I think my husband has an online gf.

I can’t wrap my head around the idea that someone has a girlfriend that they have never actually met or even spoken to in the phone. Is this real?

I don’t even know if this is considered cheating. I hope I am overreacting.

My (42f) husband (42m) seems to have an online girlfriend.

My husband loves to play video games and has had an online female friend for the past couple of years. I think she is in her early 30s & married.

She is also aware that he is married with young kids. He’s never hidden his phone from me and what snips of their conversations I have read in the past primarily revolved around gaming.

Lately though I noticed he has been on his phone texting more frequently and when I finally snooped, I found inappropriate conversations.

Not only were conversations explicit but they often ended with telling each other that they loved one another. I was completely heartbroken.

I confronted him about the conversations and he said that it was joking around that got a little out of hand. He says he’s never met her irl and has no intentions of ever doing so. He says that I am over reacting and it’s not cheating. He has no intentions of terminating their online relationship.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want a divorce.

I keep missing opportunities to chill and potentially hook up with women because I dont drink.

I get it a lot of people use alchohol to chill and relax and try to take the edge off. However I’m the kind of guy( 27 ) who doesn’t drink often and when I do its 2 drinks tops since that about my limit and it happens to put me just at the legal limit without hangover and feeling like I’m gonna be sick.

I find that when women drink more the 2 drinks I get very uncomfortable, cant relax, be flirty and make moves. I recently had the opportunity to hangout with a woman at my place and she texted if I had alcohol before coming over. I told her “I only have wine and i wasnt looking to get drunk tonight”

she kinda gas lit me with dont be a party pooper type stuff and a bit of she’s more fun when she drinks. I responded with “if you cant enjoy my company at my place without alchohol dont show up” needless to say she didn’t respond, didn’t show up, and has ghosted me. I dont regret putting my foot down but geez it seem once I take alchohol off the table women back off and dont want to deal with me on any level.

I dont have an issue being under the influence with say someone I’m dating that i know decently and trust but these early interactions where they want to drink when i dont know them well just baffles me.

I made the mistake of mentioning this at work to some colleagues who asked how my “date” went. They all shook there head and couldnt believe id say no to that. They got some of the front of house girls in on it and they were asking why I had such a problem with drinking They were more brutal with their questions then my guy colleagues. I got so frustrated I asked them all to drop the topic.

Did I shoot myself in the foot? Am I doing myself a disservice not being open to letting loose with someone I dont know that well who hasn’t been to my place yet? Should I just let alcohol impact what happens and how it happens?

My mom had an affair 20 years ago for 4 years with a close friend of the family. My dad never knew.

I’m spiraling. This has shattered my perception of my mother. I’m hurt, I’m disgusted, I’m feeling betrayed, I’m feeling like the childhood picture of my family was all a lie.

My dad passed away 7 years ago. This is the only time since then that I can say I’m happy he’s gone, because this would DESTROY him.

I just found out about this from said “friend of the family”s ex wife (let’s call her Jane). At the time of the affair, the friend of the family (let’s call him John), was single. John didn’t marry Jane until many years after the affair.

Jane told me because John told her and she thought I deserved to know.

John was nearly a member of the family, coming over for all holidays and several dinners a week. I grew up thinking of him as almost a big brother (he was a few years younger than my parents and was pretty immature).

My parents helped John with a lot over the years, his parents passed away when he was young and he had no siblings so that’s why I thought we “took him in” into our family. My dad loved John like a brother/son.

Apparently a year or so of friendship is when the affair began. It went on for 4 years with my poor dad none the wiser. He literally was sitting across the table on holidays sharing dinner with the man who was screwing his wife. And after the affair ended JOHN STAYED AROUND as the friend. Like even last Christmas we spent it with him and his wife.

My mom told me my dad never knew and she’s felt terrible guilt over it for all these years. She was prepared to go to her grave with this. I had her answer a lot of questions and kept telling her any more lies are just going to make it worse. She swears she isn’t lying about any thing else but… HOW DO I BELIEVE ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF HER MOUTH?!

She says there were no more occurrences with John after the 4 years and after my dad passed I installed security cameras all over the outside of her house, so I would have seen him coming/going. So I’m inclined to believe her, but again… Can I trust anything from someone who could lie that much for 4 years?

I told her the friendship with John is over. She agreed (but obviously I’m sure she’s pissed he told).

I told her I need time to process. But currently I can’t imagine forgiving this, and my respect for her is gone.

I’m in a bad place. I can’t sleep, I’m nauseous. I already looked for a therapist but I can’t schedule anything until after Christmas. She asked me to keep the secret and I agreed.

But at the same time; why does she deserve to suffer NO consequences from this?! She got to have her cake and eat it too. She got away with it.

John is in all my family photos and videos.

It’s sick and insane to keep him around as a friend after. I feel like that makes this so so so much worse.

Does anyone have any advice? How do I go forward with my relationship with my mom? Until this bomb dropped we were very very close and she comes over often to see my kids and my kids love her dearly.

I do not know how to go forward from here.

o I’m just gonna say it! I haven’t told anyone this because I feel really guilty about it and I hate myself for agreeing to it 🙂

My bf has been asking me whether we could roleplay as one of our friends for some time now and I didn’t really want to do it but after a while I eventually agreed because I didn’t want to make him unhappy, even though I know if I outright said no he would accept it but he kept asking and I just didn’t want to let him down

So I role played as one of my friends in bed and I felt so dirty and guilty while doing it and he just kept saying her name while doing it with me and he was so loving while doing it with “me” as well and I just wanted to cry haha

After we finished, he suggested we roleplay as another friend the next time and I agreed again and I really hate myself for it!

My friends don’t know this and I just feel so guilty and I don’t know what to do and I’ve just been thinking whether he really wants to be with me or if he wants to see other ppl and whether this is considered cheating…. Idk technically he’s sleeping with me but he’s thinking of other girls and I let him hahah I’m kinda pathetic!!

But yeah I just want to know what you guys would do in this situation and whether this is considered cheating or not because I’m really confused…

My husband dropped me while we were making love. How do I prevent this the next time?

My husband was doing me against the wall; it was one of those situations where I wrap my arms and legs around him while he supports me with his arms. You know the deal.

Well, he came pretty hard, and it was one of those full body ones. His knees went weak, and long story short, we both toppled over. Nobody was hurt that bad, but I did bonk my head which wasn’t super fun.

We’re laughing about it now even though we were both embarrassed, but I do have a question. When we try this again (and we will be trying again), is there a safer way to go about it?

I mean, it sounds silly, but should we be placing pillows and other soft things on the ground just in case? I’m at a loss lol

Netizens’ comments

1. Use protection, at least a helmet
2. Velcro jacket. Velcro patch on the wall. Pull the quilt out on the floor for wobbly legs to fall on. Happy days.
3. As a rock climber, this is giving me some ideas
4. I’m imagining y’all fell to the side since you were already pressed against the wall. Maybe next time try doing it in the corner so you have another wall to hold onto?
5. Men often lose their strength when they come. Maybe do it next to the bed in the future

got my gf pregnant.

We can’t afford the baby so we decided to get an abortion. We’re so broke we can barely afford the abortion. I think she hates me now and she should.

I hate myself. It’s mainly my fault. I ruined Christmas for the rest of our lives. I don’t know if our relationship will survive this but I don’t want to lose her too.

I’m not expecting sympathy from anyone. I deserve all the bad things coming my way. I just can’t talk about this with anyone so I vented on here. Merry Christmas everyone.

Netizens’ comments

1. Its her fault just as much as yours. Keep good communication and support each other and you can get through it.
2. You really shouldn’t be putting all this guilt on your self it takes 2 to make a baby boy just you! Sounds like she unjustly blaming you
3. You did the right thing, if you cant look after yourself whether its by resource or not being ready…dont have a kid. I would have done the same thing
4. This is a tough decision. Can you talk to someone about it? Neither you nor your girlfriend deserve bad things to happen to you. I really hope you can get someone to counsel you so you are at peace with whatever decision you make. Good luck, and don’t pay any attention to the cruel comments here.
5. It’s as much as her fall as it is yours she played a part too not just so you. You’re allowed to feel your feelings don’t think otherwise.

Losing virginity with a random hookup.

I met a woman (online) who’s 28 who wants to hook up. She wasn’t a scammer and she sent proof. I’m a virgin.

She just wanted to get screwed by someone and I volunteered. She has a kid and i had no interest in being with her other than bedding her.

I was really sick of being a virgin and since this opportunity came up, I took it.

Edit: I’m very lonely, and touch starved, and this is about the only way I thought I could fix that. I guess I didn’t think it through well enough.

Netizens’ comments

1. Do you care about losing your virginity to someone you probably won’t be romantically involved with in x amount of years? Or do you think you can maintain and healthy and thriving relationship with someone a decade older than you? Romantic or platonic. Would a platonic relationship afterwards be too weird? Personally, I say you shouldn’t have done it. This is coming from someone who didn’t care who they lost their virginity to. But looking back at it I’m glad it was someone I connected with deeply, I don’t think I could say the same if it was a tinder hook up. Hope this helped!
2. One thing I want to say. You can take this with a grain of salt, but please be aware that there are many CRAZY people online.
3. I doubt losing your virginity to a stranger will cause the world to collapse around you.

My (33f) bf (33m) has been making it seem like he’s this successful business man this whole time. I feel so betrayed

5 years ago I sat myself down and questioned myself on what I truly wanted in a partner. When I came into this relationship I believed in the law of attraction. I actively saved money thinking that when I met my person, I would be ready to start a family. I thought that I would have my shit sorted out and likewise my future partner would too (if not financially then mentally). I did all this because I’m a women whose clock is ticking and I wanted to have alot of kids.

When I met my bf 2 years ago I made it known that I was serious, that I wanted to settle down and have kids. I gave him an idea of what my timeline looks like. He went along with it and told me that he would make it happen and that I didn’t need to worry.

He was spending money like crazy (I would question this and he would get mad and defensive) so I thought that he was just well off.

6 months into our relationship I tried to open the can of worms about finances. My end goal was to buy a house and start a family. When I did this my bf, a business owner, made me think that he had all this money saved up. He told me that he would never disclose how much was in his bank account. When I told him that I wanted a modest lifestyle he told me that he made x amount of money and that he wanted to buy this fancy house. He took me on these fancy vacations. He financed this expensive car etc etc etc.

Because of his lifestyle and him reassuring me that he has everything together, he wanted me to spend like him. When I refused, he made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him. He called me stingy. He made me feel like I needed to be this certain type of person who was giving and generous in order for him to open up to me about his finances.

Now fast forward 2 years in. I tried to be that person for him. I tried to give more of myself and be more generous (more then I would in a normal relationship). Since then he’s been more open and comfortable about talking about his finances with me.

However I’m now find out that he doesn’t make a much as he said he does. He doesn’t have all this money saved up like he said he did. He can’t afford this fancy house that he’s been constantly talking about.

In the past he told me that he would never disclose how much he has and now I’m finding out that I have more saved up then he does.

After all of this my bf says “just trust me I will do everything in my power to take care of you” which I believe BUT i’ve always been a lady with a plan. I don’t believe blindly. I think that everything can be planned for.

My clock is ticking (to have kids) and I feel extremely deceived. I feel like I could’ve found a partner who actually wanted to build with me.

Instead I found a partner who deceived me and made me feel like I wasn’t good enough this whole time while making me believe that he has all this going on for him. When I tried to be a partner who was good enough I find out that he has little going on for him if anything.

Is this something that can be worked upon? I feel like if I leave everyone will think that I’m this gold digger.

Really I just wanted someone to build with and now I’m questioning if I can do that with this man who I feel deceived me.