I (22F) hooked up with a 52 year old (probably married) man and it’s my biggest regret

I don’t know why I’m posting this as I’ll probably get a lot of hate and feel worse. I have a long history of having issues with impulsivity, and have gotten myself into a lot of bad situations but this one is the worst.

I always had this fantasy of being with a much older man but never acted on it until this past October. He found me online and after only seeing one picture of his face I agreed to have him over to my place that same night.

As soon as he got there I knew it was a huge mistake but when he got undressed is when I really got scared. His body looked even older than what he said he was so he could’ve even been lying which makes it worse.

He was just so old and gross. I also look younger than I am, with a flat chest and young face which I think also makes it worse, I don’t know how old he was perceiving me as.

I basically froze and just laid there barely making a sound just waiting for it to be over. After I told him to leave and escorted him out and pressed the elevator button for him and ran back to my room.

I was so dry during it I was bleeding after. The next day I couldn’t stop crying. I wanted to throw everything innocent down the trash like my stuffed animals (which were on the bed) because I was dirty and ruined.

He told me he was separated and without thinking I believed him, but now I almost know for sure he was still married with how he was sneaking around.

I’ve tried searching everywhere online for info about him but I think he gave me a fake name because I can’t find anything. I just wish I could tell his wife everything and expose him.

If my parents knew about this they would never look at me the same. I’ve told a couple friends and my therapist but that’s it. But even if I did find love I’m scared to get married now because what if my husband ends up like this man, cheating on me with young girls.

I know I’m going to get a lot of hate for this but also know that a lot of girls who do things like this and are promiscuous are really just insecure and hurting badly inside, so think a bit before you judge them. Or judge them/me, I can’t control that, just know we hate ourselves too.

My son wants to be a Landlord and is insulting me because I am a tenant.

My (41m) son (15m) has taken a keen interest in becoming a landlord but has also started insulting me for not owning my own house.

I am glad to see he has taken some initiative however I am concerned about his mindset. We currently live in an apartment and he has told me that I am a “failure” and a “rentoid” and that he is “embarrassed to be related to someone without any properties.”

I tried to explain to him that homes cost a lot and that I have worked very hard to provide for our family and that there is nothing wrong with choosing to rent. I also explained to him that Landlords often mistreat their tenants and that if he wants to be a landlord he should work on being a kind one, however he has insisted that it is the right of landlords to charge whatever they want and has said when he is a landlord he wants to “evict single mothers” which I found very concerning.

This month my son offered our landlord a 50 dollar “tip” out of his own money. I tried to explain you do not “tip” landlords but he insisted I was being a “greedy renter” and taking advantage of the landlord. I explained that we paid significant rent already but he did not listen.

Before this started he was really into video games and did not seem to try very hard in school which I found concerning. his words hurt me and I feel his mindset is not constructive and compassionate. I don’t want to discourage him but I am very worried about him.

Losing sleep over losing hair

I met a girl. We got on really well and are both looking for the same thing (long-term r/s). After multiple dates and signs that she likes me as more than a friend as well, here’s the thing:

I’m bald.

I’ve been wearing a wig to our dates, and she doesn’t know. I know… I’m a catfish and an a-hole, but if you’re not bald you probably don’t know how looking like this in your early 30s completely destroys one’s self-esteem.

I want to be honest with her before we officially enter a r/s. How would you break the news to her if you were in my shoes?

Here are what netizens think:

• I’m in my 20s and already have receding hairline with the distinct “m”, along with a high forehead. I foresee becoming totally bald in my 30s and thats what I’m going to rock. Forget about how other people look at you, focus on how you look upon yourself first. If you can accept being bald and walk around with confidence, I believe you’ll feel much better with or without a partner. You’ll know when the right person comes. Trust me I know how you feel.

• What is your view after watching those full/drastic make up video of woman before & after? If you think you feel cheated then be prepared to face the reality too. If you think all women deserve the chance to be called as beautiful after their makeup means you have the possibility to get her acceptance too. After all, how you treat or regards others will have a reciprocal effect to own self.

• Dude, she doesn’t know yet this is chewing on your conscience. So obviously it’s affecting you more than it’s affecting her right now. Just tell her lah and see how she reacts. Just don’t hope that she will understand you completely, and if she doesn’t, she’s probably not the right person for you. For all you know, she probably already guessed you’re wearing a wig… Be brave about this…

How hard is it to find a man who doesn’t want kids? (33F dating 33M)

My boyfriend (33M) and I (33F) have been dating for a little over two years. He definitely wants to have kids and I’m pretty sure I don’t.

We’ve had several discussions about it and he knows I’m on the fence and mostly leaning towards no. I think he thinks that I’m going to change my mind, but I don’t think that’s likely. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I keep coming back to not wanting to have them.

The cons outweigh the pros for me and I think I’d be happier childfree. I’m going to have another discussion with him about this soon and make it clear that I most likely won’t change my mind.

He’s probably going to break up with me cause it’s a dealbreaker for him, which I’m prepared for.

I feel like most people want to have kids and I’m a little fearful I won’t find someone who doesn’t. How hard is it to find a man who doesn’t want to have (and doesn’t already have any) children? We live in a major metropolitan city so meeting new people isn’t hard.

ETA: No one has really asked but I just wanted to clarify that I thought I’d probably have kids when we started dating cause that’s what most people do, but the more seriously I thought about it, the more I realized I don’t want them.

My girlfriend feels uncomfortable with interacting with my family because my dad does not acknowledge her when she visits (won’t even look at her in the eye, even when she calls him / tries to talk to him).

It’s her second time meeting him and he does not reply at all too.

I think it is because he is an introvert and hence I think it’s alright for him to do that. I did not say anything because he is an elder and I cannot change him because that’s his character.

Also, my family speaks dialects most of the time because they are used to it. Whilst my girlfriend does not understand it. Hence she does not understand most of our conversations.

My family doesn’t exactly include her in conversations so she feels left out. For context, my family can speak and understand mandarin as well.

But I think she should try to integrate in instead of my family accommodating to her.

How do I make her see my point of view?

Here is what netizens think:

• If u go to her house and her family treat u as such, how will u feel? Dont so self centered can? Since your family already kinda not communicating with her, what she needs is you to be there with her, supporting her. U can be the translator, teach her also. Asking her to make effort is not the way. Please try harder.

• From your post, we can easily tell that you are very self-centered and immature. This relationship will not work if you do not step up soon. Give and take is the way to go.

• If you are worth her effort, she will try to integrate as you wish. But I guess, she is not worth enough for you to try harder and be on her side. And I feel sorry for her.

• Simi? She’s already trying liao (by your own account she tried to make the effort to speak to your dad multiple times, despite not getting a response, and isn’t speaking more only because your family dw to use Mandarin), if you want a connection between her and your family, you + your family should be meeting her halfway also.

I found my husband and sister together

Before I start, I want to apologize if the English isn’t correct. Keep in mind that English isn’t my first language. I (40f) and my husband (42m) have been married since I was 22 and he was 23.

Up until now our marriage has been perfect. We have a 12 year old daughter and a 14 year old son together.

But lately I have been getting this weird feeling that my husband is in love with my sister. For short context my sister (43f) has always hated me, even though she was out parents favorite growing up she just had the hate for me and always took away things like I loved like for example when I was younger I loved playing soccer and was good at it, when my sister found out she also started playing soccer she was good but not better than me (not to brag).

One day she injured her ankles and was told she couldn’t play soccer for a long time and somehow it was my fault. She told our parents and being their favorite angel they believed her and banned me from playing soccer ever again.

She also stole my first boyfriend and mistreated me in school but I never said anything and mostly kept to myself.

Back to now. I had the feeling that my husband was in love with my sister because when she and her husband got divorced she called up my husband immediately and he went without a second thought. That’s how it has always been when ever she needs him, he’s there with her without even a second thought.

About two months ago our 12 year old daughter broke her arm and we went to the hospital with both me and my husband while my son was at his friend’s place.

We got home and my daughter asked if she could get McDonald’s and so I went out to get our daughter some McDonald’s because she wanted it and she also wanted her dad to stay with her (she has always been a daddy’s girl)

when I came back home I found my husband on his way out with our daughter crying and begging him to stay.

When I saw it I quickly rushed over and asked what was happening and I found out he was going to my sister because she wasn’t feeling well and I asked him why was he going there when his daughter literally just broke her arm and he only answers your sister needs me and left.

After that I got super angry and packed a bag for me, my daughter and my son and went to stay at my aunt’s place (she was the only one of my family that agreed that my sister was a brat so I spent most of my childhood with her) two days after I had to go back home because I forgot my work computer and when I got there I was shocked at what I saw.

My husband and my sister were on the sofa of our family home doing the dirty work. When they both noticed me they were quick to get their clothes back on and my husband ran to me telling me that this wasn’t what it looked like and that this was all a misunderstanding.

I stood there for a minute because I yelled back at him how he could have done this to me and if I meant nothing to him and I yelled that I want a divorce and left.

When I got to my aunt’s place I went into the room I was staying in and broke down crying. I don’t know what to do. I already told my aunt and she is furious. She told our parents and most of our family members even though I asked her not to but at the same time I’m happy she told them because I don’t have the courage to do so.

My husband and sister have been blowing up my phone with text messages but I just ignore them. I don’t know how I’m gonna tell my kids. What do I do?