I don’t know how many guys I’ve slept with. I didn’t think I was supposed to be keeping track. Even a guesstimate is very blurry

There were periods in my life where I’d hook up with a Tinder date that went well just so I’d have a place to stay that wasn’t at home

I broke down during therapy when my doctor said I’m allowed to tell guys no, I’d never done that

I lost my virginity when I was 16 to a guy in his 30s. He said if I didn’t he would quit inviting me out with the cast of the show I was in. After that I never said no.

I never had a boyfriend my entire adult life. Guys would screw me on the first date and move on.

I finally have a boyfriend and he announced his number was 11. He looked at me and I just played coy.

If somebody hooked me up to a lie detector test I would guess 40? 50? I got tested for STDs earlier this year when I got the birth control implant and I am clean.

Netizens’ comments

• Congrats on Boyfriend. Forget the past and be happy. Good luck
• In spite of our best efforts there is no hope for a better past. Learn from it and make a better future.
• Just try and move forward, the past is in the past for a reason

Company spamming me and chasing me for work when I’m sick and on MC.

I just joined this company and started work last Monday, fell sick on Friday evening with flu and thought I’d recover after resting over the weekend, but was still feeling like crap with runny nose and headache yesterday morning, so I went to a doctor and got a medical certificate for 2 days. Also skipped their “company outing” on Saturday night.

I took a pic of the MC and showed them in the company group chat, but they were still spamming me and calling me throughout the entire day about work. The boss called me at 8pm wanting to deliver the company laptop to my place. I had fallen asleep at 7+pm after taking the meds that made me drowsy, felt my phone vibrating a few times but just ignored it and fell back into a deep sleep.

This morning, they started spamming me with messages since 9am, calling me multiple times, I picked it up once and they said they want to deliver the laptop again and asked me to finish some work by today, sending me a few zipped files and documents that I haven’t read. I said I have my laptop at home and I’ll check out the files and have ignored their messages since then.

Is this even normal??? I feel like this company is crazy and I shouldn’t be bombarded with so much crap that makes me so stressed out when I’m sick. It feels like I’m not allowed to even have a personal life or any rest outside of work. It’s crazy.

I met this guy online. I caught feelings for him first but never had the courage to confess my feelings for him because I always believe in guys making the first move.

We hung out and chatted everyday but he never made any moves in showing that he wanted to take the relationship further into the next step. He said he likes to take things slow and his intention on the app was to know more friends while I was looking for a long term partner. So, along the way, I tried to get to know other guys because I do not know if he has feelings for me even though we chatted and hung out with each other everyday. I knew my feelings for him was stronger so, other guys that I went out with didn’t really infatuated me as he did.

One day after a few months we knew each other, he suddenly asked if we could be together. I agreed on the terms of we can try for a month but he broke it off suddenly after 3 weeks because he was already going to move to another city to work and he felt we weren’t compatible and I couldn’t give him what he wanted. He said he might change his mind in the future and still wanted to be friends.

I cried very bad when it ended but I agreed to it because I didn’t want to lose him even as a friend. We continued to chat and hung out with each other after the ‘break up’ until he moved away. But, along the way, he started to do all those couple stuff to me (eg. kissing, hugging etc). I allowed him to because I know I still loved him but it confused me because it gave me the hope that he still might have feelings for me.

I know it was silly for me to allow him to do that and I didn’t confront him about it. The relationship eventually turned into an FWB kind of relationship. He told me he didn’t have any feelings for me. He knew I still loved him and always asked me to let go and move on. One day, he suddenly cut me off because he said he found another. I knew the day would come and I was devastated by the news. I gave my blessings and tbh, it felt like he took my whole world away when he broke the news to me.

I still miss him until today and I know I shouldn’t bother him anymore.

Just how much do we really know about seemingly normal and high achieving peers around us? You never know how someone truly is until you sit behind one on the bus (not going to say which bus) and observe her phone right behind her.

A lady wearing long sleeves and long pants (v conservative) boarded the bus with a laptop in her arms, like any random university graduate.Then as she took out her phone, with that super large screen, I saw more information than I should.

She logged into her gmail and I could see from behind that all the emails are from “sugar book” and almost all of them are about sugar daddies. She scrolled down frothed and the whole screen is filled with sugar daddy stuff.

She wasn’t searching explicitly for such information, it’s her default view whenever she logs into her personal mail. There wasn’t even anything advertising in nature or any newsletter she subscribed to. It’s all sugar baby sugar daddy emails.

Next, I saw her log into her work stuff and I could see the name of her company. A really elite and reputable big bank in Singapore. I didn’t see what she talked about on that app but she didn’t stay on that app for long, before she SWITCHED BACK TO BROWSE ABOUT SUGAR DADDIES.

She logged again into her Instagram and from what I saw, her feed was super normal, not about anything luxurious or extravagant. No designer bags, no overseas holidays, no sexy photos, just a plain and Ordinary person?

Then, she logged into her posb online banking app. I could see that her registered name is the same as her Instagram name, and she has only $600 left in her account? That’s a healthy amount, right?

I started googling her name from what I saw. Yes, it led me right to her LinkedIn page, same company, same name. Looks very high flier, doesn’t look fishy at all!

And I scrolled to see that she used to be from a top jc and she’s the same age as me!! I’m not from her elite jc, but I do seem to know a fair bit about her from her PUBLIC social media and LinkedIn profiles.

I’m just asking, why would a professional from a top tier bank (probably from management associate programme) want to be a sugar baby, and how come she only has 600 dollars saved in her savings?

It doesn’t make sense. I know not al sugar babies offer s*x, and almost all do not, but why?

Married IT staff in engineering firm is harassing my wife

So I discovered this after browsing my wife’s phone while looking for an important message and chanced upon a WhatsApp conversion between her and the IT staff.

The IT staff was sending my wife messages like “love u”, “I want to hug you”, ”I want to pinch your cheeks”, “I love your scent”. This married man who has 2 kids has the cheek to continuously send this to my wife for over the period of 2 years.

He helps my wife a lot on IT matters but through that sends these disgusting messages..

This abuse of position really makes me sick.

I have all the past evidence of the conversations in hand.

Should I let this go?

Netizens’ comments

• I’m invested. So, what kind of replies did your wife give during these alleged harassments??
• Was her replies like “reboot me please” or “please force shutdown my machine”
• Maybe the funny IT guy was sending her password reset phrases?
• I have good news and bad news for you bro…. the good news is I don’t think your wife is being harrassed

I was born in Singapore but left when I was 5 and currently live in the United States as a US citizen age 28M.

I visited Singapore once as a teenager and haven’t been back since. As my grandparents get older, I’d like to see them before they pass. I tried to renounce my citizenship via the Singapore embassy in San Francisco and received a rejection letter explaining that I’m classified as an NS defaulter.

I have heard success stories of folks in my position and am wondering if anyone more knowledgeable about the topic could advise me on the next steps.

Doing research on the topic, it’s clear that there is a procedure my parents were supposed to follow but did not.

So I’m not looking to be re-educated on this protocol but would instead like to understand paths forward to correct these mistakes. Thanks much for your help!

Edit: obviously won’t be acting on Reddit advice alone but will be using it as lead generation before doing due diligence. Will consult legal professionals before even considering stepping foot in Singapore.

To make it exceedingly clear, the only way I’ll volunteer to go back is with a blessing from the government. However I am also interested in hearing off the book experiences.

Here are what netizens think:

• Go to Malaysia. Ask your relatives to go to Malaysia to reunite.

• You’d get arrested at the airport if you come back. I’ve relatives in the same situation as you.

• I mean it’s the law. It’s not a matter of being kind or being petty. You could propose that the govt turn a blind eye towards defaulters but half the population probably got something to say about that.

• There are no success stories within SG’s borders. Don’t act based on hearsay accounts. We’ve shown you facts in the form of concrete cases that have happened and reported in the news. TDLR; you will be arrested and jailed then deported, don’t even think of trying.

My husband has anger management issues. Will always pick fights with me and will strangle and beat me up when angry. It started with him raising his voice at me when angry. Then he started throwing things at me. Later he punched walls. Kicked chairs. And finally he laid hands on me.

When he started to lay his hands on me, I secretly went to the doctor to have the injuries documented. I made police reports online against my husband and submitted the medical evidence.

I did all these without telling my husband.

He’s been convicted and sentenced to jail before for verbally and physically assaulting some strangers in the past.

The police contacted me and asked if I wanted to pursue my case. I said not yet and made the police reports simply to have the evidence documented and recorded. And as a protective measure.

So far several such police reports have been made.

I don’t hope for him to go to jail again yet I feel that I needed to do what I did to protect myself.

I am not sure what to make of our marriage. What’s a marriage without trust. I do not trust that he has my interest at heart at all. I do not trust him to protect and keep me from harm. He’s become the very source of my fear and danger.

Divorce him, everyone says. It’s easier said than done. I have put up with so much and for so long. I am emotionally and physically battered. I am not sure I can be independent. I am not sure if I ever will find anyone. Who will want to be with someone damaged like me? Who can? Who will be able to understand? Most importantly, I don’t trust my own judgment anymore. I failed myself and committed myself to a man who’s abusive towards me and put up with it for years. I am a divorcee. Is happiness still within reach?

Hindsight, my confidence. My beauty. My intelligence. My independence. All these are perhaps what made my husband feel extremely insecure. Especially when other men give me attention. What made him feel he needs to “reign me in” by all means.

He began doing and saying various things to chip at my confidence. He beat me up to mar my looks. And through his actions slowly and surely he turned me into someone timid. Unsure.

Nowadays, though when I look into the mirror I still see a pretty lady, I feel ugly, humiliated and defeated inside because of the way I have been treated.

Sometimes I cry. But I cry mostly because of how I let this happen to me. If there’s anyone I am angry at it’s myself. Out of love I chose to continue to trust despite him abusing that trust. Out of love I chose him over me when he continued to choose himself over and over. Out of love I tolerated and took the beatings and verbal abuses. And overtime, I lost myself and now I feel like an empty vessel running on an empty tank with nothing more to give.

The physical injuries heal, but the emotional damage from abuse is permanent. I am not the same person as I was before him. And that perhaps is what saddens me most. The me I used to know is gone forever.

My (f28) SIL “Amy” (f26) always comes to visit from out of town.

She stays with us instead of a hotel, and always wants to go to expensive restaurants. She always conveniently forgets her wallet, or domes up with some excuses as to why she can’t pay her share.

She has implied that since I make much more money than her, I should be the one to pay (no, not my husband should pay, but me specifically). I do make a fair amount of money, but not so much that I can treat someone every time they come into town. Nonetheless, in the past, I have just paid the bill and asked her to pay me back. She never has.

She had made a reservation at an extremely expensive restaurant last night, and before we left, I made it clear that I wouldn’t be paying her bill.

This is where I might be the punk, and I’ll admit I got this move straight from and episode of Two and a Half men. As we were leaving, her and my husband went to the car. I pretended I forgot something and went back inside. I found her wallet sitting right on top of her suitcase. I put it in my purse and we went to the restaurant.

When we were done eating, I asked for separate bills. She said no, we need one bill, because she “forgot” her wallet again. I reached in my purse and said, “this wallet?”

She was extremely furious. She said that I should not have touched or grabbed her wallet.

So am I wrong for taking her wallet and bringing it to the restaurant?