I (20F) walked in on my Boyfriend (22M) cheating on me with his long time friend

My boyfriend who I’ll call K and I had been dating for 4 years. Afte graduation he asked me to move in with him, I agreed so that we could be together while we went to uni.

Over the years we made amazing friends here and he was just as kind to me as when we first started dating. Cute awkward text messages, surprise gifts and flowers at least once every two weeks. We had a date night every Thursday after work as well. He also told me he loved at least once a day.

Well, last week I got out of work early. I was in a good mood. On my way home from work I picked up some of his favorite donuts and went home.

When I walked in the door, I could immediately hear the moaning. I walked to our bedroom to see that our friend Elly was on top of him.

My heart dropped. Theyd known eachother for 10 years but they were never close, or so I thought. They didn’t notice me until I’d dropped the donuts.

They quickly covered themselves up and K got up to try and explain the situation to me, but I wasn’t hearing any of it. I packed a bag and left to my friends house.

I spent a week at my friend’s house wondering if I wasn’t satisfying him enough and what I did wrong. Both k and Elly bombarded me with messages trying to explain themselves.

K told me that it just happened. He said this really was the first time and it wasn’t planned at all. That I should know this isn’t the real him.

He explained that she came over and that one thing just lead to another and it was a mistake he’d do anything to fix. He’s sent me pictures of an engagement ring as well. Elly messaged me as well, saying how she never meant to hurt me and that it wasn’t supposed to be this way.

I decided to call my friend Ian and explained the situation to him. I asked him if he’d be willing to come with me and help me to grab my things while K was at work in the morning. I explained the situation to my friends and family and they all agree that leaving is the best option.

I will be taking all of my things and leaving. I don’t plan on telling K anything. He Will just come home to a partially empty home.

Am I old before my time?

People my age are spending a lot of money to travel, buy expensive watches, purses, handbags, clothes, cars, and I’m here thinking, how am I going to make enough to pay off the two rental properties I plan to have for retirement passive income and a house.

I don’t buy coffee, I don’t eat at restaurants (only hawker centers), and still the math doesn’t add up. I make close to $10K a month 5 years out of uni and I can’t imagine how I’m going to be as stable as my parents at the bare minimum.

My father isn’t a graduate but he has two paid-up apartments paying him $3500 each a month. I’m not inheriting much of these apartments I have 3 brothers.

Real estate inflation has outpaced income growth by a tremendous amount and I can’t wrap my head around how young people have enough to be spendthrift AND to prepare to retire gracefully.

As far as I know property is the only safe way to have passive income.

Unless I’m in the minority who actually gives a crap about his old age. How is it though that everyone around me seems to think that they are going to die soon when the life expectancy of Singaporeans is one of the highest in the world.

We can safely expect to live well into our 70s. Do most of us really think everything is going to work out if we don’t prepare? Will it be enough if we only start saving in our 40s?

I earn lesser, work harder, but still get blamed for wife’s extravagant expenses

My wife and I have been married for about 5 years now. I earn slightly lesser than her. About 35% lesser give or take.

It wasnt an issue and she is the one handling the finance as I thought she is better at it than I am. I basically only take transportation, lunch and CC bill and the rest pass to her. My cc is use for household needs.

She constantly say we are in debt and every single month go way off our budget and blames me for not earning enough which i make up for by literally doing ALL the household chores and cook or buy dinner. Im constantly the last person to eat, bath and sleep and the first to wake up. I iron my kid’s sch uniform, feed her, make her milk, brush her teeth, read her bedtime story while my wife does the toilet stuff. I work about 2-3 hours longer than she does. She constantly complain shes tired even on days that she doesnt work and all she did was send my kid to school.

We basically took loan or installment to clear cc bill and somehow its my fault.

Recently i did some calculation and realise that my pay covers all our expenses including our crazy ass expensive insurance that she bought and refuse to downgrade.

She has been buying things in bulk as its cheaper in long run but it burst our monthly budget.(eg buying 400+ worth of milk when we can afford only buy 1 or 2 can a month given our lifestyle). She also a heavy grab user.

Its such purchases that put us in debt and somehow its my fault. And sometime when we want to get something we want like a new piece of furniture and recreation item, i would ask her if we can afford it since she is handling the finance and she say can. And when its time to pay the bills, its my fault again.

Unlike me, when i use cc to pay something, i set the cash aside to pay for it at the end of the month(cc has good rebates). All these while i thought she did the same.

I basically have no money apart from transportation and lunch money. And when i dont eat, i save that money until i have enough to buy something i want.(my lunch money is barely $100 per month). When i buy it, i get scolded for buying things for myself rather than give the family.

We do set a budget on things each month including outings expenses. On paper, it should be more than enough and even have leftover for saving. But she keep buying bulks, buying presents for my kid’s classmate like childrens day, christmas, cny etc, when buying from redmart, alot of unnecessary things like snacks or buying 10 packet of detergent cause cheaper.

I’m tired. Extremely.