were three and not toilet trained I might understand how they end up like this. But he is a healthy young man. He should not be this unwiped.

I talked to him about it and he said he would make an effort to do a better job. Nope. No change in the situation.

So I went a bidet in the toilet. We already have one in our master bedroom. I told him that he has a choice of either using the bidet or washing his own underwear. He doesn’t know how to use the washing machine and he refuses to do them by hand.

He started going commando. Which just meant the problem was his jeans now.

So I said that we might need to take him to the doctor to see what is wrong with him. If it’s physical or psychological.

I also said that the next time his friends were over I was going to ask them is they left their underwear in the same condition. I WOULD NEVER ACTUALLY EMBARRASS HIM LIKE THAT.

He said I was being an a-hole and he called his mom to tell her what I was doing. She said that he was just like that and I could deal with it until she was better.

I don’t think that’s a great plan. If this kid never learns to clean properly he will suffer when he’s older.

He has started using the bidet but he says that it is gross and weird. I said it was grosser and weirder for a young man to crap his pants every day.