I (20F) walked in on my Boyfriend (22M) cheating on me with his long time friend

My boyfriend who I’ll call K and I had been dating for 4 years. Afte graduation he asked me to move in with him, I agreed so that we could be together while we went to uni.

Over the years we made amazing friends here and he was just as kind to me as when we first started dating. Cute awkward text messages, surprise gifts and flowers at least once every two weeks. We had a date night every Thursday after work as well. He also told me he loved at least once a day.

Well, last week I got out of work early. I was in a good mood. On my way home from work I picked up some of his favorite donuts and went home.

When I walked in the door, I could immediately hear the moaning. I walked to our bedroom to see that our friend Elly was on top of him.

My heart dropped. Theyd known eachother for 10 years but they were never close, or so I thought. They didn’t notice me until I’d dropped the donuts.

They quickly covered themselves up and K got up to try and explain the situation to me, but I wasn’t hearing any of it. I packed a bag and left to my friends house.

I spent a week at my friend’s house wondering if I wasn’t satisfying him enough and what I did wrong. Both k and Elly bombarded me with messages trying to explain themselves.

K told me that it just happened. He said this really was the first time and it wasn’t planned at all. That I should know this isn’t the real him.

He explained that she came over and that one thing just lead to another and it was a mistake he’d do anything to fix. He’s sent me pictures of an engagement ring as well. Elly messaged me as well, saying how she never meant to hurt me and that it wasn’t supposed to be this way.

I decided to call my friend Ian and explained the situation to him. I asked him if he’d be willing to come with me and help me to grab my things while K was at work in the morning. I explained the situation to my friends and family and they all agree that leaving is the best option.

I will be taking all of my things and leaving. I don’t plan on telling K anything. He Will just come home to a partially empty home.

Am I old before my time?

People my age are spending a lot of money to travel, buy expensive watches, purses, handbags, clothes, cars, and I’m here thinking, how am I going to make enough to pay off the two rental properties I plan to have for retirement passive income and a house.

I don’t buy coffee, I don’t eat at restaurants (only hawker centers), and still the math doesn’t add up. I make close to $10K a month 5 years out of uni and I can’t imagine how I’m going to be as stable as my parents at the bare minimum.

My father isn’t a graduate but he has two paid-up apartments paying him $3500 each a month. I’m not inheriting much of these apartments I have 3 brothers.

Real estate inflation has outpaced income growth by a tremendous amount and I can’t wrap my head around how young people have enough to be spendthrift AND to prepare to retire gracefully.

As far as I know property is the only safe way to have passive income.

Unless I’m in the minority who actually gives a crap about his old age. How is it though that everyone around me seems to think that they are going to die soon when the life expectancy of Singaporeans is one of the highest in the world.

We can safely expect to live well into our 70s. Do most of us really think everything is going to work out if we don’t prepare? Will it be enough if we only start saving in our 40s?

I earn lesser, work harder, but still get blamed for wife’s extravagant expenses

My wife and I have been married for about 5 years now. I earn slightly lesser than her. About 35% lesser give or take.

It wasnt an issue and she is the one handling the finance as I thought she is better at it than I am. I basically only take transportation, lunch and CC bill and the rest pass to her. My cc is use for household needs.

She constantly say we are in debt and every single month go way off our budget and blames me for not earning enough which i make up for by literally doing ALL the household chores and cook or buy dinner. Im constantly the last person to eat, bath and sleep and the first to wake up. I iron my kid’s sch uniform, feed her, make her milk, brush her teeth, read her bedtime story while my wife does the toilet stuff. I work about 2-3 hours longer than she does. She constantly complain shes tired even on days that she doesnt work and all she did was send my kid to school.

We basically took loan or installment to clear cc bill and somehow its my fault.

Recently i did some calculation and realise that my pay covers all our expenses including our crazy ass expensive insurance that she bought and refuse to downgrade.

She has been buying things in bulk as its cheaper in long run but it burst our monthly budget.(eg buying 400+ worth of milk when we can afford only buy 1 or 2 can a month given our lifestyle). She also a heavy grab user.

Its such purchases that put us in debt and somehow its my fault. And sometime when we want to get something we want like a new piece of furniture and recreation item, i would ask her if we can afford it since she is handling the finance and she say can. And when its time to pay the bills, its my fault again.

Unlike me, when i use cc to pay something, i set the cash aside to pay for it at the end of the month(cc has good rebates). All these while i thought she did the same.

I basically have no money apart from transportation and lunch money. And when i dont eat, i save that money until i have enough to buy something i want.(my lunch money is barely $100 per month). When i buy it, i get scolded for buying things for myself rather than give the family.

We do set a budget on things each month including outings expenses. On paper, it should be more than enough and even have leftover for saving. But she keep buying bulks, buying presents for my kid’s classmate like childrens day, christmas, cny etc, when buying from redmart, alot of unnecessary things like snacks or buying 10 packet of detergent cause cheaper.

I’m tired. Extremely.

I became “rich” in my terms, society says it’s not enough

I’m not born with a silver spoon. My family were in poverty. Rental flat, parents struggling and turbulent childhood. We live by the day and in constant survival mode.

But since young, I told myself I wanted to get out of this circle. Did my best in school, got a scholarship and eventually graduated with a decent gov job.

After the bond ended, quit and started an e-commerce service with my business partner. Eventually, we cannot bring the business forward and sold it. We made a pile. I went into a semi-retirement state and got a decent job to “enrich” myself.

I helped my parents and paid off their first BTO. But heart disease robbed me of my Dad so he didn’t enjoy much from my success. That was my greatest regret.

I’m becoming delusional recently. I feel like I’m neither here nor there in this society.

My old friends think I’m “rich” and start to behave differently. They think my money is limitless and suggested silly expensive initiatives (like dubious stocks, forex or cryptocurrencies) to me. When I reject, they think I’m snobbish, arrogant, stingy or out of touch. I missed the good old days when we dun put money in the discussion.

When I attend summits and galas to mingle with the elites, I realised I couldn’t click. They speak their lingo and seem like I’m not in their circle. Maybe they think my net worth or dubious past is not worth their attention.

Then I see all the incentives the government gave; I realised that given my net worth I don’t qualify for most of the relief. Part of me agreed with them but part of me felt unfair, given I was in poverty when I was young and had hoped more was given as “compensation”.

Recently I got into an accident with a motorcyclist. I admit it was partly my fault and offer to compensate him. I was willing to pay based on his demands, but then I got a tip-off that he posted my car pics in a private group and asked for advice from the members “what to claim from this rich merc driver GAO GAO?” I was even more furious when many replied to him on how to keng to claim more leech from me. I screenshot the post and was almost going to engage a lawyer for this case but decided against it as I was original at fault in the accident.

FFS my car is a 2nd hand 2015 A180, even a new Hyundai is now more expensive! And I may be “rich” in your terms, but I don’t print money and don’t use them as toilet paper.

I worked my ass for them, I give up playing, relationships and even some friends for it. I lost sleep, skipped meals, and shower time and got sick and almost died for it. Argue with my business partner and “whore” myself to investors and stakeholders for it. Any start-up entrepreneur will know my pain. Many don’t understand the sacrifice I made for that money. I literally bleed for them. I’m not those ASK who have it all in life without lifting a finger and can ask their dads to sponsor. My dad is dead!

And I donate a large part of them to the organisation that helped my family when I was a boy, as a payback for their help, and don’t get me started on the income tax I have to pay for that payout from the sales of our business.

But people still want to take advantage of me just becos I’m deemed “rich”. This is so twisted and depressing.

Rich people problem? Maybe, but the loneliness of being neither here nor there, and feeling of unjust are real and painful.

Fiance makes less and repays loans slowly

I am getting married soon in six months and we’ve been together almost two years. I love my fiancé very much but something is bugging me and I’m here seeking advice from everyone, particularly women.

I earn a higher salary than him and it didn’t actually bother me at first, but he started asking for loans and I was fine with it because it wasn’t that much.

He seems pretty responsible with money. He doesn’t have any consumer debt, just a car loan that he pays monthly.

I just find it unnerving that he seems to be taking his own sweet time to repay my loans to the point that I just had to let it go.

What I’m afraid of, is that he may take things for granted and later when we are married, he may assume that he can ask money from me if he doesn’t not enough.

Partly this is my fault because I stayed silent these past two years. I didn’t want to appear ‘calculative’ or be called a MoneyFace.

So I’m asking the ladies here and maybe the men, how do I talk to him about this and how do I approach this so that I won’t end up resenting him?

Gf prefers to sit next to guy friend instead of me

2 months ago I took my girlfriend out for a teppanyaki meal and she ask our good guy friend to join us. She decided to sit at the end, leaving the guy friend sitting in the middle of us.

As they were talking throughout the meal, I felt left out. We fought over this but her reason was that she was already there, so she just sat down and never thought this will caused any discomfort.

3 days ago we attended a seminar together and same situation happened again which I felt so sianz throughout the whole day.

We fought over this and again she uses the same reason which I told her it’s a matter of choice and not default.

As I know most ladies would prefer to sit next to their guy in whatever situation so I find my girlfriend strange. Wanna seek general opinions about my girlfriend thought process.

Greatly appreciate it

How to manage old age parents wanting to move in with us?

Hi all, would like gain an understanding from the readers here, for those with old age parents in their 70-80s, are they living in their own place or are they living with you? If they are living with you, are your spouse and kids ok with it?

My spouse and I have 2 kids, recently my parents suggested to move in with us as they are getting older and require more care. The thing is, we are both working in office 5 days a week and the only time we will be present at home will be when we return home from work.

Wondering how majority of you handle this? As my spouse has mentioned that they would prefer if it was just us and our kids, as they are concerned about the level of care needed should the parents move in.

Parents generally have no health issues as of now, just occasional check ups that I accompany them to, nothing major but anything might happen once they live with us like falling down etc…

I have 2 other siblings, I’m the eldest. Both siblings are married, one with kids and one without. Would it make more sense for parents to ask sibling with no kids to live with them instead?

Helpzzz.

Netizens’ comments

What goes around, comes around. What if when you are around 70s or 80s, want to move in with either of your kids as you are getting older and they work in office 5days a week too.