I was always a bit of a romantic, which is why I was so excited to get married.

My husband and I had known each other since school and our relationship was based on trust. We had talked about marriage for years, and when the moment finally came, it was even more special than I had imagined.

But something changed after we got married.

My husband started to be very controlling and possessive of me. He started to demand that I take the pill, even though I had been on the pill for years before we got married. He wanted to enjoy S without having to use a rubber, and he thought that if I was on the pill it would be easier for him.

At first, I didn’t think much of it and just went along with it. But as time went on, it started to feel like he was forcing me to take the pill. He would get angry if I refused and would try to manipulate me into taking it. He even threatened to break up with me if I didn’t take it.

I felt like I had no choice but to go along with his demands. I felt like he was taking away my autonomy and my right to make my own decisions about my body. I tried to talk to him about it, but he wouldn’t listen. He just kept insisting that I take the pill.

Finally, after months of this, I had enough. I realized that I had to stand up for myself and my own autonomy. I told him that I would not take the pill and that he had to either respect my decision or leave. He was shocked, but he eventually agreed to respect my decision.

Months later I caught him cheating behind me, when I confronted him this is what he said:

“I don’t get it at home so I get it outside”

We are in the midst of filing for a divorce. I am contemplating and thinking should I have just gave in to him and took the pill?

Singaporeans, what is a hill you are willing to die on? What are some opinions you stubbornly hold on to in the face of strong opposition (real or perceived)?

Netizens’ comments

• Restaurants should not be charging for water. The increased cost for water is simply price gouging and the insane profit margins aren’t flowing down to the restaurants staff
  • Also, how much water can any one customer drink? 1¢ worth?
    Water is $3.69 per cubic meter at the highest tier. Per cubic meter. That’s 1000 litres or 1 ton of water. 1 litre is thus 1/3¢. Even water buffalo also don’t drink enough to warrant charging.
• why am i getting asked to tip when i got a service charge already sia, also, can restaurant menus just include gst and service charge ornot and not exclude them
• Singapore’s creative industry is one of the worst in the world
  • To counter, as someone who’s worked in the creative industry for 10+ years, I’ve seen countless super-talented people born and bred here. These are people who are really excellent in their field, be it film, illustration or music production.
    Guess what they’ve all done? Migrate overseas, to places like the US or UK. It’s not that our people aren’t talented, but rather, the talent is completely wasted here.
• That living in Singapore is really much better than a lot of other places. While we should highlight areas of improvement, we cannot forget that we take many things for granted.
• 10% or more of the boomer population in sg are super lucky to have made their wealth through the purchase of property in SG.
• Some places should be out of bounds for children. Ie places with sensitive items kids may damage (like art museum), or restaurants where adults can dine in peace without kids screaming.

The news that I was pregnant was both exciting and devastating.

After all, I had been trying to get pregnant with my partner for months and months. But when I told him the news, his reaction was not at all what I had expected. He said that the baby couldn’t possibly be his, because his “tadpoles” weren’t working.

I had no idea what he was talking about. He said that he had a medical condition that prevented him from producing healthy sperm.

He said he had been told by a doctor that his “tadpoles” weren’t working, and so it was impossible for him to be the father of my baby.

I was completely shocked and devastated. I had no idea that he had a medical condition like this. We had been together for over a year and I had never even heard him mention it before. I felt like he had been keeping something from me all this time. I was angry and hurt.

He exploded on me saying that I was cheating. I kept quiet, I did have a few encounters behind his back.

When I asked him why he hadn’t told me about this earlier, he said he was afraid I would think less of him. He said he wanted to protect me from the truth and he didn’t want to hurt me. He said he knew it would be hard for me to understand and he didn’t want to risk losing me.

I was so confused and upset. I knew I was still pregnant and I had to figure out what to do next. I asked him if he wanted to be involved in the baby’s life, and he said he did. He said he wanted to be there for me and the baby, even if the baby wasn’t his biologically.

At first, I was hesitant to accept his offer because I didn’t want to be with someone who was lying to me. But after talking it through, I realized that he was still willing to be there for me and the baby, and I decided to give him a chance.

But months later he decided to go MIA on me and I could not find him and he refused to answer his door. I finally caught wind of him and my friends told me that He had got together with another girl and said that I was unfaithful.

Now I am stuck, my ONS blocked me my bf left me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be a single mother.

[24f][35m][33f] My bf spent a large amount of money on his female friend while my car was repossessed.

I’ve been with my bf for 13 months. 6 months ago I lost my job. I was already struggling before that but it pushed me over the edge and I started to get further and further behind, to the point where my car has been repossessed.

I was getting by doing deliveries so this is obviously devastating.

While all of this was happening my bf spent over $1000 on a Christmas gift for his “best friend”.

I never expected him to pay my bills, but he saw me struggling and didn’t offer any help at all. He didn’t spend anything close to that on my gifts.

At first I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but as things go one I am finding myself more and more resentful.

When I mentioned it to him he said its his qnd his “friends” thing to spend a lot on eachother, and that she spent a similar amount on him.

I just broke up with my girlfriend, Sarah. It’s a decision I’ve been considering for some time now and it’s one that I know will hurt her.

But, I had to do it. It all started when I met my new girlfriend, Natalie.

Natalie is everything Sarah isn’t. She’s beautiful, successful and most importantly, she’s got money. She’s got more money than I ever dreamed of having. She stays in a luxurious condo in town area, and she can afford to buy whatever she wants.

She’s also a lot more confident and independent than Sarah, and she’s got a lot of ambition.

But, it wasn’t just the money that drew me to Natalie. I was also attracted to her personality and the way she treated me. She was always supportive and encouraging, and she made me feel like I could do anything. She was also really supportive of my goals, which was something that Sarah just never really did.

So, I decided to break up with Sarah and pursue a relationship with Natalie. It was a difficult decision, and I’m sure Sarah was hurt. But, I felt like I had to do it. I wanted to be with someone who shared my goals and dreams and who could help me achieve them.

I know it sounds shallow, but I also wanted to be with someone who could provide the kind of life I had always dreamed of. I wanted to be able to travel and experience life in a way that I never could have before. I wanted to be able to afford nice things, and I wanted to be comfortable. And Natalie could give me that.

I know this isn’t an excuse for treating Sarah badly, and I regret any hurt I may have caused her. But, I felt like I had to make a choice, and I chose to pursue a relationship with Natalie. I hope Sarah understands that I still care about her, but that I just had to make this decision for my own happiness.

So, here I am, in a relationship with Natalie. I’m excited to see where it goes, and I’m looking forward to this new chapter in my life. I know it won’t always be easy, but I’m confident that I made the right decision.

I’m optimistic that this relationship will bring me a lot of joy and satisfaction, and that I’ll be able to achieve my goals with Natalie’s help.

My mum is emotionally abusive. When I was younger, she used to make sarcastic remarks whenever I look into the mirror. From then on, I never dared to look into the mirror and felt like I was really ugly.

I was fascinated when I started noticing that girls actually used or stared at the mirror in the toilet to doll themselves up. I felt ashamed whenever I look at myself in the mirror.

Now I just take a quick glance to ensure there’s no food stuck in my teeth.

When I showed her care and concern, such as asking what she wanted to eat, she will scream and shout at me outside. I felt so embarrassed.

I kept wondering what have I done. I started avoiding her and moved out. People around me, such as my previous boss, immediately said I should move back home and that I should be filial when I told him I’ve moved out.

She intentionally picks up fights at home, knocking on my door while I’m still asleep. She starts vacuum the floor when I am in virtual calls, or watches television really loudly when I’m focused on my work.

Wish there was someone to confide in. Inherently I want to be a filial daughter, help support her, take care of her. But the mental and emotional disturbance is too much, hence I moved out.

But in places such as Singapore, moving out seems to be a taboo or a big deal.

Married couples shouldn’t have children if they didn’t plan for one. I feel unwanted. I wish I wasn’t born. Please don’t have children if you don’t have the capacity to show love.

Here are what netizens think:

The only way to understand why she does these things is to learn about her life experiences and perhaps you’ll uncover some trauma that led her to behave this way.

This could well be a cry for help, or she’s trying to push everyone away in order to reinforce a negative perception she has about herself (that she doesn’t feel like she deserves love etc)

I feel that the best solution is to remove yourself from the negative environment and love from a distance to heal yourself first before trying to help her. I’m convinced she loves you the most and her psyche is probably trying to push you away in order to reinforce that negative message. Assure her and come back to her 

Ill-informed people like your boss/friends who played the filial piety guilt trip card aren’t any more helpful. These ancient values are good at teaching respect for elders but don’t address the underlying (mental/emotional) medical problem – When mishandled it can send you both into a spiral.

I hope you’re able to find strength to heal yourself first and then help her.

I graduated in 2021 and 5months into my first job, l was informed that i did not pass probation. Lack of initiatives and making repeated mistakes were the main reasons why i was let go. Instead of citing that i failed probation, my manager allowed me to tender resignation so it doesn’t look like i was let go due to incompetency (I am not sure if this helps for future job applications). I was really demoralised and i felt so incompetent as the job itself wasn’t difficult since it was mainly adminstrative duties. I questioned my capabilities and if I’m suitable for any corporate jobs out there. So for the past year, I struggled with getting a permenant role and I don’t feel “ready” to start a full time role so I have been doing short term contract in different industries. What I did was mass apply and accepting any offer that comes first.

As I am reflecting on my job history, I realised that i have learned nothing for the past 2 years. I don’t like my current job and my contract is ending in may, I am thinking of applying back to my first job industry.

Can anyone advise me on my career path and are there any chances of me getting a second chance in the industry that i failed probation in? Does the HR knows that i failed probation or it would be seen as a resignation from their side?

Also, how can i be a more responsible and professional employee?

TIA for all the career advice!

Here are what netizens think:

• Given that you were dismissed prior to the 6 months mark, I think the manager is likely being honest with you since the company is already entitled to dismiss you. Therefore, if your HR system records the departure as resignation, it should be fine. But of course, HR may be a bit sceptical of candidates who leave at exactly the 5 months mark, suspecting the truth. Maybe not though

• HR of the interviewing company may contact all your past employers/HR dept listed in your resume to ask about your performance. If you don’t want HR to contact the 1st company, just don’t list it in your resume.

• google the 64 interview answers, understand the answers to see how hirers think. it is not rocket science. study for the exam like how NUS trained you.

• The Hr would probably question why you have never stayed long on a job. Regardless of industry, I think you should really think about the feedbacks you were given and how you could have done better. Take ownership in what you do and think about the consequences of your actions? It may be common sense, but whatever you do may affect someone else’s work. Just try your best to not impose on others.

• You concerns now is probably not the probation but the past 2 years of short term contract job. Nonetheless can still try to find a job you would like to have, keep trying but prepare to answer why during interview.

I can’t stand my boyfriend’s friends, and while it hasn’t always been like this, it’s becoming increasing uncomfortable knowing that they’re going to be in his life (and inadvertently mine).

we’ve been together for 6 years, coming 7 and for the earlier parts of the rs we got along well, until i realised that they’ve been actively using each other to lie to their gfs and cheat on them.

A couple of his attached/married friends even made advanced on me which I’ve rejected and told him. I thought he would stand up for me but he hasn’t.

As much as I want to believe that my bf isn’t like them (birds of the same feather flock together), I can’t because he’s already cheated on me several times and while I’ve chosen to forgive him.

I’ve asked that he distance himself from them and that we discuss meeting them together when we’re in a better place rs wise but I think he’s been meeting them behind my back and lying about it and I don’t know what to think of it.

Here are what netizens think:

• To be honest, you cannot control his friends’ influence in his life and that includes the degree of influence they have inadvertently, on yours. It’s either you learn to compromise where possible and let them be, or if it gets too much, end this relationship and find a guy whose friends are less harmful. His friends aside; him cheating is already THE reason enough to leave, no?

• Leave the whole lot, including ur 6yrs bf. Dont stay just because ur rs is long, even a married couple for longer yrs can divorce if the spouse is cheating. U want to live this way everyday or u want to have a better life with someone who doesnt cheat? Its up to u though so think about ur happiness and what kind of rs u deserves

• just so you know, his behaviour is probaby not caused by them. accept this fact first then decide on where you want to head in the relationship.

No work life balance and equality at a hospital

My spouse works as an admin in *hospital name redacted*. Their workload keeps increasing, due to people leaving and the HR saying no headcount to replace those who have left.

So far about 3 people have left but only 1 part-timer was hired. So the workload keeps being distributed to the remaining staffs, adding on to their work.

The off work timing is 545pm (Mon to Thu) and 515pm (Fri), but the management likes to hold meetings or discussions at 5pm or even 530pm, and normally this things will take more than 1 hour to end.

Even if you are on leave, you are expected to the meetings via zoom. If not, you will be ‘targeted’ by the higher-ups.

For those who are taking the charted bus when going home, they are allowed to go off at about 15min earlier, but those who do not are not allowed to leave earlier.

And the salary is also biased towards guys of the same rank/position, as their salary tend be higher of about few hundred to close to a thousand more.

Netizens comments

• Change job lor.. This is Singapore leh.. Hard to find a job with work life balance..
• Can ask your spouse to change jobs? Perhaps somewhere closer to home? As for salary.. you can try to research for the reasons why guys are paid slightly more.
• I think your partner does not speak out for herself/himself and does not understand how their HR works. Everywhere is high turnover rate, not just *name redacted*, if the company is not good for your, go to the next one, if the department is not good for you, go to the next one. Perhaps your spouse is too comfort in her/his own zone so when company cut cost and do budgeting and work loads get tougher you say *name redacted* is not good..