I am jealous of my daughter and her perfect life

My daughter is 14 years old. I had her when I was 16. I did not want to keep the baby, but my parents are conservative and pressured me into it. I did not want to be a mother. I was still just a child myself. Just the year before, I had never even kissed anyone before. MY pregnancy was the worst time of my life. But my parents openly celebrated the fact that there would soon be another child in the family. I did not want anything to do with the baby. My parents adopted her and have been raising her as their own. I moved in with my aunt when she was about 2 years old and cut contact with my parents. They had chosen their cravings for another child over the one they already had. It hurt me a lot. But if they wanted to play family I would let them. It’s not like they were ever decent parents to me anyways.

Sometimes I look at my daughter’s instagram when it pops up on my feed and I can’t help but wish it were my life. I can’t help but feel angry about how I was robbed of all of these moments with my parents when I gave her life. I can’t exactly blame her for what happened but at the same time, if I had miscarried would I be in this situation? She will have my father walk her down the aisle if she decides to get married, but I will not. She can have a sweet sixteen I lost mine. She will finish highschool I will not.

She actually reached out to me recently. My parents were open with her about the adoption. She wants to have a relationship with me, but I do not. I just can’t. It would be too painful for me. I feel so disgusting for my feelings towards her, but they just wont go away. And I am not going to hurt her by pretending to love her.

So back when I was teen it was discovered that my mom was carrying on an affair with another man. My dad ended up forgiving my mom and moving forward together. I held resentment for my mom for a real long time because how dare she do that to my dad. Hindsight is 20/20 though.

Well now as I am an adult (pushing 30) I can see their relationship for what it is. My dad is a great dad, absolutely wonderful, (although I can see the misogyny from how he was raised at that period of time). As a husband/ partner I can see how lousy he is. My mom is basically his mom too. She does ALL the cleaning in their house, he can’t be bothered to even wash a dish or clean up after himself, my mom does it all. The mental load, she’s takes it all. Keeping track of groceries they need for the next shopping trip. She’s in charge of paying all the bills, cooking the meals. Oh and she still has to work her regular job full time (45+ hours a week). My dads health isn’t the greatest, so my mom has also become his nurse when he is ill, managing the myriad of his medications & general health. Also, she cares for my grandma as she is sick too with a couple diseases so on top of everything she does she manages grandma’s health too. All without a thank you or you’re appreciated.

This past Christmas put everything into perspective. My mom coordinated with my siblings to all go in on a super expensive gift for him for Christmas. An item he really really wants. The effort he put into her gift? ZERO, he got her absolutely nothing. I spoke to him privately prior to gift exchange about what he got my mom, claiming well I buy her nice anniversary & birthday gifts isn’t that enough? I see the disappointment my mom feels on her face and it hurts me. She doesn’t get “just because flowers” from him. It’s like he sees her as just a person to take care of him and home.

This has been their whole relationship not just after the affair, but prior to it too. So although I absolutely do not condone cheating, I can understand why she did what she did back then. I get sad thinking of my mom and how she takes care of everyone but the person who is supposed to take care of her doesn’t do that. I catch myself thinking occasionally “they should really just get divorced”

I have learned over the years to really cherish my mom, so even if he doesn’t spoil her, I do. Take her on mini weekend trips, we go to out of town concerts together. I try to buy her small just thinking of you gifts so she can feel appreciated and loved.

I’m scared of women.

I’m gonna keep this short,

Growing up I had a lot of female friend’s, but one day I was out swimming with my friends in a swimming pool, I started to drown, saw a girl swimming next to me, grabbed her butt { I was drowning, couldn’t see what I grabbed}, to pull myself up.

I was 14 back then, I got accused of misconduct and harrasing that girl by not only my teacher’s but my own parents as well, this trauma left a mark for me.

that led to avoiding all my female friend’s {except one who I’ve been friends with since I was 4 yo}, never had a girlfriend never talked to women in general.

Now I’m 21 pretty much recovered from the it till last year, my friend got falsely accused by his girlfriend/her family of harrasment,

Now I think I just should remain virgin for the rest of my life.

I’m a young professional woman in my early twenties, and I recently had a life-changing experience. About six months ago, I began working for a new company, and I quickly realized that my boss was incredibly attractive. We had great chemistry and spent a lot of time together.

I was flattered by his attention, and I started to develop strong feelings for him.

One night, after a long day at work, we decided to go out for drinks. The alcohol was flowing, and before I knew it, we were back at his place. We ended up sleeping together, and it was an incredible experience. I felt a connection with him that I had never felt before.

After that night, I was sure that I had ruined my career. I was scared to even go into the office the next day, but I was surprised to find that nothing had changed. My boss was still as friendly and professional as he had always been.

At first, I thought that I had gotten lucky. But then something even more unexpected happened – I got promoted! I was suddenly in a position of power, and I was one of the most successful people in the company. People started to take notice of me, and I felt like I had finally made it.

I was grateful for the promotion, but I also felt guilty. I knew that my relationship with my boss had gotten me to this point, and I felt like I had taken advantage of the situation.

The truth is, I’m not sure if my boss promoted me because of our relationship or not. It could have simply been because he felt that I was a valuable asset to the company. But the fact remains that I did sleep with my boss, and shortly after I got promoted.

I’m still not sure how I feel about the whole situation. On one hand, I’m grateful for the promotion and the recognition that I have received. But on the other hand, I can’t help but feel guilty. I know that I should have kept my professional and personal lives separate, and I regret not doing so.

No matter how I feel about the situation, I’m still going to make sure that I’m the best employee that I can be. I’m going to work hard and continue to prove to my boss that I’m a valuable asset to the company. I’m determined to show everyone that my promotion wasn’t just because of my relationship with my boss

My fiancé of two years packed up and left while I was in the shower.

This happened about two weeks ago and I have been struggling extremely since then. I’m currently going to therapy for it, but todays been hitting me harder than most and I just need to get it off my chest.

We were in the middle of planning on when/how we wanted to get married and we were in the middle of building a home together that we had already put money into.

We’ve been staying at my parents house and watching over their house just us and our dog while they’ve been away enjoying retirement.

I thought things were going good. I was extremely happy, he always told me how much he loved me, how much he cared for me, how he couldn’t wait to marry me.

We took vacations a lot when we first met and throughout our relationship as much as we could afford to go. My dog became extremely attached to him and the other way around as well. They slept together, constantly were outside together, he was always taking pictures of him and saying he was like his own kid. They loved each other, and we loved each other too.

My whole family adored him and he adored them as well. I have bad social anxiety, so it took me a while to warm up to his family but I didn’t have anything against them. A few months into our relationship he started lying about them and about me, pitting us all against each other and causing problems that never needed to be caused.

He would lie about his mum to me and lie about me to his mum, causing us to thoroughly dislike each other. Things finally came to a head, so his dad and I sat down then his mum and I sat down just to find out he was lying about everything that he had said for the most part, or was stretching it out of context at the very least.

As if he only saw things in black and white and just ran with that, instead of seeing the true intentions or actions. We were supposed to start therapy, and I spent a lot of time looking at appointments, reaching out to therapists that were in our budget and seeing what I could do to get us help.

He never seemed interested in therapy and hated talking about it, so my mistake, I ended up brushing it off thinking that he would fix things on his own and that things would get better.

That was a huge regret. He continued to lie about his family, about me. Continued to put everyone against each other to the point where no one knew the truth anymore. His lies finally came to a head.

So he texted me that he was on his way home from work, so I got in the shower so that he could shower when he got home, he told me after he showered we could sit down and relax for the night and hang out as we always do.

I got out of the shower to all of his stuff packed and in his car. He wouldn’t speak to me or look at me. The only thing he said before he left was “Do you want to exchange Christmas gifts? Yours came in this morning.” I said no.

I haven’t heard anything from him since. I am devastated. I was off work for days, it took me almost two weeks to finally shower, I haven’t eaten since he left and have lost so much weight I couldn’t even stand without someone helping me.

I was in hysterics for days, screaming and crying inconsolably. I don’t understand what happened. I don’t understand how you could tell someone you love them and couldn’t lose them to packing your things and leaving them two hours later with no heads up or explanation.

I truly feel we are made to be together, or at least I had thought so. I’m absolutely devastated. I just needed to get it off of my chest. Thank you.

My girlfriend forgot to give me a Christmas present

Not as in “oh I’m sorry I forgot to get you anything”, she doesn’t even remember that she didn’t get me something.

I don’t know I feel really petty for feeling like this but I’m a bit upset. We did talk about gifts before Christmas and she did say she had something planned and i was gonna like it but yeah, just forgot.

For her present I decided to learn art and animation because she’s an artsy person and really likes animations and I spent a lot of hours making a silly little animated Christmas card basically.

I love putting a lot of thoughtful effort into something as a way of expressing love, she liked it lots. Idk it hurts a bit to not even receive a sorry back though

Netizens’ comments

1. She wanted something expensive and you went all cheapo so she decided to return it
2. Wdym she got you the will and determination to learn a new skill. Now you can animate at an amateur level, couldn’t do that before.

It all started when I was sitting with my friends, talking about how much money each of us made and what kind of luxuries we can afford.

I had been doing really well lately and I wanted to show off a bit – so I told them that I bought a Rolex with my own money.

My friends were all impressed and I was feeling really good about myself. Then one of them asked how much I paid for the Rolex and that’s when I started to sweat.

I had no idea how much the Rolex cost and I was too embarrassed to admit that I didn’t know. So I just made up a price and said it was around $20,000.

My friends were still impressed, but they started to question how I could afford such a nice Rolex. I just shrugged my shoulders and said that I was lucky to have a good job and that I had saved up enough money to buy it.

Little did they know, the real reason I was able to buy the watch was because my girlfriend had actually paid for it. She had been wanting to get me a nice present and when she saw the Rolex, she knew it was perfect.

She wanted to surprise me and told me not to worry about the cost.

So as I sat there with my friends, I was feeling really guilty. I had taken credit for something I didn’t deserve and I felt like a fraud.

I wanted to come clean and tell them the truth about who paid for the Rolex, but I was too embarrassed.

The next day, I felt really guilty and I decided to tell my girlfriend what had happened. I apologized for taking credit for her Rolex gift and I promised to never do it again.

She just laughed and said that she knew what I was doing and that it was okay.

To this day, I still feel guilty about lying to my friends. I know that I should have been honest with them about the real buyer of my Rolex, but I was too scared to come clean.

I always thought that the nice guys I dated were great in bed but it turns out they weren’t.

As much as I wanted to believe that the nice guys I dated could perform like the bad boys, it just wasn’t the case.

I’m not saying that all nice guys are bad in bed, but I noticed a trend in my experience where I was consistently disappointed in the bedroom.

At first, I thought it had something to do with me. I thought that my expectations were too high or that I wasn’t communicating my needs properly.

But after dating a few bad boys and seeing the difference, I quickly realized that the nice guys I had been dating simply weren’t as good in the bedroom.

The bad boys I dated were confident and knew exactly what they were doing. They had no fear and weren’t afraid to take control.

They also seemed more comfortable with their own bodies and were more open to exploring new things. They also had a better understanding of my body and how to please me.

The nice guys I dated, on the other hand, were too nice. They were always trying to please me and make sure I was comfortable but it ended up being a bit too much.

They were too polite and didn’t take the initiative. They seemed to be intimidated by my body and were too timid to explore.

I think the key difference between the bad boys and the nice guys is that the bad boys are more confident and have a better understanding of women’s bodies.

They know how to please a woman and are not afraid to take control. They also have a better understanding of what women want and are willing to try new things.

Of course, not all bad boys are great in the bedroom. Some of them may be inexperienced and not know what they’re doing.

However, I think if you’re looking for someone who is great in the bedroom, you’re better off looking for a bad boy.

I don’t think this means that all nice guys are bad in bed. Some of them may just need to be more confident and willing to explore.

But if you’re looking for someone who can really perform in the bedroom, you’re better off looking for a bad boy.

My boyfriend of 6 years won’t propose and I don’t know what to do

I (26f) have been dating my boyfriend (26m) for 6 years. I have always been straightforward about wanting to get married one day and when we started getting serious my boyfriend asked if we could wait until after graduation, I agreed.

After college he asked if we could wait until after we both found jobs and I agreed. It’s been over 2 years now and he keeps pushing the time frame back.

I’ve tried having conversations about this but I feel like he just agrees with me so that I’ll drop it. I don’t know what to do next.

I don’t know if he’s changed his mind about me, about marriage, or if I’m just reading way too much into it. Help?

Netizens’ comments

• Talk about it with a specific timeframe.
  Not “we should marry eventually” but “At this point in my life and in our relationship, I feel that we should marry next year(s). How do you feel about it?” . Then listen to what he answers.
  Anything different than “Yes, let’s do it, let’s discuss a date, let’s discuss the steps that need to be done, what kind of ceremony we want, etc” likely means that he’s not especially thrilled with the idea. Marriage, like sex, requires enthusiastic consent.
  You know what you want in your life, how much time you’re willing to wait, what is a deal breaker and what is not.
• He either doesn’t want to get married at all, or doesn’t want to marry you. He keeps moving the goal posts and will as long as you let him. He doesn’t have to propose right now, but you need to know where you stand. Don’t let another day go by without having this talk.

After dating around for awhile, I think it’s very important that guys/girls do not reveal their true earning potential/power in the early stages of dating.

I know it’s obvious but we can still make the mistake of revealing too much financial details about ourselves, such that the other person will not fall in love with the person that we are but the things or lifestyle that we can provide.

Just to quote an example, you have a side hustle that makes you $2xxx per month on a normal month that could go up to $5xxx per month because it is scalable. Couple that with a good financial background (family + individually) you know there’s a very low chance <1% you will starve even in a recession when you lose your job.

That theoretically makes you a very high value person aside from your personality and values and thus you need to be more discerning of who you let into your life. I’m mainly writing this advice for myself because I tend to have a high ego and low self-esteem and that’s why sometimes I try to justify in my head why I’m worthy of being with someone of a “higher social-economic/academic” background.

Yes money is not everything. But in a high cost of living country like Singapore, money represents options that could enable you to be a stay at home-dad or mum and completely avoid the rat race. As well as providing a comfortable living and less financial stress.

Money is the difference between traveling the world every year, multiple times a year and budgeting for meals and constantly thinking about how to reduce your costs.

I have experienced what it’s like to be both rich (solidly middle class) and poor. And I always realise how lucky I am to be in the circumstances that I am in.