My brother spent $90k in 3 months

I just really need to rant about this, we’re a big family and we all live in the same huge household, my parents and I went for a vacation for 3 months, and my brother (28) managed to spend 90,000 FREAKING DOLLARS,

he emptied his own bank account, stole all of my dad’s savings and continued to take more money from my dad’s bank account.

Approximately $30k of that money was spent on TikTok coins.. TIKTOK COINS!

I’m literally getting second hand embarrassment, it doesn’t feel like he feels like he did that big of a deal, note that he has a wife and 3 kids, she’s literally considering divorce because what kind of future??

Anyways I don’t blame her, I’m just trying to fathom wtf is going on because we pretty much lost all the money we had and my dad is starting from 0, he asked my brother to return back $20k (cuz apparently my brother said a lot of the money was spent on groceries, bills and outings, all of which he “wrote down”, didn’t even keep the damn bills)

My dad fired him and told him to find a job, everyone is literally embarrassed at this point and I just feel horrible for not only my dad who lost all of his life savings on Tiktok, but my sister in law who has to deal with that kind of bullshit.

Next generation of (tiger) parents

I am an angmoh guy. Been in Singapore about 8 years.

My first local friends used to complain a lot about their tiger parents. All the pain they went though, from extra tutoring, always having to study, banned from having romantic relationships and ensuring to be home for dinner even when they are full grown adults. I think the worst aspect was not being able to meet their parents high expectations even with amazing performance.

Now they are all starting to have their own kids and I’m very surprised to see they are doing the exact same things to their kids that their parents did to them. In some cases even harder – like enrichment classes when their kids are still babies!!

Can someone tell me why they repeat this toxic behaviour? I don’t get it, especially when there’s little evidence that pushing your kids so hard actually helps them.

Here are what netinzes think:

• It’s because as they grew older they realized they can’t fight the system.. changes in the educational system whilst taking place now will only bear fruit ( for better or worse ) decades later. While economic and political uncertainty just makes competition even more rife. You can argue its only going to get worse with this generation of parents experiencing even more FOMO and kiasuness amidst increasing costs.
• Generally new parents have only two main sources of reference. Their own childhood, and the experiences of their (equally clueless) peers. From when the lady receives the good news on her pregnancy, well meaning friends, relatives and colleagues will start feeding information about parenthood, school life, childcare and anything and everything there is about “getting your child that headstart” I feel it all starts from there.
• As a parent who signed her mini me for a baby enrichment class, i would like to say that it’s a fun session where he enjoys the teacher telling stories/singing songs/play baby gym. It’s only a 1hr session once a week where he gets exposed to a different setting from home/grandparents house and gets exposed to different pple (teachers/other babies). I’m hoping this will help ease him into school eventually. But no we don’t expect him to be the president scholar of his batch 15yrs down the road la. Definitely no crazy tuition schedule for him when he gets older 
• Lessons and experiences imprinted from childhood are commonly brought forward to the next generation because its so deeply ingrained.

Every time I’m around my M28 husbands mom, she always makes comments about me being lazy and not working.

I understand it’s not the norm since I’m only a F23 but I don’t think it’s fair that she calls me out for it.

Her son has a really good job in tech that more than easily covers our lifestyle and he supports me not working. He likes being the provider.

Last time I saw his mom she called me a “spoiled and entitled girl” and she also made comments about my weight.

My husbands mom is from India but he was born here so idk if it’s cultural or why she thinks it is okay to make these comments and accusations but it’s a huge stressor for me knowing that she thinks I’m lazy.

How can I deal with her in a nice way?

Netizens’ comments

She is: jealous of your relationship with her son jealous that you don’t work jealous that if you have kids, you’re in charge jealous you are afforded a lifestyle she wants

She sees her son as an extension of herself and she would not let you stay home.

She cannot be reasoned with and will continue because she sees it has an impact on you. If your husband says to stop, she will double down that it’s her right to say it OR she will move on to the next insult. She sounds exhausting.

I wish you the best!

I am working currently as an art director with a diploma on hand. I know that the paper doesn’t really make or break you in the creative industry but getting a degree has been a goal of mine.

As much as I like to get a university degree, I am quite afraid as I might end up falling further “behind” in life. Any advice on what I should do?

For context, I went through Nitec+Hi-Nitec+Poly which costed me 7 extra years before I started working full time at the age of 27. Going through a university this coming year would mean that I’ll starting again at 32. I know that if I am to stay and work I would be able to put myself back on track but it would mean sacrificing my goal to get a degree.

Netizens’ comments

Creative director here. A fine arts degree will not increase your pay. I would argue that even further education in UI/UX in paid multi-year courses will not get your far. You’re better off taking short stint courses from Hyper Island or the multitude of similar agencies hawking their offerings.

The fact that you’re only one year in, is especially telling. You probably haven’t even scraped the ins and outs of the business.

You should be working on your book. Showing you’re ready to be a senior creative leading the strategic development of a campaign and honing your commercial craft.

Going through this process for a year or two more will give you more clarity on the next steps to explore. You might be better at planning — which pivots you to a different career path in the industry, you might be better at executing — which can redirect you to a more specific role like directing or content creating — knowing your strengths will help to decide where further training requires.

If you want a degree for kicks, that could set you up for a career outside or adjacent to advertising like Marketing, get a business degree. But caveat emptor — you’d lose years.

Better you make the switch now, and work + study at the same time.

So, My fiance (m33) comes from a well off family, I (f29) come from a working class family. My fiance’s family are nice but they can’t help throwing comments at me about how I “might be” a “Gold Digger”. For example, if he buys me something they’ll go “oh Jason bought you that? You know what this looks like right?” And/or “Wait, Jason paid for this? Only gold diggers make their partners pay for stuff all the time, just sayin’…. It’s so demeaning and my fiance does nothing to stop it. Especially now that he’s in a bad place in life after he lost his job. And since he’s keeping it secret then, I’m the one paying for everything. This has been going on for 4 months.

Last week, His parents invited us for dinner and he insisted that we go so we went. At dinner table his mom grabbed my hand (literally while I was eating!!) And looked at my bracelet and went “Oh, this bracelet looks really nice, did Jason pay for it?” I nodded and reminded her that he bought it for me as a birthday gift last year. She was like “hmmmm, wonder how much it costs…..” she then leaned back and said “You know I remember when my brother was dating this gold digger woman…she’d recieve expensive stuff like this (pointing at the bracelet) bracelet here for her birthdays….” I was stunned, I cut her off and asked if she meant to say that I was a Gold Digger. She threw her hands up and went “I mean…if the shoe fits….” while laughing awkwardly. Silence took over. I looked at my fiance and he shook his head at me like “what?!?!?!” I snapped!! . I told her it was bold of her to imply I was a Gold Digger when I’m literally providing for her unemployed son, have been for 4 months now. They all looked shocked. She glanced at me in shock and his dad asked if it was true and my fiance just froze but looked so angry. An argument ensued and dinner was cut short and we had to leave after they started berating him.

He had a rage fit in the car just yelling and lashing at me. In my defense, I said that he sat by and let his mom continuelly imply that I was a Gold Digger but he said that they never outright called me a Gold Digger so it was all in my head. He said I still had no right to take advantage of his “unfortunate circumstance” to get back at his mom and expose him to the family.

My (33f) husband (32m) wants to go to his ex-girlfriends (30s,f) wedding

My husband Mark and I have been married for 16 months and together for 3 years. 2 years before he was with me, he was with Amanda. Prior to me she was definitely the love of his life, they were together for 8 years and lived together. She left him and though I don’t know her side of the story at all, Mark says it’s because she wasn’t ready to settle down and didn’t want the traditional marriage and kids, and he did.

When we met he was definitely still not 100% over Amanda and I think deep down imagined they might still get back together. They didn’t maintain a friendship as far as I’m aware until our wedding. She posted congratulations on his Instagram posts of the day and they DMed back and forth about the wedding and general life stuff. Every now and again they catch up on social/text and I don’t think there’s anything inappropriate going on but it makes me a little uncomfortable.

However a couple of months back Amanda got engaged. Mark was pretty upset, he didn’t talk about it much but I wonder if it was because she’s now ready to settle down in a way she wasn’t when she was with him. He was pretty down for a couple of weeks, I didn’t push it but I did try and talk to him about it which he shut down.

Now I just found out that he has an invite to Amanda’s wedding in March. He doesn’t have a plus one, but he still really wants to go. He didn’t ask me if he could, he just told me.

I told him I felt weird about him going, especially alone and especially given how much he loved her, but he says it’s all in the past and nothing is happening so it shouldn’t matter. I get that but I feel really odd about him going to his exes wedding – I’m sure it would’ve been them getting married if she’d have been in the right place at the time. What do I do?

Why are Malaysians so engrossed with being gastronationalistic against Singapore, including making belitting, mocking or trashing remarks?

First and foremost, such a thing is subjective. How the food tastes, how it’s prepared, as well as its ingredients. Different places have different variants.

Personally, I love food from almost everywhere in the world; be it from China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, Italy, France, Indonesia, India, etc. I’m always open to tasting new foods. In Southeast Asia, there is no ill-will or hostility when talking about cuisine between Singapore and Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, etc. For some reason, when it comes to Malaysia, it becomes a different story.

If you look at Malaysian online pages, news outlets, journalists, etc, there are always constant mocking of Singaporean cuisine, being referred to as shit, overrated, tasteless, horrible, and that everything is superior in Malaysia. It’s an obsessive trope at this point.

Furthermore, when foreigners make remarks of having positive experiences trying out the food in Singapore, there are always a bunch of Malaysians coming in to mock the food. You can find this on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, especially in vlogs. Is the hostility really necessary, with more more pressing issues to dedicate your energy to?

The question is – Why? Why the need to behave this way, especially if such a thing is subjective? If Malaysian food is so good, surely it’s able to stand on its own without resorting to belittling other nations? Singaporeans hardly do this. In fact, Singaporeans praise cuisines from other countries a lot, including from Malaysia.

And we haven’t even gone to the messy topic of the origins of some dishes, with Malaysians constantly claiming that everything was invented there when talking about Singaporean food, as well as with Indonesia and Indonesian food.

My friend said there is no such thing as luck and poor people need to work harder

That was honestly hurtful to hear.. especially cause she has never had to “work harder”… everything has been handed to her.. I’ve never told her or anybody up until this post that I once ate spaghetti from her sink drain and a tart from the trash when I was at my brokest. My friends assume I have a lot of savings cause I’m frugal but I’m frugal cause I have no money..

I’ve been working for 14 years. I haven’t had a weekend night off in about 5 years.. I wasted my 20s.. and I have nothing to show for these sacrifices. I don’t have debt.. at least there is that.. my credit score is great but I can’t afford shit anyway.. but I cannot leave.. cause my parents are in their mid 60s and still working for minimum wage .. I know one day soon I’ll have to help them out financially

It feels like life is kicking my ass. If it’s not one things it’s another.. most of my teeth have holes in them.. I can barely chew.. all stemming from parents that didn’t teach me the basics… my parents are immigrants who only know work. I was a latchkey kid.. been on my own almost all my life.

I’m so sick of how my life currently is.. I can’t handle worse.

I feel hopeless.