CNY … Haiz… Thick skin relatives

Just need to get some steam off.

I don’t get why my relatives can be so unhygienic…

We also very suay our relatives decided to come at dinner time, and buay paiseh keep hinting very hungry.

We just wanted to reheat our reunion steamboat leftovers (have a lot because they keep asking for this that and my cousins also bought some ingredients over) to have a simple meal but some of them are vegetarian (on chu yi), some have allergy.

Plus they hint hint till we cannot act blur liao. It’s the elders and not the younger ones, at first my cousins say just buy fast food but the elders … … Actually why they can’t just end the visiting and go find their own food since they want so customise! And they have the cheek to say “oh we previously at uncle X house, dare not ask them for food lah, paiseh.” Then come our house ask for food buay paiseh!? We owe you ah?

In the end we go buy from Malay and indian store nearby. Since have to separate if order on Grab. There is 10 of them, cost us over $60. (And it’s because we didn’t buy enough for 10)

In the end, the noisiest one, eat a bit only then complain heaty, spicy lah… Wah piang! What you want?

Nevermind, after dinner, we served them fruits. We got some oranges, grapes and plum. Wah piang, they left the seeds and pits unwrapped all over our table! Seriously!? We provided them with ample of tissues and 2 bins (only half filled when they left) and they cannot throw inside but must leave on the table!?!?

Then the toilet, cannot aim and cannot clean, the toilet bowl seats full of visible yellow droplets. The tap still got soap residue… We provided a hand towel at the toilet door for them to wipe their hands but I discovered my bath towel got curry stain… … Is it the 2 years without visiting due to Covid have made them forget basic manner? If you dripped, at least wipe them off lah! And I don’t believe you can’t see the tap still have soap residue lo!

They say want to come over again next weekend, say arrange potluck. I told them straight we going to Malaysia. Better siam fast fast.

Coming from money has spoiled me and ruined my drive.

Most people here will laugh at this or dismiss me as an ungrateful privileged brat but coming from money has ruined my ability to get anything done.

I understand that I have it better off than those in poverty but living in wealth with no need to work for anything has been a miserable existence.

My family is what you would consider nouveau riche, with my father being raised in lower middle class and making everything by himself.

But rather than pass his drive and grit he has done nothing but overwhelm me with excess. As a teenager I used to be more introverted and would prefer to stay in and play minecraft rather than go out, this confused him and he pushed me to go out, spend money in clubs and restaurants with his friends kids and enjoy a life of excess.

I guess I understand where he is coming from, never having had any of this I guess he wanted to give me all he never had.

But after years of unlimited credit cards, expensive habits, I find myself at 24 with absolutely no drive.

Why would I work? I have a credit card that I can get anything with, a nice car that takes me anywhere, for god’s sake I even have maids that clean up my room so I don’t have the basic skill of organizing my surroundings.

I am essentially a 24 year old child.

I am sure the reaction I will get here with be overwhelmingly negative as this problem sounds absurd. Most of you will think me spoiled and out of touch with reality. The worst part is you would not be wrong, I absolutely am. But having enough self awareness to realize this, combined with watching all my friends work hard, achieve goals, and make something of themselves, has left me completely empty inside with thoughts of ending it all rather than live on as a spoiled adult living a life that consumes but does not add to the world.

Financial advisors and their unrealistic expectations. Why?

I used to follow a couple of advisors from the same advisory group till i realized wow, it’s just different p**p dressed in different designer clothes preaching the exact same thing. And yes, the majority of their contents are similar to other advisory groups; “What if I tell you you can retire early?” “What if i tell you you can maintain your lifestyle WITHOUT spending too much?” “What if i tell you you can have financial freedom?” and then they’ll preach about aiming to earn $10k to $14k by 30 and that it’s doable for everybody if they put in the effort.

And oh, by the effort they meant….? Yea, no follow up. Not trying to be a sour grape, but. majority of us in Singapore are working for a fixed monthly income +- the random overtime. Yes they preach side-hustle, but how many of us really have the time and energy to do that? Unless we work from 9 to 6 and then teach tuition at night and do grab over the weekends. But for. majority of us, our main career is already draining us.

And for them to preach earning $10k-$14k a month, it’s ridiculous and it breeds toxicity. That people who don’t earn $10k, are way behind the curve. Unless you work in IT or banking, I believe a majority of us Singaporeans might not even reach that $10k mark. But of course, for them $10k is definitely achievable; sell scammy products to unsuspecting victims and your commission adds up, and boom $10k. Sounds like a prostitute to me or an onlyfans creator to me just that they’re selling different parts. Same same. Also, morality issues. At least prostitutes and only fans creator are upfront with their intentions, which makes them more respectable than the scums.

A hotel employee won’t randomly get $10k by checking in more people, nor will a waiter earn $10k for sending more plates out but hey, life goes on.

Netizens’ comments

• its not. they basically sell u the unrealistic course for few hundred $$$. then if u dumb enough to subscribe … thats where they earn their money.
  not through “side hustle” or “dropshipping” or whatnot
  if im rich why would i sell my recipe for success, thats like shooting myself in the foot
• People selling “get rich quick” or “how to invest” courses are preying on gullible people. They do so by promising things that are objectively amazing (having passive income, making tons of money). The more you struggle, the more you dream of it. It’s unfair and bad, but that is how these people make money.
  As long as people dream and have hopes, there will be other people preying on that sadly.
• They’re just trying to sell you a dream so you’d pay for their course. There is no such thing as fast and easy money. Eventually, only they benefit from the course fee you paid and you’d still be back at your $3k/mth job. You can only side hustle so much before you burn out and fall sick which isn’t worth it because medical bills aren’t cheap.
• Basically Financial Advisor (FA) are no different than a normal any salesperson (only that FA are governed by MAS). Only that all FA try to glorified all their work. And sadly, the society we live in often view people equipped with branded goods successful or at least successful at what they do. I’m sure you have that one friend that wears all branded goods and somehow you felt he might be doing well or doing not too bad. So with all these external elements attached, suddenly people will feel unrealistic expectations isn’t that unachievable anymore. At end of the day, FA is still just a sales job, and many of the FA are also being painted unrealistic rewards but how many of them made it? IMO, It’s a sunset industry with more and more technology replacing FA.

Anyone else in their 30s like me?

No friends, no messages other than from colleagues for work, eat lunch alone, no motivation, no desire, no enjoyment in life, no ambition, no hope and nothing to look forward to in life?

Everyday come home from work just eat, shower, pull down pants and goon and edge while surfing forums and watching videos on your second monitor until 12am then lie down on bed and surf forums on your phone until you’re too tired and your phone starts dropping on your face? Then wake up and repeat it all over again and the same thing on the weekends?

Unable to “get into” things like other people, tried hobbies such as basketball, soccer, football, badminton, tennis, table tennis, squash, cooking, baking, drawing, painting, woodworking, reading, daytrading, cycling, canoeing, kayaking, swimming, surfing, snorkeling, traveling, eating, cafe hopping, bungee jumping, bowling, learning new languages, writing, acting, ice skating, model building, origami, photography, video editing, mahjong, yoga, calligraphy, meditation, singing, dancing, blogging, video games, card games, table top games, board games, jigsaw puzzles, boxing, kickboxing, mixed martial arts, darts, drinking, smoking, gymnastics, fencing, golf, breakdancing, rapping, train spotting, bus spotting, birdwatching, parkour, cricket, shopping, watching movies, watching dramas, programming, fishing, rollerblading and other stuff

but you never got into them or felt passionate about those kind of things and can’t understand how or why people feel so passionate about doing those kind of things?

Netizens’ comments

I can so relate to you. Consider this though – how we are as adults is by and large a product of our childhood – the way our caregivers treated us and the life skills we picked along the way.

I am impressed that you can literally list all the things that doesn’t work for you and honest enough to share that edging is how you cope.

They do help but in your state but they sound like unhealthy copying mechanisms.

Is there something that you might even consider as enjoyable apart from what you have written above? Maybe try to do it even 2 minutes a day. If you are keen to watch videos – I do suggest watching videos on atomic habits or those by Dr Andrew Huberman.

and as shared by a few people here – you may want to consider seeing a GP to get a referral for a psychiatric evaluation or maybe see a counselor, there are many free or low cost ones out there.

I wish you well and if possible, do let us know of your progress ok? Some comments might be discouraging but some of us here do care even though we are nameless strangers.

Because in many ways, we are all struggling too.

I was really excited for Chinese New Year this year. I had been thinking about how I could look my best for the festivities, and I thought I had the perfect plan.

I was going to buy a gold ring to show off to my friends and family. I would look super fancy and everyone would be impressed.

My excitement quickly turned to panic when I realized I didn’t have the money to buy the ring. I was short on cash, so I decided to buy the ring on my credit card. I thought to myself that I would have plenty of time to pay off the debt before the interest rates skyrocketed.

At the jewellery store, I was presented with a wide selection of gold rings. I couldn’t believe my luck. I spent what felt like hours trying to find the perfect ring. In the end, I settled on a beautiful gold ring with a diamond in the centre. It was a bit pricey but I thought it was worth it.

The next day, I proudly showed off my new gold ring to my friends and family. Everyone was impressed and I felt really proud of myself. I was sure that I was going to be the most fashionable person at the Chinese New Year celebrations.

Little did I know that my joy would be short-lived. Two days after I bought the ring, I started to think about the upcoming statement from my credit card company.

When I saw the amount I had spent on the ring on my i-banking, I was shocked.

My heart sank as I realized that I had made a huge mistake. I had spent way too much money on the ring and now I would have to pay it off with interest. I was embarrassed and angry at myself for being so careless.

I learned my lesson the hard way. Credit cards can be a great way to buy things you need, but they can also be a dangerous trap. The interest rates can quickly add up and you can end up in a lot of debt if you’re not careful.

So, if you’re ever thinking about using a credit card to buy something, make sure that you really need it and that you can afford to pay it off in full. Otherwise, you might end up like me, regretting your purchase after just two days of showing off.

A friend asked me along to visit her friend, I said OK, since it’s not the first few days.

There was blackjack going so not wanting to rain on their parade, I joined in. I decided only small bets, capped at $20. I could kind of tell that they thought I was a bit of a sucker, I come from a good family and they were a bit rough around the edges.

I ended up with beginner’s luck and won $200 plus.

After enduring the usual sore loser with black face tantrums, the act tough people are always childish infants deep inside so it’s to be expected.

We left, hopped into a cab and that friend insisted I pay for it. She was always calculative before, conveniently taking rides I give her for granted. So I said, if I lost, would you want to share my debt too?

She tried to argue that she brought me there like it was a favour but kept quiet after I gave her the evil eye.

I didn’t ask to go, she asked me. Frankly, was a bit of a rough crowd that I would have never chosen and felt uncomfortable.

Her jaw dropped.

I’m usually very patient and dislike arguing so it was surprising I guess.

I no longer spoke to her after that, it’s sick how she penny pinch her end and I have no issues splitting at all.

But she won’t ever calculate in my cost or efforts like as if I’m her free taxi driver.

I felt she was a gold digger although we were platonic friends. I felt she already benefited, still act like a big shot, swinging her weight.

She gave up her share with a grumpy face like I was the mean one. So hard to get her to cough up $10. LOL.

What’re your CNY horror stories? Let it rip!