Rejected because I haven’t hooked up in a number of years

So I (M27) managed to go on my first date since 2016. We clicked a lot on various issues and interests, our date went well and started to make plans via text after I had took her home.

We were planning and chatting along, to which she brought up when was the last time I had slept with anyone.

I was caught off guard (this should have been a red flag in asking such a question this early) but told her it had been around 3-4 years or so since I had.

She didn’t reply for almost 30 minutes until she texted back to tell me she wasn’t comfortable with someone that had not been intimate with anyone in such a “long” time.

I texted back asking why was this an issue as she had never mentioned it until then, but never got a reply back.

The last week has made me feel extremely worthless as I had been struggling socially for a few years now, and now I feel like a freak of nature for being out of the game for so long.

What should I do incase she decides to text me back for whatever reason?

How much money do I need for early retirement in 3rd world country?

M23, Still in uni but like they say plan early. So I m planning to retire by 30+. How much do I need to retire in a 3rd world country in Asia or Africa? Since retiring early in SG is near impossible.

Netizens’ weigh in

• $500k can get you around $15k interest (conservative 3% a year) which translates to roughly 15 million Indonesian plus you can get a long term digital nomad pass by showing you have 200k in your account. The long term pass is for 10 years. Rental can be as cheap as a few hundreds a month for a villa in Bali.
  Sounds like the perfect retirement plan chilling by the beach
• Your annual expenditure should represent 3-4% of your total capital invested in the stock market.
  So if you’re living somewhere very cheap and expecting to spend all in say 2.5k USD per month, that’s 30k USD per year, meaning you should have 1m USD invested in a diversified ETF.
  Then you can withdraw 30k per year from your investment account every year, and as per historical returns you won’t run out of money.
  You can read up on the concept of SWR (safe withdrawal rate) if you wanna learn more.
• Bro I’ma be 100% with you, most Singaporeans aren’t nearly street smart or tough enough to live in true third world shitholes. Worst most of y’all can tahan is Malaysia or Indonesia or maybe Thailand
  You don’t want to know how they feel about Chinese looking types in Africa or other parts of Asia. Police won’t help you if someone steals you shit and beats you up, and once you leave coming back to sg will impoverish you even further
  You maybe think you’ll live like a king but the rich people in those countries aren’t protected by money, they’re protected because they own the generals/politicians that run the army. Your 200k sgd will be lining some modern Idi Amin’s pocket while you rot in some shithole on fake espionage charges. Sg govt might not even be able to save you
• If you want something like in tge middle range , you could retire in india for about $200000+ probably your flat to , very comfortably with a landed house and a nice car
• 35 yo can buy 300-350k resale rent out $3k/month
  Can sustain indefinitely in any neighboring country

RecruitFirst agent not replying to salary payment

Hi, I applied for a one month part time job through the agent and have completed all my shifts. I then contacted the agent to ask about when the pay would come in.

He replied that he was no longer working with them and gave me his colleague’s phone number. I messaged his colleague, who replied that my pay should come in on 8 jan.

I didn’t receive it, so I contacted her again. I didn’t receive a reply. It still hasn’t come in now, and I have messaged her again, but she isn’t replying.

What can I do to get my pay back? It’s over $1000 so I really need to get it back.

I’m planning to file a claim under TADM if I don’t receive my pay by the 15th. Should I inform her about this first so that they would pay up?

Thank you!

Netizens’ comments

1. if i were you, i would proceed with filing, and then notify them that you have done the filing. that would hopefully kick them awake and start taking you seriously.
   they have breached the deadline 8 Jan and now you’re posting here 4 days later. transfer money in singapore is pretty straight forward so it make zero sense 4 days later you still not receiving what’s due to you.
2. It’s already way past the date, so no need to wait until the 15th. Just file the claim first, then inform her that you have already filed a claim and give her the relevant documents.
3. Lmao… I guess it’s quite a common thing in Recruitfirst. I had my job back in April last year for a 3 month contract. Guess what, during this 3 months, my agent changed 3 times. Like who tf changes their agent every month? LOL
4. Just go through TADM. Don’t wait. There is a deadline for salary claims made through TADM.

How to (SIAM) Diu?

Hi everyone, my boyfriend (26M) recently started working at a company that has a strong drinking culture and the night will progress to patronising a seedy Ktv with hostesses.

The company is male-dominated and these outings are sort of “team bonding”- expenses paid for by company.

I trust that he will not engage in the services of the hostesses, but I would definitely prefer if he doesn’t tag along all the time.

I understand that socialising and establishing valuable connections are important, and I’m not sure if him refusing to go Diu will reflect badly on him-

would he miss out on opportunities, and are there actually ways to siam the night without consequences?

Any advice appreciated! For females with partners in this situation, how do u grow to accept it? Especially when there’s nth u can do and just trust that they will always do the right thing.

Netizens’ comments

• My friend’s gf told us that she had similar concerns at the start. But after knowing that he’s too stingy to spend $ on hostesses she feels much more secure
• ooh, my brother was in such a company too for a while. I strongly believe that men with any morals just get densensitized, which also means if he can’t control himself then he’s not worth the effort. He will definitely miss out on opportunities but definitely the best is get a better job.
• stop assuming men have feelings when going to these places, to some it’s just exercise/work out at the gym
• Make him wear a chastity belt meh?
• uncomfortable then ask him change job. ‘Siam Diu for life, Siam Bu for wife’

The SIA Cabin Crew crush.

Just want to share my thoughts after reading the comments left by the readers:

1. Aren’t most SIA stewards gay? Like 90%? Most of the crew are not good-looking but are all meticulously groomed. Meeting a good-looking steward is so rare but meeting one who is not straight is very common. My steward is seriously handsome and well-groomed but very rushed and can I say also kinda “bit**y”?

2. The flight industry is well-known for their promiscuity. Touch-down, party and sleep around is the norm unless you want to be an outcast and this is seriously very sad. There are some who are in the industry just for money and will avoid partying and stay in their 4-stars hotel room, save money and quit in 3 years before next contract or something. Being materialistic is a thing too since branded goods are cheaper aboard and you again may become an outcast if you don’t carry some brand on you, etc. All-in-all, being a steward/stewardess you have to be okay with the crazy flying schedules, missing out special holidays, being harassed by everyone including your superiors and passengers etc. I really do feel for them. Being a passenger is so great and I love SIA. Loyal customer here.

3. Towards the year-end of 2022, Stewardess and Stewards can be mask-less. However not all will choose to do so. Or knowing how hierarchical it is working at SIA, they maybe chosen to be mask-less or can mask-up based on how attractive they are.

4. I am not a 45-year old aunty lah, just saying. Not pretty but definitely not ugly lor. He closed the curtain on me at the galley but it’s not because he feared for his life. I was just minding my own business.

5. Sharing how I felt when I encountered a good-looking steward is my way of moving forwards. You know how it is with crushes. You can’t just tell anyone and you may have an unrealistic hope that the other party had noticed you. Of course with my case, no lah.

But if anyone from the SIA cabin crew is reading this, can you help me spread this post around hahaha.

My boyfriend got mad that I only spent $20 on him for a date

I (24f) went on a date with my bf (24m) recently in celebration of our 1 year anniversary.

Money has been running tight recently since my bf was fired from his job recently. I knew he was really upset about the whole situation so I wanted to cheer him up, and I thought taking him out to dinner for our 1 year anniversary (which was coming up) was the perfect way to do so.

I took my boyfriend to one of my favorite restaurants from my childhood. It wasn’t a high end restaurant because I make like 1/3 of what he used to make but nevertheless he loved the interior design of the restaurant and the food.

We were having a great time until the waitress came and told us our combined bill was going to be a little under $45. My bf looked at me weirdly but I thought I imagined it so I ignored him and paid the bill. After the waitress left to get a box for our takeouts he turned to me and asked, “So that’s how much you value our relationship after one whole year of being together?” I was confused and he said, “you only spent $40 dollars on our one year anniversary date.”

I asked “What’s wrong with that? And plus the prices were printed on the menu.”

He said, “You were supposed to pay. Why would I have looked at the prices? And every time we went out I always spend hundreds of dollars on you.” I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to cause a scene and he raised his voice and said, “I see how it is. I’m only worth $20 dollars to you.”

Then he left the table and told me I can go home myself. I feel really bad and I apologized many times but he’s still mad at me (understandably) and things have been awkward.

Marriage Advice

Me and my husband had been married for 7 years. We’re both in our early 30s. I would say that we have a loving relationship. I feel really blessed and happy to have him as my husband.

Until recently I found out that he has taken the effort to mute and delete his Telegram chat with this girl who’s his colleague. When confronted he denied and made excuses about it, saying that it’s just normal chat conversation and he deleted it because he didn’t want me to think too much about it since I’m more of the jealous type.

In any case, I’ve been thinking about the reason he lied to me/ keep this girl’s conversation a secret. If there’s nothing to hide, why the need to delete the chat? He even muted it in case her chat pops up when I’m around.

I’m afraid I might be overthinking. Should I be worried about my marriage?

Here are what netizens think:

• Some personal info she share with him doesn’t mean she has to share with you. Hence he deleted it. Knowing your pattern, he probably thought it’s the right thing to do to avoid a confrontation.

• Definitely a red flag at the same time, he wants to keep the marriage just that not sure how far he is in this relationship with his colleague. Since you have a 7 years of great marriage and if it’s worth to keep, instead of getting mad, handle it with love and have a heart to heart adult talk to how best manage the situation. They will never admit when you confront them and your relationship can only get worst as you both will fight more often over it. So first thing first, ask yourself if he admits to having something with her, do you want to forgive him and keep the marriage? Can you then not talk about it when you both fight? You can never forget but you can only learn to let go of it and try to trust hi, again at least 90% as I think it’s hard to trust 100%. All the best.

• My ex did the exact thing right before i found him cheating. Deleting chats and started needing “alone” time, bringing his phone everywhere even to the toilet etc

• No. He is protecting the marriage. But the more you feel insecure, the more you will be unattractive. Why not put your effort & energy to think about other things. Wait if you keep asking & asking, you will be the one he mutes and delete the chat. Haha annoying.