He cheated an Im not having the baby.

I am relieved to have ended my relationship with my unfaithful partner. Our age difference and his cruel, dishonest behavior were red flags that I had ignored for too long.

Despite the ups and downs, he had been unfaithful for a long time. When I found out I was pregnant, it was heartbreaking, but he was overjoyed.

However, a few weeks ago, I discovered that he had been cheating on me with multiple women, which shattered my heart.

I was faced with the decision to either have a baby with a liar and regret it or to terminate the pregnancy.

I chose to terminate the pregnancy without his knowledge, and it felt liberating to see him fall apart and deny everything.

Some of my friends and family may disagree with my decision, but I am happy with my choice.

My husband (36 M) has gone too far and I (28 F) think I should leave him

First off, my husband exhibits extreme immaturity/lapses in judgement. Early on in our relationship, he slapped me across the face during an argument.

I honestly should have left him then, but I was pregnant at the time. He was immediately apologetic and swore he’d never touch me again- a promise he’s kept ever since.

Yesterday, I found out that he had fed our baby son Michael panadol after he complained of feeling dizzy/sick.

My husband eventually fessed up after he was caught. He sheepishly said that it was totally safe.

I’m extremely angry with him and so fed up with his antics. I can personally handle his nonsense, but when it involves my child I draw the line.

He keeps telling me that I’m overreacting, but I can’t forgive him and will probably leave him. I’m worried about the legal process involved and don’t want our son alone with him period. Additionally, I don’t make enough money to support myself and Michael without my husband’s salary.

Am I working smart?

We all have deadlines at work. One thing about me is I am really efficient, so I tend to finish my work/report etc., well before the deadline.

Sometimes I submit them earlier in case my management or bosses need to make amendments. However, I only tend to “allow” them to give feedback once.

Let me explain. Let’s say I have a deadline on Friday, and I submitted on Monday. I received some feedback and comments and so worked on the amendments and resubmit on Tuesday. Now, if I receive more requests for amendments, I will hold of submission until the very last minute so that nobody will request for more “incremental” amendments to be made.

I realised that if I do my submissions right on the deadline, there is usually no further amendments required.

Is this being smart or just being lazy?

Here are what netizens think:

• If u had to ask this u must be very young / fresh frm school

• I no longer submit to management..its just a waste of time. If they want to get involved, they have to be there all the way, from beginning till the end. No one gets a free ride, not even management.

• Submit early is better than late

• Depends on ur pay la dude. If u are earning 20k salary, even last min amendments also do until 1 min before deadline. If u are earning 6k megere salary, 10 days before dealine also no amendments la.

• And u got the cheek and ego to say smart or lazy, basic principles also dont understand. U still think u are worth to use the word smart?

I [28M] don’t want to around my brother’s [26M] girlfriend [26F] because she constantly records everything for TikTok and also has a personality that I just don’t like, and it’s ruining my relationship with my brother

They have been dating, apparently they’re in love and I’m happy for him but personally I find her extremely annoying and I don’t like being around her, she’s extremely loud and has a lot of energy which isn’t surprising for her age and even though I don’t like it I don’t hold that against her.

However what I do hold against her is that she is some sort of TikTok influencer and records everything to turn into a TikTok, at dinner she took out her phone and was recording so I put my hand over my face and I said no recording please and instead of being respectful she just posted that with “my boyfriends older brother doesn’t like social media LOL”.

This is something that I take extremely seriously, I don’t want my face online and the only people that I’m ok taking photos or videos of me are my parents or grandparents because I know that it’s just for them and they’d never show anyone.

This is not the first time that she has done this and I feel like I don’t really have any options, if I respond appropriately and tell her to f off if she does that I am going to be posted online and made to look like a crazy person, even if she agrees I don’t trust her and I’m not going to have a nice time with my family if I am unsure whenever her phone is out, and I’m not going to tell her that she can’t bring her phone into my house or to a restaurant or wherever else because that’s insane and not my place to do.

The effective result of this is that I can’t hang out with my brother because I cannot go to his house and I cannot invite him over or to a restaurant, bar etc because I feel very awkward saying that I want him to come but his girlfriend that he lives with is not welcome.

He texted me today and said that he doesn’t know what he did to make me angry at him because he knows that I had people over and quite a large party for my best friend’s birthday last night and didn’t invite him and I’ve been making excuses not to hang out with him for the last couple of months.

That almost makes me want to cry because I love my brother a lot but I don’t really know what to say, it’s pointless for me to say exactly what I’ve said here because it won’t do anything, he’s not going to mess up his relationship for me — and I wouldn’t want him to — by excluding his girlfriend, all that he’s going to say is that he will talk to her and that I should give her another chance, but honestly I don’t want to give her another chance, her personality isn’t for me, I don’t like being around her and I don’t want to waste my limited amount of free time with people that I don’t like being around so I will either say that and nothing will be achieved aside from maybe an argument or I’ll feel guilty and say “ok” and be right back in this position

The love was never gone

We were friends first. We shared a lot of hobbies together. We accompanied each other during the pandemic era.

I fell for him first but I never confessed. He was the one who proposed to try to be a couple one day but the relationship was short-lived because he was already going to move to another city to study. He said we were incompatible. He said he didn’t know if he can do long distance.

He said he didn’t know what is going to happen in the next 4 years. He said he’s not ready to commit. I was devastated but we still continued to be friends but we still acted like a couple along the way. I know I will be the hurting more in the end. I made plans to move to the city he’s in as I was frustrated with my current job and I had plans to leave anyway.

Eventually, I got a job offer and was going to move there. But, plans crashed. He said he found another and was serious about her. I was devastated by the news. What hurts more is when he decided to just cut me off completely. He knew I loved him but he never loved me regardless of the things I did for him. I know love is selfless and I never blamed him for that.

9 months has since passed. I remembered the journey to healing was very painful but I took step by step by day. He was a lot of my firsts. I did everything I could for him to come back but he never did. Eventually, I no longer wait. One day, I coincidentally met him at the airport. I couldn’t recognize him at first because he was wearing a mask. But my gut was telling me I recognize those eyes.

I knew we were heading to the same destination. He waited for him at the departure hall. He didn’t walk over. Maybe he recognized me too but didn’t want to see me. I plucked my courage to search for him and saw him taking off his mask. It was him. I walked over to say hi even though I know he said he refused to see me anymore (p.s I don’t know why. Probably giving the both of us a clean cut.). We chatted a bit. He was doing well, both in studies and relationship and I’m happy for him. As I watched him, I knew my love for him was never gone but I couldn’t do anything anymore.

He was still the same guy I fell in love with but different. As we parted ways (we were going to the same destination but on different planes), I watched him as how I see him for the last time when I flew over to visit him last time. I never hated him but feelings gushed back after that as if I never left but he was long gone. I’m glad that we met again and I hope this is not the last time I see him again.

I guessed the love was never gone.

As I look back on my uni years, I can’t help but feel a little bit of regret.

I was a bright and ambitious student who had big dreams of one day becoming a successful business owner.

But, things didn’t turn out as I had planned. I failed my university degree and it has taken me years to get back on my feet.

Things weren’t always this way. I was an outstanding student with a bright future in front of me. I had all the necessary skills to excel in the business world. I was surrounded by friends who were all doing well in their studies and I was sure I would join them in their success.

But, unfortunately, I was wrong. I struggled to keep up with my studies and eventually, I failed my degree. It was a huge blow to my confidence and it felt like my dreams were slipping away. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my failure.

I took some time to reflect and it made me realise that I had taken a wrong turn. I had put too much pressure on myself and had not taken enough time for myself to relax and enjoy life. I had focused too much on the future and not enough on the present.

My friends who had done well in their studies were now well on their way to successful careers and I felt left behind. I was jealous of their success and felt like a huge failure for not achieving the same.

But, I’m now in a much better place. I have realised that my failure at university was not a reflection of my abilities but of my choices. I have learnt to be more mindful of my decisions and to take more time to appreciate the present.

Now, my friends who did well at university are now working for me. I own a successful business and I have been able to create a team of talented and hardworking individuals to help me grow my business.

I am so proud of my friends and I know that I am very lucky to have them working alongside me. It feels amazing to have achieved success despite my failure at university.

I have learnt a lot from my experience and I want to share my story with anyone who is struggling with the same issues I faced. I want to show people that failure does not define you and that you can still achieve success despite your mistakes.

No matter how hard things may seem, never give up on your dreams. You can always find a way to make things work, it just takes a little courage and determination. Believe in yourself and you will be able to achieve anything you set your mind to.

Women are such hypocrites

I really can’t stand it that women are such hypocrites despite being one myself.

This is to all the women who call themselves feminist, advocating to be a strong independent women, likes to talk about women’s right, equality, being on equal standing with man. You, yes you, educated women with a job.

Before you throw all that new age personal branding around, please act like what you advocate.

If you have got boyfriend, fiancé, husbands who are generous people and willing to pay for dates, buy gifts, finance your expenses at very early stage of the relationship, or courtship, that’s you I am talking about.

Before you argue that the relationship is not built on their generosity, please reflect on all your dating history and the expenses. I will say it is their generosity that bought opportunities and time for feelings to develop. I mean, who will say no to a date when the guy pick you up, fancy dinner, activities all paid for, and send you home.

And if you are going to argue that you can afford the dating expenses too then why aren’t you ladies paying for dates? Or now that you guys are married, are you splitting family expenses equality?

No. These women are such hypocrites.

I am not saying that man should not do all these or that these women are gold digger. What I am saying is people can be a lot more aware if what they believe in, what they feel about something, what they advocate, and what they do actually aligns or not.

rant: is it possible to save the rs or help my gf if she refuses to seek help?

i don’t know if my gf has an anger mgmt issue, is schizo, bipolar or smthg else but wtv the case is, i just hope she can get better

normally she is super nice, very sweet, even thoughtful. but once in a while she transforms into someone i don’t even recognize. i live in stress everyday for fear of her fiery temper and i have no idea when it will next strike.

she is also an avoidant. when she is angry she will disappear on me and even block me on social media with no warning. other times when she did not go so extreme she just goes on a few hours long screaming match at me while i can only listen.

the strange thing is she is normally a good person so it is not like she is like this everyday.

i love her a lot but it has already been two years and the situation has not improved. she is super touchy about the word mental health so it is impossible to suggest to her that smthg may not be quite right or she shld learn better habits. i have tried to talk to her about this when she is her normal self but she forgets all her promises the next time she gets pissed.

when she gets pissed she will also insult me and say a lot of things which are just not true. it is really hurtful and damaging. i am not sure if i should take these to heart and discuss the content of what she said each time? as they say no fire no smoke. roughly once a month she breaks up with me and we patch back again two days later all on her own accord.

i am super shag.

Here are what netizens think:

• Instead of trying to put a label to her behaviour, ask yourself why are you still with someone who instils fear in you? Does this feel familiar? Did you grow up around people who behave in a similar fashion? Sometimes we are attracted to what feels familiar when we’re young and not even realise it.

A part of you also have to accept that you played a part in this situation. If you didn’t know how to stop it, you can leave. But you didn’t. Why? Most people who are aware of their own boundaries would have lost patience in less than 2 years.

Instead of trying to diagnose her, ask yourself why have you been enduring this for so long. Face your own demon instead of trying to make her face hers because there’s no way you can change how she treat you as long as you’re still around.

• It’s a little presumptuous of you to say that she has a mental health issue because of her anger. Girls get ESPECIALLY pissed off when you label her anger as a mental health issue. It’s like calling her crazy. All you’re doing is just aggravating her.

Most of the time,a nice girl with anger issues have underlying causes or stuff that she’s been bottling up. You need to find out what it is and work together to solve those issues. Also find healthy outlets for her to vent instead of just relying on her to make promises to improve while you just sit and wait for things to be better.

If she is hesitant or can’t trust you to tell you exactly what’s wrong,chances are the problem is you! If you think you’ve done all you can and still things don’t work out,then it’s best to leave. Some things can’t be fixed no matter what you do.

• You cannot force healing on the unwilling. This is especially the case if she doesn’t see her own behaviour as a problem. This doesn’t mean you can’t work on things from your end though.

You can adjust the way you respond and cope with her outbursts, although you should be prepared that this will be an extremely draining approach for you.

Any unilateral effort in a relationship is an uphill struggle from the onset. If you do decide that she is worth the effort and sacrifice, seeking professional help for yourself would be prudent.