Anyone else in their 30s like me?

No friends, no messages other than from colleagues for work, eat lunch alone, no motivation, no desire, no enjoyment in life, no ambition, no hope and nothing to look forward to in life?

Everyday come home from work just eat, shower, pull down pants and goon and edge while surfing forums and watching videos on your second monitor until 12am then lie down on bed and surf forums on your phone until you’re too tired and your phone starts dropping on your face? Then wake up and repeat it all over again and the same thing on the weekends?

Unable to “get into” things like other people, tried hobbies such as basketball, soccer, football, badminton, tennis, table tennis, squash, cooking, baking, drawing, painting, woodworking, reading, daytrading, cycling, canoeing, kayaking, swimming, surfing, snorkeling, traveling, eating, cafe hopping, bungee jumping, bowling, learning new languages, writing, acting, ice skating, model building, origami, photography, video editing, mahjong, yoga, calligraphy, meditation, singing, dancing, blogging, video games, card games, table top games, board games, jigsaw puzzles, boxing, kickboxing, mixed martial arts, darts, drinking, smoking, gymnastics, fencing, golf, breakdancing, rapping, train spotting, bus spotting, birdwatching, parkour, cricket, shopping, watching movies, watching dramas, programming, fishing, rollerblading and other stuff

but you never got into them or felt passionate about those kind of things and can’t understand how or why people feel so passionate about doing those kind of things?

Netizens’ comments

I can so relate to you. Consider this though – how we are as adults is by and large a product of our childhood – the way our caregivers treated us and the life skills we picked along the way.

I am impressed that you can literally list all the things that doesn’t work for you and honest enough to share that edging is how you cope.

They do help but in your state but they sound like unhealthy copying mechanisms.

Is there something that you might even consider as enjoyable apart from what you have written above? Maybe try to do it even 2 minutes a day. If you are keen to watch videos – I do suggest watching videos on atomic habits or those by Dr Andrew Huberman.

and as shared by a few people here – you may want to consider seeing a GP to get a referral for a psychiatric evaluation or maybe see a counselor, there are many free or low cost ones out there.

I wish you well and if possible, do let us know of your progress ok? Some comments might be discouraging but some of us here do care even though we are nameless strangers.

Because in many ways, we are all struggling too.

I was really excited for Chinese New Year this year. I had been thinking about how I could look my best for the festivities, and I thought I had the perfect plan.

I was going to buy a gold ring to show off to my friends and family. I would look super fancy and everyone would be impressed.

My excitement quickly turned to panic when I realized I didn’t have the money to buy the ring. I was short on cash, so I decided to buy the ring on my credit card. I thought to myself that I would have plenty of time to pay off the debt before the interest rates skyrocketed.

At the jewellery store, I was presented with a wide selection of gold rings. I couldn’t believe my luck. I spent what felt like hours trying to find the perfect ring. In the end, I settled on a beautiful gold ring with a diamond in the centre. It was a bit pricey but I thought it was worth it.

The next day, I proudly showed off my new gold ring to my friends and family. Everyone was impressed and I felt really proud of myself. I was sure that I was going to be the most fashionable person at the Chinese New Year celebrations.

Little did I know that my joy would be short-lived. Two days after I bought the ring, I started to think about the upcoming statement from my credit card company.

When I saw the amount I had spent on the ring on my i-banking, I was shocked.

My heart sank as I realized that I had made a huge mistake. I had spent way too much money on the ring and now I would have to pay it off with interest. I was embarrassed and angry at myself for being so careless.

I learned my lesson the hard way. Credit cards can be a great way to buy things you need, but they can also be a dangerous trap. The interest rates can quickly add up and you can end up in a lot of debt if you’re not careful.

So, if you’re ever thinking about using a credit card to buy something, make sure that you really need it and that you can afford to pay it off in full. Otherwise, you might end up like me, regretting your purchase after just two days of showing off.

A friend asked me along to visit her friend, I said OK, since it’s not the first few days.

There was blackjack going so not wanting to rain on their parade, I joined in. I decided only small bets, capped at $20. I could kind of tell that they thought I was a bit of a sucker, I come from a good family and they were a bit rough around the edges.

I ended up with beginner’s luck and won $200 plus.

After enduring the usual sore loser with black face tantrums, the act tough people are always childish infants deep inside so it’s to be expected.

We left, hopped into a cab and that friend insisted I pay for it. She was always calculative before, conveniently taking rides I give her for granted. So I said, if I lost, would you want to share my debt too?

She tried to argue that she brought me there like it was a favour but kept quiet after I gave her the evil eye.

I didn’t ask to go, she asked me. Frankly, was a bit of a rough crowd that I would have never chosen and felt uncomfortable.

Her jaw dropped.

I’m usually very patient and dislike arguing so it was surprising I guess.

I no longer spoke to her after that, it’s sick how she penny pinch her end and I have no issues splitting at all.

But she won’t ever calculate in my cost or efforts like as if I’m her free taxi driver.

I felt she was a gold digger although we were platonic friends. I felt she already benefited, still act like a big shot, swinging her weight.

She gave up her share with a grumpy face like I was the mean one. So hard to get her to cough up $10. LOL.

What’re your CNY horror stories? Let it rip!

As I write this, I’m still trying to comprehend the enormity of my mistake.

I recently made the mistake of gambling during the Chinese New Year festivities. I was feeling lucky, so I thought I’d take a chance and try my luck and play big with my relatives.

Little did I know, it was a decision that would cost me dearly. I ended up losing an enormous amount of money. It was so bad that I had to sell my Rolex watch to cover the debt.

At first, I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I had been so successful in my business and was used to having money to spend. This was the first time I had ever been in a situation like this. I had been so careless, so foolish, and I felt like a fool for my mistake.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this wasn’t the end of the world.

Sure, I had lost a lot of money, but I was still alive and I still had my health. I decided to accept what had happened and move on.

In my family, it’s different, its not just $2 per hand black jack. It’s $200 – 500 a hand.

The first thing I did was to come up with a plan. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to pay off my debt with my Rolex, so I decided to sell it and use the money to pay off my debt. This meant that I wouldn’t have any money until I had paid off my debt, but I was determined to make it work.

I sold the watch and used the money to pay off my debt. I was relieved to have it off my back, but I was also a little bit sad to be without my watch. It had been a part of me for so long, and I felt like I was saying goodbye to an old friend.

After paying off my debt, I was still without cash. I will have to make some changes in my lifestyle to make it through the next few months. I had to cut back on my spending, and I had to be smart about how I used the money I had left.

Never ever gamble in my life again.

Heartbroken

Yesterday my girlfriend of 5years have broken up with me because she fall in love with her co worker.

Throughout our relationship, there wasn’t a major issue and it was full of happiness. We have BTOed and I was planning to propose this coming April after my internship. I have even brought the engagement ring..

However, ever since she joined her company after graduation, she has been hanging out with her co workers after work, started to go drinking and go clubbing.

Initially I thought that it was fine because I have faith that she is faithful and committed to our relationship. Hence, I did not stop her and even showed her my understanding when she just went MIA when she’s out with her co workers.

Just few weeks back, she started to be cold towards me. Love gesture from me she also show signs of turning off which makes me wonder what happened. Initially I thought that it was due to her busy work schedule that made her tired. Turns out, she told me that she did not feel the same anymore and she has fall in loved with one of her co worker(he is in a long term relationship too). I have ask her how far did they go and she told me that nothing happen and it’s just feelings. When I request to see her texted between her and the guy, she has deleted it..

We have met up yesterday and I told her to make up her mind to either

1) text the guy and draw the line infront of me so that we can work on our relationship.

2) break up

And she ultimately choose to give up our relationship..

I am heartbroken… how can I feel happy again?

I’ve always been one of those people who like to stay busy. So when I heard about a friend of my uncle’s looking for someone to help him download special videos from the internet, I was more than happy to take the job.

My uncle had recently met a man at a party who wanted someone to help him download videos from the internet. He said that he was paying $50 per full 500GB hard disk of new videos and that the job was easy.

After hearing this, I immediately agreed and my uncle put me in touch with the man.

I got to work right away and started downloading the videos. I was very careful to make sure that I only downloaded videos that were of his taste. I downloaded the videos on my own computer and then transferred them to the man’s computer.

The man was very pleased with my work and paid me well. I was surprised to find out that he was actually quite knowledgeable about the adult video industry.

He knew the code name of the Japanese videos and it was easy for me to do the job.

The man also asked me for advice on how to keep his computer secure. I advised him to use a good antivirus program and to be careful about what websites he visited and sold one for him for $50 (Windows Defencer XD). I also recommended that he be careful about what he downloaded from the internet and that he should always double-check to make sure his downloading videos and not virus.

I was paid for my work and my uncle was happy that I had made some extra money. I was also glad to help out someone who needed the help. I learned a lot from the man and was pleasantly surprised to find out how knowledgeable he was about adult videos.

Sus BF

I want to share something that has been haunting me even after one year and it is still very heartbroken. I decided to say it out in the hopes that it will not haunt me as much.

My bf (35) has been really secretive with his phone since we were together. And then, he met this girl at work that he kept mentioning about. Immediately, I knew it’s a red flag.

I wanted to be cool about it and let him have female friends, so one day they went out alone and I allowed, though not feeling good about it. He then went and called me at night to tell me what they did. Only after a few months, I found out they went to a different place than what I was told. Fast forward, I started to snoop his phone, and found out he kept asking her out and even ask inappropriate questions (but not sexual related).

So I asked him to block her which he respectfully did.

Fast forward again, after being together for 4 years, I accidentally found out that he has a weird fetish that is illegal and I considered that as disgusting and sick.

I was super shock and did not know how to handle it. Then that night I snoop again, he has been doing it throughout our relationship and my own sister was a victim too.

He did try to explain it to me, but when asked why multiple times, he couldn’t answer. He even got mad at me for snooping. How could I not since I’ve been foolishly been lied to for the past 4 years? Since then, we also don’t do the deed as frequently anymore. Maybe a few months once only.

Fast forward again till today, it’s 5th year now, yes I’m still together with him because, without all these episodes, he was a great man to me, nice and all. But this still haunts me these days that I have nightmares about him cheating etc.

I will also have episodes of depression, but I’m not diagnosed officially because it’s expensive. Tried to look for a shrink but had to wait 4 months for cheaper ones. In the end, I gave up.

I really needed an outlet to rant this out, thank you for this.

I recently got fired from my job after I had a relationship with a married colleague. It’s been a difficult few weeks, and I’m still trying to make sense of it all.

It all started when I started working with this colleague. We had an immediate connection, and soon we were spending more and more time together. We kept it professional during work hours, but it soon became clear that we both had feelings for each other.

After a few months, we decided to take our relationship to the next level. We started dating, and it was the best time of my life.

But then it all came to an abrupt halt. We had been dating for a few months when I found out that she was married. I was shocked and felt like I had been betrayed. It was a difficult moment, and it took me a while to process it.

I didn’t tell my employer about our relationship, but it soon became clear that they had found out. They called me into a meeting and told me that it was against their policy for employees to date colleagues. They told me that I was going to be fired for violating their policy.

I was devastated. I had never expected that it would come to this. I had thought that our relationship was private and that it wouldn’t affect our work. I felt like it was an extremely unfair policy and that I was being punished for something that wasn’t my fault.

Then the joke was, I was fired but she did not get any forms of punishment

I tried to appeal the decision, but it was no use. The company wouldn’t budge. I had no choice but to accept the consequences of my actions. My relationship with my colleague had cost me my job.

Looking back, I can’t help but feel a sense of injustice. I know that it was wrong to have a relationship with a married colleague, and that it was against the company policy.

But I also feel like the company’s policy on dating co-workers was inhumane. It was a zero-tolerance policy, and didn’t take into account any extenuating circumstances. I feel like it was an outdated, draconian policy that didn’t take into account the complexities of modern relationships.

I’m still trying to come to terms with what happened. I’m still trying to move on and find another job, but it’s been a difficult process. I know that I have to take responsibility for my actions, but I also feel like the company should have had a more flexible policy and taken into account the complexities of modern relationships.