Feeling suffocated in Singapore lately

I’m one of those Singaporeans who genuinely loves Singapore and appreciates our country despite its flaws and shortcomings. While my friends say they’d run and flee the country if war breaks out, I’d be one of those who’d stay and fight. I went to a local uni, studied extremely hard, started working this year, drink a cup of teh c everyday, and appreciate the relationships and things I have that others may not. I travel once or twice every year and have always come back to SG each time with a sense of appreciation for the food and things we get to enjoy.

Yet for the first time ever, I am experiencing feelings of suffocation after coming back from an overseas trip. The walkways feel smaller, housing feels meagre, our education system feels rigid, and SG as a whole just feels that much more constrained. I’m referring, in this case, to the amount of land, diversity of geographic features, things to do, types of people that we come across, and etc. There’s a sudden urge for me to get out and live somewhere bigger and have new experiences and meet people from different backgrounds and cultures and see how things could be better (or worse) and perhaps stray a little from the conventional Singaporean path.

Now I’m able to relate a bit better to people who express the desire to leave the country or change things here or simply want to be able to experience something different. It hit me that if a Singaporean like me can feel this way then I can imagine how many others do too.

Wondering what are your thoughts and if you share the same sentiments then is there anything you’re doing about it with regards to how you live your life.

I found out that my husband and his ex gf shared a bed together

I’m livid. I feel sick. I feel so betrayed.

It all begun last year. It’s a long story but I(30F) let my husband (35M) stayed at his ex gf (33F) apartment.

They were childhood friends before they started dating. When I met her a couple of years ago, I thought she’s really nice. People describe her as the nicest person, a good friend and has a good sense of humor. They say she’s very honest and incapable of lying. Needless to say, we eventually became friends and trusted her with all my heart.

Last year, I had to go on a business trip for a few months. My husband (fiance at that time) share an apartment but since I’m working overseas for a couple of months, we decided to have him stay at his parents until I’m back.

Weeks after I left, my husband, Sam (not his true name) called me asking me if he could stay with Rebecca (his ex, not her true name) as she’s desperately looking for a roommate but can’t find any. At that point, all I said was, “But aren’t we trying to save money?”. He told me Rebecca isn’t looking for a roommate because of the rent. She just don’t want to be alone in her apartment. I honestly haven’t thought that it’s weird because they were ex lovers but somehow it made me a little uncomfortable. She lives in a 1-br apartment. Like, where is he going to sleep? He explained she has a couch etc. I told him that it’s fine with me. I trust both of them but I only have one condition: They will never share a bed. He laugh and said “Of course babe”.

The entire time Sam stayed at Rebecca’s, they never really made me feel I couldn’t trust them. They would video call me, we’d play games online etc. it was fun. Rebecca would also call me sometimes just to chat. We talk about make up, her tinder date encounters, and some other stuff that doesn’t involve my husband.

One night I was feeling homesick and called Sam but he wouldn’t respond so I called Rebecca. She answered the call. The minute she picked up I could hear another person in the background that sounded like they just woke up. I can’t tell if it’s Sam but it’s a guy. Rebecca put me on hold for a bit. I honestly felt something is off that time but decided to brush it off. I asked her where Sam is, and she said he’s sleeping. I asked her where and she said on the couch. I was like, okay… we ended up talking instead. I felt better and almost forgot about it.

Fast forward to last week, Sam and I met up with his friends, including Rebecca, for a Christmas party. Everyone is having fun, getting drunk, then suddenly Rebecca asked me how I’m able to sleep when my husband snores too loud. And before I can answer, Sam said “wow, at least I don’t sleep weird.” Then he showed everyone a photo of her on the bed in weird sleeping position. What bothers me is in the photo, you can tell someone laid next to her… Blanket was a mess and there’s a shirt on the bedside table. A shirt I recognized…

I was shocked and left the party without saying anything. I went to my parents and stayed there til Christmas. My husband and Rebecca were calling me non-stop asking where I am. I am lucky my parents didnt tell them I was with them. They also didnt ask me what happened.

I didn’t talk to anyone what happened until Christmas. I asked my husband and Rebecca to go to my parents. That’s when I asked them to tell me the truth. At first they deny that they slept in one bed the entire time, but eventually they admit they did but nothing happened.

I was so mad. I’ve never been so mad my entire life. I feel so betrayed. I threw the gifts I bought for them on their face and asked them to leave.

Until now I’m not talking to them. My mom said I should talk to them and let them explain but I dont think it’ll change anything. I don’t think I can trust those motherfuckers again.

I dont know what to do at this point. You know what’s worse? I might be pregnant. I’m delayed which never happened before. I have so much on my plate right now. FML.

I recently found out that my gf has been going on paid dates by guys.

I thought that she would feel guilty if I confronted her about it. However, it seems that she does not seem bothered by it. She likened it to going out with male friends for a meal and had also emphasized to all her clients that they are not allowed to touch her and she will not be taking their cars.

She feels that it is just a part-time job that she does apart from her normal day job and it is no different from like giving tuition or doing sales, just that it is easier to earn money this way and some are very generous with the tips.

I asked her if she could stop doing this but she insists that she will continue to do so and she assured me that she will never do anything more with any of the guys on paid dates and is doing so to earn extra income for our future house.

If I am fine with it, she will let me know whenever she goes on her paid dates and whenever she is back at home.

I mean even if I tell her I am fine, how will I ever be totally fine. Sure she may really see it as ‘only a job’ but the guy that is paying her may not think so. There is always that what if factor there like what if the guy is really handsome or what if the guy is really willing to pay her much more for more ‘services’? Will she then not be tempted? I have read some of the messages between her and those guys and some are real disgusting. They will request for her to dress in certain ways when meeting them, some will ask if they could top up more for more ‘services’ on their date and one of them even asked if they could buy the pair of panties she is wearing at the end of their date. Like wtf how can I not be worried when the guys that shes meeting are like that.

What would you all do if faced with this situation?

I’ve been playing TOTO every week for the past few months, and at first I thought I was going to be the lucky one that would win the jackpot.

But now, after all this time, I’m starting to realize that my chances of winning are worse than a scammer returning my money.

It’s not that I’m not trying to win, but the odds of winning TOTO are extremely low. In fact, the chances of winning the TOTO jackpot are 1 in 14 million, which is pretty much impossible. Even if you manage to get all 6 numbers right, the odds of someone else getting the same numbers are still incredibly high.

Meaning you will have to share it.

The other thing is that the amount of money you can win from TOTO is much lower than from other forms of gambling. The jackpot for TOTO is usually around $1 million, good if you win the firs prize but… if you win the smaller prized it’s nothing compared to other forms of gambling. In addition, the prizes for the lower tiers are quite small as well.

So why even bother playing TOTO if the odds are so low?

Well, I think it’s a good way to have a bit of fun and pass the time. I also think it gives me a sense of hope as if I could win the jackpot one day. But I know deep down inside that my chances of winning are slim to none.

That’s why I’m starting to think that my chances of winning TOTO are worse than a scammer returning my money. A scammer is someone who takes your money and never returns it, and the chances of getting your money back from a scammer are very low. But at least with a scammer, there’s a chance of getting your money back. With TOTO, however, there’s practically no chance of winning the jackpot.

So for now, I’m going to keep playing TOTO every week, but I’m going to be realistic about it. I know my chances of winning are very low, and I’m not going to put too much hope in it. I’m just going to enjoy the game and hope for the best. As they say, “hope springs eternal.”

I work as a waitress. I don’t have a driver’s license and I usually come from my town to my workplace by bus.

The problem is that on Sundays by the time I am done there is no bus (by the time I transfer here and there no more bus) and I depend on third parties to come and return.

Some weekends, the sister of my mother’s husband (he is not my father) and his daughter come to lend a hand and to return home, I go with them.

As if searching for a job is still not tough enough…

You have those companies posting on job portals that they’re looking for marketing/events executive roles or like management associates – in the end they turn out to be insurance agencies.

Annoying as F

Do they understand how irritating they are? I have a few friends who went down for interviews only to have these insurance agencies telling them “Oh we hired someone for that position. But we have a job opening as a financial advisor/consultant…” Hello? You know you’re wasting our time?

If we wanted to become an insurance agent, we would have applied for those roles. So shout out to everyone who got an interview that try to mask their company name all saying its private and confidential but when they ask you down for interview its at Newton or like Fuji Xerox Tower.. Then you better clarify with them that you’re not interested in a financial consultant role before heading down.

Did that a few times and the HR just MIA on me. So I guess my instinct was right. Oh another trick is those companies that ends with “*Insert name here* Organisation” 80% insurance companies.

– From a job seeker that had enough

Here are what netizens think:

• What about those who try to dangle a big carrot but refuse to reveal more details about the job until you go to their office? Damn annoying also. What’s the MOM guideline about these matters?

• ya fkin irritating, u wont be hiring all the time if it’s so simple as it sounds.

• Agents earn commission from every referral they bring in. So its no surprise that they’ll resort to all sorts of tactics to get money

• They are just using the financial consultant opportunity as an “insurance” as the position may already be filled. *Pun intended*

To Story of feminism cult, your story really resonate with me.

I have a sister that’s 2 years older than me. During my JC days, she started preaching about feminism. At that time I didn’t know what it meant, except the things that my sisters say was completely bizarre to me. Our family didn’t care much at first, but we would soon regret.

My sister’s friends were all infected with feminism. They huddled together like an echo chamber and blamed the patriarchy for every of their misfortune. One of my sister friend and her vow to fight beauty standards. For her dignity, I shall not say exactly what she did, except she added ~20 kg to her weight among other questionable actions. If you look at satires on feminism and my sister, you’d find a eyrie familiarity. Things took a turn for their group when they started dating one another. She turned to the LGBTQ community. If we thought it was worst, it wasn’t. Shortly after an incident that I cannot say, she had a psychotic breakdown.

She was diagnose with Bipolar, depression and psychosis of various degree. My family were deeply affected by this revelation. Her therapy required medication and isolation from the internet and her friends. Things were especially hard as Covid started. Loss appetite due to medication and her daily exercise helped her become skinny. She’s now 53 kg from 85kg, something she reminds people often of with a smirk. She begin dressing up and my mom was all too happy to pay for it, even I chipped in a 100. We were all just relieve that she is now normal.

She is now dating a nice guy she met from her uni. Our family is happy that things are now normal for her.

Now if anyone tries to promote feminism to me or my family, we will walk away from them. Therefore to you regardless of how toxic the comments are, we fully support you

I had been dreaming of a romantic getaway with my partner for months. We had worked hard and saved hard to make this trip a reality and were both so excited.

We had planned out every detail, down to the last restaurant and beach spot. We had the perfect itinerary.

Then, the day before we were supposed to leave, I got a call from our bank. We had used a credit card to pay for our trip and our credit limit had been reached. There was no way we could go on our dream holiday.

We were both devastated. We had been planning this trip for months and had put a lot of work into saving for it. We had been looking forward to it for so long and now it was all for nothing.

My partner was furious. He blamed me for not keeping a closer eye on our finances and said that I should have known better. I felt ashamed and embarrassed.

We decided to try and get a loan from the bank to cover the cost of the trip, but we were turned down. We were both so disappointed. We had worked hard for this trip and now it was all for nothing.

We ended up having to cancel the trip and it was a huge financial loss. We were both so frustrated and stressed out. We ended up arguing a lot and the stress of the situation put a huge strain on our relationship.

After a few months, we decided to break up.

We were both too stressed and exhausted to continue the relationship. We both blamed each other for the financial stress and neither of us wanted to take responsibility for it.

I learned that it’s important to be aware of your financial situation and to not rely too heavily on credit cards. It’s also important to be honest with your partner about your finances and to talk about money openly.

I’m thankful that I learned this lesson before it was too late. I regret not being more careful with our finances.

Credit cards can be a great way to pay for a dream holiday, but it’s important to be aware of your financial situation and to not rely too heavily on them. Be honest with your partner about your finances and make sure that you talk openly about money. Doing this can help prevent financial stress and keep your relationship strong.

An anonymous Facebook user posted to an online news media platform. The user revealed her experiences  working as a sales representative in a luxury boutique.

The person describes in detail how she was advised not to waste time on clients who checked pricing on the things in the store because they would most likely be unable to purchase anything at all..

For this kind of statement, most people will probably be a little angry. Netizens also said that this is too realistic, but he has to admit that it is true.

Those are the kind of customer that usually leaves silently after reading the price.

She also reminded other sales associates not to be too proud for working in a luxury booktique

The woman added: “Because the customers in contact with them have a relatively high spending power, they will also classify themselves into the upper-class circle, when in reality, they are just sales associates.”

“The team leader at the luxury boutique where I worked explained that there are three categories of consumers that visit the store.

• One has no money
• one has the capacity to acquire anything but would most likely pay in instalments
• can afford it but has no taste.

The anonymous writer claimed that she was taken aback by the stereotyping of potential consumers.

However, the woman added

“As long as they walk in, there is a chance they will buy something. Why do we have to discriminate?”

The author believes that only the more she knows, can she see the real value of goods and services, and when the knowledge of life continues to improve, she will not only surpass the limitations of poor thinking, but also surpass the attachment to material enjoyment.