18F here, my mum hates it when i touch the stove her usual complain is that it makes the whole house stinks and Idk she just hates it when I cook or bake.

So recently, Ive been wanting to go on a diet and also save money and i came across smth on tiktok it’s this “Electric dormitory boiling pot” where it’s self heating etc.

u can basically cook in it and stuff I went to tell her abt it hoping she wld allow it since i wont be touching her kitchen property and she jst keeps saying stuff like “Its nt gd cuz u cnt control the heat.” “The whole hse is gnna be on fire because of u.”

It seems to me as if she doesn’t feel how desperate i am to learn to cook or try to cook for myself. She complains that the whole household have to eat whatever I want to eat every single time so i srsly dont get why she doesnt allow me to cook??

And every single time I cook, which only happens once every 4-6 months is when she’s asleep and Ill secretly cook and when she wakes up she’ll say how she can smell whatever Im cooking?

I don’t get why she never lets me touch the stove despite her constant reasonings it still doesn’t make sense. I told her i want to eat healthily she jst told me to buy it outside or that she’ll cook it for me but what i want is to cook whatever i want whenever I want.

And back to the electric pot, how do i convince her to let me buy it? It’s honestly rlly stressful that she doesnt let me cook its so hard to plan out my meals and everything, i have to always waste money packing food from outside.

How do I eat lunch affordably in malls?

I wanna hear some lunch ideas for those with offices nearby shopping malls, city or CBD area but without hawker center coffee shop nearby.

Lately it has gotten even worse and it’s almost impossible to get lunch under $5. Go into kopitiam food court and Cai png 2meat1veg is now like $5.50, the chicken rice is like $7 and western is like $12. Macs or KFC fast food value meals are nearly $10.

Sometimes I vary with Encik Tan $4.50 curry rice and Saizeriya $6+ items but getting quite tired of always sticking to these options or just spamming caipng.

Used to vary with occasional casual dining like set lunches at pastamania, old street bkt, astons etc but now they are all almost $20 per meal which makes it hard to justify.

Netizens’ comments

• Sadly inflation is here to stay. If you have microwave, packing your lunch seems the way to go. Unfortunately for me, my office have no fridge or microwave. So far I tried to keep my spending down by looking at 50% lunch deals pickup options in Foodpanda or just finding deals from various food apps.
• Buy whole roast chicken and bread from supermarket. Settled for the whole day til dinner liao.
• Meal prep at home then bring to office to eat, or eat at one of those food stalls/courts that are attached to MRT like ananas cafe etc
• If you really want cheap lunch, I used to have just plain bread and home made coffee for lunch for a year to save money to pay off my tuition loan. Won’t recommend it though. But you can look at some of the promotion the mall is having, for example, a couple of weeks back, EATS had a $3 promotion on their Chicken Cutlet Curry Rice at the mall near my workplace. Just follow those places on their social media and keep a lookout for such promotion,
• Personally, I just switched my diet to just sandwiches like how ang moh settle their lunch. Sandwich with 1 fruit and free coffee (I usually get free fruit and coffee from my workplace). I admit I earn enough to eat good meals but I feel not worth eating meals at 10-15 bucks a meal around my workplace at suntec.

Besides BTO why do guys wanna get married?

I see no other benefits to marriage and kids.

Have to take a care of crying babies.

No time for yourself, no time for gaming, no time for hobbies.

No money for yourself as all go to wife and kids.

I find that its much more enjoyable being single as I have the freedom to do whatever I want anytime I want.

My daily life is just sleep, eat, gym, work, game, and repeat and I already find not having much time for myself after work.

I wonder how married couples with kids cope with life especially in Singapore where it’s so stressful.

Netizens’ comments

• To each his own. But I was single for 33 years…traveled and lived the bachelor’s dream. Then married and had my first kid at 38. I’d say married life and parenting is way more challenging. However through those challenges, we discover who we really are. Your family is the best mirror of yourself. Through knowing yourself and growth there is joy. Through the life long bonds you form there is family and kinship you actually have a say in developing. I had a bad relationship with my parents. This gave me a second chance at a functional family. When we are parents we also gain perspective on our own parents’ choices. Marriage and Parenting are some of the most difficult things people will do their whole lives. The reward is a full heart if done right. Otherwise staying single may be better.
• You do know most of your friends will get married and loneliness will set in more and more by the year. It’s also not easy to make friends when you get older. The older you get the more difficult it becomes.

Hello! I’m not sure whether this is a good place to ask, but I’m a foreigner(22M) working in Singapore while attending a part-time degree in NTU! Since the tuition fees per semester are kinda crazy (around 12k per sem), I’m looking to apply for a credit card to pay my tuition fees in installment plans, preferably 6 months. I’ve been doing this for a year now using my cousin’s card, but i kinda feel paiseh to ask him to do that for the next 3 years!

So, I head over to OCBC bank to ask more about credit cards, since they stated that they allow payments to be split across 6 months with 0% instalments fees with OCBC Cashflo credit card. One of the staffs working there told me that the number of months I can split my payments depends on the educational institution and that I still will be able to split my tuition fees into installment plans even with other credit cards.

This kinda confuses me as I’m new to this… Since he stated that I am able to split my tuition fees with other credit cards, does it mean that I can apply for other credit cards like Citibank Rewards Credit Card and pay my school fees in installments? I emailed the school about whether they allow me to split my payments, but they say that they only accept full payment…. So, I’m getting more confused about this.

I did google around to learn more about credit cards, but I get more confused the more I search about it. Any help would be appreciated!

EDIT: I do understand credit balance and things like that. But, I just want to make sure that I can split my bills into 6 months and pay off 2k per month and not 12k entirely since I will fall into credit debt, which will be a disaster to recover from.

I’m starting to think my twin brother might be an idiot and that doesn’t bode well for me (he invited me on his honeymoon, more details in my post)

My (30f) twin brother (30m) invited both me and our mom (55f) on his upcoming honeymoon. The cruise they are taking has packages and his logic was that since the cost to add 2 more guests and upgrade to a cabin with more rooms is negligible it made sense.

He thought we should come since it’s way cheaper than a regular vacation.

He did not understand why it was a bad idea even after I tried explaining that his honeymoon is for him and his fiancée and not a family vacation. Especially on a cruise ship and shares cabin where there is no escape or privacy. I asked him what he would think if his fiancée’s parents and brother were to tag along but he completely missed the point and said they have traveled a lot before and don’t need a cheap vacation.

His fiancée was so upset and they have been fighting about this. In her defence this isn’t the only issue. When they got engaged my brother suggested that they let my mom plan the whole wedding so they could avoid the stress and time it takes. They had an argument about that too before my brother relented. When my cousin got pregnant and my brother and his fiancée were talking about hypothetical names for their kids my brother said they should ask my mom because she has good ideas to pick a name. That was also an argument. There was another argument when he wanted to take mom house shopping to get her input.

This is the first time I have been dragged into it. Before I just heard about it from my brother and I never said anything or got involved. But this time I told him that while it was nice of him to think about us, the honeymoon is not the the time so I’m not going.

He countered that my mom is on board with going because of course she is. She was on board with the other suggestions like her planning the wedding. Unlike the other times he isn’t backing down and his fiancée is at the end of her rope. I have never commented on the previous issues before when he told me about them but this time I said he needs to be independent from mom or his fiancée will reach a breaking point. He’s still trying to convince me to come with him, he doesn’t get it.

I don’t know if he’s just more of an idiot than I thought but we are twins so I don’t know what that means for me. I do want to travel one day (couldn’t afford it when I was in university and then covid happened and I work in a hospital). But not sharing a cabin with my brother on his honeymoon.

I told him I’m not coming and besides the one comment about him being independent from

Living the life of a fat, ugly woman is even harder to explain. If you’ve never been that person, if you don’t pay attention to these things, you’ll never understand. (I have a BMI of 21 so probably not /that/ fat but I think I look huge no matter how much goddamn pilates and weight lifting I do.)

I’m made of transparent glass. People see straight past me, as if I’m not there. It’s awful to have to stand on the outside looking in as everyone – not just men, everyone – focuses on your more attractive friends (of which I have many!)

Unfortunately, the patriarchy (which I wish I could live to see the destruction of) has made it so that a woman’s worth is in her beauty. This has been indoctrinated in us from an early age, and I don’t have to bother giving you examples. If you don’t know what I mean, you’re choosing not to see it. Anyway, this all means that I am worthless as a woman because I am ugly. On top of that, I’m fat. Double whammy. I have a theory that you can be thin with an ugly face, or fat with a pretty face, but you should NEVER make the mistake of being fat with an ugly face. That’s a recipe for social exclusion.

It bothers me more the older I get. I catch up with old friends and they all share stories of their romantic experiences while I sit there, the silent wallflower with nothing to say. I am nothing like my peers – not because I’m pretentious and believe I’m ‘not like other girls’. Oh, how I wish I were like other girls. I’m nothing like my peers because there’s a whole world I don’t get to experience.

Don’t get me wrong, I get out enough to know that you don’t have to look like a model to be in a relationship. You can be unattractive and in a relationship! As a dark skinned black woman my dating pool is naturally smaller, and I have my doubts as to whether I could ever truly be anyone’s first choice because of my skin (something else to unpack entirely, I know). What bothers me more than the singleness is the dehumanisation. It’s so frustrating.

Anyway, that’s all I wanted to get off my chest. I’m going back to therapy on Friday because I’m obsessing over this shit again and honestly, I’d rather just stop caring.

My story is quite long, I want to tell it because I want therapy and hopefully something can be used as a lesson for those out there.

I apologize first if my writing is bad. So I write according to comfort.

My story may be a bit cliche because it’s about people’s husbands, but wait, hopefully, someone will read it to the end.

I’ll tell you my background first, I’m N, I used to be a popular at school, because I’m smart and active.

Even near the university, I was one of the smart ones, I was the best in all semesters except semester 1.

Even though I’m active and popular, I’m not the type that likes dating until I’m 25 years old. I’ve never been in a relationship, because I’m really picky, it’s easy to say I’m fussy, and I want to fall in love before marriage, gitewww..but it’s true..

I have many friends (male and female) because I am happy, go lucky and easygoing. To cut a long story short, my character is actually a naive, kind person who can’t say no, and I never feel that people who come to be friends with me have bad intentions.

My parents are the old school type who really put a lot of emphasis on religion and education, but I’m the type who doesn’t spill the gravy on the rice when it comes to religion. So I have “rebellious behavior” that wants to try the outside world. Want to live overseas

I am grateful that so far my life journey has been very smooth. I never felt there was a problem. I finished my final exam and got a job at an audit firm and my starting salary can be considered high in those days.

That’s when it all started.

I met K when I was 25 years old, K was the same age, I was the naive one who never thought K was married, I enjoyed the feeling of being loved, loved and caressed,

I like K who is protective because K is not like the man I knew before, K is very understanding, very responsible, and has a kind face, I really aim, “yes, he’s the one, husband material”.

Always meet texting,vc always for 6 months. That’s right, if we are always two, there will be a third,

From the beginning I was with K only lightly, because at that time I still stubbornly refused, still guarding my dignity, until it was 6 months, the devil managed to incite us, we managed to sleep once and I lost my V that day.

This time because my lust has not realized that I have lost everything that day. “Forgive us both, O God.” This is where the black moment of my suffering began.

One day, I was tickled to find out about K, that’s when I stalked FB and found out that he is the husband of someone who has been married for 3 years but has not been blessed with children. K got married young, that’s why at first I didn’t think K was married.

I confronted him, but was persuaded to stay and I stayed. This time I realize I will be sick, but I was deceived by K’s promise to marry me, and I was deceived by my own expectation that K would make me number 2 “I am stupid at this time, yes I will not deny it”.

Our relationship continued for 4 years, we kept this relationship a secret from A, wife K until I was 29 years old.

I forgot to tell you about K’s background, K is a contractor, self-employed, when he first got to know me, K’s business just wants to grow, and when K’s business wants to grow, K needs my help, I help K part-time (my work manage accounts and calculate taxes).

In 2 years I helped K until K’s business was quite stable. Cheating men always make their wives worse, right?

K is not like that, someone who cares a lot about me, is responsible with his wife, if K comes home I won’t mess it up. I focus on my career. For your information, I have a very stable career at the moment and I like my work, this is my ambition.

We once planned to get married in Thailand, but because K is a responsible person, he said “If I’m going to take you as my second wife, I will do it in the right way”. K wants to get his wife’s approval first. And he wants to take me nicely to my parents.

But to cut a long story short, and maybe God wants to save me, after 7 years of marriage to wife K, A suddenly got pregnant, all this time it was never close.

So permission to get married is postponed until my relationship with K cantoi when A is 3 months pregnant, today we had a fight,

K blocked me on all social media, the next day A was diagnosed with a miscarriage. Only after a week of this incident did I know the true story my friend K told me,

During that week, I was crying because I was afraid of losing K, at the same time a feeling of guilt haunted me, “Oh God, what have I done, are people arguing about me? Did it fall because of me?”

K and I broke up about a year ago. During that time, I became lonely, depressed, desired to have S and miss his hugs, feel guilty because of adultery, fear that if I don’t marry K who else will marry me?

I want a child too.. but at the same time I feel guilty, that thing eats me, I go in and out of the hospital, my body becomes weak, I become more and more friendless, I go back to work and cry on the side corner of the bed.

I am stuck.